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Confess Your Drug Sins Here, 1 at a time.

Obviously he didn't think of those actions as sins. He seemed totally out of reality IMO.
 
I've traded drugs and/ or $ for either clean urine or urine with just the drug I was supposed to be taking, and smuggled it into doctor's offices or methadone clinics inside of a flat container tucked in my sock more times then I can remember. And yes it has leaked thru my sock and into my boot once. And yes I had to wring-out the piss soaked sock into the specimen container, then poorly washed said sock in the sink. Good Times
 
Not so unusual but I've used way to many dirty rigs....went to go get H and forgot a rig so borrowed one from the people I was with and that thing was old. Used it so much that day by that night the thing had bent and I straightened it out and pushed that plunger. I usually shoot up in my car and damn I can not drive very well after but I do it anyways; I've stolen money from my brother and dad. Once even left home for a couple of days and did a heroin run, got so sick I ended up in the hospital. Spent almost $300 in a day and it was all gone in a few hours, and not to mention the time my boyfriend bashed my head in I was bleeding so bad and instead of getting help I locked myself in the bathroom and did heroin. I got a big lump in my arm where I shoot up and I kept shooting up in the same place, I got lucky and ended up not getting sick from it but that was a dumb ass thing to do....all of it was.
 
I remember all the small and not so small things like driving under the influence and irresponsibly. Everything that makes me so unhappy today such as not have enjoyed my youth and all the problems I have brought to those I loved most. Fortunately most of the bad parts are in the past but it still haunts me sometimes.
 
Once, I ate a third of a container of nutmeg, just because I needed to be on SOMETHING. Kinda sucked in many ways, but it did actually work and was interesting in a strange way... and then I ended up doing every now and again for a while when I felt like getting high but was somewhat short on money. Pretty lame drug, yet in a way I was actually pleasantly surprised at the fact that I did get fairly high :) As time has gone on though.... sobriety is nowhere near as boring as I had assumed it to be :) I'm actually much less easily bored than I thought and don't really feel the need to get messed up every day like I used to, though I still have some interesting nights every now and then with stuff.
 
As awkward as this might sound the hardest thing about being sober (for me) was finding ways to have fun and be happy. As much as I exercised, worked and felt rewarded by being "clean", I could not find that thing that made me happy.

I assume the problem was due to the fact I was trying to compare happiness with being high or numbed/sedated whatever, but from my experience happiness is and was all around I just had to pay attention. It takes time but it's in you somewhere. ;)
 
Back around 2007 (i was 16) i was taking 10+ mg of xanax almost everyday. and I was doing cocaine as often as possible. usually grams at a time. One night, i was super fucked up off both and i was out of $. I broke into my bestfriend's parents house while they were out of town. I stole their valuables just for the hell of it because xanax brings out the evil in me. I traded what i could for coke (while super barred out) and i broke the rest of the shit near a creek. oops...
 
Drugs make us strange. Opiates made me a really good person, a fine worker, a good friend and the smoothest lover as long as I had my stash always updated.
I had this idea life could only be bearable if I was calm, happy inside. But that wasn't happiness at all, it was all an illusion.
 
stole my girlfriends sisters wedding ring and pawned it ..she forgot it in the bathroom and I snatched it..the next 5 weeks I helped the whole family tear apart that house looking for the ring..they never found it lol..i swore I would take that secret to the grave with me lol
 
i believe i have a relevant sin to add here.
I am a commercial truck driver, the big rigs, 18 wheelers.... And an IV drug using opiate addict.
This is a "safety sensitive" job and any substance use or abuse is frowned upon and for good reason. Many times I have found myself nodding whilst barreling down americas freeways loaded at 80,000 pounds.
I have managed to worm my way around the "DOT drug screens", Specifically I know what drugs are simply not tested for at this time. Please do not ask me to divulge these as I do not wish to encourage such behavior. but there it is.... my contribution to the thread.
 
Have you always felt like this? The drugs will make us less inhibit, isn't it possible that you've always had these feelings? I don't know how old you are you or how young these girls are (your fantasize about). But I would be curious to know more about it.
 
I don't use heroin, but my brother is a heroin addict. There have been OD's and "friends" take off without helping the person because they don't want to get "busted."
 
Erikmen, I've been on both sides of the coin. I'm a recovered alcoholic and hurt my partner. I have profusely apologized and when I lapsed, he wasn't mad. I got myself back in treatment and I'm well again. That's all he wants. And I wanted it and I'm in a good place in my life, as well as my relationship with him.

