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Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 10

rawbanana said:
I’m the same way I’ve tried twice this year and I couldn’t do it. It’s like part of me hasn’t given up yet. Although I view that part of me as foolish. There’s no way I’m getting better.

I view myself as a complete failure now. I knew better than to let them inject me with this poison. It’s been hard to come to terms with having to die but I genuinely feel like that’s my destiny now. I have no money, no job, a fucked up family, so much anxiety and pain. I know people will see it as me giving up but it’s courageous to kill yourself in my opinion. I hope I can develop that courage.
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Dont give up guys. Remember to stay pure and focused on God ✝️
 
rawbanana said:
I’m the same way I’ve tried twice this year and I couldn’t do it. It’s like part of me hasn’t given up yet. Although I view that part of me as foolish. There’s no way I’m getting better.

I view myself as a complete failure now. I knew better than to let them inject me with this poison. It’s been hard to come to terms with having to die but I genuinely feel like that’s my destiny now. I have no money, no job, a fucked up family, so much anxiety and pain. I know people will see it as me giving up but it’s courageous to kill yourself in my opinion. I hope I can develop that courage.
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It's really scary to be so confronted by your own survival instinct, and understanding how difficult it actually is to overcome it. Preservation of the organism is the most fundamental part of any organism.

You will recover though, but it will take time and it will really test your patience. Your job through this period is to keep your body alive so your brain and nervous system can recover. Do whatever it takes to make that recovery come faster, go for runs, take the right supplements. Later in the healing journey try mdma and mushrooms/truffles.
 
rawbanana said:
I’m the same way I’ve tried twice this year and I couldn’t do it. It’s like part of me hasn’t given up yet. Although I view that part of me as foolish. There’s no way I’m getting better.

I view myself as a complete failure now. I knew better than to let them inject me with this poison. It’s been hard to come to terms with having to die but I genuinely feel like that’s my destiny now. I have no money, no job, a fucked up family, so much anxiety and pain. I know people will see it as me giving up but it’s courageous to kill yourself in my opinion. I hope I can develop that courage.
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If it helps. You had 4 injections and have only been off a short amount of time. If your suffer anhedonia it does get better. Your in the worst part right now so hang in there.
 
A part of me wants to read the notes i was writing for the doctors in hospital to prove my sanity. Just to see how fucking insane I sounded. Cos I know I was writing some dumb fucking shit.
 
IOSIP said:
A part of me wants to read the notes i was writing for the doctors in hospital to prove my sanity. Just to see how fucking insane I sounded. Cos I know I was writing some dumb fucking shit.
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I read mine and its all crazy shit i was saying like Trudeau was following me and i kept calling him the n word during my psychotic episodes lol.
 
stolensoul said:
It's really scary to be so confronted by your own survival instinct, and understanding how difficult it actually is to overcome it. Preservation of the organism is the most fundamental part of any organism.

You will recover though, but it will take time and it will really test your patience. Your job through this period is to keep your body alive so your brain and nervous system can recover. Do whatever it takes to make that recovery come faster, go for runs, take the right supplements. Later in the healing journey try mdma and mushrooms/truffles.
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I honestly have become a vegetable. I can’t go for runs cause I get tired so easily. My life has become a joke. All I do is scroll on the internet looking for ways to die.
 
I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it through the months it’s going to take to recover because it’s just too painful and I’m not strong enough. I thought connecting with people going through the same thing would be enough but it’s not.
 
rawbanana said:
I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it through the months it’s going to take to recover because it’s just too painful and I’m not strong enough. I thought connecting with people going through the same thing would be enough but it’s not.
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Hold one. There is love in the air🧡
 
IOSIP said:
As much as I have thus forum. I also have nothing. No one can take this pain away. No one well ever truly know what ive lost. I don't know what ive lost. I can't explain what ive lost. But i feel as if ive lost something core go the human experience.

I want to die. I want to die peacefully. But I also don't want to die. I want to live. But the longer this goes on the scarier everything becomes.

Ive said it before but my parents will die. And then who will keep me safe? Thank God i have a dad that can afford to keep ke fed and sheltered for free.

I don't text my friends anymore. I have nothing to say to them. And I feel this disconnect from everyone that I know will grow into a gaping hole i can't come back from.

I really fucked this up. And I can never take it back its killing me.
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It is insane how can the effects of invega last so long and strip away all positives from life while concentrating so immense amounts of suffering into every moment of existence. This is what psychiatrists don't know and I pity them too because if they knew what they did many of them would probably take their own life, at least those who had a little bit of good in them.

This fortune that you have is not deserved and it's not your fault.
 
t_xeplionhell said:
It is insane how can the effects of invega last so long and strip away all positives from life while concentrating so immense amounts of suffering into every moment of existence. This is what psychiatrists don't know and I pity them too because if they knew what they did many of them would probably take their own life, at least those who had a little bit of good in them.

This fortune that you have is not deserved and it's not your fault.
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David Hawkins number one rule to spiritual enlightment is "be kind to everyone no exceptions". 🩵
 
YogirisingKundalini said:
Can you go to church and pray? I find divine energy always uplifting me when im there. Power of Jesus ✝️🩵
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I can’t feel divine energy anymore. In fact I can’t feel “vibes” at all anymore. Life feels completely flat. I’m not Christian but I do pray because I’m desperate but it doesn’t make me feel better anymore because part of me blames God for this happening in the first place. But I shouldn’t blame God because it’s my fault.
 
rawbanana said:
I can’t feel divine energy anymore. In fact I can’t feel “vibes” at all anymore. Life feels completely flat. I’m not Christian but I do pray because I’m desperate but it doesn’t make me feel better anymore because part of me blames God for this happening in the first place. But I shouldn’t blame God because it’s my fault.
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Neurogenesis is real. Eat healthy lots of raw fruits and vegetables nuts etc. I personally feel much better when i dont consume meat which per some spiritual beliefs contains negative energy of stress fear and suffering
 
YogirisingKundalini said:
Neurogenesis is real. Eat healthy lots of raw fruits and vegetables nuts etc. I personally feel much better when i dont consume meat which per some spiritual beliefs contains negative energy of stress fear and suffering
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I used to be comfortable eating a plant based diet but actually since starting Invega I can’t go without consuming at least dairy. When I don’t consume animal products I feel so weak and dizzy.
 
rawbanana said:
I used to be comfortable eating a plant based diet but actually since starting Invega I can’t go without consuming at least dairy. When I don’t consume animal products I feel so weak and dizzy.
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Yeah milk is ok as long its from non cruel sources. Energy of milk from happy well treated cow stenghtens US but the one from a cos treated like a slave 24/7 in cage milked daily then butchered its weak. You need to do vegetarian diet right. That's why people go weak
 
I spent most of my time last year researching how to kms too. I bought the chemicals for it, but I couldn't go through with it because I thought if i die I won't even know that I'm dead, so it's kind of pointless. Life was unbearable and everyday was the same. It felt like the world had ended and I was just existing. I saw no future and thought I've felt like this for X amount of months already so it will be like this forever. I'd wake up and just not want to do anything at all. I'd lay there for most of the day trying to fall asleep again.
 
DrZaius1 said:
I spent most of my time last year researching how to kms too. I bought the chemicals for it, but I couldn't go through with it because I thought if i die I won't even know that I'm dead, so it's kind of pointless. Life was unbearable and everyday was the same. It felt like the world had ended and I was just existing. I saw no future and thought I've felt like this for X amount of months already so it will be like this forever. I'd wake up and just not want to do anything at all. I'd lay there for most of the day trying to fall asleep again.
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How do you feel now? How much Invega did you take?
 
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