Did you relapse your first time trying to quit?

[phatass]

I quit codeine 600mg/day and relapsed 4 times before moving on to IV morphine and heroin... now on MMT 45mg

 

[papa]

that's good advice. but let's take it a step further and ask this question: assuming you have those issues addressed (or even if you don't) why would you want to be a "responsible heroin user"?

there's a simple answer to this. Its because I like the way heroin makes me feel.

 

[PillPoppingAnimal]

akom police...i know, the hole...sub clean shit...i hvae friends who say...

friend-"im clean"
me:"thats good man, did u use anything to taper off."
friend-"im on suboxone that i bought."

dont buy suboxone to fucking quite unless u have a doctor and a regimen.

its like people think suboxone is sum opiate myrical , its just a long-acting opiate, and a strong one too.

 

[brutus]

I honestly cannot count how many times I have relapsed while trying to quit seriously. It kinda depresses me.

 

[DubCity23]

Thanks for the help guys... nice post akomplice. You hit the nail on the head i needed an answer for the question is my outlook right now suppose to be that im never going to get faded once again in my life? That outlook kinda scared me .. seeing as it is my favorite thing to do in the whole world and it ran my life and i was obcsessed with it. But the one day at a time thing is a good approach.

My first two days on subs i felt great but then i became allergic to my medicine and the rest of the week was quite hell for me and the thoughts crossed my mind... well i felt so much better when i was getting high.

I haven't taken any sub today ... the thought of using tomorrow night keeps crossing my mind over and over again. Well hopefully i don't stumble across 70 dollars and i'll be good to go.

 

[burn out]

there's a simple answer to this. Its because I like the way heroin makes me feel.

it's not that simple. of course you like the way it makes you feel, that's why you got addicted in the first place. what i'm saying is that the belief an addict has that there are actually benefits to using in moderation as opposed to just quitting may be an illusion.

in other words heroin makes the user feel "too good" and thus the natural reaction to this feeling is to want more of it. by forcing himself to use it in moderation, the addict must deny himself the satisfaction of this wanting he has created, which is in itself unpleasant.

see, i think we're operating under the questionable assumption that using heroin in moderation actually has benefits and makes your life better. the pleasure it causes gets largely canceled out by the displeasure of continually returning to the seemingly dull and dreariness of life without it, plus the anxiety and effort of will that must be expended for an addict to continue to use in moderation. what i'm saying is that it's like a tease. it's a taste of heaven but then it gets taken away long before you feel truly satisfied. if you felt satisfied, you would never have gotten addicted in the first place.

so i think it should be examined whether using heroin "responsibly" or "in moderation" actually has any significant advantages. and if it doesn't, then why even bother with it? it's only risk and no benefit. remember, the reason people get addicted in the first place is because of the illusion that there is benefit.

 

[phr]

why would you want to be a "responsible heroin user"?

Because it could enhance a lot of things in life that would otherwise be much duller. Same reason why a person would want to drink a few beers while watching the game...

 

[Jabberwocky]

i sure have and still do continue to fuck up when i try to "quit". i'm comfortable enough with my current usage pattern for the occasional slip when i know i've chosen to get high when i shouldn't have.

once school starts in the beginning of march it shall be a different story.

 

[AnonAbuser]

akom police...i know, the hole...sub clean shit...i hvae friends who say...

friend-"im clean"
me:"thats good man, did u use anything to taper off."
friend-"im on suboxone that i bought."

dont buy suboxone to fucking quite unless u have a doctor and a regimen.

its like people think suboxone is sum opiate myrical , its just a long-acting opiate, and a strong one too.

A strong one? It's not even a full opiate agonist. If it was so strong doctors wouldn't be throwing out 8mg pills like it's their job.

Telling someone not to buy suboxone unless they have a doctor is like telling someone not to buy OC's unless they have a doctor.

And why does the doctor have to set the regimen? If someone wants to fuck up and not taper they are going to do it regardless of if they set the taper or the doctor did.

 

[runglo59]

Relapse opiates

I would say your tolerance has changed anywhere from little to none. (It also matters how much dope you were using and how much suboxone you have been taking.) A week isn't all that much, but after months or more on bupe (especially a low dose), you will be surprised how low your tolerance does drop. Try not to use that as an excuse to get high, because its cheaper now.

My best recommendation, from a junkie to a junkie: ride it out (if you can). Go for a walk, read a book, go to the gym, call a friend, build a sandcastle, etc. You will be pleasantly surprised what happens when you keep your mind busy. Four hours will pass and you'll realize that "heroin" hasn't crossed your mind once since you were keeping it busy and thinking positively.

