Michael_25
Bluelighter
I've been single for a few years now. I went on a date yesterday (my first date in about 5 years). I met this girl online, and we had great conversations over the Net over the past week. Then we decided to meet up in person, at a café... It was all downhill from there. I felt nervous, and this in turn made me awkward and caused the conversation to become stilted. The date lasted a brief 30 minutes. She finished her coffee, got up and said "I might leave now, but it was nice to meet you."
Clearly, the humor, social ability and playful teasing couldn't be converted in person. She must have found me a bore and weird, like every other girl I've met. I'm losing hope with females. I'm 27 years old and this was my first date in over 5 years, and it was a calamity.
I messaged her throught the dating site the following day, apologising for my awkward demeanor and poor conversation. I told her I was just nervous (which is true). She replied saying she felt we didn't "click", and that she can tell within 5 minutes of meeting a guy whether there's going to be chemistry between them. She did apologise for leaving so early. She said that she didn't see the point in trying to "force things that won't happen [i.e. the chemisty]", which is why she left so early.
I can make girls laugh and playfully tease them online (as I did with this particular one), but in real life, I'm as fun as watching paint dry. It sucks, because she was quite an attractive girl. We asked each other open-ended questions, but the whole conversation just sounded so formal and heavy, and the conversation was stilted. I couldn't relax, even with diazepam in my system.
So, I can't meet girls in real life since I'm reviled by them, and meeting girls online is now not going to happen. I realise that it's too easy to be humorous and laid-back when you're behind a computer screen, but when it comes to actually meeting the person face to face, it's a different story. I'm deleting my online profile, and will probably spend the rest of my life celibate. I have tried to reach out to people, but I've failed each and every time. I'm a social fuck up, and at the age of 27, it's unlikely to change.
I read books on body language and how to gain friends and influence people, but the methods suggested do not work for people like me. I don't have a single friend in the world.
I can't connect with people. I have no friends of either gender. I come across as weird, and no matter how hard I try to change it, it never pans out. Fuck my life. It consists of going to work, coming home, going on the Net, and watching porn. I'm breathing, walking and talking, but I have no life. I'd be better off dead than living this life of hostile alienation and loneliness. I really can't think of anything to live for other than my Dad. Sometimes I feel like lashing out violently at those who've humiliated and persecuted me.
Clearly, the humor, social ability and playful teasing couldn't be converted in person. She must have found me a bore and weird, like every other girl I've met. I'm losing hope with females. I'm 27 years old and this was my first date in over 5 years, and it was a calamity.
I messaged her throught the dating site the following day, apologising for my awkward demeanor and poor conversation. I told her I was just nervous (which is true). She replied saying she felt we didn't "click", and that she can tell within 5 minutes of meeting a guy whether there's going to be chemistry between them. She did apologise for leaving so early. She said that she didn't see the point in trying to "force things that won't happen [i.e. the chemisty]", which is why she left so early.
I can make girls laugh and playfully tease them online (as I did with this particular one), but in real life, I'm as fun as watching paint dry. It sucks, because she was quite an attractive girl. We asked each other open-ended questions, but the whole conversation just sounded so formal and heavy, and the conversation was stilted. I couldn't relax, even with diazepam in my system.
So, I can't meet girls in real life since I'm reviled by them, and meeting girls online is now not going to happen. I realise that it's too easy to be humorous and laid-back when you're behind a computer screen, but when it comes to actually meeting the person face to face, it's a different story. I'm deleting my online profile, and will probably spend the rest of my life celibate. I have tried to reach out to people, but I've failed each and every time. I'm a social fuck up, and at the age of 27, it's unlikely to change.
I read books on body language and how to gain friends and influence people, but the methods suggested do not work for people like me. I don't have a single friend in the world.
I can't connect with people. I have no friends of either gender. I come across as weird, and no matter how hard I try to change it, it never pans out. Fuck my life. It consists of going to work, coming home, going on the Net, and watching porn. I'm breathing, walking and talking, but I have no life. I'd be better off dead than living this life of hostile alienation and loneliness. I really can't think of anything to live for other than my Dad. Sometimes I feel like lashing out violently at those who've humiliated and persecuted me.