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DMT- I can't trip without feeling extreme evil and darkness. Need help

C

cecil_cbr

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
39
I have been having problems lately with taking tryptamines, especially dmt and 5-meo-dmt. Every time i smoke them i get an instance sense of extreme anxiety and fear, coupled with feeling evil and hate to its most deep levels. I try to meditate before i go into a session, but instead of being able to see the beauty of the drug all i feel is fear and evil.

My last trip i saw evil to its fullest extent here on earth, experiencing the pain the world and feeling exactly what its like to be murdered, tortured, having your wealth and land stolen from you and left to die, being forced to be someone else's slave, being a part of an evil ritual, etc etc. I saw how evil hurts people and animals of the world and how it feels no remorse for doing so, and i saw how deep it goes and the awful feelings that come with it.

I seem to get this pretty much everytime i trip, but sometimes i am able to relax enough to just enjoy the visuals and altered state but it still seems to be there to some extent until i come down. I got really caught up into some conspiracy theories recently and i've been digging really deep into some of the hidden evil things that are going on in the world so maybe this is my lesson for doing so? I really want to see the beauty and love of tryptamines but this shit is starting to really scare me. I need help getting past this, because i am not doing this just for fun or to trip, i'm doing it to try and learn something and see the real beauty and love that so many others seem to talk about when doing these drugs. Has anyone else been through this? I know alot of people will tell me to just take a break and stop for awhile, but i feel the same thing when even going on months breaks in between. I don't need to run away from this and i don't need to prevent myself from experiencing something just because of fear, i need to beat this. Can anyone relate or help?
 
I'm going to send this to Psychedelic Drugs, as it's more appropriate for that forum.

My 2c: if you're getting experiences like that, then you either need to face the cause of the underlying darkness (which is coming from within you) or stop taking such heavy psychs. I had a profoundly negative experience from an accidental high-dose 5-meo-dmt trip, and haven't been able to do anything stronger than low-dose LSD since.
 
5-meo-dmt isn't sunshine and beauty ;)
I find it helpful to meditate before the trip and during the trip.
Let the negative feelings float away, focus on your breathing, let go.
 
I read somewhere on Erowid that a guy was having problems with DMT for a long time until he finally decided to do it near a body of water and he feels as though that reacted with his trip in a very positive way.

try to keep changing up the set and setting maybe?

have you been doing it inside? outside? during the day? at night?

is there a slight chance that MDMA would help get your mind out of the gutter?
 
Maybe i should change the setting, i usually do it in my house but there were a few times i did it outside and it was about the same. I am careful though, i always dose pretty small just in case it gets too overwhelming. When i get a decent trip where the negative feelings are smaller, i dose higher because i usually get such a weak trip when i go in such tiny doses. I still get frustrated however, because i still haven't broken through on this drug, even when smoking up to 120 mg.

I just did 6-apb about a month ago which was nice, but the afterglow and good feelings only last so long; i guess its only a matter of time before the negative things in life come crawling back. I'm working on meditating though, so hopefully this will help me a bit.
 
Just a thougt, but if this is happening to you everytime, maybe the DMT, 5-MEO-DMT, or whatever psychedelic you are using is trying to show you something? Are you fighting the experience everytime this happens? Is there something on your mind that needs to be dealt with?

I know people who have experienced this when they first was experimenting with 5-MEO-DMT/DMT and couldn't experience the beuaty and aweomeness of these drugs until they 'let go' and faced their fears/problems.

I once had a DMT trip that went south but ended up being a good trip in the end because I was able to identify some issues in my life that I was ignoring. At the end of this trip It was understood that I could not return to using DMT until I faced and resolved these issues. I knew that if I smoked DMT again without doing this, that I would have another bad trip.

So I addressed the issues that I was having, corrected them, and the next time I had DMT was the more beutiful, awesome, and beyond trip that I ever had in my life.

