Mental Health Depression MEGA Thread - DepressionTalk + Over 100 Links of Info

[dilated_pupils]

New here, been lurking for some time but now I need to get something out and maybe get some help.

Just a few days ago I found out my only and best friend has passed away. I have strong reasons to believe it was a overdose on Tramadol. he have had two seizures when I was him and took Tramadol, but he awoke after some 15 minutes.

He was so close to me we planned to get an apartment together, I told him all my secrets and Im sure he told me all of his. We helped each other when we was in pain. He was like a brother to me. And now he is gone, and it just feels so fucking terrible. Im gonna start to go see a psychairtrist.
But I just feel so lonely even if I have my family. I used to be at his place more than my home. it was practicly a second home to me. I know I cant kill myself because thats not what he want and then I would just hurt my own family as much as he has.
I have to things all the time just to keep me occupied and not to think about him.
Im both angry and sad that he is gone. I have no appetite and want to be in denial that he has actually set this all up as some sick joke.
We were going to go and extra year in school together because we both needed to get better grades, now I have to go an extra year alone and I am alittle asocial or shy, have been bullied to school and now Im scared of that....it just feels like all is falling down, Im loosing it. Im clean of drugs at the moment and Im gonna try and stick to just doing soft drugs like cannabis and psychadelics(ofcourse not in a long time and Im feeling better)

Thank you for your time reading this and Im gonna ask if any one has any advice to how to go on with my life?

You are going to deal with your loss in your own way. Seeing a therapist is a great idea, I lost my best friend last year and it killed me. I have yet to talk to a professional about it, but I have come to terms with his death and learned a lot through it. For a while all I was doing was crying, and I kept going through different stages of grief, never getting to the point I wanted to be at, but cycling through them back and forth.

I recommend looking up the different stages of grief, remember though that not everyone goes through them in order, you can also jump around from one stage to another, and then back again.

This experience will make you stronger in the long run, well hopefully, because you should learn from the mistakes your friend made and not let it happen to you. If it wasn't an OD, then still you will learn that life is so precious, and that losing someone so close to you is very devastating and hopefully this will allow you to see life in another aspect now.

I know how you are feeling, since like I said, I have went through it myself. If you need anyone to talk too, just PM or AIM me. You're more than welcome to contact me anytime.

I'm sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and the others who cared for your friend.

-dp

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

has any of these type of drugs ever helped you.

They've helped me by increasing time elapsed between "depressions", but the episodes themselves are way more intense, so it's a trade off.

I've gotten the most relief from what I am taking now (Prozac, Clonazepam, Ritalin, and Nortriptyline), but I hope to trade some of these conflicting medications with a mood stabilizer.

Unfortunately, I found alcohol in the end be the drug that calms me down, slows down my thoughts, changes the subject. But, being that I had no business drinking in the first place due to Hep C exposure (I'll just add that to my huge collection of self hate), I have now reached the point where further use of that substance will surely kill me and for some reason I now care if I die. You're not just supposed to bare life are you?

Alcohol is a bitch for me too. So close, cheap, legal and somewhat dissociative. Pretty hard to beat! I only wish it could be a healthy long term solution.

"Supposed to" is pretty loaded. I find that's pretty much what I do is bare it most of the time and once in a while go completely manic.

I wonder if there is any way to get mental relief from something that doesn't interact with the liver very much?

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

What is manic?

I'm having difficulty in understanding the term "manic"... like what separates it from say - having a great day, being high on life, hyper, etc. etc?

This makes me feel uneasy about discussing my problems with my doctor because we've only ever used the terms "ups" and "downs".

 

[dtta]

I'm having difficulty in understanding the term "manic"... like what separates it from say - having a great day, being high on life, hyper, etc. etc?

This makes me feel uneasy about discussing my problems with my doctor because we've only ever used the terms "ups" and "downs".

Hi. This might help:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mania

I'll do my best to help out if you want anything clarified or explained better. (I'll be away for the next couple days though.)

