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dealing with judgemental comments from close friends

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waketheeffup

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 1, 2011
Messages
409
I'm relatively new to the rave/EDM scene (and all that goes with it).

I really enjoy it, ive picked up gloving (and am pretty good at it) and i try to make it to at least one show a month with my girl and friends.

My group of friends are all into dubstep as well, and have taken E (a few even more than me) and will occasionally with me too.

The problem started with my room mate's girlfriend, who is really hard on herself when it comes to life (and any drug, be it alcohol, weed, etc) that she consumes.

I'm the most successful (business/career wise) of all my friends at the moment, and have been my whole life. Recently, a few of my friends have taken a liking to throwing out snippy comments regarding drugs I've done.

Eg, the classic "oh are you rolling right now, oh r u gonna do some acid for the show huh?" Im just smoking weed and drinking beers tonight, no need to do drugs like (my name)."

Here's the sitch, I've rolled 11x now my entire life, had a short stint with our close group of friends with cocaine (we all got a LITTLE too into it, i only survived about 3 weeks of our daily binging before dropping out of the habit) taken a half tab of LSD, shroomed one time years back, and smoked weed less and less lately, but used to be a pretty hardcore stoner like the majority of our group.

I dont ever really break the once a month-once every few months Rolling rule (obviously with the amount of times i do it) but drugs are really exciting to me, i like to talk about my experiences with them as often times i do feel they are the best stories. Also, we all know how fucking awesome a concert/festival is on drugs.

I feel as if i am very responsible with my drug use, and, yes, it is new, so i really enjoy it. I'm sure it does seem like i talk about it a lot more lately (I've never really done Club drugs in my past).

What bothers me is that everyone thinks that LSD and MDMA are these huge big bad "No NO" substances, and when used responsibly, they are about as dangerous as watching TV or smoking a bowl of weed.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? How do you reply to the comments??
 
Tell them to read Erowid before they say anything about drugs, or you give them a huge drug lecture like it came right out of the fucking book. Thats what I do, often times it surprises them and they realize that in fact they don't know shit. Or they think your some weirdo that is obsessed about drugs, but either way they are missing out :p.
 
Just tell them how you feel. Tell them that you respect their decision to imbibe in whatever they feel like and that you'd like the same as long as you're not making an ass hat out of yourself while under the influence. Let them know that their comments bother you and that you don't find them helpful or constructive.
 
Some people don't even understand the difference between say, LSD or MDMA, and Heroin/Cocaine.
Most on bluelight understand the difference between psychedelics and euphoriants.

I have done MANY psychedelics. In the way of opiates/benzos/strong stims I've only used hydrocodone and codeine once each for medical reasons. If I don't bring up my psychedelic usage, my drug use is minimal. Its pretty interesting how people would consider me hardcore except that I"ve never been addicted to anything besides cigarettes, which I use minimally now.
 
OP: I have some friends that are the same way.

Honestly, regardless of your usage: if all of your stories seem to start with "that one time when I was on ...." people are gonna regard you with disdain (not saying that you ONLY talk about times when you're under the influence...but you can see what I'm saying).

And as far as others have said about "show them erowid or give them a lecture"... That will work sometimes, and folk will be impressed by and respect your knowledge. These folk will then realize you don't have a problem with your substances of choice and that you are being responsible and safe.

However: to some people, no amount of explaining or knowledge will sway their opinion of you, and they will continue to be snarky. (I have a roommate that is this way...and he used to be one of my best friends...sad things, but meh.)

What I find sad about your story is, if I understood you.... these friends that are hating on you occasionally do the same drugs with you?? In that case, I don't know what to tell you about that... Maybe find new friends? Or at least give them a long talking to about how they're not respecting you nor are they being good friends.
 
its true, i know i shouldnt really be sweating what anyone elses assessment is of me (except maybe my bosses lol) but these are my close friends since childhood so it kinda sucks.

I appreciate the help, and yeah, i definitely feel as if they're missing out, i think alot of this stems from the fact that they might even be curious as to what some of the experiences i've had are like.

