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December '14 -- SL Getting & Staying Sober Thread

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engineercchad said:
roughly 18 months. Life is looking up. Cleared out the benzos, opiates, etc. etc. etc. Finally got work... Have a baby on the way....

It's not so bad, life is good. :)

I saw something the other day: "My life can be summed up in one sentence: it didn't go as planned and that's okay." <-- Apparently, not being okay with the non-ideal means control issues are present?
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Congratulations, on 18 months and a baby coming… !

Good point. For me the need to control something means it's out of control in some way…. Sometimes when life doesn't go as planned I don't get what I want but what I need and that's okay… Not happy at first, but turns out for the best :)
 
BlueSaffron said:
Really down right now. Considered using for a minute but decided not to. Trying to have faith that if i work hard on my sobriety and my life, it will pay off later. Doesnt feel like it atm though.

Not going to use today tho, so today is 9 days no heroin. Ive taken 3 mg dub, really tempted to take my last mg now, even tho i know it will be a mild mood lift if any.

How do people do it? Just live sober and feel pain with no escape from it?
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Develop strategies to deal with the pain and find new escapes. The 12 Steps and Therapy help me tons in that department as well. I just have to be willing to be uncomfortable in order to change.
 
Kind of binged this weekend but won't have the opportunity for a while, which is probably not a bad thing. Hoping that the pain clinic calls me back this week.
 
I'm in so much pain, I quit Adderall completely,
I have been off opiates for about two weeks I'm not sure if I can cut them totally my back is fucking killing me. But I know I will overdo if I decide to get back on the pain killers. I just want to make my family and myself proud. I feel myself slipping I don't want to hop back onto the suboxone because if I ever really fuck my back up big time, my doctor will just look at me like a junkie its lose lose.
 
I understand chronic pain … I have massive degenerative discs in my spine… and stenosis on one side, as well as CT.
Had an emg last week and docs recommend the ct release surgery. Next to have mri as well soon… as I do need another c-spine discectomy. New discs would be superb for me so I can get back to my former job. I truly enjoy this pet care I'm doing but it's p/t and not enough money. :\

I'm off opiates and know Lyrica or Gabapentin might help with my pain but I absolutely, cannot stand going through another withdrawal of any kind.. I just don't have it in me anymore.
 
gr33n3y3z said:
I'm in so much pain, I quit Adderall completely,
I have been off opiates for about two weeks I'm not sure if I can cut them totally my back is fucking killing me. But I know I will overdo if I decide to get back on the pain killers. I just want to make my family and myself proud. I feel myself slipping I don't want to hop back onto the suboxone because if I ever really fuck my back up big time, my doctor will just look at me like a junkie its lose lose.
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Keep it up then! Very difficult in the beginning. I can only make it because of mmt.
 
Smoky said:
I understand chronic pain … I have massive degenerative discs in my spine… and stenosis on one side, as well as CT.
Had an emg last week and docs recommend the ct release surgery. Next to have mri as well soon… as I do need another c-spine discectomy. New discs would be superb for me so I can get back to my former job. I truly enjoy this pet care I'm doing but it's p/t and not enough money. :\

I'm off opiates and know Lyrica or Gabapentin might help with my pain but I absolutely, cannot stand going through another withdrawal of any kind.. I just don't have it in me anymore.
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I´m sorry to hear that. Hope it gets better for you:\
 
I know chipping will cross my mind. I shouldn't even do it once I think. In my last days of use I thought so many times how at its best getting high is only ok, and not worth it for all the dark parts and torture of loved ones who are scared for you. Anyone else newly clean and know that you shouldn't even get high once (except weed of course,lol)?
 
CfZrx said:
I know chipping will cross my mind. I shouldn't even do it once I think. In my last days of use I thought so many times how at its best getting high is only ok, and not worth it for all the dark parts and torture of loved ones who are scared for you. Anyone else newly clean and know that you shouldn't even get high once (except weed of course,lol)?
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It's soo not that great. There's something about being sober that makes you romanticize and idealize getting high... but everytime I've caved it hasn't been the blissful opiate nirvana I was dreaming about... not even close. I'm trying to remember that this time. It's not that great, at least not for those of us who've had a habit for any length of time. I wrote about that a couple pages ago I think. At best it's only 'decent'... and when it comes time to redose it's not even decent anymore, I just feel heavy and sedated, and that's when I start thinking about how much I want to be clean. It's a stupid boring merry-go-round of pointlessness, and I'm done with it.
 
Smoky, I am on Gabapentin and Savella for my chronic pain and find they actually work really well. And remember, you can taper these much more easily since they don't really have abuse potential like opiates.

I hate to see anyone else in pain... if it might help, I'd say please at least give it a shot.
 
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