Hey all,
I am almost two years off of this drug. It's almost never on my mind lately, but remembering that hopeless christmas two years ago where I could feel absolutely no emotion or happiness made me feel like I should make an update here.
I am fully recovered from invega sustenna. I can laugh, not eat, exercise, have interests, smile for no reason, have long and meaningful conversations, be emotionally touched by experiences, empathize, feel remorse, enjoy logical deduction, anticipate things with excitement, and overall just be fully human.
On my last update I shared that I had a second psychosis in March in which I was hospitalized. I told them I was allergic to the invega shot. I received one haldol shot and was on the invega pill for around 8 days, which i immediately stopped taking upon release. I haven't taken it since, nor have I had any more psychosis. I do have the pills on hand, just in case, and I regularly work with a therapist, which I didnt believe in before but now I find has been an immeasurable help in dealing with my coping mechanisms concerning my own thought. I also had my COPPER IUD REMOVED in july. I have suspicion that excess copper may have been a culprit in all of this. Now, when I reach patterns of thought that may have spun me up and whacked me out before, I am able to neutralize them with reasoning and rational thinking. This may be due to therapy, personal growth, a lack of excess copper, or something else. Or, I may still be a mental time bomb just waiting to blow...but I really dont think so. I think that this 2.5 year episode of literal hell is closing its chapter completely.
There is hope. You will be able to feel a glimmer of life at the end of year 1. During year 1, I also could do nothing but numb myself with mobile games and stupid shit online. Hold on to every scrap of joy that you can. By the end of year 2 , as I am, invega will be a faint memory of the worst time possible in your life. How can you fear death after invega? People that tell you that there is no hope are either focusing so much on the negative that they make it real, or have something else going on.
Sexually I am recovered. 98%. More than enough to be happy and satisfied. dont want to go into too much detail.
Physically I am beautiful again. I lost the weight and went back to my normal rhythms. My "on invega" and "after invega" pictures are a sight to see.
It is a travesty that this is given to people after everything it makes them go through. Therapy works well, but psychiatrists are so full of shit they cannot see straight. To try to get them to admit that this medication may harm certain people is trying to get them to admit that they are culpable. They never will. They will lie out of their ass to try to make it seem like they know what they are talking about when they actually have no clue. They just peddle the merchandise.
I'm not saying there aren't people who these meds dont help. There are people whose minds are so busted that neutralizing it is the only option. I am NOT one of those people. I and many others fall through the cracks of a messed up diagnostic system and get sentenced to a fate worse than death. I commend everyone here for having the strength and knowledge of their own self worth to get out of that.
One or two far spaced psychotic episodes does not a schizophrenic make. Many other things could be below the surface. Hold on to your truth.
Good luck and Godspeed.
