m4dd0g
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
- Messages
- 3,664
Just something I threw together for my own amusement
Country drivin
It was a dark and stormy night ... well it would have been if it wasn't 11am on a Sunday morning, with light cloud cover, 23 degrees and a small chance of showers after the expected cool change.
But, emotionally, it was a dark and stormy night. I was alone at home, a lightly folded mix of loneliness and boredom leaving me not so fluffy as I would have hoped. I pondered raiding my stash, then thought, "fuckit, I'll go for a drive." That's what normal people did on Sunday mornings wasn't it? Yes, a drive was the thing to sort me right out.
So off I go, roaring along, out of the city and into the countryside. Smile and act normal, that's the ticket; I'm almost buying into this. Wave to some farmers. Wave to some cows. Wave to a fence post, avert my eyes and pretend it didn't wave back. Fence posts ... trust them at your own peril.
I decide to pull over, see if I can't go all the way on this charade and soak up some country goodness from point blank. I park under a tree, get out, and start strolling through the short grass. I inhale deeply, absorbing that unique mix of fresh cut grass and animal faeces that is genu-ine country air. Maybe all those specialist are wrong? Maybe there is nothing wrong with me?
That's when I see her, I'm stopped dead in my tracks. I'm bewitched, mesmerized, speechless, breathless, moved and elated all at once. Beautiful, I never even knew the meaning of the word till now.
She sees me staring, ogling even; my face flushes with blood, but not even my embarrassment can avert my eyes from this goddess.
She doesn't mind, in fact ... my heart stops ... she walks over to me.
How unselfconscious she moves her graceful body, her unbound brown hair blows gently back from her face like she willed the wind to do it.
What do you say to someone like that? How can you do anything but fall to your knees and worship?
She reaches my side and we simply stand there, eye to eye, smiling like time is stopped. My head is mercifully empty, whilst my heart is so full it's a wonder it can even fit inside my skinny chest. Without thought she is in my arms, our tongues already exploring, our breath coming in short gulps. I cant even feel my erection, its just an ache that belongs to us both and it will not be denied long.
Abruptly I'm torn from my moment of happiness by an uncaring world. Well, specifically by the uncaring and quite angry farmer, "git the hell away from ma dawg you freekin pervert!". He is rushing toward me and he has something in his hand, something heavy. I give my newly lost love one last hug and break for the car. I'm fumbling for keys when Joe farm boy gets there. He's really fuming, spittle flies across my windshield as he starts pounding the front of my car with a heavy metal hammer.
Frightened, but still thinking I manage to crank the ignition, I throw it into reverse and flaw it. I'm never good at driving under pressure, I get confused even at the best of times. The engine roars, wheels spin, the car lurches and there is a load crunch as farm boy gets minced against the tree. Shit, wrong gear.
Working quickly I clean off the bonnet and much blood and chunky bits as I can. I grab the dog, shove it in the boot; Winner gets all right? I look for somewhere to stash the body, it doesn't have to be good, just someplace out of sight long enough for me to get the hell out of dodge. I grab the corpse ... hmm ... he's kinda cute when he isn't all riled up. 'Fuckit", I stuff him in the boot too. Hell, when I'm done with him, I can feed him to my new bride as a honeymoon gift. I drive off.
On the way home I have an epiphany: 'now I know why I should just stay home and do drugs'
- Maddog
Country drivin
It was a dark and stormy night ... well it would have been if it wasn't 11am on a Sunday morning, with light cloud cover, 23 degrees and a small chance of showers after the expected cool change.
But, emotionally, it was a dark and stormy night. I was alone at home, a lightly folded mix of loneliness and boredom leaving me not so fluffy as I would have hoped. I pondered raiding my stash, then thought, "fuckit, I'll go for a drive." That's what normal people did on Sunday mornings wasn't it? Yes, a drive was the thing to sort me right out.
So off I go, roaring along, out of the city and into the countryside. Smile and act normal, that's the ticket; I'm almost buying into this. Wave to some farmers. Wave to some cows. Wave to a fence post, avert my eyes and pretend it didn't wave back. Fence posts ... trust them at your own peril.
I decide to pull over, see if I can't go all the way on this charade and soak up some country goodness from point blank. I park under a tree, get out, and start strolling through the short grass. I inhale deeply, absorbing that unique mix of fresh cut grass and animal faeces that is genu-ine country air. Maybe all those specialist are wrong? Maybe there is nothing wrong with me?
That's when I see her, I'm stopped dead in my tracks. I'm bewitched, mesmerized, speechless, breathless, moved and elated all at once. Beautiful, I never even knew the meaning of the word till now.
She sees me staring, ogling even; my face flushes with blood, but not even my embarrassment can avert my eyes from this goddess.
She doesn't mind, in fact ... my heart stops ... she walks over to me.
How unselfconscious she moves her graceful body, her unbound brown hair blows gently back from her face like she willed the wind to do it.
What do you say to someone like that? How can you do anything but fall to your knees and worship?
She reaches my side and we simply stand there, eye to eye, smiling like time is stopped. My head is mercifully empty, whilst my heart is so full it's a wonder it can even fit inside my skinny chest. Without thought she is in my arms, our tongues already exploring, our breath coming in short gulps. I cant even feel my erection, its just an ache that belongs to us both and it will not be denied long.
Abruptly I'm torn from my moment of happiness by an uncaring world. Well, specifically by the uncaring and quite angry farmer, "git the hell away from ma dawg you freekin pervert!". He is rushing toward me and he has something in his hand, something heavy. I give my newly lost love one last hug and break for the car. I'm fumbling for keys when Joe farm boy gets there. He's really fuming, spittle flies across my windshield as he starts pounding the front of my car with a heavy metal hammer.
Frightened, but still thinking I manage to crank the ignition, I throw it into reverse and flaw it. I'm never good at driving under pressure, I get confused even at the best of times. The engine roars, wheels spin, the car lurches and there is a load crunch as farm boy gets minced against the tree. Shit, wrong gear.
Working quickly I clean off the bonnet and much blood and chunky bits as I can. I grab the dog, shove it in the boot; Winner gets all right? I look for somewhere to stash the body, it doesn't have to be good, just someplace out of sight long enough for me to get the hell out of dodge. I grab the corpse ... hmm ... he's kinda cute when he isn't all riled up. 'Fuckit", I stuff him in the boot too. Hell, when I'm done with him, I can feed him to my new bride as a honeymoon gift. I drive off.
On the way home I have an epiphany: 'now I know why I should just stay home and do drugs'
- Maddog
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