As someone mentioned in a thread yesterday, its all just mind over matter

*************************************************************
I took Norco 10's back in 2001 to 2005 and quite using suboxone for about 1 year, then I had to have knee surgery, then in 2008 knee replacement, back prior to 2005, I was up to almost 30 norco a day, then I went on suboxone and got clean (after 2 to 3 weeks taking 1 or 2 8mg a day), now, following all the knee surgery crap/knee replacement (yeah, I am 49, but was a marathon, 5K, 10K, etc runner and just destroyed my right knee, have arthritis, lupus and fibromyalgia too) - now I am up to 10 norco a day, but when I cant get any, through my dr, internet, friends, etc, there is about 7 to 10 days a month when I use Suboxone to get me by. My question is, (1), the sub I have went out of date about 7 months ago, I am still using it, and its still working, but is it still ok to take and (2) What does it do to me to constantly switch back and forth like that?
I really want off of them, but in a way I don't because I still have pain, pain management isn't an option as I went once and they "UNDER" dosed me and I quit and now another pain management center won't take me. Some rule in Georgia (US). I do still hurt, and I dont' take more than 10 a day and I am ok. I wish I could find a dr. that would just rx 10 a day for me and let me live my life pain free. Is anyone out there that feels the same as me?
I looked up to inject or snort the norco to get it to last longer, but from the posts I see, it isn't advisable. I can't get ANY pain relief from the suboxone, it just helps me through the time that I cant get any norco.

 

[Oxyrisin2]

I sure did, Infact I went to inpatient twice..
I no longer take the shit but I do Take my Oxys and Norco's daily.. I've relapsed twice in the last last year but only for a day..
I found that I'm just sick of the shit and only stick to my script for my Chronic conditions..
So if you really want to stop I know you can do it.. Good luck

 

[will66]

yes I relapsed after "seriously" quiting. I was clean 6 months and relapsed and have been relapsing in 3 day binges every week for the past month and a half 8) I hate going to NA meetings and hearing people say "once I came into the rooms I never relapsed and stayed clean". Kudos to them for having some strong willpower but man do I feel irritated (at myself of course).

 

[cdorriv]

Brother man I will tell you that I have been using Opiates for about 11 years now and I am 29
I have started using heroin for about a year now as well
I went to my 1st recovery meeting back in 04 and have sincerly given AA alot of shots (no pun intended)
It is an awesome deal for people like me..it gave me hope and serenity and just an overall GREAT life!!! I have had 1 year completely sober from everything on 2 different occasions and I have had a couple of 7 or 8 months of sobriety as well
Opiates are one of the hardest things to kick IMO
Im not that guy who can just go out and stop CT on my own
If you genuinly want to stop for good I suggest that you find an AA group, yes AA, and start working the steps as I have found that to be of great help!!
I would get on my knees in the morning and at night and ask God (or whomever) to help you stay sober and then thank him at night for staying sober and just being alive in general
I would get a sponser and call him daily
I would go to meetings everyday for atleast the 1st 90 days or so if not more (especially if you are an opiate junkie like me)
I would get a "Big Book" and read 2 pages every night
Then I would not use for that day...just that day as thats all we have

My hat is off to you if you really want to stop as I promise you that your life will get SO much better...like seriously crazy better

I still use now but am starting to go back to meetings. I actually have alot to lose now

So good luck my man ...you can do it if you want

If you need anything dont hesitate to PM me or ask any of your other Bluelighters as I am sure that they will point you in the right direction

And the answer is NO...you cannot just take a shot of H every now and then
Thats if you are like me
Normal people dont take a shot of tar every once in awhile
They might take a few tokes off a joint or something maybe take a valium once in a blue moon
But I have never met a normal person just say that they would like to inject Heroin for the fun of it
Thats is you are anything like me my friend

I hope this is of some help to you broseph

Cheers

CD4

 

[absolutlyamazing]

i relapsed several times before getting clean. the last time i detoxed was cold turkey and it sucked. when i was on suboxone i would usually just abuse it anyways. but it was a life saver and allowed me to sleep normally and feel normal.

 

[wakeborder556]

I did a bunch of times but each time i tried i went a little bit longer. keep strong.

 

[mrs_mia_wallace]

with meth I was clean for a good while before I relapsed the first time... about six months before I got back into using again. my mother watched me like a hawk and somehow figured out exactly who i knew on drugs and did everything she could to make it impossible for me to not be clean (drug testing me, watching me in my room, checking to make sure i was sleeping, driving and picking me from everywhere, grounded every weekend for the first three months...) but once she started to relax a bit it was relapse time pretty instantaneously. since then i've had a bunch of relapses and periods of being clean, it's sort of a never ending cycle.
with heroin i relapsed a bunch in a three weeks period but eventually had to give in and go to rehab (and have been clean since) because my life was in tatters and i couldn't function enough to even keep up the habit (no money, no car, got kicked out of my apartment, parents wouldn't speak to me, about to lose my job)... going through the process of getting clean (the physical withdrawls and the months of depression that followed for me) sort of put me off jumping back into using immediately... now all my friends that were on H are clean and i think about using sometimes but something always holds me back.

 

[PillPoppingAnimal]

A strong one? It's not even a full opiate agonist. If it was so strong doctors wouldn't be throwing out 8mg pills like it's their job.

Telling someone not to buy suboxone unless they have a doctor is like telling someone not to buy OC's unless they have a doctor.

