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Cunnilingus - So hard

I

iskalla

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 5, 2007
Messages
326
Location
Germany
Hey

Ive been with my girl for a while now and cant seem to make her cum. granted, she didnt let me practice oral on her a lot, but lately i have tried a few times and i really thought i was doing it very well, yet she still doesnt cum. i know exactly what i have to do, and she gives me further instructions while im at it. slower, harder, faster, etc. still its very hard to get right.

the first problem is probably that her clit is pretty small and nestled in quite a bit of flesh. i have to hit it perfectly with the right pressure at the right speed. i can do it for quite a while now, but i always seem to slip off when things get critical. i find it impossible to keep at that exact spot for a long time. i always lose it, only briefly, but just a brief moment is enough to mess up.

she told me that ive gotten very, very close, but then lost her clit again. ive tried pulling her appart for better reach, which works fine at the beginning, but as she gets wetter due to saliva and her own juices, i tend to lose grip and fuck it up.

is it really that hard to make a girl cum? it seems like i could only do it once in a million tries. although i have gotten a lot better the last 20 or so times i tried.
 
Some girls cum easily, some impossibly hard. I find that with the latter, you have to do as much mental work as physical. You really have to find their mental "switch" to get them to cum. For example, if dirty talk really grinds her gears, start getting nasty when she says she's close.
 
its like starting a car in the winter, you got to get it going, let it run for a little while, then put it in drive. like GM asid, a lot of girls have a mental switch. findout how to turn the switch on and u should be good.
 
it's not some exact science.. you'll get better just practice more. once you get it down both of you will be more used to it and it'll probably take less time

you can also try fingering her while you're doing it.. some girls really like that, though others find it's 'distracting' i guess this will also help keep her opened up for better access. it also helps to kinda like kiss the clit and hold it with your lips while you use your tongue.. this way you won't "lose it" as much.. and if you do lose track of it while she's getting close just start going nutz over the whole area till you find the right spot again.
 
Dan1584 said:
Does really she like oral to begin with?
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she says it feels good...shes not begging me to get down there though.


medicine cabinet:
when shes horny she wants sex. she wouldnt want me down there licking her. when i go down on her its always like "ok babe, lets try this again". i know thats not the right way, but over 8 months pressure has built up. i assume that if i can make her cum once, itll be easier after that. were both cool about it though when she doesnt cum. "oh well, maybe next time" its no problem.


frizzantik:
i do the licking the whole area thing. i even figured out a technique where i go slightly diagonally, and i can usually get the clit again within seconds and switch back to vertical movement. i really do think my technique is pretty good. im gonna try to get her clit between my lips, but its probably to small for that, even when shes arroused.
 
i enjoy myself. she wants me to succeed. we have fun. we always have a fun and easy atmosphere going on in the bedroom. and if i didnt go down on her id never see her cum. and because shes my girl and i love her i think it should be part of the relationship. she understands, she has seen me cum hundreds of times and always enjoys seeing it.

seriously, how would you go about it if you never saw your girlfriend of 8 months cum. keep in mind she and i can talk very openly about this! would you just be fine with it? im not!
 
Hmmmm... well since you say your technique is probably fine guess it won't hurt to try some classic tricks:

I have found for some women, outlining each letter of the alphabet on their clit (obviously with your tounge) does a good job of either A) teasing the hell outta their clit or B) gets the whole job done...

Another thing to try is some toy play... that's always fun.
 
So, has she not had an orgasm from penetration either, or your fingers, or her own?

Assuming she is somewhat orgasmic, you might try the following:
Tell her before you go down on her that this time you are going to focus on your own enjoyment of getting you face full of her beautiful, fragrant, exciting goddess parts! Then take your time doing just that and slowly build a mental contour map of her sex; learn the scenic routes, the short-cuts, the sweet destinations. Tell her that every touch, lick and glide is you loving her, to relax and not hunt the orgasm, just sink into the feelings and enjoy you enjoying her.

Make happy noises. Wriggle. Have fun down there and she might catch the same ride.

It also helps if you can stop thinking and just lose yourself in your senses and emotions. This can take practice.
 
Have her help you out with her fingers while you're down there. You can see what makes her feel best and apply it the next time.

I had one girlfriend that I tried to give oral sex to and she wasn't too thrilled. We broke up and I dated another girl for a while. She was into it, and I got pretty good at making her feel good. Later, I got back with the first girl and used what I learned. She enjoyed my improved technique. I'm not saying practice on another girl, just that it can get better.

Also, in some cases, oral is better for an appetizer - not the main course.
 
dude the clit is good but your focusing on the wrong area. The "G" spot is where it's at. Use two of your fingers, finger her, but when you do it keep them pushed inward, make them a hook shape, and focus on the g spot. It's located behind the pubic bone.

For example, if your girl is on all fours (doggy position) keep your fingers on the ground side rather than the ceiling side.

I have difficulty trying to be descriptive, but when you feel the g spot it feels a little rougher, not as smooth as the rest of her. That get's my girl going crazy...
 
Yippee Skippy said:
Also, in some cases, oral is better for an appetizer - not the main course.
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OFT - seems like oral has become an issue where you HAVE to make her cum - why not instead use it just as foreplay.
Just tease her for a few minutes before moving elsewhere. Then build it up.

Making an issue of things usually has the opposite to desired effect.
 
yeah i know its bad that i made an issue of it. but its too late now. i cant change that, until she cums it will always be an issue, wether we like it or not, its in the back of our heads.

the g-spot seems to do nothing for her. ive done it a couple of times and after a while it will just start to hurt her. im sure ive felt it though. she doesnt get off it herself when she uses a dildo/vibrator.
 
GenericMind said:
Some girls cum easily, some impossibly hard. I find that with the latter, you have to do as much mental work as physical. You really have to find their mental "switch" to get them to cum. For example, if dirty talk really grinds her gears, start getting nasty when she says she's close.
Click to expand...

Right on. Sometimes technique isn't as important as mental stimulation. Finding that 'switch' can be very effective in bringing someone over the top. Someone posted that it isn't an exact science, I agree. Lots of trial and error can be frustrating but try not to let it show if possible. She'll get there, and it gets so much easier once you get the 1st one out of the way.

One question: Can she climax via masturbation/vibe? If not, it can be helpful to start there. Once she has that down then bring in oral, digital, etc.
 
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Try a (well lubed) finger in her (relaxed) asshole. Never fails for me if she is taking a while to cum. Usually happens within a minute of inserting.
 
morninggloryseed said:
Try a (well lubed) finger in her (relaxed) asshole. Never fails for me if she is taking a while to cum. Usually happens within a minute of inserting.
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sadly she isnt comfortable with anal stimulation.

i cant even make her cum with a vibrator btw, cant find the right spot. not even she can do it every single time, i think shes a rather tricky girl. next thing were gonna do is have her use her vibrator in front of me. try to get comfortable with the situation. we almost did it once, she even brought her vibrator to my place, but then we were both to tired.
 
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