DEATHADONE-4 days into w/d~NEED ADVICE/SUPPORT~

[LucidSDreamr]

If you haven't heard already excercise (even tho u feel like crap) helps alot as it releases natural endorphins which tickle your opioid receptors

 

[Backfromthebrink]

If you haven't heard already excercise (even tho u feel like crap) helps alot as it releases natural endorphins which tickle your opioid receptors

That's a good point also. During my last withdrawal I went to the gym every morning and did German Volume Training. which is one if the roughest workouts imaginable. I didnt feel like it, and the motivation to get out of bed and go was hard but that and then a hot bath when I got back home made the world of difference. The thing to remember with WDs is that whether a week, 2 weeks or 6 weeks, all you have to do is get through each day and eventually it will be over...if you can use little tricks to make it through each day while keeping the discomfort level as low as is possible with the aforementioned tricks then eventually you're at the other side and it's over.

IME the very worse thing you can do is lay in bed, not eating or drinking and thinking about how shit you feel. So many people on here have done it successfully and everyone has little nuggets of advice to give that can mean the difference between getting through it or caving on day 3 and returning to your old habits.

 

[Deathadone]

Wow, I'm speechless as to all the support I'm getting from all of you. It makes all the difference in the world. I am still alive and kicking and going to be going onto day 6! I feel like complete trash, I'm not going to lie. When I first posted this thread before I got the news of my friend passing the other day, my mental state was so good. Was happy to know that once I get passed all this that I'm going to do great things in life, enjoy my family and most importantly love myself again. But after I got that call it just killed me inside. I'm really trying to not let it effect my recovery, but that's not a possibility. Loosing yet another person to drugs, just like my brothers suicide has killed me inside. I'm still determined and I am NOT going to go back to that horrible drug that has stripped away the man I once was. I had it all. Beautiful girlfriend, a car for me, a car for her, an awesome apartment, and we both had good jobs. I got nothing now. But I got to keep thinking that this won't last forever. Each one of you has helped me tremendously and I cannot thank you all enough. On the side note, I have been taking multi vitamin on top of the medications I had listed before, drinking lots of water, and surprisingly have been still eating! I had an egg, bacon and some fruit this morning. Salad and a bit of Turkey for lunch and going to try and get some dinner into me later on. I've gotten out of the house multiple times today just to walk around and see the sunshine and have a smoke. I'm beginning already to realize how beautiful the small things in life are and it's only been just under a week. I have detoxed many times before but I have never felt this good this far in before. Could this be some kind of miracle?! The lyrica helps so Much, lifts my mood, allows me to do things and takes the muscle pain away for a bit. And that along with the clonedine and Valium at night has allowed me to sleep an average of 4-6 hours every night so far. Your body heals while you sleep, so mabye it's speeding up the acute part of the w/d. I know Ill still have to deal with the PAWS but if I can get through this I can concur the world!!! Lol.
Heard a good saying today "I think an individual making it through recovery is the most badass thing a person can do"

Ain't that the truth. We're all warrior's. Fingers crossed I keep this mindset.

Much love and appreciation

 

[Deathadone]

Just a quick update for everyone who has been here to support me,

I woke up after almost 6 hours of sleep! I'm now on day 6 I believe and I feel GREAT! Ate a big healthy breakfast, had a shower, made my bed, did my laundry and am just getting ready to go to the gym for a light jog and a swim in the indoor pool (I'm from Northern Canada and its like -28C right now burrrrrr). I cannot explain how I'm not curled up in bed in agony right now. At this point I should be at my worst but the two days before today were the most painful.

I'm still getting sweats/chills throughout the day, and some muscle pain but it's quite bearable with the medications I'm taking! I'm no longer taking the Valium during the day, only at night to sleep. Lyrica is a godsent, it takes away atleast 60-70% of my W/Ds. 100mg 3 times a day along with 0.1 mg clonedine, then 20mg of Valium at night. I have an appetite, energy, and I feel CLEAR headed for the first time in years!!!!! I'm ecstatic that it's going so well

Thank you all for the help and I will continue to update everyday. I hope the worst is over, but I also know that this is very uncommon to feel this well only on day 6 or 7 of detox, especially with methadone.

I feel blessed

 

[HoldBack]

Glad you are doing well. Don't forget that you might get a bad day after a good day and there will be greater depth to your emotions.

You are lucky to have lyrica, it's some good stuff for sure.

Stopping an addiction when you don't have to is the time to do it. I always think those that stop on their own accord will be more successful although people from every situation you can imagine have been successful.

