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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

cutting

^ not helping.

people deal with things differently. thats just rhe way the world works. some people fel compelled to mutilate themselves. compelled, do you know what that means? it means it isnt just a weekend hobby for them, or something they tried once because it sounded cool.

some times this is the only outlet available to sooth those crazy fucked up emotions. its a deep deep psychological issue, something that isnt just going to go away because theres a 'better' way to deal.
 
^ True you can only do your best , but one point made by the skahead was relevant ( I think ) that was talking to people whom you do not know personally and whom ought to be non judgemental, then you might find that it's possible to become far more open/honest perhaps with them and maybe yourself.
 
^for some people, perhaps that is true...but for me (and i would imagine at least some other cutters) a serious lack of connection with my own emotions is the real problem. apathy and numbness have taken over my life so strongly that i cannot even begin to think about, much less talk about, what makes me cut (although i have been much better about it since doing e with my sister and talking to her about it...which speaks volumes about mdma's theraputic potential in my opinion). trying to talk to a therapist really was not helpful for me...does anyone else find a similar problem?

also, one of my friends, a recovered bulimic (after twelve weeks in the hospital two years ago), was talking to me recently and mentioned that when she was younger she had always envisioned herself as having an eating disorder when she was older. when i was in middle school, i used to write poems and stories about cutting. did anyone else know when they were little that they were going to have these problems?
 
acidapples said:
did anyone else know when they were little that they were going to have these problems?
Click to expand...

I did, since I had the most severe problems in my youngest years. It was exactly like you described, lack of connection with my own emotions. Things I just wasn't capable of feeling.
 
thanks, zophen.

your right, tomorrow is a new day. im a strong believer in new beginnings; you make each and ever day, and (good or bad) they are your own.

i dont know why i did it. nothing really happened, nothing triggered it. maybe its just been building up? i hate to whine and when i feel depressed i look at it as a weakness, ya know? i hate myself for being so weak sometimes... like why cant i just deal? why cant i let shit go...
 
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