And why does the doctor have to set the regimen? If someone wants to fuck up and not taper they are going to do it regardless of if they set the taper or the doctor did.

thats very untrue....

sub is meant to be weaned off of. you take sub, say 8mgs a day for a few weeks and u stop cold turkey, you're gonna be in for some horrible WDs.

so telling someone not to get sub without a doctor and/or a regimen would be very smart.

 

[Akomplice]

Brother man I will tell you that I have been using Opiates for about 11 years now and I am 29
I have started using heroin for about a year now as well
I went to my 1st recovery meeting back in 04 and have sincerly given AA alot of shots (no pun intended)
It is an awesome deal for people like me..it gave me hope and serenity and just an overall GREAT life!!! I have had 1 year completely sober from everything on 2 different occasions and I have had a couple of 7 or 8 months of sobriety as well
Opiates are one of the hardest things to kick IMO
Im not that guy who can just go out and stop CT on my own
If you genuinly want to stop for good I suggest that you find an AA group, yes AA, and start working the steps as I have found that to be of great help!!
I would get on my knees in the morning and at night and ask God (or whomever) to help you stay sober and then thank him at night for staying sober and just being alive in general
I would get a sponser and call him daily
I would go to meetings everyday for atleast the 1st 90 days or so if not more (especially if you are an opiate junkie like me)
I would get a "Big Book" and read 2 pages every night
Then I would not use for that day...just that day as thats all we have

My hat is off to you if you really want to stop as I promise you that your life will get SO much better...like seriously crazy better

I still use now but am starting to go back to meetings. I actually have alot to lose now

So good luck my man ...you can do it if you want

If you need anything dont hesitate to PM me or ask any of your other Bluelighters as I am sure that they will point you in the right direction

And the answer is NO...you cannot just take a shot of H every now and then
Thats if you are like me
Normal people dont take a shot of tar every once in awhile
They might take a few tokes off a joint or something maybe take a valium once in a blue moon
But I have never met a normal person just say that they would like to inject Heroin for the fun of it
Thats is you are anything like me my friend

I hope this is of some help to you broseph

Cheers

CD4

I'm sorry to be crass but, why are you on this site?

Would the people at your meetings go on a site dedicated to drug use? Even if it is harm reduction.

That simply doesn't make any sense.

Coming on here and preaching 12 steps is fine, if you believe it. That still doesn't answer why you're here in the first place.


-Akomplice

 

[Akomplice]

A strong one? It's not even a full opiate agonist. If it was so strong doctors wouldn't be throwing out 8mg pills like it's their job.

Telling someone not to buy suboxone unless they have a doctor is like telling someone not to buy OC's unless they have a doctor.

And why does the doctor have to set the regimen? If someone wants to fuck up and not taper they are going to do it regardless of if they set the taper or the doctor did.

What the fuck are you talking about?

They give 8mgs pills to people with heavy tolerances, and I've seen people get fucked up off of 4-8mgs with a tolerance.

Not strong? It's 8mgs, try taking 8mgs of morphine see how high that gets you. Or 8mgs of oxycodone. Try taking 8mgs of hydromorphone orally. Try taking 8mgs of anything and see if it staves off your w/d.. (NO I DON't MEAN "ANYTHING", FENT AND IT'S ANALOGS Don't count.) I'm talking realistically here.

You want to know why it's not a full agonist? Cause it's fucking strong. Have you ever IV'd bupe? I'm guessing not. The naloxone is in there to deter abuse. Because it's a medication for drug addicts, hello?


It is the doctors fucking job to give out pills lol...


No telling someone not to buy suboxone to quit is like telling someone not to but heroin to quit. Addicts can't taper alone. Which is what the doctor is for.

You're extremely uneducated about this subject. I'd hate to see what else you're wrong about.

Please don't try to correct people when you don't know shit.


I just want everyone to know, being on suboxone for a year does not mean you were clean for a year. It means you were addicted to suboxone for a year. Sorry to break it to you. It's also extremely unethical for a sub doctor to keep you on suboxone for a year or more. That's just so they can make money by getting you hooked on suboxone.

I don't give a fuck what drug you use or how much of it you use, no one needs to detox or taper for that long.

The 21 day methadone program is an example of the right amount of time.. That works, being on methadone for 3 years, is not clean. Granted, it has saved many peoples lives and totally changed people for the better. It isn't clean, or sober at all.

Just because you're not using a needle anymore doesn't make you clean. I've taken methadone, it fucks you up. If you say otherwise you're lying, all you have to do is double your dose.

That said, this was not meant as an attack to the people on MMT. BECAUSE, you guys are doing the best thing. MMT is for people that can't stop, they need opiates to function. I'm positive you're better off on MMT than you were on junk. So you should be proud of yourselves, but again. You're not clean. You're on MMT cause you can't or don't want to get clean.

There's nothing wrong with that at all, but there is something wrong with saying you've been clean for X years but you're on sub or 'Done.
That's a lie.



-Akomplice

 

[PureLife]

I relapsed many times before I started getting long stretches of clean time. i learned from each relapse, what triggered it, why I did it etc. Now i no longer relapse, because I've taught myself how to identify it.