Im still kind of new to this whole thing. So basically I started using MDMA a few months back, took what must a have been a quarter gram, and about some weeks later took atleast a 0.7 dose. Took a long 2 month break over christmas from university and recently did it again, about 0.5 and again two nights in a row about a week ago.
Well some background information would be useful here: I have had some problems with allergies in the past, eczema, asthma though they are mostly gone now but I have always had this issue where I will always wake up with puffy swollen eyelids - the more tired the better I actually look but the more rested the better I will feel and look as the day goes on- strange and on worst but rare days a stuffy head feeling, weakness and red/itchyness, I think this just has to do with my body's sensitivity and history of being allergic to things, and the doctors really never found a problem, they said I was normal (atleast in regards to my eyes). Well anyway so I have always had this issue and then I started using MDMA.
I got the amazing buzz but I noticed my eyelids swelled up while using it the first two times. I am not sure if that has repeated itself when I used it again as I did not check in the mirror and just partied, but every time after it has worn off during the night I felt immeditaely drained, to the point where I could knock out to sleep. However, I immediately awake a few hours later and even though I feel tired I cannot go back to sleep. This has happened every time and the sporadic sleep lasts for a week a so. Along with this I get scary kick-reflexes while trying to sleep and bad dreams, including hallucinations of changing faces and lieing down in a club when I was actually in my bed, days after I used it. As I write I am suffering intense panic attacks to the point I felt nearly suffocated to death, including yesterday. I smoked weed a few times this week but it only aggravated the paranoia and panics.
I felt totally ill, stuffy and messed up and my memory is all over the place. I am now in severe depression, I do not know what is going on, I feel isolated and alone at university even though I shouldn't, it feels like my friends are drifting away when they probably arent, met a girl Im making out with but I still feel lost as if there is no one to express my feelings to. I was totally fine last term. Yet in a space of a week after using it all this is happenrning, hell I even put my name on a room swap for my accomodation because the room seemed too enclosed to me. It feels however that these anxieties are based on truth but the mdma is aggravating them? but I am not sure. I am just hoping I dont get those nightmares that strike exactly a week after using as I have before. I would also add that I get the itching, heat and dazed feeling as well as if I have hayfever. Lastly, I would like to add that I appear much more skinnier almost immediately after use every time (my family told me I lost a lot of weight, people have been saying as well), can it affect diet and weight loss? I dont even feel that hungry anymore either this week?
My basic plea is to anyone who knows anything about this, what are the effects, have I been using too much? Is my body allergic to it (most probably)? Did I take too much? Long term problems associated with it? Its a good high but the negatives outweigh the positives for me, I cant go on like this I feel absolutely fucked. To me I personally feel this has all happened after md use.
Well some background information would be useful here: I have had some problems with allergies in the past, eczema, asthma though they are mostly gone now but I have always had this issue where I will always wake up with puffy swollen eyelids - the more tired the better I actually look but the more rested the better I will feel and look as the day goes on- strange and on worst but rare days a stuffy head feeling, weakness and red/itchyness, I think this just has to do with my body's sensitivity and history of being allergic to things, and the doctors really never found a problem, they said I was normal (atleast in regards to my eyes). Well anyway so I have always had this issue and then I started using MDMA.
I got the amazing buzz but I noticed my eyelids swelled up while using it the first two times. I am not sure if that has repeated itself when I used it again as I did not check in the mirror and just partied, but every time after it has worn off during the night I felt immeditaely drained, to the point where I could knock out to sleep. However, I immediately awake a few hours later and even though I feel tired I cannot go back to sleep. This has happened every time and the sporadic sleep lasts for a week a so. Along with this I get scary kick-reflexes while trying to sleep and bad dreams, including hallucinations of changing faces and lieing down in a club when I was actually in my bed, days after I used it. As I write I am suffering intense panic attacks to the point I felt nearly suffocated to death, including yesterday. I smoked weed a few times this week but it only aggravated the paranoia and panics.
I felt totally ill, stuffy and messed up and my memory is all over the place. I am now in severe depression, I do not know what is going on, I feel isolated and alone at university even though I shouldn't, it feels like my friends are drifting away when they probably arent, met a girl Im making out with but I still feel lost as if there is no one to express my feelings to. I was totally fine last term. Yet in a space of a week after using it all this is happenrning, hell I even put my name on a room swap for my accomodation because the room seemed too enclosed to me. It feels however that these anxieties are based on truth but the mdma is aggravating them? but I am not sure. I am just hoping I dont get those nightmares that strike exactly a week after using as I have before. I would also add that I get the itching, heat and dazed feeling as well as if I have hayfever. Lastly, I would like to add that I appear much more skinnier almost immediately after use every time (my family told me I lost a lot of weight, people have been saying as well), can it affect diet and weight loss? I dont even feel that hungry anymore either this week?
My basic plea is to anyone who knows anything about this, what are the effects, have I been using too much? Is my body allergic to it (most probably)? Did I take too much? Long term problems associated with it? Its a good high but the negatives outweigh the positives for me, I cant go on like this I feel absolutely fucked. To me I personally feel this has all happened after md use.
