Yea, I found some. It's about 30 miles away from me and I'm poor and have no vehicle so not sure when but I'm gonna try it sometime. Just have to budget it in and find a way over there. That's gonna b another 20. The cbd is 40 + tax here.
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Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2
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Yea, I found some. It's about 30 miles away from me and I'm poor and have no vehicle so not sure when but I'm gonna try it sometime. Just have to budget it in and find a way over there. That's gonna b another 20. The cbd is 40 + tax here.
Hellohihey2
Bluelighter
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- Jun 9, 2018
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- 64
@steph78 u can buy it online u know, right?
invegauser
Bluelighter
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- Dec 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,400
@Hellohihey2: you probably want to PM or talk about that to Steph78 somewhere else as it might be considered sourcing.
i think your right, the sweating is another sign in the healing process. our bodies reaching their own balance again. basically every cell has been invaded by the poison and now that it no longer holds such a stiff control over us sweating is a natural reaction to purge itself plus our bodies just trying to work like they did before, like stretching before working out if you will. obviously some of it has to do with not being totally healed yet and our bodies working slightly harder than it's use to.
change in mucus is pretty common. i've had mostly white dried up mucus for a few years now. again part of the exhaustion we go through and our bodies working harder. my boogers are normal color now too.
the heart oddities and dark thoughts you mention are good signs. those who are closer to being healed usually don't have the dark mood take over them constantly like before but it's still disturbing as it pops ups. even though it's a negative it is still a good sign. your negative emotions trying to work as normal again. our good emotions are going through a wake up process while our bad ones are trying to calm back down again. getting pulled in two different directions. the heart adjustments is something quiet a few people go through towards the end like @undimished689 struggled with and i believe @Steph78 has had lately too, after her first window. try an aspirin to help regulate it back to normal but go easy, low blood pressure might rear it's head for a day or two.
unless i'm mistaken your 10 months and on the comedown from the poison? that means what your going through is just trying to have all your systems balance out and re-harmonize. i.e. work like they use to. the poison is a very potent drug (albeit a legal one) and before ten years ago no one had ever taken it because it never existed. not trying to scare you just give you some perspective. it means your not going to be able to see what happens next before it happens (except by reading posts of those who healed before us) but the good news is all you have to do is let it happen. make sure your within limits that are not dangerous like your heart is obviously going to be doing some weird stuff but as long as you don't have a heart attack you will be ok and just let yourself return to your natural homeostasis. don't fight yourself, it will be easier on you and quicker too.
@Steph78: those issues with dreaming are normal. our dreams are a combination of stress, imagination and what we eat for dinner among other things. they are adjusting to your healing process as well. they are what have gotten you through (one of the things) to this point in being so far healed. keep distracting yourself with things you like and they will feed the dreams and help them get back to what you normally dream about. this poison is a potent and toxic one, the soul/spirit or dreams are deeply affected by it as well. just like why none of us could really sleep before but just re-charge like a cell phone. our deep sub and regular consciousness were fighting from behind the shadowed veil of the toxin. we need to let those parts heal as they know how to do as well.
both of you: it's nice to see your both about the same progress in healing and going through this together. lil less scary that way. windows normalize into normal days and waves break down slowly until they are like a stone you toss to the side of the road and leave behind for good. they will become more and more subtle until poof, they're gone and your living your lives again like pre-invega. keep it up, you both have good minds with some good ideas started. follow through with them and i look forward to seeing your full recovery posts soon.
i think your right, the sweating is another sign in the healing process. our bodies reaching their own balance again. basically every cell has been invaded by the poison and now that it no longer holds such a stiff control over us sweating is a natural reaction to purge itself plus our bodies just trying to work like they did before, like stretching before working out if you will. obviously some of it has to do with not being totally healed yet and our bodies working slightly harder than it's use to.
change in mucus is pretty common. i've had mostly white dried up mucus for a few years now. again part of the exhaustion we go through and our bodies working harder. my boogers are normal color now too.
the heart oddities and dark thoughts you mention are good signs. those who are closer to being healed usually don't have the dark mood take over them constantly like before but it's still disturbing as it pops ups. even though it's a negative it is still a good sign. your negative emotions trying to work as normal again. our good emotions are going through a wake up process while our bad ones are trying to calm back down again. getting pulled in two different directions. the heart adjustments is something quiet a few people go through towards the end like @undimished689 struggled with and i believe @Steph78 has had lately too, after her first window. try an aspirin to help regulate it back to normal but go easy, low blood pressure might rear it's head for a day or two.
unless i'm mistaken your 10 months and on the comedown from the poison? that means what your going through is just trying to have all your systems balance out and re-harmonize. i.e. work like they use to. the poison is a very potent drug (albeit a legal one) and before ten years ago no one had ever taken it because it never existed. not trying to scare you just give you some perspective. it means your not going to be able to see what happens next before it happens (except by reading posts of those who healed before us) but the good news is all you have to do is let it happen. make sure your within limits that are not dangerous like your heart is obviously going to be doing some weird stuff but as long as you don't have a heart attack you will be ok and just let yourself return to your natural homeostasis. don't fight yourself, it will be easier on you and quicker too.
