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Venting Describe your struggle in three words or fewer

PtahTek said:
Oh, god, I am soooo sorry to hear you have those. Dealt with em for decades almost every night. The only thing that helped was bromazolam. Not recommending it for anyone or promoting the RC. I took it for a "break" from reality initially but found it knocked out my back issues fairly well. Then weeks later I realized I hadnt had a night terror in the same period of use. Stopped for a while (almost a year) and it all came back. 🥺
Been on it for about 3 yrs now I think and nothing. Gonna get off of it and see if my brain has been rewired and they stay tf away from me.

Love the cat playing. ❤️ I find they can calm me instantly when I get worked up. Amazing, really, imo. Bobo likes to play fetch with his pink mice before bed. It is adorable and he is one proud little boy. :)

Ot
Sleep was fitful
Click to expand...
Oh man yea I’ve had night terrors for years. I wake up sweating & have to breathe and try to calm myself that I’m in the here and now since they are so real. My whole body and muscles get so tight and painful from it all too, especially my jaw (which always deal with the pain from back when I broke it). I used to take lots of cocaine to just try to stay awake to avoid them (& obviously it wasn’t sustainable). Then I went for a while drinking enough alcohol to try to pass out for a couple hours and not have them … which obviously wasn’t sustainable either. So now a days I’ve been on and off trying to work out my shit in trauma therapy … which is pretty hard and I hope will eventually help me.

In the past I’ve been in two PTSD support groups. One for trafficking survivors and the other was just any kind of PTSD … combat survivors, survivors of gang and domestic violence, ect. One of the guys that was a combat survivor told me the only thing that eventually helped him was Prazosin. My psych wants to prescribe it to me (Prazosin), but I take Kratom when I’m out of painkillers and I’ve read a lot about that being a really bad combination .. so idk. Also this one woman I used to talk to from one of the groups told me the thing that finally made her get rid of them was journaling actually. She’s a trafficking survivor and had night terrors for years. She said she kept a notebook by the side of her bed & that every time she woke up from a night terror, the minute she got up she would write down exactly what the night terror was. She said after doing that for a while she started piecing stuff together and kind of integrated in her mind what she’d had been through and what her subconscious was trying to tell her. I don’t know how to explain it exactly how she did, but she said after 50 years she thinks it’s the only thing that finally worked. She said she still has the fear of them coming back but she really think it helped her somehow.

That’s interesting what you say about bromazolam. I’ve had clonazepam help me a ‘little’ once in a while (& helps as a muscle relaxer as well). But I think I’m noticing Xanax not so much. Xanax helps me with panic attacks and flashbacks during the day but I actually have been noticing when I take it before bed I actually REALLY get the night terrors pretty bad … weird huh.

Sorry I believe this may be the most I’ve rambled and lol it’s in the 3 words or less thread. Anyways yea I clearly really struggle with PTSD unfortunately … I hope so much for one day to heal a little more somehow. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write this out, guess I needed to. Also I’m really sorry you can understand PTSD as well.

