Late last night, the first poem in weeks occurred. To demonstrate how sick I really am, the first two lines came to me while peeing 
Deconstruction
Damned to feel permanently
the precise opposite of cleansed
grasping now how each moment is constructed
beings arranged in an order
apparent once questioned
unfolding though refusing to become forthcoming
denying the right to unwrap
the offering teasing at sacrifice
swearing benefits to involvement
then breaking apart to demonstrate conviction
bearing the mantle of blamelessness
concisely describing arcs while defining climaxes
speaking only to gauge the volume of response
now primed expecting reprisal
deconstructing tone certain of intention
desperate to possess nothing
treating shadows as disclosure
misreading conceiving misreactions
turned clumsy in unfamiliar attention
caressed to confess admitting confusion
missing points ignored by disinterest
more attuned to sudden flashes
given to open dangerously misjudging trust
proving truth lies in a detail
then turning criteria completely reflective
storming inward to assess degrees of failure
pretending to purge of corruption
bemused by deviation and amused by distress
disgorged reluctant to be required to explain
possibility for preparation exhausted
curious as to the outcome of an opening mouth
obsessed with what is always immediately
next.
Deconstruction
Damned to feel permanently
the precise opposite of cleansed
grasping now how each moment is constructed
beings arranged in an order
apparent once questioned
unfolding though refusing to become forthcoming
denying the right to unwrap
the offering teasing at sacrifice
swearing benefits to involvement
then breaking apart to demonstrate conviction
bearing the mantle of blamelessness
concisely describing arcs while defining climaxes
speaking only to gauge the volume of response
now primed expecting reprisal
deconstructing tone certain of intention
desperate to possess nothing
treating shadows as disclosure
misreading conceiving misreactions
turned clumsy in unfamiliar attention
caressed to confess admitting confusion
missing points ignored by disinterest
more attuned to sudden flashes
given to open dangerously misjudging trust
proving truth lies in a detail
then turning criteria completely reflective
storming inward to assess degrees of failure
pretending to purge of corruption
bemused by deviation and amused by distress
disgorged reluctant to be required to explain
possibility for preparation exhausted
curious as to the outcome of an opening mouth
obsessed with what is always immediately
next.