@Steph78: those issues with dreaming are normal. our dreams are a combination of stress, imagination and what we eat for dinner among other things. they are adjusting to your healing process as well. they are what have gotten you through (one of the things) to this point in being so far healed. keep distracting yourself with things you like and they will feed the dreams and help them get back to what you normally dream about. this poison is a potent and toxic one, the soul/spirit or dreams are deeply affected by it as well. just like why none of us could really sleep before but just re-charge like a cell phone. our deep sub and regular consciousness were fighting from behind the shadowed veil of the toxin. we need to let those parts heal as they know how to do as well.
both of you: it's nice to see your both about the same progress in healing and going through this together. lil less scary that way. windows normalize into normal days and waves break down slowly until they are like a stone you toss to the side of the road and leave behind for good. they will become more and more subtle until poof, they're gone and your living your lives again like pre-invega. keep it up, you both have good minds with some good ideas started. follow through with them and i look forward to seeing your full recovery posts soon.
No. I didn't know that. Makes sense now that I think about it. Lol any idea on how much to take? what to look for?
invegauser
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,400
@nybryx: thanks for the vid. that last post of mine was craptastic and not even sure it made sense. i got so much natural energy and brain activity today it's like i'm on crack (a good sign in healing as my tweaking behavior seems ready to finally break up and stop. from tweaking to manic to calm again. finally!). it helped me focus some of that energy.
OT: i can't believe they keep throwing that stat around in so many sources, "they went on average 416 days longer without an arrest then their counterparts". wow, just sickening. i'm all for people finding what works for them but "here, take this and you wont go to jail". what's next lobotomies? seems like a huge step back in psychiatry. lets not take the human factor out of this as we are all people. isn't that why psychiatrists are in the profession to begin with. to help people instead of compartmentalizing and demonizing them?!
aside from everything else in the vid (which is informative, enlightening and very true) i found that in my life after taking over 15 different psych meds to understand and "cure" my condition that i was fortunate enough not to have that one super horrible experience like some people i know and hear about going through from adverse reactions. but ever since taking invega i find more and more evidence that i'm living an actual, real life conspiracy theory (not thinking of it like that just finding it to play out that way) and that video is yet another piece in a long line of evidence.
OT: i can't believe they keep throwing that stat around in so many sources, "they went on average 416 days longer without an arrest then their counterparts". wow, just sickening. i'm all for people finding what works for them but "here, take this and you wont go to jail". what's next lobotomies? seems like a huge step back in psychiatry. lets not take the human factor out of this as we are all people. isn't that why psychiatrists are in the profession to begin with. to help people instead of compartmentalizing and demonizing them?!
aside from everything else in the vid (which is informative, enlightening and very true) i found that in my life after taking over 15 different psych meds to understand and "cure" my condition that i was fortunate enough not to have that one super horrible experience like some people i know and hear about going through from adverse reactions. but ever since taking invega i find more and more evidence that i'm living an actual, real life conspiracy theory (not thinking of it like that just finding it to play out that way) and that video is yet another piece in a long line of evidence.
Hmmm? Can you elaborate on the conspiracy theory? Here or privately.
HateInvega
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 23, 2018
- Messages
- 70
Day 98. Akathisia is the most obvious side effect besides the emotional numbing and anhedonia. Sexual side effects have completely subsided. I still get a euphoric stoned feeling after smoking weed but i feel like the effects of the marijuana are partly being blocked. Keep pushing guys keep making progress.
invegauser
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,400
i'm sorry guys. i really am, i need to vent and idk where else to go so this is ugly. don't read.
what are you f**king stupid?! i said don't read this!!!
i told these stupid mother f**kers this would happen. i told them exactly everything i knew was going to happen when they gave me this damn poison. i told them it wasn't going to be good at all. i tried to make excuses to understand what was done to me was with the best of intentions but i can no longer enable a sick society by pulling the covers over my head and making excuses.
i've had 8 years of my life taken by this symptom before invega and now another 12 to the symptom plus the invega by the time this is all over and i resume full consciousness. i go delirious sometimes lately from how slow this healing process is happening. i lose my shit often, i feel the psychotic breaks come and go. i sit on my couch and let my life go by the wayside for what?! sure i don't have most of the side effects and symptoms pestering me but those few that do are the worse; they are the soul killers, the life stealers, the mind wreckers and most corrosive to the body. emotions? if i get any during times like this they are fleeting at best. i would rather live my life all over again experiencing every bad thing that happened to me, none of the good that happened and even those few unfortunate things left to experience that would put my life at the worse of all time rather than endure much more of this sometimes.