In the case of my room mate, i know for sure its a three parter:
1) he always secretly asks for mints when im rolling, meaning i know he is a little jealous that my girlfriend is supportive of what i want to do, whereas the reason why he doesnt take drugs typically is because his girlfriend talks shit about it and wont let him (she made him throw out a mint once)
2) i tease him a little bit about it, so he's probably somewhat mad
3) he's curious about LSD and other drugs (since he cant roll or take 'cid cause of his girl, he always is like "im going to take shrooms for (blank dj name)" (which shrooms are not a club drug imo)

One of the main reasons i signed up for BL, read erowid and pillreports, is because i like to know what im putting into my body and frankly, how to not overdo it/overdose/cause myself harm.

I've tried the "well actually if you read this scholarly article about MDMA and neurotoxicity, blah blah" and it falls on deaf ears...

This is probably more of a personal issue than anything i need to address, but the feedback and similar stories from yall really helps!

Thx everyone
 
yeah same here. its hard for someone to understand using ecstasy in particular, because you have to do it, to know what its about. but if they don't do it, then more for me :)
 
I run into the same problem constantly with friends and acquaintances getting on my case about you do this or that, or have tried this, etc. etc. I don't make a point of letting every person I meet know I experiment with and use drugs, but I also don't go out of my way to hide it if people are inquiring.

One good way (good as in gets them too stop nagging you) I have found is by pointing out that many drugs like LSD, MDxx, Psyclobin, etc. aren't nearly as dangerous as many people think, and as long as your mature and responsible about your use it's a lot less dangerous then say, your friends eating fast food on a daily basis, or smoking two packs a week, etc. I am all for letting people choose what they put in there body, but they really shouldn't be judging you on it in the first place unless they are truly concerned about your health.

Also, if your friend is curious about mdma and psyches, I would say share the love. As long as he understands the risks and how to be safe about it, I'd say there's nothing wrong with helping a friend out. Maybe once he has tried it he will realize that your brain doesn't melt every time you drop a pill. I used to have a friend that told me, with all authority, that taking one hit of acid would give you permanent flash backs and rot your spinal cord EVERY TIME. I shit you not. After setting him straight a bit and introducing him to LSD a few months back, he now thinks much differently, and we have had a blast tripping together more than a few times.
 
I would just be like don't knock it before you try it. Then be like here is a dose do with it as you please. Then again I am a bit stubborn......

-Wolfman
 
You can't change other people, you can only change yourself.
I hope you understand that when they say this stuff IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU... Meaning, what they are saying is way more of a statement about who they are, rather than who you are. They are saying what they're saying not as a statement about you, but as a statement about themselves. Jealousy, envy that you can do drugs AND be as successful as you are.

Don't try to get them to change. Just understand that when they talk shit... It's about THEM, not you. If you get this, it changes the game, you don't have to take it personally and can easily let it go.
 
Mr. Waketheeffup,

Since you came here looking for support of your point of view, I'm sure you won't be disappointed. I will offer an alternative one...

Six months ago I had a really bad reaction to MDMA, which I am still in recovery from. The first response to this by users is that I had adulterants in my pills. This is simply untrue: my stuff tested pure on pillreports.

The next response is that I was genetically vulnerable to this reaction. While this may be a factor, it is NOT the leading factor. The cause of my problem was not spacing my rolls properly - something we have in common. :D

After months of reading hundreds of different research papers and conversing with many on Bluelight, some in recovery, some not...
I have arrived at a better-than-average understanding about what the risks of MDMA really are. Feel free to read through my other posts, most of which are quite detailed.

Allow me to educate you on the basics:

The serotonin system is the network of nerves that connect your intestines to your brain. 95% of your serotonin and serotonin receptors are in the intestines, not the brain. Serotonin AND bile are both made from tryptophan - an amino acid found in proteins. That means that digestion - bile production and intestinal contractions - are the primary purpose of serotonin. No shit.

The innervation seen in the 5-ht (serotonin) network is considered one of the most complex in all of biology. Unlike other organs, the intestines are not simply wired to one part of the brain. Rather, the intestines 'grip' the entire brain, sending intricate tree-like nerves throughout.

