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Depression, and anxiety

craigyt2k said:
diet, exercise, socialising, keeping occupied. maybe read a tao te ching
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I know this is probably well meaning, but its not really helpful. My diet is probably pretty average and if anything I need to gain weight. I already try to exercise, to varying degrees of success. Socializing is something I try to do, but in get horrible anxiety and in general have poor social skills ( working on this ).

It sounds like I'm rationalizing the advice away, but I really have been trying to work on some of these things.
 
Fast 'n' Bulbous said:
This summer I'm thinking of playing some kind of sport, but I'm not sure which one.
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This is a great idea :) Would you give soccer another go? I imagine you'd be good at it since you used to play before. Or, what other sports have you considered?
 
Based on advise here I talked to my parents, going to sign up for soccer this fall as it doesn't run during the summer. It's probablly a good idea as it will get me out the house (im a shut in) and get me to run around more. It also has the upside of forcing me into a social situation, as usually I try to avoid them.
 
Sounds great, I hope you go for it :) Let us know how it goes! When does the season begin?
 
Hey man,

Sorry to here you are having these problems. I too used to suffer from depression and anxiety.

for talking to the therapist. Maybe if you find it difficult, you could write her a letter before you go in, and give it to her at the start of the session. this way you have expressed yourself before you go in there, and it will be easier to work from there. you could even print of this thread.

As for SSRIs. they help some people, others not so much. they do come with alot of side effects. the worst one and potentially the most dangerous is they increase the risk of suicide and suicidal thoughts initially when you take them. this is heightened in younger people. other common side effects include, loss of sex drive, difficulty orgasming, weight gain etc. also there is the discontinuation syndrome, which I can personally attest to sucks.

Depression isn't forever. If you make some changes in life it goes away (though slowly). For me it lasted about 1 and a half years, which is short time compared to many. Whilst your depressed and anxious its terrible, there seems like no way out. but eventually things get better and you look back and think 'thank god I don't feel that way anymore'.

Cut out the alcohol and drugs. alcohol definately makes depression and anxiety worse. the hangovers for me were excruciating when it came to anxiety in particular. also, all the drugs whilst your young put you at a heightened risk of other mental illness too, or a worsening of symptoms of your depression and anxiety.

Life generally gets alot better after highschool. You don't have all the stupid school yard shit of popularity etc. going on anymore. making friends is alot easier too.

You sound like a very articulate and intelligent person. Seems your a very high functioning person with Aspbergers in alot of ways. Work hard at school, so when your done you have good marks and you can off to college. have a fresh start somewhere. I can almost guarantee life will get better.

Also, I echo doing some regular exercise. Soccer seems like a great idea. It will get you outside, you'll be doing something fun, it will get you interacting with people too. Excercise is great for depression. some studies have found it is just as benefical as SSRIs, with none of the side effects.
 
@n3o
Thanks for the support :)
Not sure when the season starts, but I want to say September? Still gives me a while to get ready for it.

@psytaco

It's encouraging to hear that even though you had depression & anxiety you made it through. May I ask what personally worked for you? Even though I know it isn't permanent right now I just can't see an end in sight. I don't have a very good memory but I can't even think of the last day where I didn't wish it could all just end.

The side effects of the SSRI's dont sound that bad (wouldn't really care about loss of sex drive as no girl in their right mind would date me, im under weight so weight gain might help that, to afraid to commit suicide but wouldn't mind being dead), so if they work just a little I think it would be worth it. Hell even if they don't work for me I can hope for the placebo to. Another good thing is that even though I don't really want to it would force me off alcohol/weed.

It is comforting to know that after highschool things start to get better, barring a mental breakdown or something ill probably end up heading off to college right after.

In terms of the Aspergers I'm very high functioning, I just have poor social skills and anxiety (the major part)

You've been very helpful, and its great to hear that their is a light at the end of the tunnel if I can manage to make it through the bullshit.
 
Fast 'n' Bulbous said:
@psytaco

It's encouraging to hear that even though you had depression & anxiety you made it through. May I ask what personally worked for you? Even though I know it isn't permanent right now I just can't see an end in sight. I don't have a very good memory but I can't even think of the last day where I didn't wish it could all just end.

The side effects of the SSRI's dont sound that bad (wouldn't really care about loss of sex drive as no girl in their right mind would date me, im under weight so weight gain might help that, to afraid to commit suicide but wouldn't mind being dead), so if they work just a little I think it would be worth it. Hell even if they don't work for me I can hope for the placebo to. Another good thing is that even though I don't really want to it would force me off alcohol/weed.

It is comforting to know that after highschool things start to get better, barring a mental breakdown or something ill probably end up heading off to college right after.