Someday (in at least several years) I'll be getting off methadone and the more people I hear of who have been successful the more confident I will feel so keep going with it.

 

[Deathadone]

UPDATE: I made it a week Methadone free now! I'm praying the worst has passed. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel the greatest but it's bearable. You just HAVE to stay busy. Thsts the only thing getting me through this, besides the medications, and of course the support from all of you!

To anyone out there still on the DEATHADONE as I call it, you can do it. I thought I was the most mentally weak person in the world, but that's not the case, 5 days off, I had my self pride back, the strive to interact with friends, wake up and take a shower, and just stay busy all day.

The WORST thing you can do is sit around and think about it. I've done it many times before and it never worked! Just sitting on the couch typing this I can feel the RLS and bone pain coming back bad. So I'm off too the gym again.

I'll keep you all posted.

Merry Xmas eh!

 

[Deathadone]

Doesn't seem like anyone is replying to this anymore. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm now on day 8 methadone free! Just got back from the gym, did 1 hour in the weight room, 1.5 km on the treadmill and 20 mins on the heavy bag. Each day gets better. Starting to sleep a little better now (4-5 hours a night) but I feel mentally AMAZING. For those out there still on this poison , get off of it, you can do it! I feel like a new man, my old self. Self pride, self worth, the want to get things accomplished and best of all I'm HAPPY again. Hope this will motivate some of you to kick it like I did. It's not that hard, people pump it up and that's what makes it mentally scary to get off. Get yourself in the right mindset and you will do it! Getting through detox and recovery is the most badass thing a person can do!!!!!!

-Deathadone

 

[S&Em]

Hi Deathadone! I'm still reading and cheering for you! Just wanted to let you know so you will keep posting. Keep up the good work, you are very motivational esp with all that you have been through. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you find the strength to continue on this arduous journey

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

Exemplary work Deathadone! Swimming, running, sparing, lifting weights... not exactly the usual W/D story, not that it's a breeze or anything but still, very encouraging stuff man.

 

[Backfromthebrink]

Very good mate. Just realise that there could be bad days ahead and tackle them in the way you have been doing and you'll get there

 

[Deathadone]

Day 10 or 11 now, I'm not quite sure ! You got that right tho. Could be feeling great one minute and like crap the next. But I'm just staying busy, and most importantly, STAYING MOTIVATED! You need to keep busy during w/ds. Those who lay around in bed will just feel it even more (I've tried it that way many times before haha). Starting to wean off all my comfort meds now slowly, diazepam only at night now to knock me out LOL, and will continue the clonedine for the next month just for the chills and sweats. Jesus I hate that, one minute I have my thermostat cranked to 30C (idk if you guys use Celsius or Fahrenheit) but that's pretty hot for us Canadians eh and the next minute I have it down to like 15°C. RLS comes and goes, just like the sweats but I'm almost past the acute stage now. No looking back!!!!! I feel fucking GREAT mentally. Sooooo clear and motivated again. I hope my story and success can help other that are still chained down to opiates. It's a sad life.

-Deathadone

 

[Deathadone]

Made it past the two week mark. No opiates what so ever. Unless you consider immodium one hahaha. PAWS is setting in and fucking with my head!!!! Depression, no self confidence, lethargic. Ughhhh I'm a social guy usually and this part feels even worse. In general how long did the worst of this mental game bs last?! Cause I'm going crazy with bordum yet no ambition to do anything. I know PAWS can last up to like 6 months and what not, but when (in your case) did the worst of it last. Because right now it's almost unmanageable -.- I've made it through the acute stage so I really don't wanna go back to opiates ever. But I've never been so down.

 

[Painful One]

Hang in there. Realize that this is a symptom your mind is creating and fight it. Telling yourself you are fine and just forcing yourself to be social and active helps each time you force yourself through it.

I do know what you mean though and I feel for you. I don't have direct experience with methadone but I quit morphine for a year once to see if it would help me feel better. Every day was such a struggle for about 4 months and then it got way better.
It never was like a one day you wake up and you are fine timeline. It seemed to have much more to do with positive attitude as to how I was feeling. Fight through this. You have almost made it. You will see your life improve but won't notice it until you look back in about 4-6 months. After 6 months I was feeling great again and I thought to myself- "those pills are a self confidence destroyer and here I thought they helped my self confidence and made me more outgoing."

I used meditation and would imagine me picking up the negative thoughts I had and physically throwing them out of my brain and would image me doing that every time I had negative thoughts until those thoughts no longer came up. It is amazing how powerful your mind really is. Force it to serve you.

