• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v4

Status
Not open for further replies.
Master Green said:
Day 123
I feel my eyes are slowly begin to look normal again.
I am more active.
My sense of smell is getting better.
Less pressure in my head (all-time low since off)
Mind getting sharper by each week.
Drug induced depression improved.
Anhedonia improved. At this point i have most of my interests back.
I have a strong feeling to connect with girls again. My desire for sex is back.
Click to expand...
Did you notice the weight gain go away? What are you taking now?
 
Hey everyone. It’s been a while, so I figured I’d post an update. I had two shots, and I officially crossed the one year mark about three weeks ago. Unfortunately, I’m not fully recovered. However, I do have some improvements.

The apathy and anhedonia have lessened. I used to sit in bed all day completely miserable, with no interest in anything. Every waking moment was torture, and all I would do is browse this forum or research invega-related things on the internet. Lately, I’ve been doing normal hobbies again. I spend most of my time now playing videogames, listening to podcasts, watching movies/tv, keeping up with current events, etc. I also reconnected with some of my friends and on New Years I hung out with them for the first time in a year. We were actually able to laugh and joke around and go out and do things in the city.

My intelligence and critical thinking skills have improved too. I used to feel like I was like literally mentally handicapped. I remember commenting to someone that children in elementary school were smarter than me now. I legitimately thought that I was just going to have to file for disability and spend the rest of my life unable to function, feeling like an idiot. However, my ability to reason and think has started to return. For example, when I watch movies/tv, I’m able to analyze the subtleties of the plot, nuances of characters, undertones and themes, stuff like that. I’ve had lengthy discussions with people lately just analyzing those sorts of things in detail. Compare that to a couple of months ago when I could barely remember my own phone number and literally just watching Family Guy made me depressed because I was too stupid to keep up with a simple comedy show.

I’ve also started to have a bit more emotion. Before I was completely apathetic and dead inside. Someone could slap me in the face and kill my whole family and I wouldn’t even have a reaction. It was impossible for me to even be angry. Now I notice I’m able to feel frustration or slight anger at little annoyances in life. Like neighbors being noisy, internet not working, even losing in an online game. I’ve also been able to cry twice in like the last four months, for very short periods of time. However, I still feel like I’m kinda missing “love” emotions, things that would make you want to romantically pursue a partner. Whereas before I always loved girls and relationships.

Overall, I’ve improved. It is a bummer though, because after an entire year you’d expect to be totally back to normal. However, I’m past the days when I used to literally think about suicide all day and thought it would never get better. I’m still waiting to fully recover, but the days are passing easier and I don’t feel the need to always check this site like I used to. Most of the time I just get up and find something to do.

As far as substances go, I can tell my dopamine receptors need more time to heal. Weed still doesn’t give me euphoria the way it used to before invega, and I still can’t get drunk. Recently I sort of felt a very mild effect from alcohol, but it was hardly noticeable. And this was after drinking several shots and glasses of 100 proof liquor. My friend was pretty much wasted, but I had a mild buzz, if anything. I haven’t tried anything like caffeine or adderall in months though.

Anyway, for the people who are still early in the process, you just have to hang in there. I remember people telling me that I would start to improve around month 6, but honestly I was still feeling like shit until around month 10. And even then the improvements were small and gradual. I’m hoping that within the next three months or so I can say I've recovered fully.
 
A
Ghostv2314 said:
Hey everyone. It’s been a while, so I figured I’d post an update. I had two shots, and I officially crossed the one year mark about three weeks ago. Unfortunately, I’m not fully recovered. However, I do have some improvements.

The apathy and anhedonia have lessened. I used to sit in bed all day completely miserable, with no interest in anything. Every waking moment was torture, and all I would do is browse this forum or research invega-related things on the internet. Lately, I’ve been doing normal hobbies again. I spend most of my time now playing videogames, listening to podcasts, watching movies/tv, keeping up with current events, etc. I also reconnected with some of my friends and on New Years I hung out with them for the first time in a year. We were actually able to laugh and joke around and go out and do things in the city.

My intelligence and critical thinking skills have improved too. I used to feel like I was like literally mentally handicapped. I remember commenting to someone that children in elementary school were smarter than me now. I legitimately thought that I was just going to have to file for disability and spend the rest of my life unable to function, feeling like an idiot. However, my ability to reason and think has started to return. For example, when I watch movies/tv, I’m able to analyze the subtleties of the plot, nuances of characters, undertones and themes, stuff like that. I’ve had lengthy discussions with people lately just analyzing those sorts of things in detail. Compare that to a couple of months ago when I could barely remember my own phone number and literally just watching Family Guy made me depressed because I was too stupid to keep up with a simple comedy show.