In terms of the Aspergers I'm very high functioning, I just have poor social skills and anxiety (the major part)

You've been very helpful, and its great to hear that their is a light at the end of the tunnel if I can manage to make it through the bullshit.
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Hey man,

There were a few things that helped me. I'm a bit older than you btw so keep that in mind (I'm 25, and the depression etc. started happening when I was 22-23, getting really bad at 24).

probably the main one was meeting an amazing girlfriend during this time. Its ironic that she came along in the most messed up point of my life. but her caring nature, her listening, her compassion, probably got me through more than anything.

I also managed to find a good psychologist. As I said before, for it to really work I had to open up to her.

Changing some things in my life, this is a big one. I was living with people I hated, and there was always conflict. I would time my time spent in communal areas to avoid them, which isn't easy as there were 4 other people in the house. not a good way to live. things got alot better when I moved out.

I also cut back on the drugs. particularly MDMA which I think contributed alot to my depression. also booze too.

I did take SSRIs, zoloft 50mg for about 6 months. It helped a bit but the side effects really shit me. the sexual ones in particular. it wouldn't of being so bad if I didn't have a girlfriend.

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For yourself in terms of SSRIs. keep in mind alot of people don't get all the side effects, but the sexual ones are really the most common. If you don't have a girlfriend, and not dating any girls or doing that kind of thing, then it won't really bother you. might be a relief actually, because you won't think about sex as much. and your right, the potential weight gain won't bother you, if your underweight. if you go to the gym whilst on them, there is good chance it will bolster your muscle growth.

the main thing you have to be careful of is the increase in suicidal thoughts. younger people are more that risk of this. you might not care if you die, but your family would be devastated. feeling suicidal is terrible, and death doesn't seem like a bad thing when you feel that way. but just think of what it would do to the ones who love you if you carried through with it. your parents would probably blame themselves for the rest of their lives. so whatever you do, don't kill yourself.

anyway, talk to a psychiatrist about all of this. but you should mention the cutting and suicidal thoughts, so they can see if medication is appropriate for you.
 
Talked to my therapist today, ended up just freezing up again instead of really talking about how I felt. :\ Next week when I see her I'm going to make a concentrated effort to open up.

Haven't cut today, but I'm pretty sure one of the deeper cuts on my arm is infected. Put some neosporin on it.

The summer is starting to come up and hopefully getting a job / out of school at least temporarily will help. Although I'm still not sure that my depression really has many environmental factors, as living with my parents can be annoying at teams but it probably works out for the best.

You're right that suicide would most likely kill my parents, but I don't think I am suicidal at the moment. I'm not sure that even on SSRIs I could go through with it even if I would like to.

Still waiting on a callback from a psychiatrist, its taking so long I think I might try another. It's kind of funny, If I do get an appointment/meds and that doesn't work I don't know what the fuck I can do next. At least it helps to talk about it here where I can be anonymous.
 
Dude, you sound so much like me when I was in highschool. I got a scholarship to a private school and 99% of the kids there were snotty spoiled brats that looked down on me and wanted nothing to do with me. At least, that was how I perceived it at the time. And I still fucking hate that school. Not just the kids there, but the whole philosophy of the god damn thing. And I graduated almost three years ago.

Hang in there man. Things get better in college. Try to learn more about the world. I have a lot of friends who are depressed. And sometimes, we have good reasons to be depressed. The world is a fucked up place, and every day innocents suffer and the despicable prosper. The best we can do is not give up. Every one with a fucking heart wants to kill themselves. Think how much worse the world would be if we all went through with it.

Hey man, I'm glad you posted this. What I just told you, shit, I'm realizing now that it's what I've got to tell myself. I have no idea who you are but I'm sending some love your way man. Read books, learn. Knowledge is power. Read some Kerouac. "La vida es dolorosa" -- life is pain. Glorious pain.
 
I guess hanging on is the only choice I really have at this point. The school I go to is public, but I know what you mean when you said your classmates "looked down on you". I'm in a similar situation where I feel that although I'm not exactly looked down upon I am looked at as "different" or "weird" (sadly, probably for good reason).

I really can't wait till college, as from what I hear it gives a chance to finally get out of my house and be forced to change myself. What im afraid of is that "who I am" is so deeply ingrained in my brain that I wont be able to change it. This would be boisterous as quite frankly, the only person I can think of that I actually hate is me.


Its interesting that you mention reading, as if I have any one "interest" its to read everything that gets in front of me. For the past few years I think the happiest moments I've had have been getting lost in a good book. Still have yet to read any Kerouac, only book of his I've heard of is "On the Road" would that be a good starting point? My extent of exposure to him is reading about Neal Cassady in "The electric kool-aid acid test"
 
On the Road is fucking great. I quoted Tristessa, which is very short and also well worth reading. Another quote from that book I love: "...living but to die, the sad song of it I hear sometimes on my roof in the Tejado district, rooftop cell, with candles, waiting for my Nirvana or my Tristessa..."
 
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