One thing i am thankful for is that i dont have horrible thoughts about the past as much. Invega used to give me horrible memories, id get this sunken feeling in my stomach- id feel fragile, ashamed, and downright horrible for a minute or two. And these thoughts would just come on randomly. Vy month 7, the thoughts/memories would come but icould tell there was less invega bc i didnt feel so fragile and broken in reaction to those thoufhts. It always happened when a new half life was kicking in and then completely go away towards the end. My 10th month is coming up next week and while i may have maybe 1 bad- almost ptsd like thought- a day, i dont at all get so emotionally wounded that i cant recover my normal state of mind like i did while on the shot and the first 6 months withdrawing from it. Id say the most damaging issues i had with the shot was the 70 lb weight gain, my eyes looking like a zombie, my inability to present as normal functioning, but most importantly those horrible memories of the past that would flood it. That, my friends, is the drug at its best sadly... thank god rhe qorst is behind me. To anyone who knows what im talking about and is looking for hope, its there, just know its there even tho its impossible to feel it based on where youre at right now. It is only temporary, and literally like they say in AA, handle one day at a time!
