ĐmantuNJofra
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
- Messages
- 458
9 am cold -2C morning here, but mist through window looks beautiful
9:30 am cofee black turkish way 2 cups equivalent to 200mg caffeine app
10:00am finally can go to toilette cause of bupe and pregabs constipation but putting sugar to coffee always helps
10:30am smoked what last of little weed I had and took two small 10mg orange pills generic dextroamphetamine sulphate( they were tested now in Split institute long story)
but were legit. Guy said before he tested those that are not better than Amfexa or Tentin and I don't agree as I tried those and were rather very weak.
11:30am took a while to came up, my scalp is tingling which is a sign always that stim type amphetamine starting to work and a little BP spike as it is always the case
with me like my slight pressure in my ears but nothing unconfortably
12:00 tried to finish the book and writing research on psychiatric care in ZG four main hospitals as I in years before visited therapists in all of them
just to be able to talk with people that are inside.
12:05-13:00 my mind wonders staring at the computer, like I can't write but was feeling good, but not good to be sitting at the comp, so I went into city, as soon
as I started dressing myself and walking to a car outside was feeling like flying so I stoped and lit a cigarette outside in my garden nwm it was freezing
The smoke from cig is more dense as breathing out alone produce steam/fume It's hard to translate literal to english but you know what I mean, enjoyed it and
was talking to my older neighbor whom we call a patrol officer( he wasn't any kind of officer just is in retirement and he always want to know everything)
But I just asked him and he was to boring to listen so I politely entered in my car and bye bye
for me driving is like walking I was a Taxi driver in 2021 and was working driving a van so:
(Driving while on influence of stimulants and pregabalin no matter if you feel confident is not recommended and avoid it at all cost)
13:30 I am in the city feeling sharp and content so I went through all my tasks and obligations in couple parts of town in just an hour and got it done.
14:45 time to score some weed and while I was driving I was thinking how great is that I smoke weed and it helped me lower my meds cause I was smoking it
from 2008. to 2011. almost every day and later I always got panic attack or just highten anxiety, but it makes sense cause I was taking psylocibin mushrooms
dozen times in last two years and one time acid and when I isolated myself from all those who were toxic and generaly I alieneted other people except my
daughter. at the times being alone was depressing but it showed me how to deal with things alone and now weed makes my mind race with thoughts but like when I
relax and breathe I can extract the meaning of some, what I wanna say is I tend to get more creative as opposed to anxiety.
16:30 got home and brew more coffee as I'm a caffeine junkie with 5mg sublingual dextroamphetamine, 300mg pregabalin and put my clothes
in my washing machine and was cleaning while singing.
17:30 my scalp is numb again and my stomach is almost like shrinking( similar when MDMA floods the brain with serotonin and letting know the stomach that is satisfied
and doesn't need any food) also that last sentence is hard to translate literal from Croatian. sorry
17:45 I wrote some great shit in 15 minutes and pregabalin now adds to the overall feeling, again 5 minutes or so I was in my head looking through my window how wind
bends everything except my pine which is enormous now and I told my father that we need to cut it down cause it's like 10 meters high and already is pinching the
transmission line electric wire.
18:00 I reckon I ate nada so I went to nearby mall and bought some food mostly proteins, the best food on stims I red that somewhere which just confirmed my
desire to proteins before.
18:30 got home and prepared my zinc, l-tyrosine with the proteins, have mag bisglycinate but didn't want to take it with pregabalin at least while pregabs wore off.
But I needed to roll one light-joint and that gave me better apettite not that I couldn't eat but it's better when hunger is there.
19:00 I'm now writing, at the same time printing research papers and reading from them. Like I'm a woman and can multitask- this is still spoken here like it's set in stone
21:00 time went by fast and dexies effects are now fading but there is no crash like with Concerta which is also mild but sometimes weird and depressing.
22:00 rolled two more small joints and I have all networks on my disposal and I watched The Last of Us new HBO show and then my ex-wife called crying
I was wtf Is everything ok' with baby girl, now she remembered our Love and she still loves me, I was like: baby you need to be consistent and guide yourself with
heart if you are that miserable with your man now, whom she picked just to not be alone and because the guy has money and is never home but he could be, but some
people are scared of their fathers in 40s here still.
I said look he is not bad guy and we are good better than we were in last year of our relationship and just because I found girl who is in early 20s and looks
frickin great and she is now jelous.
I went with saying that this is just a good sex nothing more and she bursted in tears I was like OK. my doors will always be open for you just calm down.
I wrote this cause I'm usually apathetic to talking emotions with her or her changes in opinions like she pretends that she never said anything the other day or night.
00:00 I'm going to sleep and tomorrow will be trying modafinil in the morning with smaller two dosages of dex 5mg, with my 1mg buprenorphine and pregabalin.
