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dealing with jail

kkattastic

kkattastic

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 21, 2010
Messages
1,214
Location
midlands
So,I usually post in EADD heroin thread
I was busted 3 months ago for supply class A,cultivation+supply class B
answer Bail on thursday and am shitting it
tbh,I have got used to the idea of going to jail
the only thing that really concerns me is telling my parents
I am always the one who disappoints in this family
just feeling so low-can't even physically talk to anyone
I can't see me avoiding a sentence simply cos of the amounts involved
even though i really don't have much previous
I have a good solicitor and I'll know more on thursday
would be great to hear from others who are/have been in this position and how you handled things
 
I'm sorry to hear about your situation mate. I don't really have any great advice cause I've never really been in this kind of situation. Keep your chin up.
 
*sigh* its hard but you can get past it. I have been there. I had no record. I did one crime really my entire life. It was a big one though. It took a year but it came back and got me. I was out on OR but I knew I had a few months before I had to go and turn my self in. Its hard. When you know your looking to do real time but at least its not prison. Your folks will get over it.

Learn from your mistake
 
kkattastic - I had to google your location. I was born and raised in Texas, and spent 5 calendar years of my life in Texas prison, which, in case you never heard, has a notorious reputation in the USA . I don't know if you are male or female. All I can do is tell you that you will make it through your situation. Everyone does. If you wind up in jail, carry yourself with confidence and and strength. Don't start any fights, but if you back down from one you will have a VERY hard time afterward, as all the other inmates will see you as weak and they will ALL try to take advantage of you. Don't go into your housing unit and hit the biggest guy in there, that is just stupid . If you have to fight, fight. You will get respect even if you get your ass kicked, because people will see that you are not going to curl up and allow yourself to be taken advantage of .
If you see something happen, you didn't see anything .
Mind your own business.
Be VERY careful who you associate with. Take your time figuring out who you want to associate with . Don;t gamble. Don't borrow anything or take loans of any type.
Mind your own business.
Mind your own business.
These are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head that will help you eliminate some problems.
Sometimes a stint in jail is better and easier than a probation term, but I know nothing about the legal system in the UK . I cannot help you with that .
 
Look bro if you want solid advice I've done some time & had it pretty rough while I was in the first 6 months.

After that I learned a secret there is a certain protocol to how you should behave but it would take too long to explain. The gist however is to always be on top of your mood because behind the wall you get depressed, people around you are depressed, and that is what leads to shit most of the time.

You happen to be in a funk, the guy next to you in the bathroom just had a bad visit with his family... you accidentally forget to courtesy flush... he says something with the wrong tone,, and bam before you know it you're both throwing knuckles and going at it hard. That is ALWAYS how I saw fights happen. People are always repressing anger in the joint so you need to get that shit out before negative shit occurs. My way of coping was running/lifting nonstop whether I was in my cell stand running or on the rec pile lifting weights. But you SHOULD absolutely get into a workout regime asap. Not just to get in shape but so you are able to deal with stress more effectively as there is tons of stress in prison.

Most important and this is the secret I was refering too. You will notice in prison there are tons of muslim people. There are also bloods/crips/saints/mm and all those types of things. However, what you won't realize is the muslims are the toughest gang behind the walls. But they don't operate or come off like a gang at all. They do their own thing usually only with other muslims or people who are interesting in islam in general.

What I did that saved my ass BIG TIME was start reading the koran, and I'd walk into islamic prayer sessions several times a month and act like I was muslim. If people asked I'd just say I was curious about the religion. And I never converted but this allowed me to get in good with the muslims. Afterwards I had DOZENS of situations, death threats, all types of shit that could have led to a much worse situation had the muslims not had my back. I deeply advise you consider this and become fond with them. They are very loyal to each other and will kill for you if they just see you are interested in islamic religion. So take my word for it and if things get tough at all that was something I wound up doing that really made the rest of my bid a breeze. But the first 6 months were pretty rough prior to that. 4 fights all over nothing and then a death threat which got me thrown in lock up for 9 days. Wound up running into a wall and tried to kill myself. After that was when I began to realize I needed a more functional strategy to doing time, and lucky for me I actually found one.
 
well,I am female and in the UK
I don't think our jails(prison and jail is the same thing over here)are as tough as yours,with the gangs and all that
and female jails are definitely not as tough as male facilities
I'm not all that worried about the time inside apart from having to do a pretty fast detox
As I said,I am more concerned about breaking the news to my family
I answer bail tomorrow so will know more then about my fate
 
Good luck kkattastic, I've seen your posts in EADD.. will have everything crossed for you!

We'll cross the bridge of telling your family etc tomorrow when you know more - but you're a strong lady from your posts, you can do this, whatever the outcome tomorrow!

Do you have anyone at all you could see today, a good friend who will understand how low you are and that you might not be up to much? I think it would be good to be with someone, waiting can be horrible.. good luck, I hope today passes easily and everything goes as well as it can tomorrow <3
 
effie said:
Good luck kkattastic, I've seen your posts in EADD.. will have everything crossed for you!

