SuperPsych
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2012
- Messages
- 1,088
I've been struggling with this thought recently, myself. I switched from 35mg adderall back to 54mg Methylphenidate and my quality of life has gone down. I mean, I was already in a tough spot with my mental health but overall was doing okay with life, mainly just mental health stuff. Once I switched back to Methylphenidate, my intrusive thoughts became much louder, I suddenly seemed unable to find the drive to engage in hobbies, let alone things like making Doctors appointments and chores and stuff. So that's partially what got me here. I have tons of experience with meth over the last nearly 15 years. Plenty of Addiction/Relapse/Sobriety/Relapse cycles.
One thing that I have learned over the years: No matter how well I am doing in life, no matter how much of a grasp I have on my addictions, no matter how well things are going at work or with family or in terms of personal growth; every single time that I feel like I'd be able to take 30mg or less a day of meth in order to medicate my ADHD, it NEVER works. I never even make it a day. It damn near seems that the moment that even a single molecule of methamphetamine hits my system, I am fucked. Meth hijacks my soul and body like no other. Once I have a taste I am going until I simply can't any longer.
I used to be very heavily addicted to Adderall and things like 4fa, 2FMA, 3FMA, as well as Pyrovalerones. When I was recently prescribed 35mg of Adderall, it didn't feel good like it did when I was using it a lot `4-15 years ago. It used to feel fantastic. Now it doesn't really feel good BUT it did retain therapeutic effect and I was able to take it without burning my life down around me. I still would seem to binge more often than I would like (usually when I got my refill), and then would feel ashamed and guilty because I had to ration for the rest of the month, but for the most part it did improve my life as my ADHD symptoms are extremely distressing. I intend to go back eventually. My home life is just stressful and is tied into my PTSD symptoms. Overtime, the stress and feelings of fight or flight while at home + the stimulation and heavier dopamine/norepinephrine punch of adderall started to make my thoughts a bit more chaotic. Or at least I couldn't rule it out. Regardless, as a precaution I asked my doctor if I could switch back to Methylphenidate. I have an appointment with him in a few days and will ask about switching back to adderall when my home-life improves
Is your D-AMP prescribed or attained through diversion? IF it is prescribed to you, then I recommend talking to your doctor about a dose increase. If you attain it through other means, then I would look into amphetamine paste or Isopropylphenidate before resorting to meth, and that's coming from someone who was thinking about ordering some last night for the exact reason you stated.
One thing that I have learned over the years: No matter how well I am doing in life, no matter how much of a grasp I have on my addictions, no matter how well things are going at work or with family or in terms of personal growth; every single time that I feel like I'd be able to take 30mg or less a day of meth in order to medicate my ADHD, it NEVER works. I never even make it a day. It damn near seems that the moment that even a single molecule of methamphetamine hits my system, I am fucked. Meth hijacks my soul and body like no other. Once I have a taste I am going until I simply can't any longer.
I used to be very heavily addicted to Adderall and things like 4fa, 2FMA, 3FMA, as well as Pyrovalerones. When I was recently prescribed 35mg of Adderall, it didn't feel good like it did when I was using it a lot `4-15 years ago. It used to feel fantastic. Now it doesn't really feel good BUT it did retain therapeutic effect and I was able to take it without burning my life down around me. I still would seem to binge more often than I would like (usually when I got my refill), and then would feel ashamed and guilty because I had to ration for the rest of the month, but for the most part it did improve my life as my ADHD symptoms are extremely distressing. I intend to go back eventually. My home life is just stressful and is tied into my PTSD symptoms. Overtime, the stress and feelings of fight or flight while at home + the stimulation and heavier dopamine/norepinephrine punch of adderall started to make my thoughts a bit more chaotic. Or at least I couldn't rule it out. Regardless, as a precaution I asked my doctor if I could switch back to Methylphenidate. I have an appointment with him in a few days and will ask about switching back to adderall when my home-life improves
Is your D-AMP prescribed or attained through diversion? IF it is prescribed to you, then I recommend talking to your doctor about a dose increase. If you attain it through other means, then I would look into amphetamine paste or Isopropylphenidate before resorting to meth, and that's coming from someone who was thinking about ordering some last night for the exact reason you stated.
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