This explains why drugs that act on the serotonin system have such a unique effect compared to other drugs. Serotonergic drugs include MDMA, LSD, mushrooms, piperazines, mescaline, etc.

These drugs all induce a visceral response. Another name for this is 'gut reaction'. Other drugs do affect serotonin, such as marijuana, but drugs like MDMA uniquely target the serotonin network.

While on MDMA, users can experience a massive 800% increase in cortisol, a stress hormone. Once you peak, you receive a release of oxytocin/prolactin along with dopamine. Normally, dopamine and prolactin have an inverse relationship - when one is present the other is not.

Having both at the same time is the reason that sex can be so amazing on MDMA...the increase in prolactin inhibits ejaculation, allowing the male to last an inordinate amount of time...the dopamine counteracts this by increasing sensation and pleasure. Neurons that normally fire during orgasm are allowed to fire without it. You are simultaneously feeling orgasmic sensations while you are also able to avoid ejaculation for a long time.

For those that cannot achieve orgasm on MDMA, I am sorry - it was never a problem for me. If I didn't wait until I peaked, it might have been a challenge, but after the peak...no problem.

This visceral reaction to MDMA is one of the reasons people get into trouble with it. Although not a physically addictive drug (the body does not crave it), it can be a powerful psychological addiction.

The serotonin system is not as resilient as the dopamine system. Meth users can use their drug for many months or years before crashing, because they are targeting the dopamine network. But MDMA users are not so lucky.

MDMA can quickly exhaust the enzymes that break down excess serotonin. Further use of MDMA during this vulnerable stage produces greater and greater alterations in the 'brain-gut circuitry'. This is a fact.

Many scientists have proven this 'dose-dependent' effect. All they have to do is give animals repeated doses of MDMA, and they can reliably observe long-term/permanent alterations in the serotonin innervation seen in the brain.
Also, many different studies of former human users has confirmed that extent of use correlates with severity of symptoms and length of recovery.

So, the greatest risk to ANY user of MDMA is redosing. Got it?
Subsequent doses offer less and less high, and more and more damage. There is NO doubt left - this debate is settled.

Another critical point - serotonin in the brain has an amazing influence upon blood flow. This is also a fact. Brain scans of former users have shown decreases in blood flow to specific regions of the brain, something seen in elderly patients! This is where the erroneous 'holes in the brain' debate comes from. No holes were ever observed, but loss of blood flow WAS proven. Following this is sometimes a period of INCREASED blood flow to many regions. This is a marker of toxicity AND the healing process. Those experiencing increases, often described the worst symptoms. This can go on for many months. Just try reading about 'brain zaps' or 'head-pressure'. It is easily found on Bluelight!

Now, you also need to be aware that the body replenishes spent serotonin at a painfully slow rate. MDMA inactivates the enzyme that the body uses to synthesize more serotonin....for so long that science calls it 'permanent'. This 'permanent' inhibition of Tryptophan Hydrolase actually lasts 1-3 months.

This means that rolling once a month is NOT a safe guideline.
Veterans on bluelight have already reached this conclusion - the rule agreed upon by most conservatives is 3 months.

That means you can only roll 4 times per year, max.
Question - how many years did it take you to reach the reported 11 experiences?

The research also clearly shows that body temperature plays a direct role in toxicity. When a toxic dose is given, the amount of alteration observed in animals can be reduced by lowering body temperature. In humans displaying catastrophic reactions to MDMA, high body temperature is a hallmark of fatality or neurological damage.

Therefore, it is critical that all MDMA users control their body temperature.
Do not wait until you spike a fever, either. Make sure you are in a cool environment and wearing loose or NO clothing. ;)

Also, moderate intake of fluids is recommended, but only moderate. In many severe cases too much water is found in the bloodstream and this can cause swelling around the brain or death. Hyponatremia, as is it called, has even been seen in users that have NOT been drinking fluids! The treatment for this condition is the slow intake of salt, which allows the kidneys to start functioning again. If salt is absorbed too rapidly, an infarction in the brain-stem can occur! I recommend sipping gatorade.