I’ve also started to have a bit more emotion. Before I was completely apathetic and dead inside. Someone could slap me in the face and kill my whole family and I wouldn’t even have a reaction. It was impossible for me to even be angry. Now I notice I’m able to feel frustration or slight anger at little annoyances in life. Like neighbors being noisy, internet not working, even losing in an online game. I’ve also been able to cry twice in like the last four months, for very short periods of time. However, I still feel like I’m kinda missing “love” emotions, things that would make you want to romantically pursue a partner. Whereas before I always loved girls and relationships.

Overall, I’ve improved. It is a bummer though, because after an entire year you’d expect to be totally back to normal. However, I’m past the days when I used to literally think about suicide all day and thought it would never get better. I’m still waiting to fully recover, but the days are passing easier and I don’t feel the need to always check this site like I used to. Most of the time I just get up and find something to do.

As far as substances go, I can tell my dopamine receptors need more time to heal. Weed still doesn’t give me euphoria the way it used to before invega, and I still can’t get drunk. Recently I sort of felt a very mild effect from alcohol, but it was hardly noticeable. And this was after drinking several shots and glasses of 100 proof liquor. My friend was pretty much wasted, but I had a mild buzz, if anything. I haven’t tried anything like caffeine or adderall in months though.

Anyway, for the people who are still early in the process, you just have to hang in there. I remember people telling me that I would start to improve around month 6, but honestly I was still feeling like shit until around month 10. And even then the improvements were small and gradual. I’m hoping that within the next three months or so I can say I've recovered fully.
Click to expand...
Aye thanks for coming back to update man. You and I are a couple months apart in invega doses so it’s been nice to see how you’ve progressed thus far. I’m happy to hear you’re doing a lot better. I am too, things are coming back together. Still not fully recovered but a lot better than things were. I’m almost to month 11 now. I’ve had a lot of the same victories you were talking about. Still a long way to go on the substances though, I’m sure in due time that will come back too. Even if it doesn’t sober way is the way to go in my opinion. It doesn’t mask your emotions like weed and alcohol does. Glory to God bro. Again happy to see you posted again.
 
Ghostv2314 said:
Hey everyone. It’s been a while, so I figured I’d post an update. I had two shots, and I officially crossed the one year mark about three weeks ago. Unfortunately, I’m not fully recovered. However, I do have some improvements.

The apathy and anhedonia have lessened. I used to sit in bed all day completely miserable, with no interest in anything. Every waking moment was torture, and all I would do is browse this forum or research invega-related things on the internet. Lately, I’ve been doing normal hobbies again. I spend most of my time now playing videogames, listening to podcasts, watching movies/tv, keeping up with current events, etc. I also reconnected with some of my friends and on New Years I hung out with them for the first time in a year. We were actually able to laugh and joke around and go out and do things in the city.

My intelligence and critical thinking skills have improved too. I used to feel like I was like literally mentally handicapped. I remember commenting to someone that children in elementary school were smarter than me now. I legitimately thought that I was just going to have to file for disability and spend the rest of my life unable to function, feeling like an idiot. However, my ability to reason and think has started to return. For example, when I watch movies/tv, I’m able to analyze the subtleties of the plot, nuances of characters, undertones and themes, stuff like that. I’ve had lengthy discussions with people lately just analyzing those sorts of things in detail. Compare that to a couple of months ago when I could barely remember my own phone number and literally just watching Family Guy made me depressed because I was too stupid to keep up with a simple comedy show.

I’ve also started to have a bit more emotion. Before I was completely apathetic and dead inside. Someone could slap me in the face and kill my whole family and I wouldn’t even have a reaction. It was impossible for me to even be angry. Now I notice I’m able to feel frustration or slight anger at little annoyances in life. Like neighbors being noisy, internet not working, even losing in an online game. I’ve also been able to cry twice in like the last four months, for very short periods of time. However, I still feel like I’m kinda missing “love” emotions, things that would make you want to romantically pursue a partner. Whereas before I always loved girls and relationships.

Overall, I’ve improved. It is a bummer though, because after an entire year you’d expect to be totally back to normal. However, I’m past the days when I used to literally think about suicide all day and thought it would never get better. I’m still waiting to fully recover, but the days are passing easier and I don’t feel the need to always check this site like I used to. Most of the time I just get up and find something to do.

