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Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

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^ nah. just get through the trial and then get back on with living.

btw...

hey-fuck-you-too-buddy.jpg


:D
 
@Emersonny: he'll get around to talking about it if he want's to. i'm pretty sure there is a simple misunderstanding going on.

i was just about to post to you.

i've had a near death experience or actually died depending on how you look at it. the time lapse your talking about is not the same. when you die things are more intense and vivid... fresher. the opposite of what we go through when we suffer from the poison. it wont last forever and not being able to remember how time has slipped by is aggravating but to some they have looked at it as a way of having the burden of this trial softened for them. not remembering the bad experiences in life can sometimes be a blessing.

that block of words about your past self. you did some soul mirroring, i wouldn't know how to describe it other wise. it's like you accurately put into words what your soul has been through and really had people connect and understand on it. very well said! (you sure your suffering?! you are very articulated)

on a personal note: if you take out one or two lines and switch the words "invega" with "my condition" you got my life story in a nutshell. haha.

the thing i say about invega not being invented until the last ten years is an accurate way of assessing and communicating that no one has ever taken it before, it's a new experience to the human race. kinda like taking the first step on an alien world. on the other hand it's one thing to hear what it's like to go through it and another to actually do so, that is to show how critical and vital the receptors invega targets are.

sorry your post got deleted, i don't think it was about the adderall otherwise the mods would have informed you of the deletion. it's just something with the net today. this site has to keep up with many different devices trying to interface and they do a great job but sometimes a few things slip through the cracks. i've had PM's sent that were completely blank. it's always safe to copy anything before posting or sending and then verifying it made it. that way if it didn't you can resend or repost it. there's also a button at the bottom that says "Restore Auto-Saved Content". sometimes clicking that brings up something you were working on.

hope this helps
 
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@Offvega : I appreciate your presence here and we wouldn't be against having some updates but if it is better for you to leave soon the forum I can understand your choice.

To the room
Day 162

Feeling pretty good. After the crazy 72 hours of improvement I am back into this slow progress once again. I dealt with some social anxiety but it seems like it is getting better. Everyday is different and I hate the impredictable waves. But overall I am improving and that is the most important.
 
Yes, Specified i would say so. I'm doing a lot better in regards to the libido. When i was on the poison i wouldn't even come i mean nothing would come out, and i had severe erectile dysfunction, I was still able to have sex sometimes though. Now I'm 4 months off the sperm cameback (not like preinvega still) and i just masturbated two times this week, when i haven't since i've been on the shot. My genital area is starting to get sensitive again and that's how i got aroused. I didn't even touch it on purpose it just happen that i was holding it and i got an erection. I still feel like my erections are not the same as before and I'm not sure if that's normal or not but i also have the feeling that my dick is a bit smaller. Has anyone else got that feeling? Or is it just in my head?

Also I've been sleeping a lot better. I don't wake up when I'm sleeping anymore which is great, and I'm getting 9 solid hours of sleep.

On the downside, I'm still not motivated to read a book, pick up the guitar or workout.

I noticed that I also have been having some difficulties to be the engager of a conversation. I can mantain a conversation and ask questions but i find it difficult to come up with topics of conversation. I feel like I'm doing a lot better intelectually but I'm not the same as before. My doctor said that psychosis causes loss of capabilities on the intelect, has anyone noticed this to be true? Or is it due to to the medication and eventual comes back to normal?
 
@drugs off I also I'm 77 days of the shot, I to have trouble with coming with topics for conversations I also just ask questions but feel like I'm not capable of deeper conversations. And also I can masturbate but only get a little sperm. If ur like me u gained some weight and that will put fat around the base of the penis and it will seem smaller.
 
@jonnyhalo I actually didn't gain any weight wich lead to me to thought that somehow my recovery would be faster but that was a mistake
 
@Drugs off No it's not in your head. This happens to a lot of people. Me Included. Probably because of the hormone levels and blood flow and cells. But I'm sure it will get better. It takes time though.
 
@Drugs off Your doctor is lying to you. It's not because of the psychosis, it's because of the drug. It will come back to normal. It takes time
 
Does anyone else have this tick to scroll web pages up and down without looking at the content but being spaced out and starring into the nothing?
 