So, I have laid out the basic rules:

Do NOT redose. If you insist on doing so, make it a small dose within the first two hours.

Do NOT roll two days in a row, ever.
Do NOT roll two weekends in a row, either. This is what fucked me up.

Space your rolls out by at LEAST 90 days. If you can't do this, you need to ask yourself why. Find another drug...

Control your body temperature like your health/life depends on it. It might. Anyone having a bad reaction to MDMA should be cooled down quickly.

Do NOT over-consume water. Sip fluids containing electrolytes, but in small quantities. Anti-oxidants can't hurt, and they might help.

Finally, I recommend never using more than 300mg in a given night. Most users are happy with half that amount, anyways. Test your shit, and know your dose.

Do you still think your friends are so uptight and judgmental? :\
Maybe they know something about the risks that they just can't put into words.
Hopefully I have done so.

Believe me, I never thought this could happen to me...
My lifetime exposure was less than 30 tabs.
The first time I rolled two weekends in a row, I paid a heavy price.

Although healing DOES occur, it can take one to two years easily. Recovery is not complete, and many scientists believe that even moderate users are making permanent alterations that simply fall below the threshold of detection.

Some are more vulnerable to this than others, but all of us are vulnerable eventually. Follow the rules and you can probably roll for many years. Break them, and you will 'lose the magic' or worse...

Good luck, and take care of yourself and your friends.
:)
 
I have this exact same problem. I am known as the druggey who is throwing his life away due to my once a month or less ecstasy use... I swear I'm Going to knock out the next ignorant fuck to call me a drug addict for using non addictive drugs.
 
sm7125 said:
I hope you understand that when they say this stuff IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU... Meaning, what they are saying is way more of a statement about who they are, rather than who you are. They are saying what they're saying not as a statement about you, but as a statement about themselves. Jealousy, envy that you can do drugs AND be as successful as you are.

Don't try to get them to change. Just understand that when they talk shit... It's about THEM, not you. If you get this, it changes the game, you don't have to take it personally and can easily let it go.
Click to expand...

THIS. This is completely fucking on point and I really could not have said it better myself.
 
I have an issue that I believe could be in this thread, please be patient with me. My situation is this, I do not have a bff or buddy that still gets or communicates experiences of the drug realm. So, I really have no one to talk to or do it with... About a month ago I decided to have my best friend (my husband whom I've dated for 11yrs and married for 3yrs) know about me and my choice on a controlled substance. Other than say the socially excepted ( cigarettes, coffee, weed, actual Rx, etc). He gave me his opinion and neither approved nor disapproved. However, it did become uncomfortable as he does look down on any controlled substance that could harm you on paper if caught(such as any encounter in a negative way with the authority system due to possession, intoxication etc.). So to make him feel better after debating every topic, I just told him that I would quit. Now I have, however I am a adult I can make my own choices, so I told him that I enjoy it and I can make these decisions for myself.
My point is I am going to do what I want to do, when I want to do it as long as I am holding my vows to him as a wife and vows to everyone as a friend, human being etc. Well, now I just do my own thing and omit the topic since no one like my answer(Because the answer is not what they want to hear).Is this necessarily wrong or what do you think about this issue? And I would really like to find contacts here so that I may have people to relate/socialize with on these issues.
Thank you, and sorry if this was confusing... You may asking anything you like, and I will decide and inform you whether I am able to disclose said information.[/COLOR]
 
Last edited:
socalthizzn said:
My friends just think im like some kind a science experiement but love me anyways and have fun right next to me sober. How old are you ^?


Op. How old are you?
Click to expand...

I'm 25 :)

I live on my own without parental support, pay all my own bills, have a steady job, even bought myself my own car (a nice one too!) recently.

I feel pretty good about what i do in life, just sucks cause ive always been in the role of the successful guy who is also a partier, so ive lived with the graduation speeches like: "We never thought ____ would make it, congrats!"

Its like, thanks, but no thanks
 
First Bad Comedown said:
Mr. Waketheeffup,

Since you came here looking for support of your point of view, I'm sure you won't be disappointed. I will offer an alternative one...

