today i feel really bad guys, i wake up with suicidal thoughts, i think i never come back the happy boy i used to be, anxiety in the morning, now it's 3 months that i don't take psychiatric drugs anymore but i'm in a great depression, risperdal is real shit there it takes a very long time before it detaches from the receptors, I feel better taking l dopa (mucuna pruriens seeds) and now I'm going to try to take lsa seeds to create new neuronal connections, the last time I took them I was two months without depression now I try again and hope to heal forever