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DMT - first time - Goodbye body, hello... wtf?

E

Epicurus

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 11, 2007
Messages
38
Location
Pacific Northwest
I was posting on another site, I thought I'd post the progression of my night here as well. It may be useful to people who think they are ready to smoke DMT.. well don't mess around with this stuff. I wrote most of this stuff as soon as I was physically able to. Please let me know if I need to edit out the profanity- but the profanity was my instant response.
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Jesus... I just smoked some DMT for the first time. Scared the shit out of me. It feels like I burned my mouth- is that normal? It feels like I sucked molten plastic onto my lips and tongue. Is it supposed to feel this way? Fuck, I've tripped a lot but that was unlike anything I've ever done... please someone who has done this stuff talk to me- I would just feel better if someone who knew about this stuff would talk to me... thanks.

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edit... sorry, I was still freaking out from what I experienced. The burned feeling is subsiding.. I just realized like 20 minutes passed but it seemed like 2. Now my question is- is my smoking technique the reason that I felt like I just got hot plastic in my mouth? I freebased the dmt, but I don't think any of the hot liquid got into my mouth. What I experienced was definitely not a breakthrough, but the CEV were unlike anything I've ever experienced. There was something trying to talk to me but it was so weird... I couldn't understand it and I was so afraid. When I opened my eyes the visuals were like a +3-+4 shroom trip, but the cevs and the sounds I heard-- aghhh! What is that stuff? Is that in my fucking brain? It sure as fuck doesn't seem like it... is this all normal?

My most important question is- should I do it again? Is it okay to smoke right after you've already tripped? I want to go back to try to communicate better with whatever that stuff was- is this safe? I don't have a 0.001 scale so I am just eyeballing amounts. I started with a small amount, and it scared the crap out of me, so I only took one hit.

I got shroom like visuals, so I loaded the pipe again with a slightly larger amount, took a hit, exhaled, took a hit, exhaled, took a hit, and held. Crazy.. it was kind of like a world of light, but it wasn't really light- the entities weren't aliens, but they spoke an alien language that I couldn't quite understand, it was sort of like a space world, like being inside a crazy alien computer- I can't fucking describe it, but I know that when I opened my eyes I knew I was still on earth even though I could barely feel my body... this must have been a sub breakthrough trip. I feel like I am ready to breakthrough- will I have a big tolerance if I smoke again right away? I want to go back! AGGHHHHH!

Seriously though... very interesting stuff... I am pretty sure that world can't be inside my brain because it is utterly unlike anything I have ever seen in my life.

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mm... how could I have sucked boiling liquid in? I must have... I hope this stuff isn't that impure- it is off white- maybe a hint of pink in it. It is a freebase powder.

What did I get? Um a glimpse, perhaps a universal frequency? I wasn't there long enough to figure it out which is why I want to go back.

Maybe I should angle the pipe downward so I can't suck the liquid in? I had a buddy make it for me and it has a pretty deep reservoir for the boiling liquid, so I don't know if that was it. I feel calm now, but I am very intrigued and I want to go back.

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Okay in fifteen minutes I am going to redose. I have no doubt that I am ready to breakthrough from what I have experienced so far. I will load it even fuller and toke until I can toke no more. God this is scary but I know I have to go there- I have to know... I'll report back before I go to bed.

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shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck good lord if that wasn't breaking through... i don't know what is. I was writing it down but I lost my pen somehow so i will write here to remember it. THIS IS A POWERFUL FUCKING CHEMICAL DO NOT FUCK WITH IT.

Wow... okay... calming myself down... calming myself down. Yes, that was a breakthrough. I was pretty sure I was dead. The last thing I remember is wretching, vomiting, before I completely well, not lost consciousness, but moved into an entirely different kind of consciousness. I am not going to cop out and say- it's indescribable. It is not indescribable. It's perfectly describable. There were no aliens, but I suppose it was hyperspace. I was definitely alone there, but not alone. Plugged into the universe, into the deepest recesses of the mind... no one to guide me, just lost, there was color at first, like the wildest visuals you can ever imagine times 10000000000. Then it was just beyond color, I was completely out of my body. I wanted to know how deep the rabbit hole goes- I got my fucking answer. The rabbit hole goes a lot deeper than I can handle. This shit is powerful. The first sign that I had a body was the fact that I was vomiting everywhere.. and that blood was gushing out of my nostrils. I remember thinking, what the fuck is this??? and i had my fingers in my nostrils trying to figure out what that shit was. It was more like an alien pig snout- that stuff is powerful beyond belief... the blood kept gushing out on my fingers, though i didn't realize i had fingers except my nostrils could feel them- the buzzing, it was talking, noise- the world is constructed using our five senses, and all five of those senses were ripped away in a matter of seconds and whatever is me was gone- my perception was plugged into something else... AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Well, what can I say, that must have been a breakthrough... not aliens, but energy, extra sensory perception... now there is no going back, i am going to be a fucking hippy forever because science, everything I have been taught is OBVIOUSLY BULLSHIT. Well, it's true, but it's like the perception of an ant, who thinks it knows what the world is because it knows the anthill and immediate surroundings. wowww.....
well.. god damn, there is no way that was in my brain- if that was in my brain I would've gotten some incling of it beyond my fucking college kid feeling of smug confidence from my LSD experience- thinking I knew what the beyond is. LSD in NO WAY prepared me for this... go there, everyone should go there... but there is no coming back...

