Day 2.5

Why are the evenings always the hardest!?
I was lucky enough to receive some unexpected cash earlier today, enough that I could spare a few bags worth anyway. I text my man but for some reason he didn't reply, and while stting and waiting for him to do so I kind of realized... what's the point?
It's not like I'm sick, I've had my Methadone today so there's no physical need for it. And what will it do? If I'm lucky I'll get really fucked for an hour at most, at worst I'll get a little rush and a few minutes of feeling 'high'.
Is it really worth it? Tomorrow morning when I'm once again out of drugs / money and am in the EXACT same situation as I am now, will it be worth it then?
I guess this is what they call will power, I'm not expecting it to last but it does make a nice change from 'I have money? excuse me while I fire it all into my arm as fast as possible' route that I normally take

Total saved: £70

 

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Where's that pesky delete button when you need it!?

Your totally right man its pointless to spend the last of our money for what? to feel som what normal again.. and then 2mara ur back to day 1 with no cash and u cant even get a bagel.. ima b strong and focus on the future so i can get my shit together.. thanks