Six months ago I had a really bad reaction to MDMA, which I am still in recovery from. The first response to this by users is that I had adulterants in my pills. This is simply untrue: my stuff tested pure on pillreports.

The next response is that I was genetically vulnerable to this reaction. While this may be a factor, it is NOT the leading factor. The cause of my problem was not spacing my rolls properly - something we have in common. :D

After months of reading hundreds of different research papers and conversing with many on Bluelight, some in recovery, some not...
I have arrived at a better-than-average understanding about what the risks of MDMA really are. Feel free to read through my other posts, most of which are quite detailed.

Allow me to educate you on the basics:

The serotonin system is the network of nerves that connect your intestines to your brain. 95% of your serotonin and serotonin receptors are in the intestines, not the brain. Serotonin AND bile are both made from tryptophan - an amino acid found in proteins. That means that digestion - bile production and intestinal contractions - are the primary purpose of serotonin. No shit.

The innervation seen in the 5-ht (serotonin) network is considered one of the most complex in all of biology. Unlike other organs, the intestines are not simply wired to one part of the brain. Rather, the intestines 'grip' the entire brain, sending intricate tree-like nerves throughout.

This explains why drugs that act on the serotonin system have such a unique effect compared to other drugs. Serotonergic drugs include MDMA, LSD, mushrooms, piperazines, mescaline, etc.

These drugs all induce a visceral response. Another name for this is 'gut reaction'. Other drugs do affect serotonin, such as marijuana, but drugs like MDMA uniquely target the serotonin network.

While on MDMA, users can experience a massive 800% increase in cortisol, a stress hormone. Once you peak, you receive a release of oxytocin/prolactin along with dopamine. Normally, dopamine and prolactin have an inverse relationship - when one is present the other is not.

Having both at the same time is the reason that sex can be so amazing on MDMA...the increase in prolactin inhibits ejaculation, allowing the male to last an inordinate amount of time...the dopamine counteracts this by increasing sensation and pleasure. Neurons that normally fire during orgasm are allowed to fire without it. You are simultaneously feeling orgasmic sensations while you are also able to avoid ejaculation for a long time.

For those that cannot achieve orgasm on MDMA, I am sorry - it was never a problem for me. If I didn't wait until I peaked, it might have been a challenge, but after the peak...no problem.

This visceral reaction to MDMA is one of the reasons people get into trouble with it. Although not a physically addictive drug (the body does not crave it), it can be a powerful psychological addiction.

The serotonin system is not as resilient as the dopamine system. Meth users can use their drug for many months or years before crashing, because they are targeting the dopamine network. But MDMA users are not so lucky.

MDMA can quickly exhaust the enzymes that break down excess serotonin. Further use of MDMA during this vulnerable stage produces greater and greater alterations in the 'brain-gut circuitry'. This is a fact.

Many scientists have proven this 'dose-dependent' effect. All they have to do is give animals repeated doses of MDMA, and they can reliably observe long-term/permanent alterations in the serotonin innervation seen in the brain.
Also, many different studies of former human users has confirmed that extent of use correlates with severity of symptoms and length of recovery.

So, the greatest risk to ANY user of MDMA is redosing. Got it?
Subsequent doses offer less and less high, and more and more damage. There is NO doubt left - this debate is settled.

Another critical point - serotonin in the brain has an amazing influence upon blood flow. This is also a fact. Brain scans of former users have shown decreases in blood flow to specific regions of the brain, something seen in elderly patients! This is where the erroneous 'holes in the brain' debate comes from. No holes were ever observed, but loss of blood flow WAS proven. Following this is sometimes a period of INCREASED blood flow to many regions. This is a marker of toxicity AND the healing process. Those experiencing increases, often described the worst symptoms. This can go on for many months. Just try reading about 'brain zaps' or 'head-pressure'. It is easily found on Bluelight!

Now, you also need to be aware that the body replenishes spent serotonin at a painfully slow rate. MDMA inactivates the enzyme that the body uses to synthesize more serotonin....for so long that science calls it 'permanent'. This 'permanent' inhibition of Tryptophan Hydrolase actually lasts 1-3 months.