i live with a condition that trying to talk about it is like trying to explain the human condition to aliens in summerian. the symptoms are so rare that some are completely unheard of. the condition doesn't even have a god d**n name or label so i get stuck with whatever they think is closest. it's like trying to get heart surgery done by a f**king plumber or bank teller. i put in my time, paid my dues and worked with the science and the system and in return i got the old boy routine but instead of being released with thousands of dollars and free to do what i want i enter back into the exact same system but much worse than i left it. people running around acting like everything is all good all the time or screaming for freedoms and recognition sounding like lil children and going about everything backasswards. all i see is them being dead inside, the zombies they turned us into and they can't tell they're rushing head long towards death and destruction. everyone willing to open their mouths to say whatever they want and living like their shit don't stink while their entire world is literally falling apart around them. and they don't know it or pretend not to so they can go to sleep easier at night.
i can't wait to be healed because then i can just go about my business while the rest of humanity pisses itself away to oblivion. i'll be lucky not to have permanent damage from the stress i'm going through alone. i'll be fortunate if what i'm going through kills me from the weight of it all. i know i'll fully heal and be stronger from it because my life is the very epitome of this but the really f**ked up thing is no one, not one damn person can tell me what it's all for. everyone else on the poison gets to be part of the learning curve but like always "guess what, your not one of us". as long as everyone else can feel good about themselves or do the happy thing then that's what counts. how much can one person take in this life? we're all about to find out even though no one will be paying attention or using that information for something constructive, productive or for reasons of posterity. aint gonna learn from this shit and even when i figure out why it wont matter, no one will pay attention because they wont be able to. just a bunch of fat mother f**kers laying around in hover chairs all day.
they put the wrong person on this s**t, this poison and they don't even recognize it. but that's ok cause i'm the one who's gotta live with it while everyone else stands around trying to pretend to figure out what's going on. it's no ones fault but my own even though the choices were out of my hands and i properly informed those involved of everything that they needed to know to make the right ones. i'll live with this, i'll keep trying and fighting against the impossible while laughing hysterically to myself and everyone else goes about like nothing is ever going to get bad enough for them to pay attention to the things they constantly miss out of sheer ignorance and stupidity that is self evident through lack of responsibility for just being alive or they'll run away from it by choice.
i would say a lot to god right now but god and i don't talk. i let god and it's children be the best i can which is no easy task considering they force their way into my life every single needless chance they get. i would say a lot to psychiatrists and i have but it doesn't matter. i would say a lot to anyone from any walk of life and they wouldn't get past their own sense of self righteousness. i would rather go back to saying nothing at all like i was pre-invega. but no, they can stick me with a needle but can't undo the damage they've done and why should they?! they were only trying to help, they are only learning and it's my life so what is it to them as long as it's not happening to them.
i just want my life back. apparently that's just too much to ask. so f**k humanity, most people aren't worth the price of the condom that could've prevented all of this in the first place. sure would've made a lot of things easier though.
then again. i'm just some ranting, mentally ill, know nothing, white boy who is off his meds and living in the worse country in the world and i couldn't possibly be saying anything that matters, has a ring of truth to it or should be bothered to be listened to.
i'm human, i'm not perfect and i have my limitations.
i just want my life back.
what are you f**king stupid?! i said don't read this!!!
i told these stupid mother f**kers this would happen. i told them exactly everything i knew was going to happen when they gave me this damn poison. i told them it wasn't going to be good at all. i tried to make excuses to understand what was done to me was with the best of intentions but i can no longer enable a sick society by pulling the covers over my head and making excuses.
i've had 8 years of my life taken by this symptom before invega and now another 12 to the symptom plus the invega by the time this is all over and i resume full consciousness. i go delirious sometimes lately from how slow this healing process is happening. i lose my shit often, i feel the psychotic breaks come and go. i sit on my couch and let my life go by the wayside for what?! sure i don't have most of the side effects and symptoms pestering me but those few that do are the worse; they are the soul killers, the life stealers, the mind wreckers and most corrosive to the body. emotions? if i get any during times like this they are fleeting at best. i would rather live my life all over again experiencing every bad thing that happened to me, none of the good that happened and even those few unfortunate things left to experience that would put my life at the worse of all time rather than endure much more of this sometimes.
i live with a condition that trying to talk about it is like trying to explain the human condition to aliens in summerian. the symptoms are so rare that some are completely unheard of. the condition doesn't even have a god d**n name or label so i get stuck with whatever they think is closest. it's like trying to get heart surgery done by a f**king plumber or bank teller. i put in my time, paid my dues and worked with the science and the system and in return i got the old boy routine but instead of being released with thousands of dollars and free to do what i want i enter back into the exact same system but much worse than i left it. people running around acting like everything is all good all the time or screaming for freedoms and recognition sounding like lil children and going about everything backasswards. all i see is them being dead inside, the zombies they turned us into and they can't tell they're rushing head long towards death and destruction. everyone willing to open their mouths to say whatever they want and living like their shit don't stink while their entire world is literally falling apart around them. and they don't know it or pretend not to so they can go to sleep easier at night.