We'll cross the bridge of telling your family etc tomorrow when you know more - but you're a strong lady from your posts, you can do this, whatever the outcome tomorrow!

Do you have anyone at all you could see today, a good friend who will understand how low you are and that you might not be up to much? I think it would be good to be with someone, waiting can be horrible.. good luck, I hope today passes easily and everything goes as well as it can tomorrow <3
Click to expand...

just me,my dog and the voices in my head
 
Ahh I'm glad you've got your dog with you at least!

Hope you're holding up okay kkat. Things will be okay in the end. It's really shitty to be facing jail over a drugs charge but even if the worst come to the worst you will get through it. Families tend to come round, too.. usuall these things aren't as bad as we think they are going to be. Take care of yourself, and let us know how you go tomorrow..
 
I think that as hard as it is, honesty is always the best thing for families (and it is usually what they suck at! :)) Sometimes when it is too difficult to say things face to face or on the phone, writing can be very profound. You can take your time and express everything carefully rather than blurting things out and then being misunderstood, etc.

I'm not sure if your family even knows you are going to court or have charges against you. I think that the best thing for you and for them is to say: here is what is happening to me. Here is how I feel about it. I feel ____ about it. I am worried that you will feel _____about it. I need_____from you. What do you need from me? etc.

You want their support and they want you to be okay. I am assuming that those two things are true. The best way to put everyone's mind at ease is to cut right through the usual obstacles to meaningful communication and deal with it openly. That's my opinion but it is based on zero knowledge of your particular family and your relationship with them. I hope it helps. And just for the record, I am a mom and my son did get in trouble with the law over drugs and though he never went to jail, I spent quite a bit of time getting an education about the American judicial system with him8( and I knitted a lot of scarves!

Good luck. Be brave and don't let it touch your self-respect.<3
 
herbavore said:
I think that as hard as it is, honesty is always the best thing for families (and it is usually what they suck at! :)) Sometimes when it is too difficult to say things face to face or on the phone, writing can be very profound. You can take your time and express everything carefully rather than blurting things out and then being misunderstood, etc.

I'm not sure if your family even knows you are going to court or have charges against you. I think that the best thing for you and for them is to say: here is what is happening to me. Here is how I feel about it. I feel ____ about it. I am worried that you will feel _____about it. I need_____from you. What do you need from me? etc.

You want their support and they want you to be okay. I am assuming that those two things are true. The best way to put everyone's mind at ease is to cut right through the usual obstacles to meaningful communication and deal with it openly. That's my opinion but it is based on zero knowledge of your particular family and your relationship with them. I hope it helps. And just for the record, I am a mom and my son did get in trouble with the law over drugs and though he never went to jail, I spent quite a bit of time getting an education about the American judicial system with him8( and I knitted a lot of scarves!

Good luck. Be brave and don't let it touch your self-respect.<3
Click to expand...

I know that your advice is spot on and that is exactly what I should do
I have already told my kids(who are 17&19),but it's my parents I am struggling with
I am pretty close with them but they have no idea about anything yet
If I get charged tomorrow,then I suppose I will have to tell them as they will need to help move my stuff out of my house and look after my dog when i go down
of course it is not 100% that I will get a custodial sentence,but considering the evidence that they have,I am pretty certain
I have plans to continue my university degree whilst inside-once I get past the detox I do plan to use my time in a positive way
I know my family will be ok once they get over the shock of it
but my mum will make me feel so shamed every time I see her or speak to her
that's what she did when she found out I had a habit-when I asked them for help to get clean
 
kkattastic said:
well,I am female and in the UK
I don't think our jails(prison and jail is the same thing over here)are as tough as yours,with the gangs and all that
and female jails are definitely not as tough as male facilities
I'm not all that worried about the time inside apart from having to do a pretty fast detox
As I said,I am more concerned about breaking the news to my family
I answer bail tomorrow so will know more then about my fate
Click to expand...

Ok did not notice that then yeh obviously disregard what I wrote lol.

For male inmates in america its pretty rough I had no idea the Uk prisons were peaceful like that but when you said you're female that does definitely changed the game around in terms of violence. At least consider yourself lucky in that respect.

People already addressed the family thing so good luck. Don't have much to say about that. My family found out about my crime in the paper (1st degree maintaining & operating cds production facility), so I never really had a situation where I had to break things to them. I simply called them from jail first day I was in and noone said a word to anyone. We both cried back and forth and untill they hung up the phone on me basically. But after that everything was fine and they accepted it. I almost wish I could have been more concerned about what my family would think just so I didn't have to obsess so much about what might happen to me behind the wall. Don't wanna say you're lucky, but really you could have much more horrible things to worry about than dissappointing your family.

Take care.
 
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bailed again until 25th november
the CPS are still mulling it over
another 2 weeks but at least i won't be locked up for christmas
 
Kkat, been wanting to post all week on this, but Herbavore has made anything I could say redundant anyways. My experience is of short term sentences ((( <= 3 months ))) in men's local prisons which ain't very relevant to female prisons or the regimes in longer term nicks either.

