Could really use advice-- past ~bad~ trips

[ambrielangel]

Belief can play a large role in this. Without getting too religious, do you generally believe that existence is positive? What are your thoughts on how tripping factors into existence?

Personally I feel that existence is overwhelmingly positive. Tripping is an alternative way of experiencing existence, to put it very mildly. This to me indicates that tripping is generally positive. We have the capacity to make it negative, but it need not be that way.

I don't believe that existence is essentially positive. I worry that tripping will wake me up to the 'Truth' of existence again, which I experienced those two times as incredibly, painfully negative for 98% of those trips. The other 2% was spent revelling in "getting it" and feeling incredibly complete and as though I understood everything perfectly (this entire trip was spent with me thinking I was God).

Now in 'lucidity' or whatever I still have those fears that came about as a result of seeing lucid existence as, essentially, an escape hatch where we can hide in ignorance of the 'Truth' (pre-apple eating in Eden).

However, as your interpretation of the Universe proves, there are other ways to experience 'revelation' while tripping. Now, if I can trip and experience my consciousness (i.e. existence) as positive, I hope that my fears will be allayed and that I'll be able to stop having bad-trip induced existential freak-outs.



I am also considering not taking a psychedelic again this weekend and just doing the mdma. It's going to depend a lot on the environment, my mood, and my mental state prior-to. I think the mdma will put me in a mindset where I can see experience as a positive thing (it calms me down that much), but... I'm giving it a lot of serious thought. There are so many potential benefits, and there's a huge risk factor. It's really going to depend.

 

[bartlebooth]

It sounds to me like you've got a good direction on this, different from my own, but harmonious in meaningful ways.

I should maybe clarify further that I believe in an essential balance between positive and negative, and an indescribable resolution of these polar opposites. The experience of that resolution is not easily satisfied in a human living from moment to moment. However it is faith in this resolution of opposites that I choose to characterize as overwhelmingly positive.

 

[bartlebooth]

I'm allowing myself to be self-indulgent here. I am sorry to anyone who has simply heard enough from me on this topic already.

What I wanted to add is this. Where I find myself at any given time on this continuum of positive/negative is as much an agent of circumstance and external forces as it is of my own free will. It is more common for me to experience a distortion in the influence of one or the other, which is more troublesome for me than where I truly am.

I find I am at my best when I realize that I am neither powerless nor omnipotent, when I am genuinely aware of my own will and I am choosing to be positive. No amount of positivity from me has been capable of negating negativity, but it does have the potential to heal negativity towards the positive.

The final words of "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" provide an eloquent summary of my own conclusions here (perhaps rephrasing "All things both great and small" as "All things both positive and negative", although this seriously kills the cadence of the poem):

"He prayeth well, who loveth well
Both man and bird and beast.

He prayeth best, who loveth best
All things both great and small;
For the dear God who loveth us,
He made and loveth all."

The Mariner, whose eye is bright,
Whose beard with age is hoar,
Is gone; and now the Wedding-Guest
Turned from the bridegroom's door.

He went like one that hath been stunned,
And is of sense forlorn:
A sadder and a wiser man
He rose the morrow morn.

I do not subscribe to any particular religion or theistic model, but the power of this poem is incredible to me.

 

[ilikepoolsandcaves]

You sound like your prepared. I don't think you should take ecstasy in pill form. only Molly powder because its always been clean in that form for me. and definitely shrooms as your psychadelic because it'll where off a little after the Molly. I have the same analytical bad tripping your taking about and to help with this is I try to quiet my thoughts and surroundings when I trip. I think u should meditate on the comeup by the lake. I would take the Molly when your peaking on the shrooms and have calm music you like around. Bob Marley is my personal favorite to trip on. Duppy Conqueror is my favorite song by him. Ive hippy flipped once and had an awful time because I was in a bad place in my life when I did it. I wouldn't recommend Molly come to think of it unless u really feel prepared. I would save that for a rave or concert. Make sure your comfortable tripping around the ppl around you. My favorite trips are lucid dreaming and I definitely recommend doing that. that's all I can help you with. Good luck!!

 

[LuvH8Relationship]

My personal experience with shrooms/LSD: Many good trips, a few bad trips(mostly on shrooms)
My personal experience with candy/hippy flipping: Incredibly awesomely amazing trip every time.

 

[ilikepoolsandcaves]

Ya it was definitely the set and setting that gave me a bad trip when I hippy flipped. Never mind about me discouraging putting them together. I was addicted to mdma at the time which definitely punished me in the trip. I know Molly isn't addictive but I really was psychologically addicted

 

[pastelcircus]

I should maybe clarify further that I believe in an essential balance between positive and negative, and an indescribable resolution of these polar opposites.

whoaaah
you just hit the nail on the head for me
i have had some pretty intense trips,
none of which were in a good environment or a good place in my life
but i always had this 'vision' of innocent vs evil, like when you are a kid and draw a swirly line in circles (or maybe that was just me)
like, the dark and light swirling until they met at a point in the middle,
and i was so deeply confused, thinking these months that it meant i was simply unable to make a decision, or neither good nor evil but rather limbo,
but you saying that makes me realize that the divide between dark and light was where i stood,
at neutral

thank you
so much

 

[bartlebooth]

^ Exactly! That is a perfect illustration. Thanks for sharing that.

 

[Markmalice]

OK... First of all, you need to experiment with different psychedelics and find which is best for you. After a while, I discovered that mine is Acid, for example. Now, I am much like you. I over-analyze everything. I try very hard to put everything in a neat box where it is not supposed to fit. I use the trip to move past this! Psychedelics give the gift of altered perspective. The key is, tho: to LET GO and allow these changes, instead of trying to control them. It is true that you need a strong mind to handle an intense trip. However, it takes an even stronger mind to say: It doesn't matter! I should enjoy, experience, and absorb all the beauty and humor that this amazing drug has given me the eyes to see. Then, once sober-headed, begin to interpret.

Hope this helped