Admin Attention Complaint re: Moderator Abuse in SLR by Lysis

[psychoblast]

I've been a Bluelighter for over a decade, and moderated the Philosophy and Spirituality forum before Lysis had even joined Bluelight.

I am now sad to see that Bluelight is allowing a moderator to engage in Ad Hominem attacks on the OP and to close an on-topic thread for no reason other than that the moderator disagrees with the OP's opinions.

I started a thread in the SLR forum about my sincere belief that BDSM can and should be used by people to unwind dysfunctions put onto us as human beings by our culture, and by the manner in which our culture is at odds with our evoluntarily biology. I put it out there to be helpful. It clearly relates to sex, love and relationships. It was on topic, it was no trolling or mean or in any way inappropriate.

Lysis, an SLR moderator, was one of the first to respond and in that first response actually contemplated closing the thread! Why?!! Because she does not believe in BDSM? Because she disagrees with my opinion? Because my post was not the typical, "Hey, I need sex advice!" type of post? None of those are good reasons. The SLR forum is not limited to people posting who need HELP, but is also a forum for SHARING KNOWLEDGE (or theories / ideas) about sex, love and relationships.

Lysis then went on to add a second response, somewhat later, saying she hoped my wife leaves me and takes my kids from me. WTF?!!!! Moderators are supposed to STOP ad hominem attacks, not add their own! Not only did Lysis NOT stop the ad hominem attacks by others against me in that thread, she did add her own. Totally inappropriate for a moderator.

Then Lysis closed the thread, claiming there were "complaints." WTF?! What kind of "complaint" would justify closing a sincere, on-topic thread that could actually lead to people getting down and dirty with their sexual honesty and attitudes and assumptions?!

Frankly, I could care less about ad hominem attacks. If it is honest and sincere, I think let it stay. Get rid of trollers and off-topic threads and call it a day. Encourage free speech, open discourse, and blessings will follow. That was how I behaved when I was a Bluelight moderator

Because Lysis closed my thread before I could respond meaningfully to various OTHER people who had thoughts about the thread I had started, I started a new thread just for my reply to those people. Lysis deleted that as well.

Apparently, Lysis has (1) a problem with BDSM and/or (2) a problem with me and/or (3) a vision for SLR that reduces it to nothing more than a Dear Abby column, and refuses to consider that it could possibly serve any greater purpose. Due to her issues, Lysis has acted inappropriately, she is a bad moderator, and she should not be allowed to continue moderating the SLR forum with this attitude.

Do you guys actually LIVE what you TALK?! About supporting Wikileaks or Wikipedia or Erowid? That knowledge is power? That open discourse on sites like this is a GOOD thing?!! Or do you just want to be a little party site for giggling teens? I have long thought BL was a deeper site, with a deeper purpose and that the people in charge took that seriously. Well, it's a slipperly slope and right now you are sloping away from being deep or meaningful or open.

The SLR forum is not just a throw away puff-place. The sex drive is the predominant drive motivating humanity at this moment in time, and the dysfunctions people are having with their sex lives and relationships create friction that leads to needless conflict in all other areas of our lives. Yes, there are sane and highly intelligent people who believe that the best road to world peace is through UNRAVELING OUR SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS. And you want to close off that kind of potentially world-saving dialogue from Bluelight? Because if you do not address this issue right here and right now, that is what you are doing.

For evil to prevail, all it takes is for those who are good to do nothing. My posts are a way I am trying to do good, to do something more than nothing. You don't have to agree with me, but my posts are the last that should be censored and closed by some small-minded moderator on a power-trip.

~psychoblast~

 

[alasdairm]

Because Lysis closed my thread before I could respond meaningfully to various OTHER people who had thoughts about the thread I had started, I started a new thread just for my reply to those people. Lysis deleted that as well.

you are mistaken. i removed that post from sight.

neither the forums themselves, nor the support forum have been the correct platform for complaints of this type - i've been a bluelighter 10 years and that's been the case the entire time. as a long-time bluelighter and ex-staff member, you should know this.

from the faq:

How to make comments, suggestions and complaints

Why was my post closed or moved? I don't understand what I did wrong.

Do not lose your cool over a simple misunderstanding. Take a deep breath and try to do this:

- The post will state which moderator closed it. Send them a PM to ask why it was closed.
- Be polite. There is no need to be overly angry or belligerent – this will only make things worse.
- Clearly indicate your question or problem. If you just want an explanation, ask for one. If you disagree with their stated reason for their actions, say why you disagree. Don’t leave them guessing.
- Include a link to the thread in question. This makes it easier for them to know what you are talking about, rather than having to dig.
- Be patient. Moderators have lives, too.
- Please remember that it is not uncommon for a poster's polite inquiry or request for clarifcation to result in a thread being re-opened.

What if I do not receive a response from the moderators?

