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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Cutting v. 2

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Someone interjected some levity into a post here in cutters, in many situations levity is a good thing. In cutters though it tends to upset people so I am UAing or editing out the joke and allusions to it. When people get light or whimsical about cutting it tends to pull the whole thread off topic ime.

I know everyone here had good intentions. I have to make sure this thread stays on point about helping people with self injury issues . :)
 
I broke down. Just couldn't take it. Razor blade all up and down my arm, even where ppl can see. Long leaves outside, in the summer, at my brother's graduation party....I'm a fucking idiot. Its such a horrible feeling when my bf opens the bathroom door cause he knows what I'm doing, sees my arm just covered in blood. God knows what he is thinking. Somedays I wish he would come in sooner and talk me out of it. I'm such an idiot. Just destroying everything at this point.
 
i believe that if i was depressed and wanted to cut myself, someone offering a walk would just get me more upset. when depression is that deep, im pretty sure all of the normal getting-high-on-life options have been exhausted ad nauseum. not tryin to bash ya enki!! but i think we gotta think a little harder on this sort of thing

hayyzz, rarely, i do find myself in a similar situation, where i feel depressed and angry and betrayed by those closest, and eg during a bout of depression i squeezed myself really hard with my nails that need to be cut

self harm, it just perpetuates the cycle doesnt it?

though ive often noticed with depression in myself and others, the depression itself seems to try to increase itself. as if it's alive. (as with many psychological things)

i hope you can feel better soon. a walk actually is good advice though, if you can get yourself outside, if you can let yourself focus on how beautiful the world is

you probably don't care, right now, about the world or your body, but this is temporary. and while it is inevitable that every once in a while you get betrayed, it is important not to "learn" from it (well you gotta learn from it, but i mean, don't "learn" that "all people are bad and will take advantage of you"). it's hard when you're betrayed by those you let into your soul. but you gotta get yourself able to trust again, or you will become as hardened and mean as your betrayor :(
 
qwe said:
i believe that if i was depressed and wanted to cut myself, someone offering a walk would just get me more upset. when depression is that deep, im pretty sure all of the normal getting-high-on-life options have been exhausted ad nauseum. not tryin to bash ya enki!! but i think we gotta think a little harder on this sort of thing
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Sometimes this is true and sometimes it is something as simple as a walk or keeping occupied that will get someone through.......
I wouldn't dismiss that advice..........
 
Pillthrill said:
I broke down. Just couldn't take it. Razor blade all up and down my arm, even where ppl can see. Long leaves outside, in the summer, at my brother's graduation party....I'm a fucking idiot. Its such a horrible feeling when my bf opens the bathroom door cause he knows what I'm doing, sees my arm just covered in blood. God knows what he is thinking. Somedays I wish he would come in sooner and talk me out of it. I'm such an idiot. Just destroying everything at this point.
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At this point my friends just think that I love wearing long sleeved shirts..
 
I could just saw through my fucking wrist right now. I fucking hate this shit. Drugs or cut, there is no other way to cope. Why even bother?
 
Should be, restarting them. takes awhile to work. Don't worry. I'm too big of a baby when it comes to pain to off myself that way or anything. I just wanna cut really bad...and I can't.
 
hang in there then. youre in TDS, does that mean youve recently gotten off of drugs? are you in w/d from anything?

how do the meds work when youre on em?

why do you say you cant cut, are people on your back about it, checking? just curious

of course, you don't have to answer any of these questions, they are rather personal. communication with bluelight, though, it seems to help :)
 
The arm I cut is the arm they test my blood pressure on at the doctor's office.. Could they take my Xanax script away from me?

Damnit I don't think things through..
 
^ doubt it.

I'm trying to use less Tramadol and Fioricet, I was up to daily use.
I was taking Lamictal to stablize my mood and quiting was a bad idea. It really does help with the symptoms of depression and Borderline Personality Disorder.
I can't cut because people will see, I will disappoint and hurt my bf and I'm so sick and tired of hiding and the scars.
 
Could they take my Xanax script away from me?
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I very much doubt it especially since taking away your script may make you worse. Also if youve been on a steady dose of xanax for awile they can't cut you off since you will get benzo withdrawals. So i wouldnt worry about that too much.

The past few days ive felt like taking a razor blade to my arm. I don't know why but i do. It's not just the depression maybe it's just that i want to feel something. Anything but this fucking hole in my life :( .
 
When I get really pissed/hurt and need somewhere to send the bullshit in my head, I usually take great joy in breaking shit. Unfortunately that's often times my cell phone :(

Maybe some of you should try just fragile shit for cheap and finding some place to just fuck shit up, go all out crazy on it. Take baseball bats lamps, it's really fulfilling and doesn't cause physical harm.

I've never had a really strong urge to harm myself so maybe I'm approaching this wrong.
 
^ my bf does that. Shoes, Phones, PS3, tears apart his MP3 player.
Kinda scares me sometimes...
 
when i'm real depressed and angry, a couple times i've thrown my cell phone across the room. i think everyone's learned that their cell phones are real resilient :) in fact i just accidentally dropped it in a puddle and it shattered, it was all the way in the water and the battery and circuitry was exposed. still works!

breaking things can help release negative emotions, usually i just imagine myself rampaging rather than actually doing anything (if i do something, it's never more than throw my phone). this is rare since i'm generally a happy person

if you do do this, just try to make sure it doesn't spiral your negative emotions *upward* by feeding them!
 
I cut just 3 lil cuts last night, saw a little blood, didn't know that I still had salt on my fingers. I went to wipe off the blood and it burned. Well it kinda made me need to cut less, cause it had more pain.
 
PT, I know you're having a rough time at the moment but you should try to stop this new cutting cycle before it gets out of hand. You know how addictive it can be and how hard it is to stop. Please try some other methods of release instead of cutting. Talk to Sean about it, let him help you.
Stay safe hun <3
 
Well I guess one can be somewhat thankful that razor blades used to chopping pills don't do well for cutting the skin. You're right, I have to try to avoid it as hard as I can. I went months without it and once you get started again you get to the point where you can't or well, don't really want to stop...
Right now I'm better, no longer bothered by want was encouraging the negative feelings.
 
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