This means that rolling once a month is NOT a safe guideline.
Veterans on bluelight have already reached this conclusion - the rule agreed upon by most conservatives is 3 months.

That means you can only roll 4 times per year, max.
Question - how many years did it take you to reach the reported 11 experiences?

The research also clearly shows that body temperature plays a direct role in toxicity. When a toxic dose is given, the amount of alteration observed in animals can be reduced by lowering body temperature. In humans displaying catastrophic reactions to MDMA, high body temperature is a hallmark of fatality or neurological damage.

Therefore, it is critical that all MDMA users control their body temperature.
Do not wait until you spike a fever, either. Make sure you are in a cool environment and wearing loose or NO clothing. ;)

Also, moderate intake of fluids is recommended, but only moderate. In many severe cases too much water is found in the bloodstream and this can cause swelling around the brain or death. Hyponatremia, as is it called, has even been seen in users that have NOT been drinking fluids! The treatment for this condition is the slow intake of salt, which allows the kidneys to start functioning again. If salt is absorbed too rapidly, an infarction in the brain-stem can occur! I recommend sipping gatorade.

So, I have laid out the basic rules:

Do NOT redose. If you insist on doing so, make it a small dose within the first two hours.

Do NOT roll two days in a row, ever.
Do NOT roll two weekends in a row, either. This is what fucked me up.

Space your rolls out by at LEAST 90 days. If you can't do this, you need to ask yourself why. Find another drug...

Control your body temperature like your health/life depends on it. It might. Anyone having a bad reaction to MDMA should be cooled down quickly.

Do NOT over-consume water. Sip fluids containing electrolytes, but in small quantities. Anti-oxidants can't hurt, and they might help.

Finally, I recommend never using more than 300mg in a given night. Most users are happy with half that amount, anyways. Test your shit, and know your dose.

Do you still think your friends are so uptight and judgmental? :\
Maybe they know something about the risks that they just can't put into words.
Hopefully I have done so.

Believe me, I never thought this could happen to me...
My lifetime exposure was less than 30 tabs.
The first time I rolled two weekends in a row, I paid a heavy price.

Although healing DOES occur, it can take one to two years easily. Recovery is not complete, and many scientists believe that even moderate users are making permanent alterations that simply fall below the threshold of detection.

Some are more vulnerable to this than others, but all of us are vulnerable eventually. Follow the rules and you can probably roll for many years. Break them, and you will 'lose the magic' or worse...

Good luck, and take care of yourself and your friends.
:)
Click to expand...

i took the time to read your entire post. I respect what you wrote and thank you for taking the time to do so.

I have always been a big proponent of not redosing, and I've done significant research on avoiding hyperthermia and hypernatremia as well while under the influence of MDMA.

I did break the rules a few times recently. March was a bad month (festival, st patties day) but i still have not really experienced negative effects except spending lots of time researching MDMA and other drugs.

I wonder if that is a side effect (spending time thinking about rolling, day dreaming, etc)

I've even had a few dreams about taking drugs and having a great time. It does feel like its consuming a bit of my time lately. That i worry about, but i always end up getting pretty curious about whatever i do thats new.

Plus, the rave scene is pretty interesting and easy to get enveloped in.
 
sm7125 said:
You can't change other people, you can only change yourself.
I hope you understand that when they say this stuff IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU... Meaning, what they are saying is way more of a statement about who they are, rather than who you are. They are saying what they're saying not as a statement about you, but as a statement about themselves. Jealousy, envy that you can do drugs AND be as successful as you are.

Don't try to get them to change. Just understand that when they talk shit... It's about THEM, not you. If you get this, it changes the game, you don't have to take it personally and can easily let it go.
Click to expand...

ya know, ive gone through a lot of personal growth during my life, and this tidbit of 100% true information always seems to be forgotten. It's really easy for folks to project onto others, and even easier to "make it" about other people (even though we all know everything in the end is about ourselves)

thanks for the healthy reminder :)
 
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