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cutters - you are not alone. (merged)

cutting/pulling out hair= same results... but its way harder to wear a hat all day than to just put on a sweater.

blah... i try to stop... im ok for a few days of so, then some shit goes horribly horribly wrong and before i know whats happening im in my room with my knife.

.........i think i've pretty much given up hope of stopping...because without cutting it would be nearly impossible for me to deal with half the crap in my life. still...id much rather not. anyone out there got any tips or tricks to maybe..get my mind off things and maybe make it so i dont have to cut so much just to stay relatively sane????? like something to do when you find yourself reaching for the knife/glass shard/random sharp object. anyone??? maybe something to help you realize what you're doing and make you stop n think about it?
 
^^^The thing that makes it difficult to stop is that it's a coping mechanism...when you can't see a way of making your life any better then you need to work on the mechanism you're using to cope with it being so shit.

I've always said that I cut so I don't have to kill myself. It's the only way to make the pain bearable enough to live through it. I haven't cut for 6 months now, and I'm very happy about that, but it wasn't because I found something else to take its place; I changed the circumstances of my life that were making me require a coping mechanism in the first place. In other words I moved interstate because there was a lot about my life in Melbourne that try as I might, I couldn't control...so I had to get away from it.

I don't know if any of this is making a great deal of sense...I guess what I'm saying is that the best way to stop cutting is to change whatever's happening in your life that makes you want to cut in the first place...no matter how drastic that change has to be.

Also though, I think there's a real danger in thinking "I'll never do that again". I'm glad I haven't done it in so long and I am proud of myself, but the minute I start thinking I'm above all that, the more it's gonna shatter my self-esteem if I ever do cut myself again. I think it's healthier to take it one day at a time.
 
k... how about it some of the more important reasons for needing cutting to cope cant be readily changed....any ideas?
 
^^^I can't remember the name of the site, but I'm pretty sure it's referenced at the beginning of this thread...there's a site by and for cutters which goes into a lot of different methods you can use to replace cutting; they work to different degrees...I found for myself for example that sometimes if I draw what I want to do on a sheet of paper and write angry/hurt stuff in a journal/poetry/whatever, that helps a lot of the time.

Other people find it helps to draw on themselves in red texta so it looks like blood. It sounds silly, and I was sceptical at first, but it is worth giving this stuff a try.

EDIT: I looked it up....the site I was talking about is called Secret Shame, you can find a link here for the page where the author discusses various alternatives to cutting. I hope this is helpful for you. :)
 
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^^^
Yeah, there are a load of little things you can do. I heard that running your hand under a cold tap until it goes really numb can help (note* Don't use ice as this will cause damage to the skin and remove the whole point of the exercise). Also, wrapping an elastic band around your wrist (again, use common sense, don't do it too tightly that it will cause tissue damage!) is helpful apparently.
Another really good method that helps loads of people is to get a punch bag.
But of course, as said above, the only real way of stopping is to get to understand why you do it. I suppose it's like drug addiction, once you understand why you are doing it, you can get to the root of the problem. It makes it ten times easier....Some people need assistance with a professional, some people can help themselves by talking it over with friends.
I'm pleased to say I haven't cut in about a month and a half now, don't feel the need too either (but I know that could easily change), I think the reason for that is because i've finally got my head together a bit and worked out what I needed to do. Also the last time I cut I cut far too deep and I was drunk so I bled more and it really did scare my into wanting to try to stop...
Anyways, best of luck
 
thanx heaps Dr.Seuss for starting this thread, ive always wondered why it feels so good and now i know.

For as long as I can remember i've always picked scabs and picked at the skin around my fingernails to the point of bleeding, wonder if this is a childhood precursor for self harming tendacies?

I punch with a punching bag most nights for fitness and I find that offers me little release at all.