i can't wait to be healed because then i can just go about my business while the rest of humanity pisses itself away to oblivion. i'll be lucky not to have permanent damage from the stress i'm going through alone. i'll be fortunate if what i'm going through kills me from the weight of it all. i know i'll fully heal and be stronger from it because my life is the very epitome of this but the really f**ked up thing is no one, not one damn person can tell me what it's all for. everyone else on the poison gets to be part of the learning curve but like always "guess what, your not one of us". as long as everyone else can feel good about themselves or do the happy thing then that's what counts. how much can one person take in this life? we're all about to find out even though no one will be paying attention or using that information for something constructive, productive or for reasons of posterity. aint gonna learn from this shit and even when i figure out why it wont matter, no one will pay attention because they wont be able to. just a bunch of fat mother f**kers laying around in hover chairs all day.
they put the wrong person on this s**t, this poison and they don't even recognize it. but that's ok cause i'm the one who's gotta live with it while everyone else stands around trying to pretend to figure out what's going on. it's no ones fault but my own even though the choices were out of my hands and i properly informed those involved of everything that they needed to know to make the right ones. i'll live with this, i'll keep trying and fighting against the impossible while laughing hysterically to myself and everyone else goes about like nothing is ever going to get bad enough for them to pay attention to the things they constantly miss out of sheer ignorance and stupidity that is self evident through lack of responsibility for just being alive or they'll run away from it by choice.
i would say a lot to god right now but god and i don't talk. i let god and it's children be the best i can which is no easy task considering they force their way into my life every single needless chance they get. i would say a lot to psychiatrists and i have but it doesn't matter. i would say a lot to anyone from any walk of life and they wouldn't get past their own sense of self righteousness. i would rather go back to saying nothing at all like i was pre-invega. but no, they can stick me with a needle but can't undo the damage they've done and why should they?! they were only trying to help, they are only learning and it's my life so what is it to them as long as it's not happening to them.
i just want my life back. apparently that's just too much to ask. so f**k humanity, most people aren't worth the price of the condom that could've prevented all of this in the first place. sure would've made a lot of things easier though.
then again. i'm just some ranting, mentally ill, know nothing, white boy who is off his meds and living in the worse country in the world and i couldn't possibly be saying anything that matters, has a ring of truth to it or should be bothered to be listened to.
i'm human, i'm not perfect and i have my limitations.
i just want my life back.
Last edited:
Specified
Ex-Bluelighter
Yes I'm still forced to inject zuclopenthixol. I'm on a CTO
invegauser
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,400
@Rosi71: 2 years pill, 10 months injections, 5 years healing. yes it does, i'm just having hard time with prolonged come down; very long term healers have things dragged out a bit. yes, i'm doing much better than one year ago and even better than before that. no i don't take curcuma, i don't take anything right now; couldn't handle it with this fragile state of mind. yes, i eat meat but also fruits, vegetables, salads and try to get some fish in where i can. seafood helps with somethings i've noticed. clam chowder really did the trick sometimes. water and tea with an occasional soda/pop is what i drink. can't wait to quit smoking cigarettes. are you taking curcuma?
@LifeAfterInvega: thanks, i'm doing better after venting and getting some sleep. sorry about the post but i really needed to vent, i'm one dark mother lover but no man is an island unto himself. i'm just glad most of this is over with but it's always darkest before the dawn which hopefully means in the near future i will be fully healed.
you guys really have it lucky even though looking 8 months to 2 years max seems like a life sentence. not comparing just saying long term healers have it rough in different, protracted ways and that i might be a lil jealouos but not hating on anyone or getting down on myself. women have it harder than men do i believe but not trying to draw lines here. we all suffer and had this done to us. we all will get through this and get back to living again.
trinza/trevicta (as it's known in europe)? oh no, and i don't really want to cause it boggles the mind. this was bad enough as it is. one injection every 3 months, imagine if they gave you a years worth (4 injections) how do you calculate the half life? what kind of side effects/withdrawal symptoms do you get from the extra prolonged release ingredients they use? nasty stuff that would keep you up at night. i really feel for those who get the once every 3 months and suffer from it.
@LifeAfterInvega: thanks, i'm doing better after venting and getting some sleep. sorry about the post but i really needed to vent, i'm one dark mother lover but no man is an island unto himself. i'm just glad most of this is over with but it's always darkest before the dawn which hopefully means in the near future i will be fully healed.
you guys really have it lucky even though looking 8 months to 2 years max seems like a life sentence. not comparing just saying long term healers have it rough in different, protracted ways and that i might be a lil jealouos but not hating on anyone or getting down on myself. women have it harder than men do i believe but not trying to draw lines here. we all suffer and had this done to us. we all will get through this and get back to living again.
trinza/trevicta (as it's known in europe)? oh no, and i don't really want to cause it boggles the mind. this was bad enough as it is. one injection every 3 months, imagine if they gave you a years worth (4 injections) how do you calculate the half life? what kind of side effects/withdrawal symptoms do you get from the extra prolonged release ingredients they use? nasty stuff that would keep you up at night. i really feel for those who get the once every 3 months and suffer from it.
