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Dear Daddy

drug_wench

drug_wench

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 2, 2005
Messages
8,138
Location
auckland, nz
I wrote this for my father.........



We all need to know we're loved
Even when we make bad choices
Lying in the gutter, sad and frail
Someone hear our voices
Daddy, you were proud of me
Your quiet daughter, academic
Naive and impressionable
I fell for the 'P' epidemic
I fight for freedom every day
Temptation has a thickset jaw
The hypodermic's in the trash
But do you love me anymore?
The look I see you give to me
It's pure disgust and disapproval
Daddy, I'm just really sick
I'm learning to be strong and truthful
Learning to be less impulsive
Learning not to play with drugs
But I need encouragement
I miss your pride, I miss your love
I'm an addict, Daddy
I've been robbed by crystal meth
But I love you lots you know
And I've got battle left
I was doing well, you know
Till my resolve collapsed
Addicts struggle day by day
And sometimes we relapse
Please don't be ashamed of me
Please say I'm doing well
'Cause beating methamphetamine
Is much like beating hell
We all need to know we're loved
Even when we're hooked on 'P'
An unconditional, endless, love
Could help to set me free!
 
that is one of the most beautiful thing i've read since 'stop all the clocks'.
the bitter truth and delicate accuracy of pleading emotions is spine tingling.
this one feels solid and loud, direct from the heart.
splendid.
 
this one feels solid and loud, direct from the heart.
Click to expand...

So true. I was close to tears reading it...

I'm sure that if I was the one battling a meth addiction, reading this over and over again to myself would strengthen my resolve.

I hope you pull through, drug wench. :)

Who knows, maybe changing your alias could assist in the transformation process? Then again maybe not, but thought I should just put the thought out there...
 
I can only echoe what others have said because I think the same thing - so simple yet so powerful. The repeated use of the word 'daddy' gives the piece an aching innocence, which contrasts dramatically with the pernicious elements that have tainted you.

Keep writing, you have a strong and powerful voice. And keep fighting too.:)
 
thank you all
i have left a copy in my estranged fathers letterbox
maybe oneday, the pair of us will pick up the pieces together
till then, i am learning to love myself! :)
 
aw sweety, i have faith that you can win this battle... and love yourself for all of the beauty that glows through in your words. i'm sure it won't be long before your father sees it too! <3 love
 
drug_wench said:
thank you all
i have left a copy in my estranged fathers letterbox
maybe oneday, the pair of us will pick up the pieces together
till then, i am learning to love myself! :)
Click to expand...
You are stronger than me and your words are beautiful and enlightening... Meth is the one thing I have never touched for it is one thing I am not sure I can control. Good luck with your battle, I think your words my guide others out of the dark places you are emerging from!
 
thank you everyone
i take it one day at a time, like they tell me to do at NA
the love i receive here almost makes up for the love i ache for from my father
wen he was growing up, he was not taught unconditional love
if he had become addicted to meth he wud have bn beaten to a pulp by his awful father
i know he will not visit me in rehab.....but im not doing this for him im doing it for me!
poetry is how i communicate best - i am glad to hav communicated my pain through this poem.....im sure utha ppl go thru this kind of thing, and if any one else does, i just want to say that sharing it soothes the pain
on the other hand my mother and my brother hav bn so good to me i am a truly lucky woman
lockdown, thank u for calling me 'strong' - it is not a word i wud usually apply to myself, but maybe i am
cos slowly im beating this demon of a drug!
 
you have made the biggest and best step yet toward getting healthier...
you stated
im doing it for me!
Click to expand...
, and if you were doing it for any other reason than because you actually want to, we'd have some problems... but you are on the right track spiritually and mentally. I overdosed on upppers and still insisted on using them, although they were very close to becoming the end of me... only could i stop when i trully wanted to. after rehab there will be many new friends to be made in places like NA... the people in those meetings are so amazing, like you and me, ready for a change.
it's a relief to go to meetings and talk with people who have such similar crazy experiences to share, and so much love to give. i wish you all of the strength i can give for when you get out of there...and i know that there will be many other people who'll enter your life that will help you grow as well! the world is full of change and love... accept both!
 
thanks mary - ur post touched me
and i agree - the ppl i hav met so far in those rooms (NA) seem to hav an amazing amount of love to give.....and theres something special and extra about them i cant quite put my finger on
maybe its that theyve bn thru so much theyve grown as ppl, in a way that those who dont suffer so much never have a chance to do
i am thoroughly enjoying NA
its great to know that others on BL r members of the fellowship too :)
 
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