As far as substances go, I can tell my dopamine receptors need more time to heal. Weed still doesn’t give me euphoria the way it used to before invega, and I still can’t get drunk. Recently I sort of felt a very mild effect from alcohol, but it was hardly noticeable. And this was after drinking several shots and glasses of 100 proof liquor. My friend was pretty much wasted, but I had a mild buzz, if anything. I haven’t tried anything like caffeine or adderall in months though.

Anyway, for the people who are still early in the process, you just have to hang in there. I remember people telling me that I would start to improve around month 6, but honestly I was still feeling like shit until around month 10. And even then the improvements were small and gradual. I’m hoping that within the next three months or so I can say I've recovered fully.
Click to expand...
I'm glad you didn't say you felt better at 6 months. I'm at 6 months now and I feel like death. Haven't left the couch all day. Ughhh
 
HelpMeInvega said:
Did you notice the weight gain subside after coming off the medication?
Click to expand...
I gained the most fat i have ever gained in my life on a similar shot haldol. People would comment on things like i got a big stomach and my cheeks are fat (I gained 30/40lbs im around 10 months off i think my weight has got way better people ask if i lost weight
 
:)Hi guys haven't updated in a while. Things that have gotten a lot better for me.(y) im around 9/10 months off. Ahedonia/boredom/motivation/weight/intelligence/sexual stuff/emotions are a lot better. Working out gives me endorphins or something now cause it felt good compared to before i had zero enjoyment from lifting weights when i tried earlier off the shot. Music feels like its starting to come back. Can't really get intoxicated still though.
 
haldolhell said:
I gained the most fat i have ever gained in my life on a similar shot haldol. People would comment on things like i got a big stomach and my cheeks are fat (I gained 30/40lbs im around 10 months off i think my weight has got way better people ask if i lost weight
Click to expand...
Are you on a different medication?
 
haldolhell said:
:)Hi guys haven't updated in a while. Things that have gotten a lot better for me.(y) im around 9/10 months off. Ahedonia/boredom/motivation/weight/intelligence/sexual stuff/emotions are a lot better. Working out gives me endorphins or something now cause it felt good compared to before i had zero enjoyment from lifting weights when i tried earlier off the shot. Music feels like its starting to come back. Can't really get intoxicated still though.
Click to expand...
Are you off of medication now?
 
Ghostv2314 said:
Hey everyone. It’s been a while, so I figured I’d post an update. I had two shots, and I officially crossed the one year mark about three weeks ago. Unfortunately, I’m not fully recovered. However, I do have some improvements.

The apathy and anhedonia have lessened. I used to sit in bed all day completely miserable, with no interest in anything. Every waking moment was torture, and all I would do is browse this forum or research invega-related things on the internet. Lately, I’ve been doing normal hobbies again. I spend most of my time now playing videogames, listening to podcasts, watching movies/tv, keeping up with current events, etc. I also reconnected with some of my friends and on New Years I hung out with them for the first time in a year. We were actually able to laugh and joke around and go out and do things in the city.

My intelligence and critical thinking skills have improved too. I used to feel like I was like literally mentally handicapped. I remember commenting to someone that children in elementary school were smarter than me now. I legitimately thought that I was just going to have to file for disability and spend the rest of my life unable to function, feeling like an idiot. However, my ability to reason and think has started to return. For example, when I watch movies/tv, I’m able to analyze the subtleties of the plot, nuances of characters, undertones and themes, stuff like that. I’ve had lengthy discussions with people lately just analyzing those sorts of things in detail. Compare that to a couple of months ago when I could barely remember my own phone number and literally just watching Family Guy made me depressed because I was too stupid to keep up with a simple comedy show.

I’ve also started to have a bit more emotion. Before I was completely apathetic and dead inside. Someone could slap me in the face and kill my whole family and I wouldn’t even have a reaction. It was impossible for me to even be angry. Now I notice I’m able to feel frustration or slight anger at little annoyances in life. Like neighbors being noisy, internet not working, even losing in an online game. I’ve also been able to cry twice in like the last four months, for very short periods of time. However, I still feel like I’m kinda missing “love” emotions, things that would make you want to romantically pursue a partner. Whereas before I always loved girls and relationships.

Overall, I’ve improved. It is a bummer though, because after an entire year you’d expect to be totally back to normal. However, I’m past the days when I used to literally think about suicide all day and thought it would never get better. I’m still waiting to fully recover, but the days are passing easier and I don’t feel the need to always check this site like I used to. Most of the time I just get up and find something to do.

As far as substances go, I can tell my dopamine receptors need more time to heal. Weed still doesn’t give me euphoria the way it used to before invega, and I still can’t get drunk. Recently I sort of felt a very mild effect from alcohol, but it was hardly noticeable. And this was after drinking several shots and glasses of 100 proof liquor. My friend was pretty much wasted, but I had a mild buzz, if anything. I haven’t tried anything like caffeine or adderall in months though.