Hellohihey2
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2018
- Messages
- 64
@invegauser when was ur last shot? For me it?s October 20ish of 2017.
invegauser
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,400
@Hellohihey2: last injection was june 6th of 2013. your looking good so far, about 10 months. my mind is in reset mode from stress yesterday so can't remember much of anything right now but your pretty close to healing. (just re-read your posts from yesterday) oh ya, your doing great, still suffering some but pretty close to being fully healed now. the stomach problems come back but there not as bad. it's like when your first on the poison and not hungry your stomach is shutting down but when you close to being healed your stomach goes into shock again it's because it's flushing out all the old cells and trying to work like normal again. rough patch this last part (for anyone) but get through this and you can leave this nightmare behind you.
@LifeAfterInvega: i was almost tempted to look up doses and do the math after you posted the half life of trinza. glad i didn't, might later just to see what kind of torture others go through. this is just cruel. i know some people get help from the poison and i also know some people have their symptoms alleviated temporarily and they say it helps but later on they really complain about it after a few years. a lot of people have had one shot of the regular stuff and take a year or two to heal. for those who get on the trinza and suffer, wow, just wow!
2.67 years. either they did something terrible in a past life like kill a lot of babies and nuns or they really screwed up in this one; if they did anything wrong at all. what would warrant not even being given the single dose but go straight to the trinza? it's like no one thinks these things through. start with the pill and if it doesn't work then stay away from invega. if the pill works then try the once a month for 6 months or until things start going wrong. if everything goes well after that then after a year try the once every 3 months. doesn't the psychiatry community still tell patients these kind of processes to try or do they just assume everyone is not going to take their meds. i personally support anyone who finds what works for them and i don't say anything to those who invega has helped, i leave them to what works; but invega/xeplion is the only one i tell other people to stay away from if they are even thinking of trying it or are suffering from early on.
whether it's going to work for you or not (if you haven't taken it) it is seriously like playing russian roulette.
@LifeAfterInvega: i was almost tempted to look up doses and do the math after you posted the half life of trinza. glad i didn't, might later just to see what kind of torture others go through. this is just cruel. i know some people get help from the poison and i also know some people have their symptoms alleviated temporarily and they say it helps but later on they really complain about it after a few years. a lot of people have had one shot of the regular stuff and take a year or two to heal. for those who get on the trinza and suffer, wow, just wow!
2.67 years. either they did something terrible in a past life like kill a lot of babies and nuns or they really screwed up in this one; if they did anything wrong at all. what would warrant not even being given the single dose but go straight to the trinza? it's like no one thinks these things through. start with the pill and if it doesn't work then stay away from invega. if the pill works then try the once a month for 6 months or until things start going wrong. if everything goes well after that then after a year try the once every 3 months. doesn't the psychiatry community still tell patients these kind of processes to try or do they just assume everyone is not going to take their meds. i personally support anyone who finds what works for them and i don't say anything to those who invega has helped, i leave them to what works; but invega/xeplion is the only one i tell other people to stay away from if they are even thinking of trying it or are suffering from early on.
whether it's going to work for you or not (if you haven't taken it) it is seriously like playing russian roulette.
invegauser
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,400
i know it's pretty hard on all of us and this thread is full of some negative things. it's acceptable because only we understand what it's like to have hope removed. that venting post plus some of the truth i posted in the next few is a lot to take and might or might not be acceptable.
remember i'm a negative exception and a rare one at that. you all will heal in a shorter amount of time then i will and it wont be as painful or slow. more like ripping off a band aid quickly for you all. i'm like someone who got kidnapped and held victim for a long time before being saved and reintroduced into society, it's hard on the psyche to adjust to and will take time to go from invega reality to normal reality again.
i never really vent in life, it's not the same for me as it is for most people. i deal with things much differently, i'm not bragging, i'm just different - i've lived through a lot of bad things, things that should've left me crippled in the mind, left me with ptsd, major issues or worse. idk why i am the way i am, i just am and accept it but even i learned how therapeutic or helpful it can be last night to vent so that's a good thing. plus i'm doing better today even though i'm not out of the woods yet.
and even though i got more of the healing process to go through it doesn't mean this is the end because i'm not going to stop.
i wanted to say i appreciate you all giving me some room to vent. i appreciate each one of you trying your best to get through what this poison has done to you. i understand how hard this is for each one of you and all of you together and it has picked me up when i have been at my lowest. i'm just now picking myself up again, i'll be standing later today and carrying on again even though i know i'm going to get knocked down again and probably a few more times. but i'm not going to stop, you can ask those in my life who came before invega. they gave me their worse and i outlasted them, i overcame what was done to me by them. i beat them and i'm going to beat invega. we all are. of this i have no doubt.
i wanted to say thank you
remember i'm a negative exception and a rare one at that. you all will heal in a shorter amount of time then i will and it wont be as painful or slow. more like ripping off a band aid quickly for you all. i'm like someone who got kidnapped and held victim for a long time before being saved and reintroduced into society, it's hard on the psyche to adjust to and will take time to go from invega reality to normal reality again.
i never really vent in life, it's not the same for me as it is for most people. i deal with things much differently, i'm not bragging, i'm just different - i've lived through a lot of bad things, things that should've left me crippled in the mind, left me with ptsd, major issues or worse. idk why i am the way i am, i just am and accept it but even i learned how therapeutic or helpful it can be last night to vent so that's a good thing. plus i'm doing better today even though i'm not out of the woods yet.