Dextroamphetamine is the best ADD med that I tried so far
9:30 am cofee black turkish way 2 cups equivalent to 200mg caffeine app
10:00am finally can go to toilette cause of bupe and pregabs constipation but putting sugar to coffee always helps
10:30am smoked what last of little weed I had and took two small 10mg orange pills generic dextroamphetamine sulphate( they were tested now in Split institute long story)
but were legit. Guy said before he tested those that are not better than Amfexa or Tentin and I don't agree as I tried those and were rather very weak.
11:30am took a while to came up, my scalp is tingling which is a sign always that stim type amphetamine starting to work and a little BP spike as it is always the case
with me like my slight pressure in my ears but nothing unconfortably
12:00 tried to finish the book and writing research on psychiatric care in ZG four main hospitals as I in years before visited therapists in all of them
just to be able to talk with people that are inside.
12:05-13:00 my mind wonders staring at the computer, like I can't write but was feeling good, but not good to be sitting at the comp, so I went into city, as soon
as I started dressing myself and walking to a car outside was feeling like flying so I stoped and lit a cigarette outside in my garden nwm it was freezing
The smoke from cig is more dense as breathing out alone produce steam/fume It's hard to translate literal to english but you know what I mean, enjoyed it and
was talking to my older neighbor whom we call a patrol officer( he wasn't any kind of officer just is in retirement and he always want to know everything)
But I just asked him and he was to boring to listen so I politely entered in my car and bye bye
for me driving is like walking I was a Taxi driver in 2021 and was working driving a van so:
(Driving while on influence of stimulants and pregabalin no matter if you feel confident is not recommended and avoid it at all cost)
13:30 I am in the city feeling sharp and content so I went through all my tasks and obligations in couple parts of town in just an hour and got it done.
14:45 time to score some weed and while I was driving I was thinking how great is that I smoke weed and it helped me lower my meds cause I was smoking it
from 2008. to 2011. almost every day and later I always got panic attack or just highten anxiety, but it makes sense cause I was taking psylocibin mushrooms
dozen times in last two years and one time acid and when I isolated myself from all those who were toxic and generaly I alieneted other people except my
daughter. at the times being alone was depressing but it showed me how to deal with things alone and now weed makes my mind race with thoughts but like when I
relax and breathe I can extract the meaning of some, what I wanna say is I tend to get more creative as opposed to anxiety.
16:30 got home and brew more coffee as I'm a caffeine junkie with 5mg sublingual dextroamphetamine, 300mg pregabalin and put my clothes
in my washing machine and was cleaning while singing.
17:30 my scalp is numb again and my stomach is almost like shrinking( similar when MDMA floods the brain with serotonin and letting know the stomach that is satisfied
and doesn't need any food) also that last sentence is hard to translate literal from Croatian. sorry
17:45 I wrote some great shit in 15 minutes and pregabalin now adds to the overall feeling, again 5 minutes or so I was in my head looking through my window how wind
bends everything except my pine which is enormous now and I told my father that we need to cut it down cause it's like 10 meters high and already is pinching the
transmission line electric wire.
18:00 I reckon I ate nada so I went to nearby mall and bought some food mostly proteins, the best food on stims I red that somewhere which just confirmed my
desire to proteins before.
18:30 got home and prepared my zinc, l-tyrosine with the proteins, have mag bisglycinate but didn't want to take it with pregabalin at least while pregabs wore off.
But I needed to roll one light-joint and that gave me better apettite not that I couldn't eat but it's better when hunger is there.
19:00 I'm now writing, at the same time printing research papers and reading from them. Like I'm a woman and can multitask- this is still spoken here like it's set in stone
21:00 time went by fast and dexies effects are now fading but there is no crash like with Concerta which is also mild but sometimes weird and depressing.
22:00 rolled two more small joints and I have all networks on my disposal and I watched The Last of Us new HBO show and then my ex-wife called crying
I was wtf Is everything ok' with baby girl, now she remembered our Love and she still loves me, I was like: baby you need to be consistent and guide yourself with
heart if you are that miserable with your man now, whom she picked just to not be alone and because the guy has money and is never home but he could be, but some
people are scared of their fathers in 40s here still.
I said look he is not bad guy and we are good better than we were in last year of our relationship and just because I found girl who is in early 20s and looks
frickin great and she is now jelous.
I went with saying that this is just a good sex nothing more and she bursted in tears I was like OK. my doors will always be open for you just calm down.
I wrote this cause I'm usually apathetic to talking emotions with her or her changes in opinions like she pretends that she never said anything the other day or night.
00:00 I'm going to sleep and tomorrow will be trying modafinil in the morning with smaller two dosages of dex 5mg, with my 1mg buprenorphine and pregabalin.
Dextroamphetamine is the best ADD med that I tried so far