could be you

[number 4]

the guy who wrote that "could be you" reply in the phreex post was right...


have you ever thought that it might be the price thats keeping you from becoming an addict?

when its $4 per gram, for PURE burmese white caviar

what the fuck is stopping you???


the people that said it is possible to maintain a normal life while being addicted are right to certain extent...

i had used it on and off for a few years, never with any problems.

the time when i was addicted to h, was coincidentally the prime of my teen years. before i got addicted i had built 60lbs of lean muscle, from 135lbs(a scrawny fuck) to the buffest kid in the gym at 200lbs. thats big for being 5'7".

well how i got addicted...

i was visiting the hill-tribe villages of burma right where they grew and manufactured opium and heroin.
UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE
they had open air markets selling opium for $100 a kilo!!!
they sold heroin too so i got 10 grams of the "caviar" number 4 for (US)$20 and brought it back with me into thailand (where i live)

in a matter of days i was injecting 1.5 grams a day.

but guess what?

i saw doin good, i would go work out everyday as usual, although i wasnt getting bigger, is getting RIPPED. i mean cut to the fucking MAX to the point that i was recruited by the national bodybuilding organization of thailand, they wanted to take me in their team and compete!

if they only knew! i would go back home everyday and get so fucking high, do massive doses and somehow i wouldnt nod out or OD.

I'de just get extremely high, never puke, never pass out, never OD.

i did this for 3 months.

then i went to the US, brought another 10 grams with me thru the airports (this was after 9/11) in a smarties box. i had a stop-oved in minneapolis for 7 hours... so what did i do?

i went to the nearest pharmacy got a 10 pack of 29G BD's and went back in the airport with everything in my carry on.. to this day i still cant believe how stupid i was and how lucky i was for not being arrested.

and oh yeah, i got fuck off my face at the airport, it was a blast!

so i was in the US for a week and my 10 grams was already finished. what the fuck was i to do? i was using 1.5g a day of PURE for a few months and now i had nothing left!

i quit cold turkey, no help from anyone. i couldnt tell anyone cos i was with my family for x-mas. i just held everything in.
the first 3 days werent that bad so i was thinking to my self "withdrawals arent shit! this is easy!". i was just getting cold sweats and chills and was moody. not too bad...

until it reached like the 5th day.. fucking hell. i couldn't control my arms, specifically the areas i used to shoot in. i couldnt stop hitting my self really hard trying to stop the numbness, no sleep all night, nightmares... it was bad.

but after a week and half it was all over, and looking back on it and comparing it to stories of other junkies quitting cold turkey it wasnt that bad. it was tolerable.


i spent a year in the states and i never used any h. then i came back to live in thailand and thats when it started again.

but it wasnt the same anymore...

i ODed like 5-6 times since i came back. one of them i was sent to the hospital. the other times i stopped breathing, lucky for a cigarette burning a hold thru me one time woke my ass up. the other times a friend or gf saved my life.

a few weeks ago i got my self addicted again, using it for only a week and half only during evenings. but i got addicted BAD. believe it or not, a lot worse than the time i was addicted using 1.5g a day for 3 months!

when i quit i would be so sick, so much muscle aches and puking... this never happened before!

i dont understand, i dont get as high as i used to off it, and i OD so easliy and get addicted so fucking easy??? what the fuck is wrong?

anyways, im stopping for a while. i dont think i'll do it for a long time. it seems i lost my power to control it, and its controling me.
so fuck it for a while.

some people can handle it, some people cant.

i used to be able to, but now i cant. shit changes. why? who knows.

good luck to all the junkies out there

PEACE

 

[ActiveMatx]

i don't know what its like to down off of heroin, but if it's harder than what Im expereincing now from oxycontin, then it must be hell.

 

[liquiddelight]

That's harsh man, sorry to hear that. All I can do is wish you luck and hopefully you'll be able to control your habit.
Maybe you should post this in 'The Dark Side'?

 

[Thurgood]

One thing I noticed you mention that I often hear people claiming yet have never heard first hand experience of how everytime you go back you use more and more with never reaching that level of highness again. I mean I agree to some point, but after a year of use I mean I honestly can't remember how the high was in the beginning so I really don't know how much less it is now. Hang in there man, just like yourself, I've quit and gone back over and over, it'll stick eventually [hopefully]...

 

[number 4]

im not gonna do it for a while. i got college comin up and im starting to workout hardcore like b4.

i abused it, and it ended up abusing me in the end.

im just saying to all the people that think they have it in control, to the ones that really do (for the moment) and the ones that are lying to themselves (the large majority)...


watch the fuck out.

this shit slowly creeps on you. it infiltrates itself deeply into every aspect of your psyche wether you want it to or not, wether you realize it or not. but once you realize it, its already too late son.

so shut the fuck up with your confident pro-heroin arguments and think for a minute. and im sayin it again...

watch the fuck out.

 

[Droop]

Ummm i dont think it should be a "Watch the fuck out " scenario. Heroin is heroin. It's not some lying girlfriend that is sleeping with other guys and has given you herpes. It's just a drug that you decided to put into your body.
People have stages in their life. Once you get over your heroin stage and reach the peak in your life, you will look back and laugh that you put that shit in your veins. Your topic is something for alot of people to look at. Just learn from your own experiences.

 

[volume-A]

Number4.. totally off topic but arn't u scared doing drugs in thailand?? with the law as strict as it is?? whats your view on it?

 

[number 4]

i think youre wrong.

heroin kinda is like a "lying girlfriend that is sleeping with other guys and has given you herpes". i mean it has a large chance of fucking you over in ways previously unexpected. am i not right?

i mean yeah, there is the small minority who manage to use it safely, but even then its usually only for a while.

do u honestly know that much long term users who dont have a bunch of personal OD stories and stories of their friends deaths due to ODs?

no matter how "smart" or "intelligent" you are before you start using, once youre a real junkie you just DONT CARE anymore.

and i dont agree about the "laughing when i look back at it" either. i havent met anyone like that yet. i know some ex-users and they look back at it as something bad, not funny. maybe its because their friends who had it all, self made millionaires, now have nothing. lost their pride, their respect, their fucking lives to it.

i just want ppl out there to know whats up from a user before they fuck with it.



and about being scared to use drugs in thailand...

yeah i know like 1500+++ people have been killed by the cops on the war on drugs, it sounds scary, but you only need to be scared if your name is on the black book, and mine isnt. since the war on drugs, drugs are still as easy as ever to get, just a bit more expensive.

other than that its just like before.