Please wait at least 72 hours. If you do not receive a response, contact another forum mod, or one of the forum senior mod. Explain the original situation and state how much time has passed.

What if my problem is with the moderators? Who do I contact?

Please make a reasonable attempt to resolve the issue with the moderator(s) in question privately. If that fails, contact one of the senior moderators who oversee the forum in question (Senior Moderator Forum Assignments). If you are still not satisfied, contact the administrator(s) who oversee the forum in question (Administrator Forum Assignments). When you do so, remember the following:

- Once again, be polite and patient.
- Include any communication you have had with the moderator(s) in question.
- Clearly indicate the problem and include links to illustrate what you are talking about.

Bluelight gives a lot of power to the moderators to manage the day-to-day operation of the forums. Making a difficult judgment call or committing a simple human error does not mean a moderator was derelict in their duty. Please note that the complaints procedure stops with the administrators. If you are still unsatisfied, just laugh and remind yourself that Bluelight is only a message board.

.

please review this information and proceed as indicated.

regards

alasdair

 

[L2R]

1- not all staff give reasons for edits/unapprovals
2- admin are notorious for not responding

good luck, pb. don't hold your breath.

i don't understand the strong emphasis on walking on eggshells when trying to improve the functionality of this site. fragile egos need not apply for positions of responsibility.

 

[alasdairm]

1- not all staff give reasons for edits/unapprovals

indeed. a pm to the staff member in question would be a way to find out that information (as indicated in the faq to which i both linked and quoted).

2- admin are notorious for not responding

psychoblast received a response to this thread from an admin in a mere 17 minutes. not bad...

alasdair

 

[psychoblast]

Aladdairm:

I agree I did not know where to post this issue with Lysis. I looked at all forum titles and the "Support" forum says "complaints" in the subheading, so it is an honest mistake. I honestly would not know where to go to find a faq to tell me where to go to make a complaint about a moderator abusing their position or acting inappropriately. The last time I had an issue like this (yes, it has happened before) was probably over 8 years ago, and I seem to recall there was a forum in which you start threads to address these issues, so that is what I remembered, that is what I looked for and that is what I did.

As to who deleted my "reply" thread, that is insignificant. It was not an unreasonable assumption to think the SLR moderator who made ad hominem attacks against me was the one who deleted that reply thread. If it was you, then I would suggest a better solution would have been to simply merge it with the thread to which I was trying to reply but for the closure, which was unwarranted. Why delete entirely a thoughtful and lengthy post that would have had a place but for the unwarranted closure of the poster's original thread?

Again, we have here a running string of callous and incosiderate moderator conduct instead of some one just saying, "WAIT, what was wrong with the original thread again? What did the original poster do that warranted thread closure or deletion?" Because the answer is NOTHING. I put time and thought into my posts. They may not resonate with you, but other people may find a lot of value in them. When you decide to judge between what SINCERE and ON TOPIC posts are worthy of existence, you have overstepped the proper role of moderator.

BTW If you look at Lysis three posts in my original BDSM thread, you will see it would be pointless to think I could get anywhere addressing the issue with her directly.

However, thank you very much for pointing me to the appropriate procedure and I will endeavor to follow it to the extent practicable. To the extent I think you could have handled my reply thread differently, I understand you are busy, and you cannot dive headlong into every clash that comes along, so I don't take it personally, and I hope you don't take my opinion on this matter personally either.

~psychoblast~

 

[alasdairm]

Aladdairm:

it's "alasdairm".

As to who deleted my "reply" thread, that is insignificant. It was not an unreasonable assumption to think the SLR moderator who made ad hominem attacks against me was the one who deleted that reply thread. If it was you, then I would suggest a better solution would have been to simply merge it with the thread to which I was trying to reply but for the closure, which was unwarranted. Why delete entirely a thoughtful and lengthy post that would have had a place but for the unwarranted closure of the poster's original thread?

Again, we have here a running string of callous and incosiderate moderator conduct...

standard operating procedure is to unapprove (temporarily remove from sight) off-topic posts until the forum staff have a chance to review the post.

i simply followed the correct procedure in this case. a procedure that the bl staff have been using for years.

if i took unilateral action i'd be open to accusations of persecution and nazi-moderating. issues like this are best dealt with by the forum staff. it's a system which has been in place for years and has been working well for years. my actions were considerate - considerate of standard operating procedure.

BTW If you look at Lysis three posts in my original BDSM thread, you will see it would be pointless to think I could get anywhere addressing the issue with her directly.

if you have a problem with the actions of a moderator, your first action should be to take up the issue directly with that moderator. that's how adults address issues - frankly, directly and with civility. lysis is an excellent moderator and i have no reason to believe your complaint wouldn't receive a considered response if taken up with her directly in the first instance.

you assumed that she deleted your post. you assume that she'd do nothing in respect of your complaint. you're making an awful lot of assumptions...

