counted blessings

[colicolo]

Three dollars was the last movie we watched
Four bucks was the bet about a boy, you lost
Five fingers on the tender little hand that I held
Six tears showed the price that your first love cost

Seven days was the longest week I didn't see your smile
Eight nights in a row I dreamed of a girl with your hair
Nine friends sent you messages just to show love
Ten minutes ago I gave up on mending a hearts tear

Twenty hours I had worked and you kept me sane
Thirty cds I compiled from my soul just for you
Forty boys passed who sadly just weren't right
Fifty times i've been lost in your eyes magestic blue

One hundred times is the magnification of your heart
Two hundred kilometers keeps us but not souls apart
Five hundred steps to admit my heart have been tried
One thousand tears of tragic regret have been cried.

 

[Doppelganger]

Pure greatness!

 

[(Wordy)]

Yeah, love the form of this... it's clever, and you've kept it vibrant and interesting all the way through, which can be a tall order with these kinds of 'list' poems. It's impressive that you've managed to keep up the rhyme scheme as well - proof that formal constraints can sometimes bring out the best in a poet.

There are some really touching moments, along with some candid snaps of love in the 21st century ("the bet about a boy", "Thirty cds I compiled from my soul just for you").

And I thought Three Dollars was a brilliant film. How could I not love a film which features Joy Division's Transmission as part of the plot? :D

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

I really, really liked this.

Very clever.

I love poems that are 'tied together' by a singular idea. This one is stunning and original, well done!