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DMT- I can't trip without feeling extreme evil and darkness. Need help

Why are so many people suggesting that the feeling is coming from within him and that the only way to get rid of the feeling is to change something about his life or personality? Obviously you are thinking of things that happen/have happened in the world that are very real and very disconcerting. You are talking about how you think of slavery and murder and so on, and these are things that you can't fix completely (but you can try your best to make happen less if that is your goal in life.) So maybe these are the things you should be concentrating on!

This is the feeling that many people experience: trying to hold two ideas simultaneously that are difficult to reconcile. For example, trying to feel that the world is nothing but love but remembering that a massive number of people live in poverty and all of civilization's history is filled with stories of genocide and slavery. Or, for example, trying to survive and be happy in a world that deep-down you know is fundamentally wrong and going in a bad direction (i.e. you want to be successful and make a decent amount of money to provide for your family but you actually wish that system and way of life didn't exist in the first place.)

I, for example, believe that civilization took the human species out of the system of biological evolution that had been working well for billions of years and replaced it with a destructive way of life that can not possible go on forever. We are ripping finite resources from the earth to improve our standard of living while massively increasing the number of humans on earth by destroying multitudes of other species, setting ourselves up for a massive collapse. But there is no plausible way out of it so all I can do is live my life, trying to be happy by taking care of the ones I love, and trying to do the things that I feel are productive and not destructive.

It is hard to "consume" plastic while at the same time knowing that is completely poisoning the oceans and the earth itself, but unfortunately I still use it more often than I'd like to. If I were to take a psychedelic right now I would probably like to go to place I enjoy (like a local park with a pond that I take my dog to often) and I would never have a completely "happy" trip that is "full of love" because I would walk around the lake seeing all the shit people have thrown into the water (beer cans, plastic water bottles, fishing equipment) and that would bother me to some degree because it always bothers me to some degree. Unfortunately, on psychedelics it would bother me to a much greater degree, but it wouldn't consume me because I have come to terms (somewhat) with the way I see the world and the explanations I have come up (or realized from other people.) This is why I rarely trip anymore, but loved tripping years ago when I still had a million unanswered questions zipping around my brain.

So just as you start thinking of horrible things when you take DMT or whatever, you probably think of these same things occasionally when you are not tripping. In a sense, it IS your mind that has to take a position on the things that bother you, but never forget there is a very REAL, physical world out there that is probably more important than your or any one of us. So you can either 1) let the things you dislike continue to bother you, 2) forget all about them pretending the don't exist enjoying the "bliss of ignorance", or 3) decide how you as an individual can put an end to (more realistically, minimize) the things that bother you so much.

...or maybe I'm completely wrong and your thoughts of slavery, torture, and murder actually represent a demon in your life like an ex-gf/bf that you didn't end things with on a good note. ;)

good luck!
 
is dmt and 5-meo-dmt the same?? i thought they were different and i thoguht 5-meo-dmt is not as good?
 
cecil_cbr said:
i am not doing this just for fun or to trip, i'm doing it to try and learn something
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If you're serious about this, then the answer is that you need to think this stuff through and integrate it into your view of the world. Life is not all rainbows and butterflies, so don't expect your trips to be either. Everyone always runs up against a wall of shit that they just don't want to think about, and if you really want to get past it you have to just resist your aversion to thinking about it and try to come up with some kind of position or solution that makes sense to you.
 
I have never had evil dwell on my psyche using dmt, I know that it is the world around us that affects us during these experiences. I know I used to think, I have nothing. Thing is I did not want to live up to cultural mores' (stable home, family, job etc.) I felt exiled more after using DMT and LSD. It was a positive thing for me in the end. I am one who talks to aliens and horses and cats on DMT. I learn a great deal about our world, I feel, on DMT.

I used to say "Acid is Life" I meant it. I was on the shit alot and I lived on it. Now I have integrated this thought into my reality. I used to see alot of wild scenarios play out on LSD. I have been arrested, broke a dudes finger, been beat up by cops, all on LSD. I am a really grounded shamanistic fucker now. I used to make'em scream ugh! in the 90's. I have adapted to my world. I love these compounds, and I treat them with the respect they deserve. It was a long road for me. I started to wake up around 21-22 yrs old. I have had bad trips. I have had life changing trips. I consumed a large dose in '99 and headed out, hooked up with the rainbow tribe on accident. Lived with them for some time. It was an experience, just not really my cup of tea. I appreciate that you must know that this just isn't a high. This is education in some sense. OP, I believe if you are of sound mind, use common sense, and good judgement you will go far. I hope you enjoy your life with these drugs as much as I have been able to, even though I started out amiss.
 