and even though i got more of the healing process to go through it doesn't mean this is the end because i'm not going to stop.
i wanted to say i appreciate you all giving me some room to vent. i appreciate each one of you trying your best to get through what this poison has done to you. i understand how hard this is for each one of you and all of you together and it has picked me up when i have been at my lowest. i'm just now picking myself up again, i'll be standing later today and carrying on again even though i know i'm going to get knocked down again and probably a few more times. but i'm not going to stop, you can ask those in my life who came before invega. they gave me their worse and i outlasted them, i overcame what was done to me by them. i beat them and i'm going to beat invega. we all are. of this i have no doubt.
i wanted to say thank you
Hellohihey2
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2018
- Messages
- 64
@invegauser I just want to let u know that you come off as very intelligent, stable, optimistic online. You seem to understand that the worst part of this drug is the ability to lose hope and how it?s like to literally function without it. In the early months both on and just immediately off the shot it?s like living in a wasteland where the only ?positive? feelings you get are when you?re eating and nourishing yourself... so what I?m trying to say is vent away, I understand. One quick question if u don?t mind me asking, about how old are u? I?m in my late 20s so it may factor into my recovery
At one point around 5-7 months I was finally feeling better so in my mind I was counting my half lives and looking forward to the time I?m at now... sadly it?s not as I imagined. As much as I know a lot of the invega has been eliminated from my body my brain is now just mostly addled with it still. You can tell it in my eyes. So while 10 months and 6 half lives is the gold standard according to Johnson as Johnson, I have probably 6 more months of full on elimination as I am now just becoming barely functioning and not-so-impaired by the drug.
I thought I was on my last half life but two weeks ago I got the invega munchies again which is still going on but to a lesser extent.. so annoying. Just when my skin was looking more healthy and tight and stuff and now it?s loose again, I wake up with difficulty like I did on the shot, etc. ALSO I have tinnitus horribly sometimes. I read one guy said he thought it meant his pineal gland was decalcifying and that ressonanates with me, butyea. Bottom line it?s just sad that I work out EXCESSIVELY every day, for 9-10 months, and it?s still in my system. Now that?s some damn nanotechnology man... if it wasn?t for cbd I?d be more hateful at this stage right now... u should look into it and give it atleast one shot!
So yea my sex drive came back around month 7 and it?s gone again, my ears are ringing as we speak, my eyes and pupils still show I have a medicated look about me... and I?m 9.5 months off of this drug. Fucking shitty... I WAS on it for 1 year but still... maybe I?ll try St. John?s wart, that?s the only thing I haven?t tried yet...
Ok I?m rambling I just wanted to update my progress, I?m atleast more social and stuff which is good but I still don?t like to be social with people outside my immediate family. Ugh actually I?m tired I?m cutting my ramblings off right now, sorry again I have adhd, goodnight everyone
At one point around 5-7 months I was finally feeling better so in my mind I was counting my half lives and looking forward to the time I?m at now... sadly it?s not as I imagined. As much as I know a lot of the invega has been eliminated from my body my brain is now just mostly addled with it still. You can tell it in my eyes. So while 10 months and 6 half lives is the gold standard according to Johnson as Johnson, I have probably 6 more months of full on elimination as I am now just becoming barely functioning and not-so-impaired by the drug.
I thought I was on my last half life but two weeks ago I got the invega munchies again which is still going on but to a lesser extent.. so annoying. Just when my skin was looking more healthy and tight and stuff and now it?s loose again, I wake up with difficulty like I did on the shot, etc. ALSO I have tinnitus horribly sometimes. I read one guy said he thought it meant his pineal gland was decalcifying and that ressonanates with me, butyea. Bottom line it?s just sad that I work out EXCESSIVELY every day, for 9-10 months, and it?s still in my system. Now that?s some damn nanotechnology man... if it wasn?t for cbd I?d be more hateful at this stage right now... u should look into it and give it atleast one shot!
So yea my sex drive came back around month 7 and it?s gone again, my ears are ringing as we speak, my eyes and pupils still show I have a medicated look about me... and I?m 9.5 months off of this drug. Fucking shitty... I WAS on it for 1 year but still... maybe I?ll try St. John?s wart, that?s the only thing I haven?t tried yet...
Ok I?m rambling I just wanted to update my progress, I?m atleast more social and stuff which is good but I still don?t like to be social with people outside my immediate family. Ugh actually I?m tired I?m cutting my ramblings off right now, sorry again I have adhd, goodnight everyone
Hello everyone
It would be most helpful to stay positive. I know a lot of you are going through genuinely tough times, and it can be hard to know when you're feeding the flame, so to speak. That said, a good attitude can go a long way, at least from what I've seen!
Also, please do report any suspect posts. A banned user is inundating us with alt usernames and such. Any such information, if there, would make us very grateful.
It would be most helpful to stay positive. I know a lot of you are going through genuinely tough times, and it can be hard to know when you're feeding the flame, so to speak. That said, a good attitude can go a long way, at least from what I've seen!