However, thank you very much for pointing me to the appropriate procedure and I will endeavor to follow it to the extent practicable.

you're welcome.

so I don't take it personally, and I hope you don't take my opinion on this matter personally either.

of course.

alasdair

 

[L2R]

i sincerely do hope this thread is a signal of snr staff actually improving their performance.

 

[psychoblast]

Alasdair:

1. Sorry for the typo on your name.

2. I have sent Lysis a private message to try to address this.

3. I guess I'd dispute that my reply thread was "off-topic." I was posting additional thoughts on BDSM's role in society, in the SLR forum. Threads don't get much more on-topic. That's where my confusion came in, and my assumption Lysis must have deleted it. To the extent I have made assumptions, even flawed assumptions, they were not grabbed out of thin air.

4. I do somewhat resent your suggestion that my starting of this thread was not "adult," implying it was an immature act. As I said above, I recall the last time I had a complaint about a moderator that the correct approach WAS to start a thread like this, and I have not memorized all FAQ's on here, or all updates thereto, in the 11+ years I've been on here. There is no reason for you to insult my decision to start this thread, even if I did make a mistake in the procedure to follow. It is incorrect of you to suggest that any adult would have responded with a message to Lysis. This is particularly incorrect if you look at Lysis' three posts in my original BDSM thread, including her very first post contemplating closing the thread just because she did not like my theory about BDSM's potential to fix relationships; her second post saying she hoped my wife left me and took my children away, and her third thread gloating in her closing of my thread. As wonderful a moderator as she may be in your experience, no one is perfect and we all have hot-buttons, and if these disputes were resolved based on reputation rather than objective analysis of the particular situation, I believe that would be a mistake.

But thanks for the feedback. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to dailogue on these issues even if I don't see eye-to-eye with them.

~psychoblast~

 

[alasdairm]

2. I have sent Lysis a private message to try to address this.

thank you.

3. I guess I'd dispute that my reply thread was "off-topic." I was posting additional thoughts on BDSM's role in society, in the SLR forum. Threads don't get much more on-topic. That's where my confusion came in, and my assumption Lysis must have deleted it. To the extent I have made assumptions, even flawed assumptions, they were not grabbed out of thin air.

your repost was, in large part, criticism of lyis' moderation. that is why it was unapproved for staff review.

4. I do somewhat resent your suggestion that my starting of this thread was not "adult," implying it was an immature act.

my words were not chosen very carefully. i apologise.

no one is perfect and we all have hot-buttons, and if these disputes were resolved based on reputation rather than objective analysis of the particular situation, I believe that would be a mistake.

i completely agree.

But thanks for the feedback. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to dailogue on these issues even if I don't see eye-to-eye with them.

likewise. thanks for engaging civilly.

alasdair

 

[_a_A_C_c_]

i gather there are two complaints here? the comments made by staff in your bdsm thread and then the issue of who UA'd your follow up post/thread?

as for the initial thread: i am not sure what discussion the original post encourages. it seems more like an essay on your thoughts on how you came to be in a BDSM style relationship and why you think other people should follow suit. i am basing this on the tone/style of your post. however, i am not a mod nor senior staff of SLR, so my opinion does not matter very much.

in the future, if you have issues with the way lysis moderated your thread, you should have PMed another SLR mod (Noodle, Mysterier or llama112). you can also report posts made by anyone to bring it to the attention of forum and senior staff.

as for the UAing of your follow up post: alasdairm followed correct procedure in UAing your post until the forum moderators could have a chance to handle it. generally if senior staff sees a posts that is against the guidelines or in response to a closed thread, we will UA it until mods get a chance to handle it.

ali is also correct that this has been the policy for a rather long time (i don't know how long). this is just to make the moderators job slightly easier since they are not online 24/7.

 

[Lysis]

Just to re-iterate what I posted in the staff forum. This guy sent a PM, and I wrote back that I would re-open it the next day (today). I think I got confused with his other ranty thread, and thought it was longer and the report was on the longer thread that was kinda going down hill. It wasn't, so I probably could have opened it yesterday, but that's neither here nor there. I re-opened it.

FTR, SLR (and other forums as far as I know), close ranty threads that are just stating something. If you don't have a question and you just want to rant, the thread is usually closed for being blog material. I remember this when I first started, so AFAIK, this has been a policy for a while.

The OP is a rant, and llama commented that it was bloggy and left it open. The OP then went on to attack llama for even suggesting it. I saw it and just went with what llama said and left it open, but I *did* have the same feeling as she did: this is blog material.

So, I re-opened it, but OP, if you just create long, ranty threads with no real question and just want to state something, you need to keep it in your blog. Someone said we leave open worse threads, but, well, we've CLOSED less ranty, bloggy posts before, so please keep that in mind when you make threads in SLR.

Thanks.