bennyZA
Bluelighter
I don't know how else to title this, but I'm trying to think if it is okay to try and get my brother to split with his GF. It is the least healthy relationship I've ever seen. My bro and his gf have been going out for 4 years now and not once during that relationship have they ever been happy with each other. For both of them this is the first serious relationship they've had and I think neither of them knows how to break it off and neither of them wants to have to deal with what comes next.
I can't even begin to explain how fucked up their relationship is. They hate each other, have for years. They yell and scream at each other all time. All the issues my brother has had in the past are magnified 1000x. I've never seen my brother so unhappy and so mentally unhealthy. He's always had anger issues, but it has recently become rage issues. He will fly off the handle and go into this blind rage over the most trivial shit, and it usually involves her. Both of them have anger issues and since neither of them likes the other's lifestyle, they scream at each other ALL THE TIME. I'm talking about massive fights every hour usually over nothing more than shit the most ridiculously trivial issues as. Some of the most intense fights of theirs:S imply changing the song while in the car, there was a horrendous fight over his gf not asking him if he wanted a glass of water when she got up to get one, moving something out of the way so the other can see the TV, turning music down, taking too long to get somewhere in the car (which is no one's fault at all, it's just traffic, as if that's my bro's fault), the list goes on.
My brother has even said horrible shit about her. He always talks about wanting to fuck other chicks, how she is packing on weight (which she really is) and her being super fucking lazy and doing nothing with her life. She's been taking 1 class a semester for over 6 years and there is still no end in sight for her education, and my brother is getting really sick and tired of supporting her financially. She doesn't have a job, she doesn't clean the house, do their laundry, nada. I know it's not her job, but when someone is supporting you 100% the favor needs to be returned.
It's not like she brings anything to the table either. She is not attractive at all, she is putting on lots of weight, she is angry, she is unbelievably sensitive, she is mean, she is so stupid, and she barely puts out. My brother acknowledges all of this, btw. She doesn't even like his lifestyle. He likes talking about politics, science, video games... everything she hates talking about. She yells at him when he wants to talk about the stuff he is interested. She is also the stupidest person I've ever met and whenever my bro and I talk about intelligent subjects, she flips out and cries, thinking we are trying to make her feel stupid. She didn't know that whales were mammals until she was 25, she didn't realize a square was a type of rectangle till she was 24, she didn't know who the US fought in the revolutionary war, or why we fought. The worst, and I kid you not, was when she learned the other day that a human is a type of animal. She thought they were in their own category...
This relationship is killing both of them so why don't they break up? Well, according to my brother, he wouldn't know what to do with his apt or his dog they "share" and that he doesn't want to hurt her by breaking up. She is so sensitive about everything that if he broke up with her he's worried she might do something terrible, like kill herself. I don't know what he's thinking. I think he's just too lazy, he doesn't want to have to actually deal with the process itself...
So how do I convince him he needs to split with her. He confides in me, but if I make any comments or point anything out his flips the fuck out. He broke up with her for 1 day 2 years ago and everyone finally got a chance to speak their mind. He got back together with her the next day and stopped talking to his friends for saying all that shit about his gf, even though he acknowledged everything everyone said the day before.
I've always thought that it is never my place to interfere with someone else's relationship, but I've had enough with this bullshit. This relationship has pretty much made my brother miserable for the last 4 years. I don't know how to bring it up, what to say, or how to go about this. Should I just leave it alone forever and watch my brother slip further and further into depression, or do I man up and say something regardless of the consequences to me? If you do think I should say something, what do you think i should say or what do you think I should do?
I can't even begin to explain how fucked up their relationship is. They hate each other, have for years. They yell and scream at each other all time. All the issues my brother has had in the past are magnified 1000x. I've never seen my brother so unhappy and so mentally unhealthy. He's always had anger issues, but it has recently become rage issues. He will fly off the handle and go into this blind rage over the most trivial shit, and it usually involves her. Both of them have anger issues and since neither of them likes the other's lifestyle, they scream at each other ALL THE TIME. I'm talking about massive fights every hour usually over nothing more than shit the most ridiculously trivial issues as. Some of the most intense fights of theirs:S imply changing the song while in the car, there was a horrendous fight over his gf not asking him if he wanted a glass of water when she got up to get one, moving something out of the way so the other can see the TV, turning music down, taking too long to get somewhere in the car (which is no one's fault at all, it's just traffic, as if that's my bro's fault), the list goes on.
My brother has even said horrible shit about her. He always talks about wanting to fuck other chicks, how she is packing on weight (which she really is) and her being super fucking lazy and doing nothing with her life. She's been taking 1 class a semester for over 6 years and there is still no end in sight for her education, and my brother is getting really sick and tired of supporting her financially. She doesn't have a job, she doesn't clean the house, do their laundry, nada. I know it's not her job, but when someone is supporting you 100% the favor needs to be returned.
It's not like she brings anything to the table either. She is not attractive at all, she is putting on lots of weight, she is angry, she is unbelievably sensitive, she is mean, she is so stupid, and she barely puts out. My brother acknowledges all of this, btw. She doesn't even like his lifestyle. He likes talking about politics, science, video games... everything she hates talking about. She yells at him when he wants to talk about the stuff he is interested. She is also the stupidest person I've ever met and whenever my bro and I talk about intelligent subjects, she flips out and cries, thinking we are trying to make her feel stupid. She didn't know that whales were mammals until she was 25, she didn't realize a square was a type of rectangle till she was 24, she didn't know who the US fought in the revolutionary war, or why we fought. The worst, and I kid you not, was when she learned the other day that a human is a type of animal. She thought they were in their own category...
This relationship is killing both of them so why don't they break up? Well, according to my brother, he wouldn't know what to do with his apt or his dog they "share" and that he doesn't want to hurt her by breaking up. She is so sensitive about everything that if he broke up with her he's worried she might do something terrible, like kill herself. I don't know what he's thinking. I think he's just too lazy, he doesn't want to have to actually deal with the process itself...
So how do I convince him he needs to split with her. He confides in me, but if I make any comments or point anything out his flips the fuck out. He broke up with her for 1 day 2 years ago and everyone finally got a chance to speak their mind. He got back together with her the next day and stopped talking to his friends for saying all that shit about his gf, even though he acknowledged everything everyone said the day before.
I've always thought that it is never my place to interfere with someone else's relationship, but I've had enough with this bullshit. This relationship has pretty much made my brother miserable for the last 4 years. I don't know how to bring it up, what to say, or how to go about this. Should I just leave it alone forever and watch my brother slip further and further into depression, or do I man up and say something regardless of the consequences to me? If you do think I should say something, what do you think i should say or what do you think I should do?