Good job and congratulations. You did something very hard to do. Keep going.

 

[Scrofula]

PAWS is unavoidable. It's just something you have to get through.

And I agree with Painful One that a big part of it is your evil subconscious trying to trick you back into your habit.

So finding distractions is important, even if they seem lazy and frivolous. Don't stress yourself trying to get motivated or productive or social--you've got time to wallow in video games or Netflix marathons. Although sunlight and physical activity is important.

The depression will go away, or at least become less intense. You just have to wait it out.

Keep us updated, and congrats! I'm moving this to Sober Living.

 

[jdfisse]

Deathadone! I hadn't been following this thread. You are a real champ! I have been there. Substance free is possible...and more than being possible, it is worth it! Thank you for sharing your hope with those that are dying for it.

 

[cj]

Made it past the two week mark. No opiates what so ever. Unless you consider immodium one hahaha. PAWS is setting in and fucking with my head!!!! Depression, no self confidence, lethargic. Ughhhh I'm a social guy usually and this part feels even worse. In general how long did the worst of this mental game bs last?! Cause I'm going crazy with bordum yet no ambition to do anything. I know PAWS can last up to like 6 months and what not, but when (in your case) did the worst of it last. Because right now it's almost unmanageable -.- I've made it through the acute stage so I really don't wanna go back to opiates ever. But I've never been so down.

It'll get better slowly but 3 to 6 months is the usual time table

 

[Runningfox]

Hi Deathadone !
My name is Mandy & I'm from the Midwest USA a Tiny town called Brooklyn. (It ain't new York! )


I just read your thread n wanted to offer my encouragement. You've done so well: keep it up n dont let your brain pull tricks on you. That Honeymoon phase you experienced was nice n now you're suffering the deep depression n lack of motivation. You sound like the type of person who'll get thru it and come out even stronger (a better version of YOU ) on the other side.
Take your time; just stay the course and don't give into the Evil drugs

Take care!

 

[jdfisse]

I will share my experience since experience has far more value than opinion. My wife and I remember clearly the location and time at two months clean where I told her, "I want to pull the car over right here and get out and jump up and down and scream, 'I feel so f%$#ing free!'"

As an addict I consistently will look for anything to cling to, any excuse to not get better. PAWS was rarely mentioned when I got clean and now it has become this thing that virtually everyone "struggles" with. I am in love with fantasy. Constant "struggle" is a fantasy that my mind creates when I refuse to live in the moment. I have never been in a perpetual state of struggle, but I will conjure it if given enough idle time. I have a pattern of being willing to give up everything in my reality for a plunge in to fantasy land.

People who have never been clean telling other people how long PAWS lasts is pure fantasy. Buy it or don't buy it. Suffering is optional.

***edit: I don't give my experience on "chipping" or dabbling because I don't have that experience to share. I don't have experience with smoking weed or tripping once I made the decision to be clean so I stay far away from that topic too. This doesn't make me better than. It just means that abstinence has a voice of experience on this site as well. If I slam, smoke, snort, or keister today I will get just as high and potentially f*&k my life off as much as any other member here. If you are attempting a path to complete abstinence I am here to share that it is possible. Find your path Deathadone. You have support.

 

[Painful One]

I will share my experience since experience has far more value than opinion. My wife and I remember clearly the location and time at two months clean where I told her, "I want to pull the car over right here and get out and jump up and down and scream, 'I feel so f%$#ing free!'"

As an addict I consistently will look for anything to cling to, any excuse to not get better. PAWS was rarely mentioned when I got clean and now it has become this thing that virtually everyone "struggles" with. I am in love with fantasy. Constant "struggle" is a fantasy that my mind creates when I refuse to live in the moment. I have never been in a perpetual state of struggle, but I will conjure it if given enough idle time. I have a pattern of being willing to give up everything in my reality for a plunge in to fantasy land.

People who have never been clean telling other people how long PAWS lasts is pure fantasy. Buy it or don't buy it. Suffering is optional.

***edit: I don't give my experience on "chipping" or dabbling because I don't have that experience to share. I don't have experience with smoking weed or tripping once I made the decision to be clean so I stay far away from that topic too. This doesn't make me better than. It just means that abstinence has a voice of experience on this site as well. If I slam, smoke, snort, or keister today I will get just as high and potentially f*&k my life off as much as any other member here. If you are attempting a path to complete abstinence I am here to share that it is possible. Find your path Deathadone. You have support.

Absolutely priceless comment here! Agreed!

 

[jdfisse]

Hey Deathadone how are you doing?