Has anyone experienced hair loss of any kind? It could be unrelated but my legs used to be hairy and now they have weak hair. Same with my hair on my arms. Most concerning is my hair on my head. I?m experiencing a little bit of a receding hair like and I?m like freaking out about my scalp if I?m getting thinner and less and less hairs. I?m like in my mid to late 20s I know that it?s normal to start for ?some? people at this age. But doesn?t hair loss depend mostly on the mother?s father? In that case my grandpa has a really nice head of white hair and he just turned 80. I honestly feel like Invega prompted my gene expression to turn to fucking shit. My countenance isn?t the same, my musculature isn?t the same, my skin isn?t the same, I don?t even heal the same, idk man I hope @invegauser sees this bc I?m having another one of those panic attacks where it?s like the end of the world for me. I?ve calmed down a little now that I just ordered minoxidil and biotin stuff and a dht blocker but my physical appearance means a lot to me and I just feel like this is another blow. Fuck my life. Hope everyone?s great. Lmao bye- but oh yea has anyone had issues with its hair loss or mostly thinning? I know this is an issue for some on ability maintenna but yea...
 
I had an argument with my doctor today which I'm happy to say got my blood boiling a little. Heard all that BS about how the side effects of invega sustenna are actually due to "negative symptoms." My doctor even said he'd change my diagnosis from delusional disorder to schizophrenia because my "negative symptoms" were so bad, and the med student sitting in on the appointment nodded in agreement. I think that part of why so many people have gotten the invega sustenna shot and the side effects go unrecognized is because they look awfully similar to negative symptoms of psychosis from the outside. Poor memory is a symptom of psychosis, but the memory loss caused by invega sustenna is an entirely different beast. The memory difficulties of psychosis are due to the way that one filters information. You forget stuff because you weren't paying attention to it in the first place, because you were so focused on the objects of your psychosis. Some scientists in the past have even thought that schizophrenia heightens memory. I think that the memory difficulties of psychosis are due to attention rather than an inherent defect in memory. The memory difficulties of invega sustenna are much less discriminating; they infect every area of memory to some extent. With psychosis, I can at least remember things that are important to me, but that's not the case on invega sustenna.

I'm happy that my doctor was at least engaging with me on these topics. One of the things that pisses me off about how mental health professionals treat psychosis patients is how they refuse to engage with you on matters concerning your own treatment, and they don't even attempt to argue with your delusions. I think that a lot of people just forget proper communication skills when they talk to someone with psychosis and they beat around the bush on everything. I think that psychosis patients are open to reason and argument just like everyone else, but they're treated as if they aren't and as if all argument is a lost cause. I get that it is difficult to argue someone out of their delusions, but that is just because the incentive to believing them is so high. All effective argument has to properly deal with the incentives and stakes of a belief. Then psychosis patients end up so confused because their autonomy is usurped from them without an explanation and then it's blamed on the illness. I really think that social integration and kindness are the best solutions to psychosis, but that there is just such a high barrier to obtaining those things once you reach a certain tipping point where your beliefs are too odd. People have such a difficult time connecting with people who disagree with them, and they have such a hard time disagreeing with the in-group. Anyway, I'm happy I have a rant and did some philosophizing. I might post more, but I'm kind of exhausted and might go for a walk. I really think that psychosis is an epicenter for a lot of ethical, political, and epistemological concerns.
 
^^ Well said!

Honestly, if I were to diagnose everyone who's memory is poor or poorer than mine, there would be two million schizophrenics living in my state.
 
@iridescentblack Right? Back in the day, I took an IQ test and my highest scores were for information retention and pattern recognition, both in the 99th percentile. I think since my delusions involve a lot of truth and facts, I still incorporated facts in my memory schema. I managed to remember the right things to score well on the test. My cognition was fine even though I was starting to become psychotic. However, my processing speed was low, and I think that's common for psychosis
 
^ "there's a fine line between genius and insanity."

"to error is human; to forgive, divine." (<--- even ones self)

:)
 
Hello everyone I can sense huge grief since yesterday. It feels like some aspects of me have gone forever. It's calmer inside me, there's no fight anymore, but not a good calm, it's like the calm when someone dies.. It's like the full me has given up and expects only part of my aspects returning. I am concerned that the quality of my senses, the range of my emotions, the spectrum of thoughts and words, the sharpness of my mind and memory, my libido, the quality of organs and texture and tissue will be decreased forever to some degree. Like I will never have my FULL potential again. It makes me really sad and normally I would cry now. But as you know, it's not possible.
 
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