 

[junctionalfunkie]

Emotional Freedom Tecnique (EFT)

A friend sent me this link today.

http://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Emotional-Freedom-Technique-(EFT)

I haven't tried this, but have had considerable success using acupuncture/acupressure and other Traditional Oriental Medicine to alleviate depression, anxiety and addiction issues in the past. It really can work!

 

[dilated_pupils]

It's nice to see everyone working together and helping one another out. I just thought I'd point that out.

-dp

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

Hi. This might help:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mania

Wikipedia is a bit sketchy, but for instance this part here:

"characterized by extremely elevated mood, energy, unusual thought patterns and sometimes psychosis." Unclear about what extreme elevated mood is exactly? Could it be hyperactivity or something else?

And the "Unusual thought patterns"... according to whom? This all sounds so gray.

I'm unclear about the difference between mania and the normal part of being unipolar depressed.

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

It's nice to see everyone working together and helping one another out. I just thought I'd point that out.

-dp

Cheers to that, with a non-alcoholic beverage of course.

 

[dtta]

Wikipedia is a bit sketchy, but for instance this part here:

"characterized by extremely elevated mood, energy, unusual thought patterns and sometimes psychosis." Unclear about what extreme elevated mood is exactly? Could it be hyperactivity or something else?

And the "Unusual thought patterns"... according to whom? This all sounds so gray.

I'm unclear about the difference between mania and the normal part of being unipolar depressed.

Hi. For the (hypo)mania:

-- Are you aware of your elevated mood? If so, you're probably not manic, although you may be hypomanic or in the up stage of cyclothymia.

-- Are other people noticing the change?

-- Is it impairing your ability to work and operate normally?

-- Are you taking risks that you normally wouldn't, without any regard for the consequences? (A lot of bipolar people die from, besides suicide, misadventure.)

-- Are you hypersexual? Extremely horny, eg willing to engage in unprotected sex with randoms?

-- During this up cycle, do you tend to get cranky near the end, and extremely impatient with people? Do they seem a bit daft to you? Are you able to sort out things in your head super-quick -- you're brain is in absolute overdrive?

-- Do you have flights of ideas, ie, thoughts coming so quickly that you can barely keep up? Do you have great difficulty finishing a task before you move onto a new, suddenly more interesting, activity? Are you making lists of idea and putting notes around the place?

By "unusual thought patterns", they mean the delusions and psychotic anomalies that accompany full-blown mania. In it's profound state, it presents pretty much the same as schizophrenia.

Normal adage of "if you know you're crazy, you're not applies". That said, I knew "something was wrong" for decades before I was dx'd BP II, and I'm also blessed enough to be self-aware and on top of my situation. I still don't manage it properly from time-to-time, but I'm aware of that. If you were BP I and manic, or BP II and significantly hypomanic, you would not have that awareness, and in fact would be extremely angry at anyone that pressed the point you weren't acting right.

Hope this helps. (Remember, though, I'm not a Doctor, you can't do dx over the Internet etc etc.)

 

[sushii]

^ Just to add - the awareness might not be there during the manic phase, but it is likely to be there afterwards.

Lifeonthefarm, a lot of symptoms of mental illness can seem to cover what we experience in everyday ("normal") life - often what distinguishes the two is profound impairment or distress. Full-blown mania is quite an extreme state and would be difficult to mistake for general good mood.

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

Hi. For the (hypo)mania:

Thanks for the feedback.


Are you aware of your elevated mood? If so, you're probably not manic, although you may be hypomanic or in the up stage of cyclothymia.

-- Not aware until downturn, if at all.

Are other people noticing the change?

-- I've had the symptoms since I can remember, they definitely know something is wrong and made that clear.

Is it impairing your ability to work and operate normally?

-- Pretty much in all aspects, absolutely.

Are you taking risks that you normally wouldn't, without any regard for the consequences? (A lot of bipolar people die from, besides suicide, misadventure.)

-- Very very stupid risks, not that often though...but very stupid.