I believe that these drugs are tools, medicine, and can teach you and show you stuff about yourself. Bad trips aren't necessarily bad if the outcome is good.
 
i think there are some good suggestions here. dose, set/setting are definitely important - i know that next time i come across DMT i will be doing it in a different place because the last time i had it, something didn't sit right. might've been the chinese dragon head in my apartment bossing me around, hmm.

the context of what has been happening in your life is also a (more complicated) variable.
i have certainly had dmt trips flavoured by what i have been studying, thinking about and musing about in the weeks or days leading up to the trip. i don't know how you can change that, as self-censoring to only focus on lighter, more optimistic subject matter seems a bit...weird.

perhaps the power of dmt can help you realise if there are any serious issues that are tainting your enjoyment of the experience that relate directly to your life. i can't speculate on what that might be, but perhaps there is something bumming you out (or stopping you from realising your full potential) that is bubbling up from your subconscious. i think integrating your trips (especially the dark, difficult ones) into your normal existence is one of the great wonders of psychedelic experimentation.

edit - just realised that i practically reworded bits of the post above mine. well, i guess we're in agreement...sorry 'bout that.
 
I been going through this same thing recently.
Had a dark scary double peak trip on DMT that sent me sideways.
Read my trip report somewhere on here. Search my post. I put three trips in one post.
It was all good the first few times but everything turned crazy and bad after.
Now I'm scared to do it.

I got a sweet message the second time though. I don't exactly have to do it anymore. lol

Don't force yourself to learn. Learning can only come with time. (which seems to stop or speed up on DMT)
 
<<ellisd>> said:
Just a thougt, but if this is happening to you everytime, maybe the DMT, 5-MEO-DMT, or whatever psychedelic you are using is trying to show you something? Are you fighting the experience everytime this happens? Is there something on your mind that needs to be dealt with?

I know people who have experienced this when they first was experimenting with 5-MEO-DMT/DMT and couldn't experience the beuaty and aweomeness of these drugs until they 'let go' and faced their fears/problems.

I once had a DMT trip that went south but ended up being a good trip in the end because I was able to identify some issues in my life that I was ignoring. At the end of this trip It was understood that I could not return to using DMT until I faced and resolved these issues. I knew that if I smoked DMT again without doing this, that I would have another bad trip.

So I addressed the issues that I was having, corrected them, and the next time I had DMT was the more beutiful, awesome, and beyond trip that I ever had in my life.

I believe that these drugs are tools, medicine, and can teach you and show you stuff about yourself. Bad trips aren't necessarily bad if the outcome is good.
Click to expand...

+1
i couldn't agree more. most psychedelics, tryptamines imparticular, have presented themselves to me in a dark or frightening manner when something(s) in my life are not in place as they should be. they have a way of showing you the "demons" in your life that need tending to, so that you can fix the things that you are not happy with in yourself. sometimes it's just a matter of identifying and attempting to understand and correct the problem that lies beneath the surface. sometimes its as simple as forgiving yourself or someone else in your life that has altered your sense of being in a neg manner.

its not all about pretty colors and patterns, imo. often ppl who dont see it as any more than that experience difficulty as well. dmt has always affected me based on where i am in my life- in body, mind, and spirit. the first few times i tried it were very unpleasant to me..made me panic, felt dark and evil almost- the dreaded dark feeling of impending doom. but upon further examination, i realized what i was feeling was coming from within me, not a side effect or feel of the trip. once i took the time to examine myself a little further, i realized it was i who was in a dark place, pushing the truth back and eating psychs to escape the truth rather than face it.

once i faced the things about myself i was most put back and unhappy with, the trips seemed to make alot more sense. so i examined further and did what i could to change those things. the darkness i once saw was no longer and instead i began to feel a beautiful loving feeling of being connected to all around me. i have a profound respect for psychs and am eternally grateful for the lessons learned w their help,and that i continue to learn.

id be willing to bet that if you address and explore that negative energy more closely, things will become much more positive, and what was once evil and darkness will be filled with love and light :D

godspeed bro <3
 
^ in reference to DMT, 'breaking through' means reaching a level of experience that takes the user completely out of the normal realm of reality and into "hyperspace".
in my experience, this can include losing all awareness of one's body and surroundings and a total immersion in a foreign world for the peak of the trip (when smoked, this is usually a few minutes).