If you don't mind me asking, are you a co-accused? IME police just come right out and charge with at least posess / possess with intent supply for any substantial quantity of class As / Bs right off the bat, and worry about dropping the charge later if they ain't got sufficient evidence against you personally. What's taking them so long to decide? Can only imagine it's because they've got someone else more properly in the frame so they have less of an interest in you?
 
Yeah-they caught the guy I had been supplying-some 20 months ago i might add
so when they came for me 3 months ago there was no physical evidence whatsoever
they have a lot of deleted text messages and bank records showing cash moving
aside from that there were just 2 plants and some ready to smoke i had when they came to get me
the police that are doing me are from suffolk and i am in west mids-so different and distant constabulary
problem for me is the quantities involved were large-and class A, and the money was well,quite a lot
 
Bojangles69 said:
Look bro if you want solid advice I've done some time & had it pretty rough while I was in the first 6 months.

After that I learned a secret there is a certain protocol to how you should behave but it would take too long to explain. The gist however is to always be on top of your mood because behind the wall you get depressed, people around you are depressed, and that is what leads to shit most of the time.

You happen to be in a funk, the guy next to you in the bathroom just had a bad visit with his family... you accidentally forget to courtesy flush... he says something with the wrong tone,, and bam before you know it you're both throwing knuckles and going at it hard. That is ALWAYS how I saw fights happen. People are always repressing anger in the joint so you need to get that shit out before negative shit occurs. My way of coping was running/lifting nonstop whether I was in my cell stand running or on the rec pile lifting weights. But you SHOULD absolutely get into a workout regime asap. Not just to get in shape but so you are able to deal with stress more effectively as there is tons of stress in prison.

Most important and this is the secret I was refering too. You will notice in prison there are tons of muslim people. There are also bloods/crips/saints/mm and all those types of things. However, what you won't realize is the muslims are the toughest gang behind the walls. But they don't operate or come off like a gang at all. They do their own thing usually only with other muslims or people who are interesting in islam in general.

What I did that saved my ass BIG TIME was start reading the koran, and I'd walk into islamic prayer sessions several times a month and act like I was muslim. If people asked I'd just say I was curious about the religion. And I never converted but this allowed me to get in good with the muslims. Afterwards I had DOZENS of situations, death threats, all types of shit that could have led to a much worse situation had the muslims not had my back. I deeply advise you consider this and become fond with them. They are very loyal to each other and will kill for you if they just see you are interested in islamic religion. So take my word for it and if things get tough at all that was something I wound up doing that really made the rest of my bid a breeze. But the first 6 months were pretty rough prior to that. 4 fights all over nothing and then a death threat which got me thrown in lock up for 9 days. Wound up running into a wall and tried to kill myself. After that was when I began to realize I needed a more functional strategy to doing time, and lucky for me I actually found one.
Click to expand...

Your description of a US male prison sounds very much like the TV show 'Oz'
is that true?
Lotsa people in the EADD heroin thread said they love that show
I am thinking of doing some more of my degree if I get any length of time
I am also hoping to sue the council
They won't house anyone with an 'intent to supply' charge
Although I can see their reasoning,they will still house burglars,violent criminals such as murderers and rapists and even those on the sex offenders register,such as paedophiles.
So,I think their reasoning is prejudice against drug users.
It's something to pass the time anyway
 
Glad to hear things aren't as imminent but I'm sure the delay brings stress, too. Hang in there. I think it is great that you plan to work on your degree while you are in, if you do go. Sorry about your mom's attitude. She's only making it worse for herself by shaming you (not to mention how you feel) but some people have a hard time seeing that. Don't internalize it--I know that is easier said than done (every time I give advice like this I remember I started a whole thread about feeling guilty!;))

Well, much<3 to you. Keep us posted.
 
Your Story is very similar to mine..

Kattastic...

Im sorry to hear what you're going through. I was recently arrested with a large amount of cocaine and Im facing prison for an undetermined amount of time. Im in the same situation with telling my parents (which i plan to do soon).
Im not able to travel to my brothers wedding now and im ruining xmas for everyone.

Its so hard to know how much time Im going to get, Im trying to stay positive that I could get house arrest or a halfway house or some kind of alternative. I really don't want to do hard time and have to turn myself into someone totally void of emotion.. and then how do I turn that off when i get out?? I really messed up. I don't want to lose everything! Im worried Ill lose my house and my gf and my cat. I need to know atleast ill still have a place to live when I get out.

Ive never felt like this before Im extremely depressed, I barely can eat or sleep. Everything seems overwhelming.

I know I cant give up! Ive just never been through anything like this in my life. I really know how you feel. I wish the both of us could have stopped before it got to this point.
 
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Hey, Phuct, we are here for you, too, so keep posting. It's scary not knowing what will happen. Are you in the U.S.?
 
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