Are you hypersexual? Extremely horny, eg willing to engage in unprotected sex with randoms?

-- This would be an understatement.

During this up cycle, do you tend to get cranky near the end, and extremely impatient with people? Do they seem a bit daft to you? Are you able to sort out things in your head super-quick -- you're brain is in absolute overdrive?

-- Yes exactly. Also this is where I think I'm getting mixed states (at the end of the ups)

Do you have flights of ideas, ie, thoughts coming so quickly that you can barely keep up? Do you have great difficulty finishing a task before you move onto a new, suddenly more interesting, activity? Are you making lists of idea and putting notes around the place?

-- 100%. I am prescribed Ritalin for this.

By "unusual thought patterns", they mean the delusions and psychotic anomalies that accompany full-blown mania. In it's profound state, it presents pretty much the same as schizophrenia.

-- Does having yelling conversation with myself with 2 or more characters qualify for this? I definitely have pretty warped thoughts and sense of humor sometimes.

Normal adage of "if you know you're crazy, you're not applies". That said, I knew "something was wrong" for decades before I was dx'd BP II, and I'm also blessed enough to be self-aware and on top of my situation. I still don't manage it properly from time-to-time, but I'm aware of that. If you were BP I and manic, or BP II and significantly hypomanic, you would not have that awareness, and in fact would be extremely angry at anyone that pressed the point you weren't acting right.

Hope this helps. (Remember, though, I'm not a Doctor, you can't do dx over the Internet etc etc.)

Of course thank you. These things I would like to discuss with my doc asap.

LoP

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

Full-blown mania is quite an extreme state and would be difficult to mistake for general good mood.

Change the words to , GREAT DAY instead of general good mood. I think there's room for misinterpretation.

I've been in this game so long, but have only become aware of the existence of "mania" recently. I assumed it to mean something more like "delirium" for some reason.

When explaining to a doctor, I used the term "hyper-active", never said "manic"... they never asked either.


LoP

 

[sushii]

I'd still say that mania can be easily differentiated from a great day - dtta's post summed up it up well, I think. It's also not just the severity that differentiates it, but the length. It's something your doctor should have ruled out before a diagnosis of depression, though, so talking to them more about it is definitely the way to go.

 

[jigsawpuzzlepiece]

If you were BP I and manic, or BP II and significantly hypomanic, you would not have that awareness, and in fact would be extremely angry at anyone that pressed the point you weren't acting right.

Does anyone have suggestions for helping persuade somebody like this that they need treatment? I suspect one of my close friends may be BP, well beyond just suspect, I know him very very well and he exhibits many symptoms and also has a family history (mother was diagnosed BP) but if I ever bring up even the slightest hint of him seeing a psych like I do he gets really defensive and is very insulted by the insinuation I'm just trying to help.. I see his behaviour jeopardize our relationship as well as those w/other people around him and it hurts to know treatment could fix or help him a lot.

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

I'd still say that mania can be easily differentiated from a great day - dtta's post summed up it up well, I think.

If one of the symptoms of the mania is being oblivious to it happening in the first place, I think at least one of the doctors (2GP + 2 pdocs) would have ruled it out.

I've got every manic symptom there is, and my concerns have been dismissed by all of these professionals, leading me to believe they are correct (mild-moderate depression).

On the other hand, looking at it from my own perspective, it looks like a mis-diagnosis. I am not a doctor so I have to believe them for now and get another opinion.

As for talking to the doctors I'm doing it as fast as I can. The pdoc appointments have a tremendous waiting times unfortunately, but I get to see my GP tomorrow.

I really hope whomever I get will actually look at my file and not just sigh and get me to try a different SSRI.


LoP

 

[sushii]

I really hope whomever I get will actually look at my file and not just sigh and get me to try a different SSRI.

I hope they do too - there's some evidence that SSRIs can actually worsen the depressive episodes in bipolar disorder, and if you're wanting to control the mania then a mood stabiliser is generally better (presuming of course that you're even after medication - I realise you might just be getting it thrown at you!).

