Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 10

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I took my last shot a while ago, but started healing in intervals starting at month 3. This went until month 10-12 until I was healed. I took 2 shots. 2 when I first got it and 1 a month after.

I've taken risperdal, abilify, invega, haldol, geodon, cobenfy, prolixin and zyprexa.

They say I have schizophrenia but I don't think I need any medicine for it.
How did in 12 months from 2 shots? How? You had a lot of antipsychotics. How is that possible? Did you take any drugs like stimulants,dopamine reuptake inhibitor and dopamine agonists?
 
When I start to feel hope it feels like I’m in denial about the truth. I honestly feel like everyone who thinks there is a recovery from this is in denial. I just can’t do it. I can’t!

What else do you do besides have hope? So I understand why people hold on, but I can’t. I feel so much empathy for anyone who has had to go through this.

I'm clearly much better than I was when I was injected, and a lot went wrong. I'm still standing and getting on with my life. I made new friends. A woman I know has a crush on me, I could have a relationship but I forsee compatibility issues with her so I might not go for it, but like... I could be in a relationship if I wanted it. The only things wrong with me are low libido, some hypoesthesia, and mild emotional blunting. I am very high on cannabis right now, I can think, I'm not disassociated, I can orgasm and enjoy it, music feels good I can think of things to say, I can react emotionally, I can paint again, I have feelings and opinions about the art I see. I'm playing my favorite video game right now. I'm trying to reignite my passion for anti-fascist activism. This could be you. Even if you're not completely normal, you will adapt and accept what is, and find the will to keep going. But you'll never have the chance to get better if you don't give it to yourself and keep on living.
 
I'm clearly much better than I was when I was injected, and a lot went wrong. I'm still standing and getting on with my life. I made new friends. A woman I know has a crush on me, I could have a relationship but I forsee compatibility issues with her so I might not go for it, but like... I could be in a relationship if I wanted it. The only things wrong with me are low libido, some hypoesthesia, and mild emotional blunting. I am very high on cannabis right now, I can think, I'm not disassociated, I can orgasm and enjoy it, music feels good I can think of things to say, I can react emotionally, I can paint again, I have feelings and opinions about the art I see. I'm playing my favorite video game right now. I'm trying to reignite my passion for anti-fascist activism. This could be you. Even if you're not completely normal, you will adapt and accept what is, and find the will to keep going. But you'll never have the chance to get better if you don't give it to yourself and keep on living.
Yeah I understand that. My life situation even apart from this drug is very bad now. All of it combined is just a lot to bear. I’m super unhappy. Unbelievably unhappy. I think I will probably die just because I have no will to live anymore.
 
Yeah I understand that. My life situation even apart from this drug is very bad now. All of it combined is just a lot to bear. I’m super unhappy. Unbelievably unhappy. I think I will probably die just because I have no will to live anymore.

I felt like that for awile on invega and abilify and for awile i was honestly only living because of my cat. I couldnt leave her alone. But i managed to go from being pretty chubby at 225lbs to about 210lbs of mostly muscle now. Im 43 ow and in far better shape then i was when i was 20 and doing bricklaying. I feel great these days way better then pre invega

So hang in there there is hope. Things get better
 
I barely get pleasure from anything after this drug,it horrible. I hope stimulants can help with this.
 
I felt like that for awile on invega and abilify and for awile i was honestly only living because of my cat. I couldnt leave her alone. But i managed to go from being pretty chubby at 225lbs to about 210lbs of mostly muscle now. Im 43 ow and in far better shape then i was when i was 20 and doing bricklaying. I feel great these days way better then pre invega

So hang in there there is hope. Things get better
I just really want my mind to go back to normal. I miss feeling really interested in things. I miss that deep feeling of connection and joy. I don’t want to live if I can’t feel that anymore.
 
I just really want my mind to go back to normal. I miss feeling really interested in things. I miss that deep feeling of connection and joy. I don’t want to live if I can’t feel that anymore.

It will come back trust me. Im actually in a far better state of mind now then pre invega. I am also in much better shape.

I wouldnt want to go back to pre invega now

You will get better to trust me.
 
I really miss my innocence and my sense of spirituality. I feel like after this horrific experience I now feel like I need to careful with how I share my thoughts because this experience was fucking evil.
 
The worst part for me was beng locked up in the psych ward. Fuck that. I was thrown in solitary 6 times
 
Bro the hospital they put me I was thrown into a cell looking room with mattress on a hard floor. This is where most psychotic patients are brought to and I had a cast and brain injury at the time. Worst few days ever.

Was that solitary or the regular hospital? Solitary was like that here just a hard mat to sleep on
 
Seriously what is this uncomfortable feeling in my head? Can someone explain it?
The down regulation of your endocrine system. Possible calcification of your pineal gland and high prolactin from your pituitary gland.
 
Was that solitary or the regular hospital? Solitary was like that here just a hard mat to sleep on
one floor was the main regular hospital but picu was a prison type holding area for 72 hours till you stabalize from heavy psychosis. Thin mats on the floor, concrete ground , toilet, sink , no phones only books. Only then will u go to main psych ward.
 
Yeah I understand that. My life situation even apart from this drug is very bad now. All of it combined is just a lot to bear. I’m super unhappy. Unbelievably unhappy. I think I will probably die just because I have no will to live anymore.
It can still change for you. You'll never know if you die. You'll be glad you didn't do it.

@paranoid android can you make sure she has someone looking out for her? I'm going to be busy soon, especially tomorrow.
 
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