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'Dirty' feeling after MDMA

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laurenslv

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 1, 2012
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Ive decided to lay off the MDMA for a while. I still got the magic and love the feeling though, but the days after I take MDMA I always start thinking about the roll and then I get kinda emberassed about the things i've done/said. I always get really loose on E and i'm normally not so extroverted so I unleash the beast when rolling haha.
Does anybody else feel kinda 'dirty' like me? Dunno how else to describe it
 
Mostly 150-250mg but last time I think I took nearly 400mg (way too much, felt depressed for weeks).
 
How often are you taking it?
That's quite a dose.

The reason I am asking you this, is that maybe you are suffering from after effects (like you mention the comedown was bad) So if you are suffering from anxiety and depression from overuse, it will make you feel 'dirty' or embarrassed about what you done whilst on mdma.

You shouldn't be depressed for weeks after using mdma, that is an instant 'red flag' to me.
 
Well, I've taken MDMA 7 times since decembre 2nd (that was my first time, 120mg). The 2nd time was decembre 23rd (240mg) and the 3rd time on new years eve (120mg). Way too much to take it 3 times in one month but I figured I could get away with it cause it were my first 3 times. The times after that I always rolled every month or every 5/6 weeks.

Yeah I know its a red flag because usually my hangovers last only 3-5 days but I felt like absolute shit for 2 weeks after my last roll, thats also why I don't wanna roll for a while. I know my doses are kinda high but once i'm rolling I always take more. I can also handle it pretty well although I dont weigh much (65 kilos, 143 lbs), I always feel great but i'm not gurning my face off like some of my friends. People usually don't even know i'm rolling because I have super dark eyes.

I remember one time though I only took like 80-90 mg. I didn't expect to feel it but I actually felt it and had a great time on such a low dose. I'm gonna try and keep my dose down in the future.
 
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Well, actually not so much. I go to a rave probably once in a month or a bit more but im not REALLY that much into the music like some of my friends are. I can enjoy some electronic music like goa, electro and especially breakcore/jungle from time to time but when i'm at home I mostly listen to punkrock. I organize a jungle/breakcore/raggatek event with 11 other people every 6 months but I don't meddle as much in picking the DJ's, i'm more there for the other stuff (decoration, frying food at our rave, booze, etc :D).
 
I go to a rave probably once in a month
Click to expand...

That's how often I used to go, and I used to define myself as a Raver.

I just wondered, as much as I love the rave scene, i do not like the fact that many people 'get on it' , take ecstasy and other drugs too frequently just for the sake of attending raves and staying up all night. That's now how it was meant to be. Don't get me wrong, a Rave is the best place (or a festival) for mdma for myself, but I just dont like the 'recruitment' or the 'encouragement' to keep attending these raves and taking more and more chems.

As for yourself, you need to slow down on the mdma. Everyone is different, everyone's brain and body's mileage varies slightly, or by a lot. Some people might be able to handle what you have been doing for longer than yourself without having these negative side effects, but I know i couldnt.

I think the depression, the anxiety etc are all coping mechanisms of our brain, telling us that there is Something wrong.

I highly recommend you obey the 30 day (minimum) 60 day (ideally) 90 day (Best amount of time to wait , but it is a long time ill admit, and ive not gone that far myself as of yet but i will) should you wish to continue using mdma but not suffer the nasty side effects.

Besides, the longer you wait, the more truly euphoric and magical the experience is. MDMA is the first drug i ever took and some of the experiences ive had on it, in terms of Euphoria and Empathy i doubt that i could beat them with any other drug.

Once you learn to respect chemicals such as mdma, the Danger from use of them drops dramatically.

Stay Safe,
P.L.U.R
 
Thanks a lot for your help sam :)

Yeah I guess you're right about the rave scene. When I go to a rave here in belgium I see 9/10 people are on drugs and not a lot are there to solely enjoy the music.. Thats may also be why I feel 'dirty' after a rave. A lot of people go to a rave and take a shitload of drugs like a bunch of wild animals. Always a great atmosphere there though, but when the rave is over i'm sure a lot of them go home and listen to their rock music.

Maybe not the best comparison but I see a lot of people going to hardcore shows to beat and kick the shit out of other people while I go there to have as much fun as I can, sober. Bit hypocritical of me but I think the rave scene lacks those kind of people.
 
When i used to head out to a rave (i dont go raving anymore really)

Id usually head out with a capsule of mdma (100mg) and about 700mg of ketamine.

When I arrived at the rave, sure id have like 2 bumps of K, but id spend a good 2 hours running about and chatting to people, then at about midnight or 1am drop my capsule, enjoy that for 4 hours, then do some more k then head off home about 6/7am

The main reason why i 'got in it' in the first place, is because i loved the music and the lights and the whole idea of a rave, but im not very nocturnal so i just wanted to stay awake. It all progressed from there lol.
 
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