Also, please do report any suspect posts. A banned user is inundating us with alt usernames and such. Any such information, if there, would make us very grateful.
invegauser
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,400
to the room: please remember to take breaks from reading long posts. it's not your fault, we've all been there. it's a side effect of the poison. i remember when i use to take 15 minutes to read one post that was no longer than 3 sentences, i felt like a moron until others said the same thing. it gets better over time like articulating and being able to talk again.
@Hellohihey2: m/30's/usa. i think things like neuroplasticity, immune system, tolerance to drugs and age (among other things) has something to do with it for the majority of people but everyone is different. hence why we have some who take 3 or 4 injections and heal in less than the average healing time, while others have unusual factors that make them take longer in healing and everyone else is within the average range. no one is better or worse, we are all just different. you ever met people who get sick for two days while everyone else is sick for a week or two? how about those who can drink or smoke a lot but can still hold their liquor/drugs better than others? people who run miles everyday but someone who runs once a month can out run them in the short/long run? human beings are magnificent, curious and strange creatures in how diverse we are and why.
i got the ringing in my ear last week, it's not the first time even before invega but it is a common effect/symptom. they say it's a part of your ear and how it works dying off, that as we age it will never hear on that frequency again. i don't subscribe to that theory, i believe it is regenerating like every cell of our body does constantly over a lifetime. some people can hear it and some can't. i can still hear frequencies that people half my age can't and so can some people who are older than me. i can smell someones fart from the next room, haha. younger people generally have an easier time in life with things because they are more resilient, fresher and don't have as much damage from age and what they've lived through or wear and tear. they also don't fall into a comfortable lag of thinking they know everything unlike older people who still need to keep an open mind. youth is wasted on the youth is a saying that cuts both ways. there is also tinnitus that some people are afflicted with. personally i believe it is the invega shutting down part of the hearing on the comedown and when your close to healed it is starting back up again.
i say it a lot so let me elaborate here. what's in the invega injections invades and ramps up every cell in your body making it vibrate at a higher level. when we first take it and for a little while after we stop taking it we notice all these effects/symptoms happening before the bulk of the healing phase kicks in, the zombie mode. that is where we level off at (and so does our cells) and don't really get much worse or better for awhile but it's a nightmare all the same. when it has run it's course (on the comedown before we are fully healed) most of what we experience is the same thing we went through when we first took it but in reverse. our body and brain learning to vibrate at a lower frequency it is programmed to from our genetics or how we were pre-poison. it is trying to reach homeo stasis again.
it's like going out a restaurant through the same door you went it but the smoking section is near that door. what happens to us at first is happening again as we are getting close to fully healing, we have to walk through the smoke to go back outside. drugs are like this in general beginning and end. the difference is what we experience based on the different drugs we take. people get scared, anxiety and a lot of anger or depression while on the comedown. it is not only how we think and feel about what was done to us but also how our emotions and feelings normalize or re-balance themselves again. you never forget how to ride a bike and our emotions are the same, they know how they are supposed to work. out entire bodies and brains do thanks to dna and us shaping our experiences in reality. in this case hope has been removed so all the negative emotions and feelings have been keeping us going while the positive ones haven't been used so they need to finish waking up. we need to let the negative ones calm down and take a break while the positive ones wake up and start working again.
everything in healing needs time to adjust to how we are use to it again towards the end. short term healers have this happen pretty quickly, say a couple months before waking up and bam... fully healed. long term healers have been vibrating higher for longer and all the factors including stress come into play so they take longer to adjust. like getting into a cold pool, some people jump right in and some wade in, gradually get use to it little by little.
glad to hear of the improvements. we all ramble, me more than most. i got the tweaking behavior from the poison and i hear ya, it's no picnic. remember as you heal (you and Steph78 are finding out) your body is going through some drastic changes and the huge amount of stress takes a toll. so don't be surprised if you look like a zombie or worse before you look fresh and young again and the difference is night and day sometimes. it's just how our bodies deal with the healing. once fully healed your skin will tighten up and retain more tension. drinking water helps as your system is in overdrive trying to finish up the healing process and depletes it from other parts of your body. hence why some gain lots of weight towards the end only to have it slough off when they are fully healed. water weight happens a lot during the healing process. the food weight is there to help with the times we don't eat or go through big steps in healing.
thanks for the update. hang in there, you now know it gets better.
@Ho-Chi-Minh: good advice. and we will try our best to keep you informed.