when I got the presence of mind to start writing again, i realized there was no vomit or blood... I guess the problem is that our language can describe everything that the five senses can observe, but there are no words in our five sense language to describe that which happens beyond those senses. I've seen wild things on LSD and mushrooms, but they are still able to be described by the five senses- hallucinations are still based on the real world(well, the human world) you may hallucinate that time slows, warps, sound may seem more aparent, touch more sensitive, but that place, obliterates everything. It is light without light, sound without sound, no touch at all... bah. You get the idea.

Anyway, I loaded a huge amount into the pipe. I smoked it and I took 3 huge tokes... I could barely move, I almost fell over, but I managed somehow to load another huge pile of the powder into the pipe, though I spilled about 1/3 of it because my vision was falling apart... i had a candle to heat it up- i doubt i could've used a lighter- and i took one more toke, held it, my vision fell apart, but i managed to take one more huge toke, and then i remember vomiting, then i went there, WHOA! and then I remember vomiting and bleeding again... where I went is a blur but I tried to describe it above. When I became conscious of my surroundings again I was having super heady shroom like visuals. I remember this now- light definitely affected what i was seeing. I didn't know if my eyes were opened or closed, but whatever that place was, it changed when i moved my hands in front of my eyes. I barely remember this, but my hands definitely affected it. I don't know how I know but i am sure i was clutching my head in my hands and the light affected it... that's all i can say for now...8o
 
yeah.. thanks for the words of advice... the other side is beyond weird. Is that feeling of nausea and imaginary vomiting normal? I am still kind of in shock... i think even when I was tripping so hard I couldn't see my hand in front of my face- if I'd known I had a hand, I still was thinking somewhere deep inside- is this what it's supposed to be? When I can out of it it seemed like a physically very unpleasant experience. I felt fine after 20 minutes, but I think I want to do it with a sitter next time so I can find out what happens to me physically.
 
can someone please help me with this stuff though? I am reflecting on my experience trying to figure it out- there may have been a slight negative edge to what happened- maybe all of the pain associated with dying and being born- the experience has changed me, but it was so hard that I am almost afraid to go back.

I really want to know if these things are normal(sensation of vomiting, wretching my soul out) or if this stuff, which is by the way the synthetic N,N, DMT freebase that's out, is bad? I'm wondering maybe if what I got was 5 meo dmt, because there seems to be an edge to it that is a little too insane. I am almost leaning towards thinking that this experience was destructive in some way, though it taught me a lot.. nothing is really destroyed, but I am left feeling rattled... I am still scared from what I saw and now I am at T+ 12 hours.

I thinking my smoking technique might be off because just thinking about smoking it makes me nauseous... the smoke is horrible, but then the sensation of vomiting that wasn't really vomiting? wtf... I'm just hoping someone with some experience can step in and say that I am doing this right... my body truly was ripped apart. Should I keep smoking this stuff the way I am, should I get different stuff, should i smoke it a different way? Is there a way to reduce the amount of scalding liquid I get in my mouth? damn, maybe I just need to do this with a sitter in the future. My lungs hurt a little bit today- is that normal?
 
I'm not sure what sort of pipe your using, but if you're sucking in liquid DMT, you need to seriously revamp your smoking method. What works best for me is taking a small water pipe, placing a glass screen in the bottom, followed by a layer of oregano, a shitload of DMT, and another smaller layer of oregano. When you start hitting it, slowly bring the flame near the top layer until the DMT melts into both layers. Continue to bring the flame down, close to the DMT, until it starts sizzling...maybe bring the flame on it briefly but DO NOT roast it. It takes some practice but good technique is KEY. Hold for at least 10 seconds. Stay entirely focused on taking the next hit and nothing else. Do not pay attention to the effects or your fear. Just keep hitting it until you have no idea what you're doing.

Your report does have a ring of 5-meo to it, but DMT in it's own right can be a bit much. Set and setting are very important. I would at least get the fuck outside and preferably away from civilization. Being indoors or around anything distracting, noisy, or ugly can lessen the potential for the experience.

I have had purging experiences from DMT but there was never any blood - it was a deep spiritual purge of all the bad mojo/negativity I'd felt throughout my entire life.