And yes kitties are the best 🥰
Sending you a hug 💜
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
That’s interesting what you say about bromazolam.
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It blew my mind. It has also help 3 other combat vets I talk to and asked if they wanted to try it so I know there is something there. As you probably know a mf will try anything to get relief from those dreaded disturbing nights. I relate to all you wrote.
My psych offered me prazosin as well as a couple other meds cause I told him about the brom and how I was tapering but sleep was becoming more fitful the lower I go on dosing. I am now down to .8mg a day from no less than minimum year long 4mg a day usage. Terrors haven't returned (yet) but I do find myself grinding teeth again during sleep (it wakes me up).
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
I wake up sweating & have to breathe
Click to expand...
Same. I sometimes have to force myself to breath as I catch myself holding my breath for some reason. I do it in therapy and was asked if everything was ok. My answer is I don't know, really; an involuntary body function is on the fritz and I have to take over consciously.
I also do breathing exercises when I get out of bed in the AM. The night sweats are gone but it starts when I wake and lasts for about an hour instead. I feel it's panic induced but that's just my take.
I was asked to journal when I woke during the night about what was on my mind but the thoughts race so fast and are so scattered/disconnected that isn't an option for me.
I also feel that there is no real resolution for this madness. I hope there is and am seeking it fervently and honestly. Just that everything I have tried over the decades hasn't made much of a difference other than the dependence on brom. I suppose we will see. I told doc I don't really want to try any meds until I get back to a base line of sorts as the brom would make any effects of other meds inconclusive. The clonidine I agreed to cause I knew it was a decent tool for mitigating a lot of wd symptoms from many substances. I take .1mg of that and brom at 8:30pm and by 10pm I am out. Sleep for 5 straight hours without moving. Afterward sleep is spotty as hell. As you know I gotta play dead because of kitties until 6:30-7am. 😄
I wonder how many others here go through these symptoms of trauma.... I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy but then again can't say I have any.
Guess I will break this off here before we get banned from this thread.
I really am sorry you are in this, too. Really. Now I know why you were hesitant to watch that Edgar Cayce cat video I posted that day when I wrote about my toxicity.
At least we are trying to work through this. For decades I tried to mask it with the abuse of many substances that didn't work or did very little. That is a positive note even though there is a lot of work and tears involved. I salute you for trying to face this in a healthier way. Takes a lot of guts, determination, pain and persistence.
My very best,
J
❤️

Ed
Hugs back.
🫂
 
PtahTek said:
It blew my mind. It has also help 3 other combat vets I talk to and asked if they wanted to try it so I know there is something there. As you probably know a mf will try anything to get relief from those dreaded disturbing nights. I relate to all you wrote.
My psych offered me prazosin as well as a couple other meds cause I told him about the brom and how I was tapering but sleep was becoming more fitful the lower I go on dosing. I am now down to .8mg a day from no less than minimum year long 4mg a day usage. Terrors haven't returned (yet) but I do find myself grinding teeth again during sleep (it wakes me up).

Same. I sometimes have to force myself to breath as I catch myself holding my breath for some reason. I do it in therapy and was asked if everything was ok. My answer is I don't know, really; an involuntary body function is on the fritz and I have to take over consciously.
I also do breathing exercises when I get out of bed in the AM. The night sweats are gone but it starts when I wake and lasts for about an hour instead. I feel it's panic induced but that's just my take.
I was asked to journal when I woke during the night about what was on my mind but the thoughts race so fast and are so scattered/disconnected that isn't an option for me.
I also feel that there is no real resolution for this madness. I hope there is and am seeking it fervently and honestly. Just that everything I have tried over the decades hasn't made much of a difference other than the dependence on brom. I suppose we will see. I told doc I don't really want to try any meds until I get back to a base line of sorts as the brom would make any effects of other meds inconclusive. The clonidine I agreed to cause I knew it was a decent tool for mitigating a lot of wd symptoms from many substances. I take .1mg of that and brom at 8:30pm and by 10pm I am out. Sleep for 5 straight hours without moving. Afterward sleep is spotty as hell. As you know I gotta play dead because of kitties until 6:30-7am. 😄
I wonder how many others here go through these symptoms of trauma.... I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy but then again can't say I have any.
Guess I will break this off here before we get banned from this thread.
I really am sorry you are in this, too. Really. Now I know why you were hesitant to watch that Edgar Cayce cat video I posted that day when I wrote about my toxicity.
At least we are trying to work through this. For decades I tried to mask it with the abuse of many substances that didn't work or did very little. That is a positive note even though there is a lot of work and tears involved. I salute you for trying to face this in a healthier way. Takes a lot of guts, determination, pain and persistence.
My very best,
J
❤️

Ed
Hugs back.
🫂
Click to expand...
Wow you really do understand and jeez I’m truly sorry you do. Thank you for sharing this … it’s a double edged sword knowing you’re not alone but not wanting another to deal with the same kind of … torture (lol sorry hope that wasn’t too dark). But for real gracias amigo, you’re awesome. I hope you’re peacefully snoozing away as I write this.
Sending you solidarity and support
Hugs 💜
 
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