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Dating someone who doesn't do drugs? Possible?

I think there's a big line with this. I have no problems dating someone who doesn't use drugs, who simply doesn't enjoy them or feel like the risks are worth it for what she gets from it.

However, the way I see it is - if someone thought my interest in computers was stupid and wanted me to change, then we're probably not compatible people since it's one of my interests and always has been, so a relationship would be a bad idea. Similarly drugs are another interest, so if you have opposing views and neither of you are willing to compromise then the relationship is probably doomed from the start.

tl;dr version: I can date someone who doesn't use drugs happily, but I would never date someone who looked down at me for my use.
 
I personally think that with enough love, understanding, and either a very free-spirited user or a responsible user who can moderate when required, it can work. If the non-druggie person uses alcohol in above-Amish amounts and with the goal of getting intoxicated, this can help create a "balance" - good luck trying with a teetotaller.
I've seen relationships between drug users and non-users attempted various times by friends and acquaintances, and with people that use anything (other than alcohol) say more than once or twice a month, even cannabis, it generally generates problems. I have seen every single one end in a break-up within 12 months, with one acquaintance couple currently going at it with 6-7 months on the clock.

Generally, problems arise when either the drug user blatantly ignores the needs of the other person, or the other person is completely unreasonable with their demands. A frequent issue I've seen is that as soon as any kind of arguments or problems arise, the non-user points to the drugs as the immediate culprit. If the user disagrees, or claims "I don't have to be high, but I want to", he/she is labeled as being in denial and defending their own problematic addiction.

It's a recipe for disaster, generally speaking, but never say never.
 
Psychonauticunt said:
I personally think that with enough love, understanding, and either a very free-spirited user or a responsible user who can moderate when required, it can work. If the non-druggie person uses alcohol in above-Amish amounts and with the goal of getting intoxicated, this can help create a "balance" - good luck trying with a teetotaller.
I've seen relationships between drug users and non-users attempted various times by friends and acquaintances, and with people that use anything (other than alcohol) say more than once or twice a month, even cannabis, it generally generates problems. I have seen every single one end in a break-up within 12 months, with one acquaintance couple currently going at it with 6-7 months on the clock.

Generally, problems arise when either the drug user blatantly ignores the needs of the other person, or the other person is completely unreasonable with their demands. A frequent issue I've seen is that as soon as any kind of arguments or problems arise, the non-user points to the drugs as the immediate culprit. If the user disagrees, or claims "I don't have to be high, but I want to", he/she is labeled as being in denial and defending their own problematic addiction.

It's a recipe for disaster, generally speaking, but never say never.
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Yup, that's my experience in a nutshell with myself and friends.

"I don't have to be high, but I want to"
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Oh man, I've definitely said that before haha.
 
I never had problems with that, I was on amphetamines and smoking weed all the time when I met my first girlfriend and she was sober other then the occasional beer. It always hits me by suprise that people are against drugs because they are fully integrated in my life, I sometimes forget that hehe... If a woman has qualms with my choice of ingesting chemicals she can either accept it or leave. There are already enough rules that I am obliged to follow and i'd rather not waste my life trying to get together with someone who inhibits me.
 
I have had my last two attempts to have relationships with non-drug users fail. Both were caused by their children getting into trouble with cannabis at school. The teens in both live-in relationships blamed my medical use of cannabis for them trying it. Neither was able to admit to peer pressure, and neither obtained the cannabis they were caught with, from me. The last woman I was with for almost 5 years before it ended. I have been single since the last relationship, and plan to stay a batchelor for the forseeable future. I will not take the blame for "ruining" another child's life, or causing problems for anyone else. If the next woman to want to be romantically involved with her has children, it's a deal breaker, if she is not 100% supportive of my cannabis use, then use the door. She does not need to be a smoker, just understanding that I would need to take pills that change who I am without having cannabis to use for pain relief. I am not sure that anyone without chronic pain can relate to my mental state, so may be wating to try a relationship with another medical cannabis patient. There are success stories posted above, and many happy pot smokers with non-smoker life partners out there. IF my canabis use were recreational, then my choice would still be for someone accepting of it's use. I have abused alcohol badly when I was in my teens, and 20's, but no longer get drunk. I would choose cannabis over any other intoxicant for recreation, were it not a doctor reccomended pain reliever for me already. I hope this helps give some perspective for those interested.
Thanks for reading !
<KZ>
 
I couldn't be with a girl that does "hard drugs," but I would probably prefer that the girl smokes weed. I don't even smoke at the moment, and can do without it, but weed usually tones a girl down a bit, and keeps her from being too bitchy and snobby. Weed allows you to look at yourself from a different perspective, and change what you may not like.

I can't be with a girl that does more drugs than me though, because I need someone who will keep me grounded.
 
blue valentine said:
Definitely possible. My husband smoked tons of pot--shit, he even grew it--and I just didn't. And it obviously didn't bother me that he did.

But, maybe it was possible because I do other drugs, so it wasn't like I was all straight disapproving of him smoking pot. I do drugs myself, just pot isn't one of them.
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Pretty much the same thing I was gonna post. My ex smoked weed every day and I never smoke but it didn't matter to me. But I also use other drugs.