considerable psychedelic effects can be felt at dosages that do not lead to breakthrough, including visual hallucinations, but as many DMT users report, when you break through, you'll know about it - there is no question.
a DMT breakthrough is one of the most intense experiences imaginable. it is like being fired out of a cannon, winding up on a different planet and meeting strange beings that communicate through strange telepathic languages, or any number of weird variations.

it is so intense that sometimes by the time you get your head around the fact that you took a drug and that you're tripping, it's gone.
it can be scary, it can be beautiful and awe-inspiring. i always get a little hesitant before smoking DMT because i know that nothing i think or try to do to prepare myself for can even come close to bracing me for the intensity of the experience.
"blasting off" really is a good expression - it is like your mind bursts through the top of your skull and rushes into space.
 
It probably is trying to show me something; i guess there is alot of negative things in my life i need to get rid of. Also another thing it could be is the crap that is going on in my subconscious at the moment, most of which i don't have any clue about (like alot people i'm sure).

In another way i think it might be holding back a little to show me i'm not so worthy yet, which seems to make sense because my trips have been mostly negative and with only basic threshold effects (not even close to achieving hyperspace or intense, full on effects). I know i'm a hardhead but i've tried quadruple the dose that most people on here talk about and it still was the same. Guess i got some learning to do.
 
^ Taking this a little off the original topic but if you're taking 4x the dose other people are taking, you're probably either on some medication that interferes (e.g. SSRIs) or your method of smoking it is wrong. DMT needs to be vaporised rather than smoked, how are you going about doing it at the moment?

As for the bad experiences, everyone else here nailed it pretty much so I have nothing to add other than I can agree, as I've experienced the same for similar reasons :)
 
cecil said:
I need help getting past this, because i am not doing this just for fun or to trip, i'm doing it to try and learn something and see the real beauty and love that so many others seem to talk about when doing these drugs.
Click to expand...

Take a break and come back not looking for the beauty and enjoyability of tryptamines. Come back when you can not look to learn something or find cosmic love in the experience. Come back when you are ready to take whatever experience is given to you.

Only then, when you experience a trip with spontaneity and humility, will things go well.

P.S. Smoked tryptamines are not for everyone, maybe you'll just have to settle for a different ROA. Actually it might be worth testing out, can you handle them orally?
 
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I'm not on any medication, so i know that's not it. I have a vaporizer, so i'm pretty sure i'm smoking it right. I gave my vaporizer to a friend to smoke and he was blasted off into hyperspace his very first time so it sounds like the product and they way i've been smoking it has been fine.

I actually went to peru last year to partake in some ayahuasca ceremonies and i didn't even trip the first 3 times taking it. My last ceremony i took 3 full cup fulls (compared to only 1 that everyone else takes) and i finally felt the effects, but it was pretty mild. The only other non-native that was there along with me was tripping so hard he couldn't even stand up or function at the end of the ceremony and ended up shitting his pants later that night, ha (from 1 cup full). The shaman thought i was crazy when i kept asking for more but i guess i'm glad i did.

I will keep working on this, maybe i should just go in without expecting anything and just go along for the ride, no matter what happens.
 
Yeah I've gotten the fear before on DMT. During it there is not much you can do to escape but ride it out. But if you want to keep using it I would suggest using it outside on a really nice day either laying in a field, back yard, or sitting in a lawn chair. I've never even felt remotely uncomfortable or dark when doing it outside. Just remember to wear your shades as it may hurt your eyes.
 
You can also try smoking it while on MDMA towards the back end of a nice roll. If you are are on the MDMA and all euphoric, I doubt you will even be thinking about your potential fears about what you are going to see and it will be a nice way to go into your trip.
 
Yeah I've been thinking about heading up to a nice stream where I go fishing and laying back against a tree with nobody around in the forest for miles and letting go with some deemsters. Probably would be pretty serene. Nothing could happen to you up there accept maybe some ants crawl on you. lol
 
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