Although I've never cut myself (I cannot stand knifes) i often punch myself in the face or stomach(this can fucking hurt really bad if you hit the right spot) or hit stuff just because i'm often so depressed and angry. I think i've broken or badly bruised a bone inside my hand from smashing my fist down on my bench, everytime I do it it hurts even more but that feeling I get makes it so worthwhile. I punched a wall yesterday as hard as I could and my knuckles went blue and swelled up and I didn't feel any pain only pleasure, nothing else in my life makes me feel like that, intoxicating drugs just provide a false sense of happiness this is real!

I don't even know why i started, but I know why I keep doing it.
 
Raz said:
I've always said that I cut so I don't have to kill myself. It's the only way to make the pain bearable enough to live through it.
Click to expand...

This is the reason why I was a cutter for a number of years. And thinking back now to that time, I can't easily wrap my head around it. It was a completely different mindset for me. From some precipitating event, or sometimes for no real cause at all, I would become so desperate just to see some resolution. I wanted everything to end. I was so tired. I wanted to stop feeling, thinking, being. I'd become so obsessed with that idea that it was impossible to ignore it, to shake it off and cheer up. It was absolutely boiling behind my eyes. Here, I could clearly see that nothing was important, nothing mattered, all of those things that I thought before mattered were entirely insignificant. Nothing I would do, nothing I would become, nothing I would ever know was of any significance. It was all bullshit. All pointless. None of it could possibly be worth the pain and sickening sadness I felt. Something had to give. What to do? I could just kill myself. But.. how do I let go of the only thing I've ever known, as bad as it is? If I don't end it now, how do I get away from the pain and obsessive thoughts?

Well, somewhere along the way I figured out that cutting my skin seemed to break me out of that obsessive feedback loop, calm me down and get me thinking more objectively. I don't understand why it worked. But if I cut my skin open (usually the deeper and longer, the better) and let the blood well up and pour out, it just really brought me back from wherever I went. It didn't make any problems go away, didn't fix anything. But now I felt like I could handle it. Perhaps it forced my mind to give immediate attention to something besides the obsession. Don't think I'll ever know.

Now, about 10 years later, I look at all the scars on my arms and chest and I'm actually grateful for them. Each one was a time I didn't kill myself. The fact that I'm looking in the mirror and seeing them means that, destructive or not, they kept me alive. I do think there are less destructive ways of dealing with shit, but if I absolutely needed to cut again, I'd be alright with it. If that's what you need, that's what you need.

These days I tend to get by with lots of distractions, sleep when I feel down, some weed, and the oft-used words "fuck it." Nothing's fixed. It's all still pointless. But there's always tomorrow ;)
 
Raz, I totally agree with your responses. Cutting was never for attention or to get a message across. It used to make me feel good. So I did it. It made me feel like i was helping myself. But I got over that. Partly because my sis had a big problem with it, and one time she saw one of mine, and told my mother and i just had to stop because I didnt want to put my mother through that torture again, with another one of her daughters mutilating themself.
 
Its been a long time since ive cut. sometimes when im depressed i think about it. its on my mind kinda edging me to cut or to roll up my fist and punch something so i can feel the pain in my hands. ive been thinking about it alot and it scares me. but i know that i cant and i wont because i cant go back to what i was before because i worked so hard to stop and get where i am now.
 
This thread really wants to make me cut myself :(

I've got near to trying it once before because i was depressed, until I realized
Why am I doing this? it's going to Hurt.
I put the knife down
 
I cut because I find it an art form, just like tatoo's, but I LIKE cutting a beatiful drawing into myself, as I did it and I drew it. But I did cut a long time ago so, that might be it. Anyway, I only cut when it fades and it needs touching up, but it sure does feel good to me.
 
i guess ive now joined the ranks of the 'cutters'

slit my veins yesterday, and just watched the blood pour out. i guess i didnt really wanna kill myself cuz i cut horizontally even though i KNEW cutting vertically along the vein would be much more effective.

fucking depression man its killing me
 
Never cut but used to self harm in other ways pretty much everyday.
Has anyone else here ever strangled themseleves for the stuff mentioned on here?
It's a weird way to do it I know because it doesnt lead anywhere because you always know that you'll let go or fall unconcious before actually dying.
For me doing it was never something pre-meditated or some form of release I didn't even feel particularly released once I'd done it, though it used to help me sleep cos I'd carry on once I'd got my breath back until I was exhausted.

