Hi, I'm new here, but have been active on the site for a long time. I really like this site because of the realistic approach, and because most people here are very experienced with drugs. So I am desperately needing help dealing with a heroin addicted girlfriend, it may be a bit long, but that's because I am going to be 100% honest, all help is appreciated.
I am 20 years old. I grew up a very responsible kid, by choice, my parents were extremely lenient. I graduated high school with a 3.9 GPA, I did great etc, despite having alot of social issues. I have never liked drinking, it isn't my thing, nor do I like smoking pot, which are the two most socially accepted drugs, besides tobacco of course. Anyway I was a very occasional opiate user, I first tried vicodin at about age 17, and I'd do it like every couple months maybe. I was always quite relaxed with it. It never was a big issue really, I had a long relationship with a girl where I never did drugs at all, and it was quite fulfilling.
Fast forward to September 09. I get an apartment, and a very badass job. I am still a very responsible user, but now I have a new girlfriend. I was now a weekend indulger, and maybe used once during the week, always when I hung out with her. I was 18 at this time, she was 16, so she was still considered a juvenile. Anyway her mom would let her out on weekends, and she would usually have a 12 curfew. I was always very respectful to her parents, so they liked me, and would let me over. I would go over after work, usually pretty late night during every week, and always be messed up, but functional, she could not tell. I really just enjoyed the time I had while on vics. Well after quite a few months I was doing oxy, so one weekend I let her try a line, we had a great time. We stayed weekend warriors for months after this, no problem at all. I never sought out a connect, I was making awesome money, it didn't cut into my pockets, and I didn't wanna get a habit.
April 2010 comes, and as you could probably all infer, things eventually go down hill. I get a constant connect for OC80, I know naming prices is against the rules, but lets just say with all the money I had saved, buying in bulk was ridiculous. I could do all I possibly wanted and still make extreme money. I was maybe doing 1/4 of what I bought, and making double my money easily. Well with this we both became daily users, and little did I realize the problems that were coming about, because I was so high all the time. We'd fight quite a bit, drop it like it never happened, fight, be happy it was a rollercoaster. I never realized how your emotions begin to change, it's horrible. We were either on the greatest terms or the worst of terms, I never realized how horrible the lifestyle was.
Fast forward to September 2010. I decided I'd had enough. I went clean for a little while and soon realized how much I changed. I realized how irritable it made me, how I didn't care about anyone but myself, how I depended on it to make me happy, it was what I looked forward to all day etc. So I move away three hours to live with my Dad, and I was totally honest with him about my problem. It was perfect because I could visit her, yet have time to get better too, because I would never get better in that environment. We had tried H a few times, and being that I no longer was getting 80's, around this time she gets an H connect, much like my oxy connect, where she can do all she wants and still make a ton of profit. Mind you I lived 40 mins from the Mexican border, so it is everywhere.
So I clean up, the withdrawls were very hard. For the first month and a half I didn't touch anything, after that I would do it for fun every other weekend when I came down, and still do. I have had the discipline to stick to that, because I believe enjoying opiates is fine, and have done responsibly now for months. Anyway she went right from the daily OC use to daily Heroin use, all smoked if it matters, she is not a mainliner. Since I have cleaned up and am now only an occasional user though, I have started to really take a toll because of the use. I see my image basically, and am ashamed of how I acted. She is incredibly irritable, very little things set her off. She can be clingy one minute, and distant the next, it is absolutely crazy. I have noticed when I do smoke with her when I go down that when she has a little she is usually pretty cool and loving, but once she gets quite high she is irritable, unreasonable etc. and it is so horrible. She threw a bitch fit last time I was down there because she thought I wasn't listening when I was on the phone, but I was. Any little thing will set her off, either that or she is just totally non compassionate and doesn't get a fuck. It is like she isn't even there.