Also being oblivious to the mania might be a symptom, but it's not part of the diagnosis, i.e. a diagnosis wouldn't be made or ruled out based on whether it was present.

Best of luck with it - hope you have more luck with the next person you see. Don't give up hope, as there are good psychs (and GPs) out there...

 

[dtta]

LoP, when you started or changed anti-d's, did they send you into one of these high states you are concerned about? Or had no effect for 2-6 weeks and then you felt better but not in a "(hypo)manic" state?

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

Does anyone have suggestions for helping persuade somebody like this that they need treatment?

It's good that you are talking/thinking about it instead of potentially making things more tense by being too direct.

Unfortunately I don't have any good suggestions, but I am in the same situation with a close family member. I really don't want to bring it up to them again ad-lib, that's for sure.

Best of luck with it - hope you have more luck with the next person you see. Don't give up hope, as there are good psychs (and GPs) out there...

Thanks for the encouragement. The psychs I saw were the most reputable the city had to offer. Looking at it statistically, it's most likely I am not bi-polar.

Great, I really hope so. Something just seems wrong, but I'm typically paranoid so... can't wait to meet with a new psych.

LoP, when you started or changed anti-d's, did they send you into one of these high states you are concerned about? Or had no effect for 2-6 weeks and then you felt better but not in a "(hypo)manic" state?

The effects came on slowly about 1-2 weeks, and then felt better but not always in a "(hypo)manic" state. The cycle seems to be getting shorter again as time goes.

Another thing is having Ritalin with the anti-d could have something to do with it.

LoP, when you started or changed anti-d's, did they send you into one of these high states you are concerned about? Or had no effect for 2-6 weeks and then you felt better but not in a "(hypo)manic" state?

See this here to me is a normal/up/good day:

Classic symptoms of hypomania include mild euphoria, a flood of ideas, endless energy, and a desire and drive for success.

 

[paranoid android]

I didnt realize i was manic/hypomanic until other people pointed out my odd changes in behaviour. People mentioned it years before i was actually diagnosed but i never thought anything of it or i just put it down to drug use. My best friend always said stuff like "your really weird you won't hardly talk or do anything for days or more then you can't shut up and your all go".

I always knew i was depressed sometimes and really depressed at that but mania never crossed my mind until a doctor who speclized in psychotherapy thought my mood swings might be more then simple depression. I was reffered to a psychiatrist and in the meantime i was taking amitriptyline and seroquel which helped abit. It wasent until years later when i got on lamotrigine that i noticed a huge difference.

I get racing thoughts, increased sex drive, a flight of ideas that are sometimes really dumb but i do them anyway, i sleep much less unless i take a anti-psychotic such as zyprexa, i get irratable very easy, etc.

When i suffer from a mixed state i often self harm, i get these black racing thoughts that i can only describe as awful, i feel like im crawling out of my skin, i think the world is crashing down on me, sometimes i'll get sorta psychotic and have mild hallucinations and punch walls beat up stuff whatever and i also get suicidal.

Mixed states are very dangerous and thank god i don't get them much anymore. The lamotrigine seems to have helped reduce them alot. Now whenever i get one i usually take a zyprexa zydis and 10-15mg's of that will knock out a mixed state pretty quick. The stuff has been a godsend for me.

I just figured id tell you some of the symptoms i get. It's hard at first to tell the difference between a good day and hypomania but after awile you can often tell pretty quick. I tend to get irritable even with hypomania now so it's fairly easy for me to tell.

 

[OneandOnly]

Thanks for the support guys!

Im waiting to get some time with a psychiartrist, tried to go to a therapist but I didnt feel a good connection/chemistry with that person so hopefully the next one I will meet will be better.

Im already feeling a bit better, it might be because I have started to take 5-htp along with some vitamins. I already feel like doing some drug and just escape from the reality. But I wont, because if I would then I propably would end up addicted. Besides thats not what my passed away friend would want for me.

I have my family and some friends to talk to but thanks for the support, I will def contact you if I feel like Im needing it.