For me self-harm was more just that self hatred and bad stuff would come in waves and it'd get stronger to the point where it kind of overwhlemed me and I'd just end up grabbing my throat and hanging on. I think maybe part of the thing with my throat was that it let me tell myself I didn't have the guts to cut so I was even more worthless than before. It was never really something I could have decided to "quit" cos I was completely helpless while I felt like that so I ahd no control over myself anyway, usually happened in the shower, got quite a few massive bruises on my head as well as my throat from falling over and cracking my head on the rim of the bath.

Anyway sorry for this, it's not particularly helpful or aimed at discussion, just good to know I'm not that bad again yet and good to write something about it.
 
What about the 11 and 12 year old girls who cut in strategic locations like the arms, ( really really shallow ). Its cool to be all depressed and emotional now a days and Im sick of it. What is the worst thing that could happen to a 12 year old living in the suburbs? Uh nothing so get over it.

On cutting with actual personal intentions, its alright as a coping mechanism as long as its not for attention.
 
i just wanted to say that my girlfriend is a cutter (for about
3 years or so), but i've been
totally non-judgmental of her behavior. she never tried to hide it
from me, she's 20 y/o right now. i accept it's a part of
who she is. i'm just going to love her, and maybe it will be enough.

peace
 
happybunny said:
What is the worst thing that could happen to a 12 year old living in the suburbs? Uh nothing so get over it.
Click to expand...

granted im not a 12 year old girl... but you seemed to have failed to realize that life is all about perception. maybe you had it really bad growing up... sure to you their life may be all glitter and gold, but maybe they're used to so much more... then lost it all. without looking deeper you see some 12 year old suburban girl. dig under the surface you may come to find that that 12 year old suburban girl is now living with her mother and stepfather because her daddy (an upperclass business man) cheated on his wife... got a divorce, signed the life insurance policy over to his mistress... and shot himself in the head in front of the 12 year old girl. now shes stuck with her rejected mother and her stepfather that she doesnt even get along with.

you think she'd have nothing to be upset about??? maybe you should get off your high horse and realize that you dont have to be poor and hated to have problems.
 
well ive never actually made myself bleed, but lately everytime something bad happens i get out this super sharp eyelash brush and drag it across my arms. i have horrible scratch marks all over my upper arms. its the only thing that feels good and i cant help but do it.
 
in a moment of stupidity last week, i burnt my ankles with a red hot needle. i'm angry at myself for doing this because prior to last monday i hadn't injured myself in almost a year.

now i have dark red burn marks on my ankles and need a way to cover/hide them for a few hours this weekend. i have to wear a dress and pantyhose are not an option due to wearing sandals. nor is just going "as is" because i will be having my photograph taken with people and i don't want red scabs on my ankles to ruin the pictures.

bearing in mind i attend college in the middle of nowhere and can't go to a dermatologist, does anyone have any suggestions? i was thinking a little of that green cover up stuff for acne and foundation perhaps? could i mix a foundation that matches my skin tone with a liquid bandaid? does tanning help?
 
Right, not sure if this is self-injury, but since I was very small i've always chewed my lips to the point that they swell up and bleed...In the past 2 years it has gotten worse. My lips are always completely messed up.
It is a bad habit i've had for about 10 years now. I never really thought anything of it until fairly recently. I tend to chew on them more when i'm nervous or anxious, but once I start on them i'll chew them for several hours, unable to stop, because the feeling of just sticking the tooth in that little bit further each time just feels nice....very weird I know, which is why i'm asking if anyone else has this 'habit'??? Is it psychosematic or something?
 
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