I'd try to chill out a bit. DMT isn't bad. It's a medicine and needs to be approached as such or it'll kick your ass.

I too do not believe that this drug causes hallucinations by disrupting normal thought patters. The effect DMT has on our consicousness is clearly encoded into our DNA. Personally I believe that DMT is what humanity has been searching for; it's a key to our soul which connects us with the entire universe (which has dimensions and expanses far beyond what science has any fucking clue about) and God.

What's starting about DMT is how profoundly REAL it is. Nothing you can imagine or expect could ever prepare you for a breakthrough. It's like "throwing yourself on a psychedelic grenade".

I once had a trip where everything that was 'me' and 'reality' was shattered to utter annihilation. I totally lost ANY sense of self. There was no thinking or anything of earthly reality. Everything was an expanse of eternal infinite awarness, of beauty, love, peace, bliss, and divinity of an intensity that I can only compare to a billion atomic bombs simultaneously detonating. The most profound thing-no-thing there could ever possibly be. As I became aware of my body again I was thrust into a 5-minute full body orgasm which left me rollling around in my yard howling in bewilderment beyond control. I was fucking terrified - everything I'd ever thought about reality and myself had been crushed. Still tripping I staggered to a phone immediatley, I had to talk to someone aboout what had happened to me but...hahaha...like anyone could ever even begin to understand. It was utterly familiar, as if it was where I came from and where I was going; that somehow everything is ultimately 'It'. All I can say is that if everyone had that same experience the world would be radically different. Honestly I'm glad I don't remember very much of 'that'. I would go into the woods and think about it until I died. There would be no point in living. The truth about life, existance, and God is, for one thing very real; there absolutely is an ultimate truth, and is infinitely deeper than anyone fucking knows.

Beware man. DMT can make it hard to relate to other people. 'Normal' reality is so insignificant to where DMT takes you; it's more like the DMT world is the real existance and this life is some ride at an amusement park, a dream turning into a nightmare, wehre we've forgotten that we are fucking unlimited and that there is nothing to be afraid of because we always return to that 'place'.

I think the stuff will catch on BIG TIME and there will be a huge and perhaps even worldwide revolution in part because of DMT.
 
thanks cilosyb... you basically just put words to what I am feeling. I have tried to go back to DMT space- I have only taken small doses, but I was able to encounter faintly a feminine presence(not at all human though) that seemed to communicate nonverbally to me that the reason my last trip was so confusing was that I was not ready. I was basically ripped out of my body, my soul being born like a premature baby, and flung violently back. The pipe I am using is a custom made meth-pipe style freebase pipe. I am thinking I am going to try "the machine" I have read about. What I experienced on my "breakthrough" trip (I no longer believe it was a breakthrough due to further reflection, because I didn't cooperate with the dimension I was thrust into) was so confusing and profound that it has changed the way I view this reality deeply.

I know what you mean about trying to talk to people- people just stare at me when I try to describe an experience that happened without the use of my five senses. So I've pretty much given up- but it's good to have a place like BL to be able to talk about this stuff. The anxiety builds every time I think about DMT but I know that I have to go back. The following low level experiences helped me put the heavy trip into perspective- but yes, I'd say everything I felt I knew-even after many high level trips on other drugs- was essentially crushed by the incredible WEIRDNESS and beauty of the universe. Each time I go back, things make a little more sense because I have more and more context to put them in...

I am more calm now, but the advice to look at it as a medicine is good... I will try again soon with a more open attitude like this and hope that I will be more able to cope with that dimension... and report back.
Thanks again!
 
I just tried this stuff for the first time last night.
Not much introspective[I barely closed my eyes] because of all the intense visuals I was getting.

GREAT STUFF.
 
the throat burn is pretty normal, usually happens from any sizable hit of DMT.

Are things coming into order for you, Epicurus? Its been 2 weeks since my last high dose DMT trip and things are seeming like they are coming into order for moi.
 
yeah, it's all starting to make a little more sense. Of course, now all the normal people think I'm crazy but I've introduced like 14 people to DMT so now some people know that I'm not totally nuts. I have just given up trying to articulate it. Now I just sound like a new age/hippy. I talk about waves and energy and forces and spirit and other dimensions a lot more than I ever did before... I used to think all that was rubbish. Maybe it still is, but if my still believing in this stuff is me being fried, I like being fried and don't want to go back.
 
BAHAHA DMT. Remeber you dont smoke dmt, dmt smokes you.

Last time i smoked dmt my wall turned into a train which hit me split me into infinity i realised there were even 2d versions of myself in other realitys existing exactly like this 3d one we experience and other infinate realitys we co exist in then all i could say was "i need to get safe" and hugged the arm of the couch.

fucken reality I cant remeber now many times ive died now
 
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