Anyway, for the people who are still early in the process, you just have to hang in there. I remember people telling me that I would start to improve around month 6, but honestly I was still feeling like shit until around month 10. And even then the improvements were small and gradual. I’m hoping that within the next three months or so I can say I've recovered fully.
Click to expand...
what about weight loss? did you lose any weight?
 
Ghostv2314 said:
Hey everyone. It’s been a while, so I figured I’d post an update. I had two shots, and I officially crossed the one year mark about three weeks ago. Unfortunately, I’m not fully recovered. However, I do have some improvements.

The apathy and anhedonia have lessened. I used to sit in bed all day completely miserable, with no interest in anything. Every waking moment was torture, and all I would do is browse this forum or research invega-related things on the internet. Lately, I’ve been doing normal hobbies again. I spend most of my time now playing videogames, listening to podcasts, watching movies/tv, keeping up with current events, etc. I also reconnected with some of my friends and on New Years I hung out with them for the first time in a year. We were actually able to laugh and joke around and go out and do things in the city.

My intelligence and critical thinking skills have improved too. I used to feel like I was like literally mentally handicapped. I remember commenting to someone that children in elementary school were smarter than me now. I legitimately thought that I was just going to have to file for disability and spend the rest of my life unable to function, feeling like an idiot. However, my ability to reason and think has started to return. For example, when I watch movies/tv, I’m able to analyze the subtleties of the plot, nuances of characters, undertones and themes, stuff like that. I’ve had lengthy discussions with people lately just analyzing those sorts of things in detail. Compare that to a couple of months ago when I could barely remember my own phone number and literally just watching Family Guy made me depressed because I was too stupid to keep up with a simple comedy show.

I’ve also started to have a bit more emotion. Before I was completely apathetic and dead inside. Someone could slap me in the face and kill my whole family and I wouldn’t even have a reaction. It was impossible for me to even be angry. Now I notice I’m able to feel frustration or slight anger at little annoyances in life. Like neighbors being noisy, internet not working, even losing in an online game. I’ve also been able to cry twice in like the last four months, for very short periods of time. However, I still feel like I’m kinda missing “love” emotions, things that would make you want to romantically pursue a partner. Whereas before I always loved girls and relationships.

Overall, I’ve improved. It is a bummer though, because after an entire year you’d expect to be totally back to normal. However, I’m past the days when I used to literally think about suicide all day and thought it would never get better. I’m still waiting to fully recover, but the days are passing easier and I don’t feel the need to always check this site like I used to. Most of the time I just get up and find something to do.

As far as substances go, I can tell my dopamine receptors need more time to heal. Weed still doesn’t give me euphoria the way it used to before invega, and I still can’t get drunk. Recently I sort of felt a very mild effect from alcohol, but it was hardly noticeable. And this was after drinking several shots and glasses of 100 proof liquor. My friend was pretty much wasted, but I had a mild buzz, if anything. I haven’t tried anything like caffeine or adderall in months though.

Anyway, for the people who are still early in the process, you just have to hang in there. I remember people telling me that I would start to improve around month 6, but honestly I was still feeling like shit until around month 10. And even then the improvements were small and gradual. I’m hoping that within the next three months or so I can say I've recovered fully.
Click to expand...
My biggest contention is with weed, all I want is the euphoria from weed again and you're telling me a year after it still doesn't work? I really want to end my life, it may seem insignificant but weed really was my go to for unhappiness.

Now I've got nothing but weight gain, memory loss and nonexistent libido to go with my suicidal thoughts.

Are there any people who have managed to get high properly after stopping Invega?
 
gt_shadow said:
My biggest contention is with weed, all I want is the euphoria from weed again and you're telling me a year after it still doesn't work? I really want to end my life, it may seem insignificant but weed really was my go to for unhappiness.

Now I've got nothing but weight gain, memory loss and nonexistent libido to go with my suicidal thoughts.