My brother is a severe, unrecovered heroin addict and alcoholic. There have been twenty years of lies and betrayal. I'm not mad at him. I no longer enable him, but I'll emotionally support him and that won't change. He's not made amends with me but it's his addiction.

I love my brother and I hope he decides to get clean and stay clean one day. I worry about him but I know it's in his hands.

Erikmen, you sound like a great person. Don't feel guilty. The biggest gift is getting clean and staying clean/sober. That's all a loved one wants. I just wanted to post as I can share both perspectives. You're good. xo
 
Hmmmm...??

....I think the one thing that effects me the most, is my first overdose. I was shooting up Fentanyl before my mom had to drive me to work. I worked as a cook at the time and was scheduled to open the kitchen in the morning, so I was getting myself right, had been partying the night before, loads of cocaine, alcohol and codeine...
...well, I had just finished doing some poppers, weed/tobacco thing here, I know it's called something else other places, and I know the term 'poppers' refers to amyl nitrite most places...anyways...
....I had ripped a few of those...had a beer going... Got my next popper ready in the bong, which I was to hit just after I got my rigs right and away after my shot...so I remember vividly pushing the plunger in, chamber of fentanyl, mainline, pulled out, got up out of the crossed legged position I was in on my bedroom floor, was going to get my bong and rip the popper.....

....but....after the fentanyl sailed through my veins to my heart and brain... I simply just fell onto my pile of dirty laundry... All I remember is my vision just rotating from upright to sideways, toppling over onto my side.....then just black......
.... I woke up in the hospital with I.V.'s hooked into my arms, breathing machine hooked into my lungs through a tube....
...it felt as if I was there for days...but it was only a few hours...
What had happened at home was my mom had knocked on my door saying she was ready to drive me to work but didn't receive any answer...so after a few attempts she just entered to find me unconscious and gurgling on my floor, I wasnt breathing but she felt/heard my heart still beating so she immediately attempted to try and give me C.P.R., but when she opened my mouth she found the half of the patch of fentanyl I was sucking on, the remnants of the patch I sucked the fentanyl out of to inject....
...she threw that out and proceeded with the C.P.R. she called 911, and was loosing her mind from what she told me....so much so,that she didn't clean out any of the drugs and paraphernalia in my room before the paramedics and police showed up...
...anyways, I came to in a bed in the hospital with all this crap sticking out of my veins and mouth.... First thing I see are 3 cops....first thing I hear is them threatening to arrest me, and them asking me where I got it from? what's this? Tell us now?...
...I told them I got it from the Carebears ...
...I asked the doctor a few questions as to where I was found and how long I had been there, then started to worry about work, so I was about to rip all the I.V's out and get out of there to go work...one of the nurses stopped me...I just so happened to look away to my right as to not see all these cops, nurses and the doctor that were at the foot of my bed... And I see that the crack in the door to my room has some dark movement...
...the dark movement turned out to be my mother peaking through the crack in the door, she had seen that I was conscious and breathing without a tube jammed down my trachea and burst in through the doors of the emergency room I occupied.... She ran up to me crying, I started to cry, she hugged me, I hugged back. I apologised repeatedly with non stop tears rolling down my face, she said it's OK, it's OK...
....I really feel bad about putting her through that experience.... I still to this day feel very remorseful that I put her through that, I don't think I can ever live that down....as soon as I was released from E.R. my mom and dad drove me home, I showered and went to the beer store....

...I have overdosed 2 more times since then....both from fentanyl again, only these times it was in the skag I had purchased, I didn't know it was cut with fentanyl...

....I guess I may as well get this one out of the way too, as it ties into my last two overdoses...
..I'll keep it short and simple...these last 2 overdoses happened at my friend's house, in the basement.... My friend has a wife, 3 kids...a family.... But instead of him spending time with his kids and wife, he's down in the basement with me, smoking crack and shooting heroin.... I hear his kids call for him... Call for 'daddy' but he's occupied with me, in this dirty unfinished basement watching me overdose....I feel bad depriving his children of their father. I know it's his choice, but I always think that I'm the reason his kids and wife are upstairs all alone without their father and husband. So I do feel guilty about that...his kids deserve a father...

....anyways... I think those are the ones that hit home with me the most.... Other than that...without getting into detail right now.... All other 'sins' fit right in with the majority of the posts in this thread....theft, disrespect, arrogance, selfish myopic thoughts...dishonesty....

...I'll elaborate more in future posts...
 
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