My question is has anyone ever dealt with a situation like mine? Dating an addict is taking a toll on me, and I am not talking down when I say that. I am speaking from the perspective of someone who battled addiction not long ago, and well now it is near impossible to deal with. I broke up with her a month ago because of this, but we are still acting just like boyfriend and girlfriend, and I do love her and want to be with her. She is a marvelous human being, but getting her to stop is near impossible. I am fine with responsible use, but don't want to see her addicted like this. I have confronted her many times, it usually goes nowhere, it totally sucks. I am so tired of my visits being infested with her attitude and shit, it ruins the reason I come down. She keeps saying she will work her way down, and it hasn't been happening. Has anyone else dealt with this shit before? Are the emotional symptoms I described common for Heroin use? Anyone else dealt with women acting like this on Heroin or other drugs? Please help
I am 20 years old. I grew up a very responsible kid, by choice, my parents were extremely lenient. I graduated high school with a 3.9 GPA, I did great etc, despite having alot of social issues. I have never liked drinking, it isn't my thing, nor do I like smoking pot, which are the two most socially accepted drugs, besides tobacco of course. Anyway I was a very occasional opiate user, I first tried vicodin at about age 17, and I'd do it like every couple months maybe. I was always quite relaxed with it. It never was a big issue really, I had a long relationship with a girl where I never did drugs at all, and it was quite fulfilling.
Fast forward to September 09. I get an apartment, and a very badass job. I am still a very responsible user, but now I have a new girlfriend. I was now a weekend indulger, and maybe used once during the week, always when I hung out with her. I was 18 at this time, she was 16, so she was still considered a juvenile. Anyway her mom would let her out on weekends, and she would usually have a 12 curfew. I was always very respectful to her parents, so they liked me, and would let me over. I would go over after work, usually pretty late night during every week, and always be messed up, but functional, she could not tell. I really just enjoyed the time I had while on vics. Well after quite a few months I was doing oxy, so one weekend I let her try a line, we had a great time. We stayed weekend warriors for months after this, no problem at all. I never sought out a connect, I was making awesome money, it didn't cut into my pockets, and I didn't wanna get a habit.
April 2010 comes, and as you could probably all infer, things eventually go down hill. I get a constant connect for OC80, I know naming prices is against the rules, but lets just say with all the money I had saved, buying in bulk was ridiculous. I could do all I possibly wanted and still make extreme money. I was maybe doing 1/4 of what I bought, and making double my money easily. Well with this we both became daily users, and little did I realize the problems that were coming about, because I was so high all the time. We'd fight quite a bit, drop it like it never happened, fight, be happy it was a rollercoaster. I never realized how your emotions begin to change, it's horrible. We were either on the greatest terms or the worst of terms, I never realized how horrible the lifestyle was.
Fast forward to September 2010. I decided I'd had enough. I went clean for a little while and soon realized how much I changed. I realized how irritable it made me, how I didn't care about anyone but myself, how I depended on it to make me happy, it was what I looked forward to all day etc. So I move away three hours to live with my Dad, and I was totally honest with him about my problem. It was perfect because I could visit her, yet have time to get better too, because I would never get better in that environment. We had tried H a few times, and being that I no longer was getting 80's, around this time she gets an H connect, much like my oxy connect, where she can do all she wants and still make a ton of profit. Mind you I lived 40 mins from the Mexican border, so it is everywhere.
So I clean up, the withdrawls were very hard. For the first month and a half I didn't touch anything, after that I would do it for fun every other weekend when I came down, and still do. I have had the discipline to stick to that, because I believe enjoying opiates is fine, and have done responsibly now for months. Anyway she went right from the daily OC use to daily Heroin use, all smoked if it matters, she is not a mainliner. Since I have cleaned up and am now only an occasional user though, I have started to really take a toll because of the use. I see my image basically, and am ashamed of how I acted. She is incredibly irritable, very little things set her off. She can be clingy one minute, and distant the next, it is absolutely crazy. I have noticed when I do smoke with her when I go down that when she has a little she is usually pretty cool and loving, but once she gets quite high she is irritable, unreasonable etc. and it is so horrible. She threw a bitch fit last time I was down there because she thought I wasn't listening when I was on the phone, but I was. Any little thing will set her off, either that or she is just totally non compassionate and doesn't get a fuck. It is like she isn't even there.
My question is has anyone ever dealt with a situation like mine? Dating an addict is taking a toll on me, and I am not talking down when I say that. I am speaking from the perspective of someone who battled addiction not long ago, and well now it is near impossible to deal with. I broke up with her a month ago because of this, but we are still acting just like boyfriend and girlfriend, and I do love her and want to be with her. She is a marvelous human being, but getting her to stop is near impossible. I am fine with responsible use, but don't want to see her addicted like this. I have confronted her many times, it usually goes nowhere, it totally sucks. I am so tired of my visits being infested with her attitude and shit, it ruins the reason I come down. She keeps saying she will work her way down, and it hasn't been happening. Has anyone else dealt with this shit before? Are the emotional symptoms I described common for Heroin use? Anyone else dealt with women acting like this on Heroin or other drugs? Please help
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