Are there any people who have managed to get high properly after stopping Invega?
Click to expand...
Trust me I'm a big as a stoner as stoners get and straight addicted. I thought id never get used to not having weed and wanted to die. It's gonna be rough and slow time. I'm starting to get slight effects they started 7/8 months from just half a joint I have to take a fat dab to get a slight rush and im smoking everyday so big time tolerance. It sucks man but i swear things become enjoyable without weed and I was freaking out big time because i used weed for my coping skill for THOUSANDS of days in a row
 
haldolhell said:
Trust me I'm a big as a stoner as stoners get and stra
haldolhell said:
Trust me I'm a big as a stoner as stoners get and straight addicted. I thought id never get used to not having weed and wanted to die. It's gonna be rough and slow time. I'm starting to get slight effects they started 7/8 months from just half a joint I have to take a fat dab to get a slight rush and im smoking everyday so big time tolerance. It sucks man but i swear things become enjoyable without weed and I was freaking out big time because i used weed for my coping skill for THOUSANDS of days in a row
Click to expand...

ight addicted. I thought id never get used to not having weed and wanted to die. It's gonna be rough and slow time. I'm starting to get slight effects they started 7/8 months from just half a joint I have to take a fat dab to get a slight rush and im smoking everyday so big time tolerance. It sucks man but i swear things become enjoyable without weed and I was freaking out big time because i used weed for my coping skill for THOUSANDS of days in a row
Click to expand...
I used to smoke 7 GRAMS a day on a day without hanging out with friends so trust me bro it was devastating. I feel like its slightly improving my mood rather then doing nothing before.
 
haldolhell said:
I used to smoke 7 GRAMS a day on a day without hanging out with friends so trust me bro it was devastating. I feel like its slightly improving my mood rather then doing nothing before.
Click to expand...
haldolhell said:
Trust me I'm a big as a stoner as stoners get and straight addicted. I thought id never get used to not having weed and wanted to die. It's gonna be rough and slow time. I'm starting to get slight effects they started 7/8 months from just half a joint I have to take a fat dab to get a slight rush and im smoking everyday so big time tolerance. It sucks man but i swear things become enjoyable without weed and I was freaking out big time because i used weed for my coping skill for THOUSANDS of days in a row
Click to expand...
Glad to hear from a fellow stoner, thanks for the information and the support.

The moment I'm off this medication I'm gonna blast myself with shrooms and ecstasy to try and clean out my receptors.

Thanks for letting me know about your progress and how you've dealt with it, I'm literally suffering everyday. Will keep you posted.
 
Day 226
I have lots of problems with sleeping well lately. But that can be, because i have a lot of problems with mold at my parents house .
I have a sensitive sense of smell.
I can smell the mold in this house. But my parents say it is just humidity...that's nonsense.. anyway ..
I can see what kind of life these people live.... basically a very depressed life. Because they underestimate the effect of mold. They aren't even aware of it. They are medicore happy in summer when mold it very little and depressed in winter. It has been like this for years.
Mold is not to be underestimated. It can determinate a happy life or a life of misery and depression, regardless of personality willpower ect..

I am trying to find a new apartment for myself at the moment. I can't go to my same old apartment.
It is not easy, cause i have no job and i have to renew my ID. And i have to take a new picture of myself, but i am not that pleased with how i look at the moment...
I think i just have to 'get over it'. I also lost my drivers license, based on a "medical evaluation"... I had to do a test.. which i passed, but they say i can become schizophrenic again, and therefore i have to be free of symptoms for at least 6 months or so...
I don't know. I am very unhappy at the moment.
My parents yell at me. They are under influence of mold too, but they blame me for cleaning up the moldy curtains for example.
They blame my schizophrenia for this. It's humiliating and unfair.
It is somehow frustrating to come to the conclusion, that their house has problems with mold too, same as my old flat.
The only difference is that their sleeping room is not moldy, but the rest of the house is.. how ironical. So they can at least recover from the living room a bit, while i can't.

The days are very depressing. Again, i lost my drivers license. I have to go everywhere by bus now. This sucks.
I am sitting in the living room right now, and i can smell that unpleasant moldy smell, coming from the basement. I am sitting here with a mask lol. Crazy.
But i certainly feel that it is time for change. I am out of that sinkhole of Invega. My old life is catching up with me- so are the old problems.
I honestly am a bit overwhelmed. In this moldy environment i have constant stomach pain depression, breathing problems and headaches. Sometimes it is like i want to throw up even.
The mold gets more intense in the winter months, that's for sure.
Ok enough of that mold talk. I think you guys get my point. I am just in survival mode all the time lately, and this is basically how i developed schizophrenia in the first place. Being stressed 24/7, worried, breathing problems...fear...
 
I just laid in my bed for like 5 minutes saying "oh my God oh my God i can't believe i feel this way still oh my God" i couldn't stop saying it. It's total misery. I hope I'm in the same boat as you guys and I'm not worse off. I'm 6 months off. I'm not talking to myself in the psychosis way but more like... traumatized by this blank empty anxious feeling. I can't believe this is possible to feel this way.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top