I dated a girl who didn't do any drugs once and it only lasted a few months. I don't think I'd be with someone who doesn't enjoy using drugs occasionally again. Because doing drugs with the person you're dating rules.
 
Right now, I think drugs simply have too big of a part in my life for me to be able to get into a relationship with someone who doesn't do them. It's not so much the use, but the fact that I am all together fascinated by drugs, how they work, their chemistry, culture, experimenting etc. I love to talk about it and would want someone who could understand and with whom I could discuss drug-related stuff, not just someone who would listen and doesn't have any experiences of their own. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to be with an addict. So I guess for me personally that narrows it down to recreational users, heh.
In the end it's all about the type of person you and your significant other are. You can make it work, as long as they aren't completely anti-drug and are okay with your drug use, and your use doesn't represent a problem to your relationship (in other words, you aren't a full-blown addict). That's from what I've observed.
 
k1ndz0n3 said:
I have had my last two attempts to have relationships with non-drug users fail. Both were caused by their children getting into trouble with cannabis at school. The teens in both live-in relationships blamed my medical use of cannabis for them trying it. Neither was able to admit to peer pressure, and neither obtained the cannabis they were caught with, from me. The last woman I was with for almost 5 years before it ended. I have been single since the last relationship, and plan to stay a batchelor for the forseeable future. I will not take the blame for "ruining" another child's life, or causing problems for anyone else. If the next woman to want to be romantically involved with her has children, it's a deal breaker, if she is not 100% supportive of my cannabis use, then use the door. She does not need to be a smoker, just understanding that I would need to take pills that change who I am without having cannabis to use for pain relief. I am not sure that anyone without chronic pain can relate to my mental state, so may be wating to try a relationship with another medical cannabis patient. There are success stories posted above, and many happy pot smokers with non-smoker life partners out there. IF my canabis use were recreational, then my choice would still be for someone accepting of it's use. I have abused alcohol badly when I was in my teens, and 20's, but no longer get drunk. I would choose cannabis over any other intoxicant for recreation, were it not a doctor reccomended pain reliever for me already. I hope this helps give some perspective for those interested.
Thanks for reading !
<KZ>
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Sorry to hear that man, 5 years is a long time. Chicks with kids are especially difficult to work with. Obviously they don't want your pot smoking to influence their kids which is understandable, to a point. But I don't imagine you were waving it in their faces or blazing around them. That and since the pot they were caught with wasn't even yours, it's obvious they're getting influenced elsewhere. Just get yourself out there and make it apparent to any females your introducing yourself to that you partake. Offer to smoke a joint with them and if they decline, fuck 'em (not literally haha). They're out there man, that's for sure.

After dating the girl I'm currently seeing I don't think I would ever go back to someone who doesn't enjoy getting high. She's open to try pretty much anything and would never ever judge me based on my drug use. And like someone mentioned, getting high with your girlfriend rules. On anything, weed, MDMA, LSD, Ketamine, she's always right there with me. <3
 
For a while I was dating a girl who didn't do drugs at all (though she started taking soma when she went out, as a substitute for alcohol, which didn't agree with her stomach), while I was at the height of my RC-collecting, and she didn't have a problem with it. So, it is possible. We parted ways for unrelated reasons, and drugs were never a problem between us. .
 
I used to only date other drug users. Those relationships all ended for different reasons, but drugs had nothing to do with it. Then one day I met this one special girl. She didn't use drugs at all, not even alcohol. She didn't mind me using drugs, though. 6 months after we met, she moved into my place. 6 months after that we got married. Starting a relationship with her turned out to be the best decision of my life.

She wasn't interested in drugs at all for the first few years, but she eventually tried my cannabis edibles. Now she gets high with me sometimes. She's talking about trying ecstasy or shrooms with me someday. That would be awesome, but I'll love her even if she spends the rest of her life sober. I think the key to a happy relationship is to find someone who accepts you for who you are. I could never be with a controlling woman who wanted me to stay sober every day. At the same time, I'll never tell my wife that she has to get high with me. We don't share all the same interests in life, but we do love and accept each other for who we are.
 
A little late, but I feel I must share:

My mum (aged 48 ) is dating an elderly barber (aged 79), and I can feel the oxytocin radiating off them in waves (listened to mum talk about him for about an hour last night while mashed and I nearly cried because it felt so poetic ... anyway) whenever they're around. On topic, my mum, like me, is a pretty regular marijuana smoker (we both use medicinally). She was very open to him about it from the go and now he asks her how she's doing on her "prescription," if she "needs a refill," and is generally pleasant about the whole thing, even though the hardest he'll go is a couple of beers on the weekend.

So yes, it does happen (and I have witnessed it) - but I know there are many, many factors that can ruin a relationship, and if your bloke/lady resents you for anything, I guarantee they will try to blame it on the drugs. Not to say drugs can't fuck up lives, but it's a dodgy enough subject without added drama in the mix.
 
I did this for two years and basically this is what all of our arguments were about. IT ended up with her cheating (I never cheated) because her reasoning was "doing drugs is worse than cheating" WTF??!!! Well anyways it's possible but you'll probably argue about it alot.
 
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