@Hellohihey2: m/30's/usa. i think things like neuroplasticity, immune system, tolerance to drugs and age (among other things) has something to do with it for the majority of people but everyone is different. hence why we have some who take 3 or 4 injections and heal in less than the average healing time, while others have unusual factors that make them take longer in healing and everyone else is within the average range. no one is better or worse, we are all just different. you ever met people who get sick for two days while everyone else is sick for a week or two? how about those who can drink or smoke a lot but can still hold their liquor/drugs better than others? people who run miles everyday but someone who runs once a month can out run them in the short/long run? human beings are magnificent, curious and strange creatures in how diverse we are and why.
i got the ringing in my ear last week, it's not the first time even before invega but it is a common effect/symptom. they say it's a part of your ear and how it works dying off, that as we age it will never hear on that frequency again. i don't subscribe to that theory, i believe it is regenerating like every cell of our body does constantly over a lifetime. some people can hear it and some can't. i can still hear frequencies that people half my age can't and so can some people who are older than me. i can smell someones fart from the next room, haha. younger people generally have an easier time in life with things because they are more resilient, fresher and don't have as much damage from age and what they've lived through or wear and tear. they also don't fall into a comfortable lag of thinking they know everything unlike older people who still need to keep an open mind. youth is wasted on the youth is a saying that cuts both ways. there is also tinnitus that some people are afflicted with. personally i believe it is the invega shutting down part of the hearing on the comedown and when your close to healed it is starting back up again.
i say it a lot so let me elaborate here. what's in the invega injections invades and ramps up every cell in your body making it vibrate at a higher level. when we first take it and for a little while after we stop taking it we notice all these effects/symptoms happening before the bulk of the healing phase kicks in, the zombie mode. that is where we level off at (and so does our cells) and don't really get much worse or better for awhile but it's a nightmare all the same. when it has run it's course (on the comedown before we are fully healed) most of what we experience is the same thing we went through when we first took it but in reverse. our body and brain learning to vibrate at a lower frequency it is programmed to from our genetics or how we were pre-poison. it is trying to reach homeo stasis again.
it's like going out a restaurant through the same door you went it but the smoking section is near that door. what happens to us at first is happening again as we are getting close to fully healing, we have to walk through the smoke to go back outside. drugs are like this in general beginning and end. the difference is what we experience based on the different drugs we take. people get scared, anxiety and a lot of anger or depression while on the comedown. it is not only how we think and feel about what was done to us but also how our emotions and feelings normalize or re-balance themselves again. you never forget how to ride a bike and our emotions are the same, they know how they are supposed to work. out entire bodies and brains do thanks to dna and us shaping our experiences in reality. in this case hope has been removed so all the negative emotions and feelings have been keeping us going while the positive ones haven't been used so they need to finish waking up. we need to let the negative ones calm down and take a break while the positive ones wake up and start working again.
everything in healing needs time to adjust to how we are use to it again towards the end. short term healers have this happen pretty quickly, say a couple months before waking up and bam... fully healed. long term healers have been vibrating higher for longer and all the factors including stress come into play so they take longer to adjust. like getting into a cold pool, some people jump right in and some wade in, gradually get use to it little by little.
glad to hear of the improvements. we all ramble, me more than most. i got the tweaking behavior from the poison and i hear ya, it's no picnic. remember as you heal (you and Steph78 are finding out) your body is going through some drastic changes and the huge amount of stress takes a toll. so don't be surprised if you look like a zombie or worse before you look fresh and young again and the difference is night and day sometimes. it's just how our bodies deal with the healing. once fully healed your skin will tighten up and retain more tension. drinking water helps as your system is in overdrive trying to finish up the healing process and depletes it from other parts of your body. hence why some gain lots of weight towards the end only to have it slough off when they are fully healed. water weight happens a lot during the healing process. the food weight is there to help with the times we don't eat or go through big steps in healing.
thanks for the update. hang in there, you now know it gets better.
@Ho-Chi-Minh: good advice. and we will try our best to keep you informed.
Last edited:
invegauser
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,400
i just got back from taking care of something that is long over due and pushed myself way too hard. i asked family and friends for help for a week now, they didn't. i'm heaving like a dog in labor in the desert. i'm weak, i almost fainted but didn't until i got home just now. i yelled at them in a text and asked for help. we'll see what happens.
oh ya, i feel the pain surging through me and i finally feel it like i use too. if this makes me better like conditioning over the next few days then i'm taking it as a sign it's time to push back. if not then i have to be more diligent in asking for help, even if i have to pay neighbors or strangers.
i'm home, i'm safe and i'm going to bed now. whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger and i hope the rest of you have a nice day. i'll check back in with you all tomorrow and don't forget your all awesome.
heal quickly. peace.
oh ya, i feel the pain surging through me and i finally feel it like i use too. if this makes me better like conditioning over the next few days then i'm taking it as a sign it's time to push back. if not then i have to be more diligent in asking for help, even if i have to pay neighbors or strangers.
i'm home, i'm safe and i'm going to bed now. whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger and i hope the rest of you have a nice day. i'll check back in with you all tomorrow and don't forget your all awesome.
heal quickly. peace.
Specified
Ex-Bluelighter
Nope I'm fucked. Tribunal coming up and there extending it for another 12 months.
HateInvega
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 23, 2018
- Messages
- 70
A person has most likely not experience exclusively negative things because your mood never stagnates, it's unhuman. Part of being human means you have ups and downs, and if you only post about the "downs" and ignore anything positive (which by far is more useful and helpful) due to your childish, self-serving and demanding attitude towards life. Be patient, the medicine cannot stay in your system forever, if it did then it wouldn't have a half life.
- Status