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I've seen the face of the devil, or well, some horned creature that had the head of a ram, come right out of my wall...I realized right then that I needed to face it, and then I realized it was all just silly and laughed hysterically at the idea of the devil...I believe in god...but face that evil head on, and you can beat it, it is more likely evil in you, and I'm sure you can beat it
 
This thread really hit home with me. I used to experience such wonderful imagery on tryptamines, but things have gotten really dark of late. I had a bad trip ages ago, and it somehow seems to be interwoven with that, it's all very bizarre.

Been trying to figure it out for ages, I know it's all trying to tell me something, I have had the same imagery on LSD and DMT. I haven't done mushrooms in a while so I'm interested to see if I get the same imagery with them as well. There is some really interesting ideas in here though, that I will be pondering.
 
If you were to ask me, the evil is a part of you. You need to embrace it warmly and accept it with love. It's like the Matrix. Neo and Smith have to be integrated to have peace. It's all a metaphor and your subconscious can only operate by metaphors (besides language is too limiting to describe what you're going through which is why it is personified as evil).

You're in Room 101. You can get out easily. Just don't fight it. Accept it. It is you that is causing this fear, or really your subconscious. You may also be tripping a little too excessively.

cecil_cbr said:
I have been having problems lately with taking tryptamines, especially dmt and 5-meo-dmt. Every time i smoke them i get an instance sense of extreme anxiety and fear, coupled with feeling evil and hate to its most deep levels. I try to meditate before i go into a session, but instead of being able to see the beauty of the drug all i feel is fear and evil.

My last trip i saw evil to its fullest extent here on earth, experiencing the pain the world and feeling exactly what its like to be murdered, tortured, having your wealth and land stolen from you and left to die, being forced to be someone else's slave, being a part of an evil ritual, etc etc. I saw how evil hurts people and animals of the world and how it feels no remorse for doing so, and i saw how deep it goes and the awful feelings that come with it.

I seem to get this pretty much everytime i trip, but sometimes i am able to relax enough to just enjoy the visuals and altered state but it still seems to be there to some extent until i come down. I got really caught up into some conspiracy theories recently and i've been digging really deep into some of the hidden evil things that are going on in the world so maybe this is my lesson for doing so? I really want to see the beauty and love of tryptamines but this shit is starting to really scare me. I need help getting past this, because i am not doing this just for fun or to trip, i'm doing it to try and learn something and see the real beauty and love that so many others seem to talk about when doing these drugs. Has anyone else been through this? I know alot of people will tell me to just take a break and stop for awhile, but i feel the same thing when even going on months breaks in between. I don't need to run away from this and i don't need to prevent myself from experiencing something just because of fear, i need to beat this. Can anyone relate or help?
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My advice here is to not fight it and embrace it. It worked instantly for me. I had a friend tell me I should stop trying to beat it (which is impossible) and learn to love myself. I am the product of all my experiences and the words "good" and "bad" are just things I associate with but they have no intrinsic meaning. So what you call "evil" is probably something that has helped you in the past or you've used it somehow and you need to accept it is as much a part of you as your "good" side. I really "awoke" when I did this and now I feel I can program my human biocomputer with ease. See John Lilly's Programming the Human Biocomputer.
 
I use to share the opinions expressed above that evil is just some part of ourselves that need to be integrated with acceptance and love.

Doses of so called "calcium bufotenate" Have changed all that, and I now believe that there's disembodied evil that exists independently from us, and this evil is just EVIL and willfull MADDNESS OF a full on pychopathic nature, and will not be integrated with any amount of love and acceptance, and that love and acceptance is not an appropriate response to this sort of EVIL.

"Calcium Bufotenate" is a hell of a drug! 8o
 
you say you havent broken through and i have similar feelings smoking small amounts of dmt. Can cause a lot of anxiety. When i break through much different experience
 
cecil_cbr said:
My last trip i saw evil to its fullest extent here on earth, experiencing the pain the world and feeling exactly what its like to be murdered, tortured, having your wealth and land stolen from you and left to die, being forced to be someone else's slave, being a part of an evil ritual, etc etc. I saw how evil hurts people and animals of the world and how it feels no remorse for doing so, and i saw how deep it goes and the awful feelings that come with it.
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Next time you come back to my city, let me know first.

Perhaps your dark reaction to the DMT is a result of your guilt for not helping enough to solve the world's problems? Or maybe there was a world event or movie or something that really affected you, and maybe you kind of repressed the whole thing at the time it happened...

In any case, I would take a break from the substance to evaluate your situation (soberly) as a whole. Think of it as a spiritual journey without the drugs.
 
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