Couples therapy help

[aguavelvet]

Dear all,

I would like to ask the greater community here for help with my current situation.

We are a married couple, who are for all intent and purpose are finished with our marriage.
We have a young child who is very ill. It is not likely that our child will live years.
The illness of our child burned up our already rocky marriage.
But because we have a sick child, it's been difficult to even separate.

As a last ditch effort, my wife is open to trying MDMA with me, perhaps not to save the marriage, but to come to an understanding and resolution.

The questions I have are:

1 how do we go about finding a therapist who can help us with this? We live in Toronto Canada.
2 We're willing to travel within North America. (or say 6 - 8 hours flight)
3 Any words of wisdom or take aways that we should keep in the mind?

Gratefully ...


A

 

[Paulo_di_canio]

Seeing as its illegal it might be hard finding someone. I remember on a national geographic program, possibly drugs inc, there was a lady who practiced using this method.

If you don't manage to find someone, you should still explore taking it together in a nice environment as you will certainly find therapeutic qualities from it.

Sorry to hear of your troubles.

 

[aguavelvet]

Seeing as its illegal it might be hard finding someone. I remember on a national geographic program, possibly drugs inc, there was a lady who practiced using this method.

If you don't manage to find someone, you should still explore taking it together in a nice environment as you will certainly find therapeutic qualities from it.

Sorry to hear of your troubles.

Hi Paulo,

Thanks. and yes, difficult to find...

 

[Folley]

I'm sorry to say, but MDMA therapy still has a LARGE amount of resistance and is illegal in most places

The places that do practice it often have an EXTREMELY large waitlist, filled with truly traumatized people and veterans with PTSD.



Perhaps you don't need a therapist, though. Even just you alone on MDMA can be VERY therapeutic, I'm sure if you two focus and really dig deep down to the root of your problems you will be able to achieve the same kind of experience without buying any plane tickets

I'm truly sorry to hear about your child, I'll say a prayer for him.. All the best

 

[questforstarfish]

I am so sorry for the pain you and your family is going through.

Unfortunately, as others have said it is extremely difficult to find therapists who practice with this medication, since it is currently illegal. There are those who do it, but at the risk of losing their license and possibly jail time, so they fly very far under the radar, which makes them hard to find.

I'm so sorry we can not help you find street resources, as that is against the forum rules as far as I know, but I believe MDMA has the amazing capacity to help couples through crises and separations, allowing them to drop all guards and walls and judgements and simply be open, patient, compassionate and honest in a non-hurtful and non-malicious way. If you do decide to try to access it on the street (preferably through friends, if by chance you know any), here are my suggestions:

a) Go into it with a conscious intention of discussing openly with each other. Discuss your goals with one another beforehand, or write them down in a journal.

b) Set and setting are incredibly important. For a therapeutic setting, do it at home with some soft music playing in the background. Skip the over-stimulation that recreational users often seek, such as lots of lighting/loud or fast music/stimulating environments. Music, candles or soft lighting, a comfy place to sit and share...a bed or air mattress or blankets on the floor are ideal, so you can sprawl and be comfortable. Avoid having lots of distractions around. Focus on each other, yourselves, and your goals, while relaxing and being somewhat introspective- this will probably happen very naturally on MDMA anyway. Have water available, and stay hydrated but not overhydrated (when people get dehydrated on M, it is normally because they're dancing all night- MDMA does not dehydrate you on its own but do have a regular amount of water over the course of the night).

c) Buy a test kit online (google MDMA test kits, there are several suppliers online) to ensure what you get is indeed MDMA and not something being passed off as it.

d) I suggest reading Psychedelic Healing by Neal Goldsmith. Available on Amazon and can give you a quick intro to using psychedelics in healing.

e) Scour the internet for info! Erowid and this website are fantastic resources. Yahoo Answers and other question forums not focused on drugs are often not reliable. Read about what to expect so you are not overwhelmed (this is not common on low doses, but is always possible if you're feeling very anxious about what to expect), dosing (extremely important your first time...again, check out this forum), the comedown and the hangover (should be minimal if you take what is often considered a therapeutic dose, around 100mg, instead of a party dose where people take 100mg 2-3+ times throughout a night).


I wish you guys the best of luck in everything. I hope that you do get the opportunity to do this, if not to save the relationship than to come to an easier acceptance and understanding of the situation. I wish this stuff was legal to use in therapy, as it has a hugely wide variety of uses in therapeutic settings and I think it could honestly save lives and relationships (either by keeping couples and friends together or by helping each person diminish negative feelings toward someone who they have tension and pain with) when used properly. Unfortunately we're not quite there yet. Good luck and peace be with you guys!

 

[Livinginthealps]

I know of a couple of respected dr's that do some underground work with MDMA, Ayhusasca, LSD. They use it for a few various situations. We got in touch completely by chance and if it didn't happen the way it did, I doubt I would ever find someone who does such practices. As others have said it is illegal, so that will pose some serious trouble finding a respectable dr that does this, let alone any medical professional. I did not use their services for therapy reasons but, they sometimes have ayhausca ceremonies which I certainly am willing participate. It is in the PNW.
You need to get involved in some close knit circles and then go from there.
You can definitely go about this on your own as well. I think a therapeutic setting with a professional would be a little more straight to the point and guided a little better. But, in the end you can accomplish the same goal. I suggest reading up on using MDMA for this purpose. After you educate yourself, you can then procede if your still willing.

I am sorry to hear about your situation, I couldn't imagine going through what you guys are experiencing. But, the fact you two are possibly willing to go to any extreme to make peace with the situation means a lot. Your mindset is right. I think it is a plus you aren't doing this to mend your marriage but, rather for you childs sake. You guys are strong. I think you have the potential to make peace with your s/o and the situation revolving your child. Who knows maybe it can help you find the spark in your relationship that went out long ago.

Regardless, good luck on your search. There are professionals that are out there for you guys. But, due to the drug war that becomes a challenge.

 

[augustaB]

It would be important to create a setting in which you could both relax.
Most of the tips mentioned above are good, especially about testing the stuff before trying it.
If this is to work, you would both have to be prepared to abandon your arguments and sense of who is right and wrong.
Could you both do this?
Are you both prepared to fall in love again??
If you bring your animosity to the roll you're likely to have a bad time together.
There are lots of tips about what makes rolls enjoyable here.
A good roll together could save your marriage.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

You're better off trying to find some yourself.. *SNIP - NO SOURCING!*

100mgs each. Quiet room. Low sensory. In the Drugs, Inc. episode, the patient was blind-folded. I think this was to prevent visual distractions, might be a good idea to do with your S/O.

I'm sorry about your child.