Mental Health Coming off Invega (paliperidone) injections, v 5.0

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I wish i could smoke weed too...i used to love smoking pot,and listen massive attack or something like tool maybe...and im a musician also...when i was smoking weed while making music ,sound was literrly magical to my ears ,and all those exploration..man i really miss the old days...now when i smoke ,i get confused ,get weird uncomfortable feeling ...
I give myself about 6 months before I try weed again. Last time I smoked was December 2020, way before I got injected.
I don't wanna waste my money on weed that I probably wont feel, so I'm giving it time.
 
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How do you guys keep hope to continue moving forward with so many stories of people never recovering after years of being off
One of the things is that I've seen and experienced that a spiritual reality exists before, and that really helps me. The other is that I don't really have much of a choice besides killing myself or trying to make something happen. I'm also pretty pissed about everything and finally want to win for once and get mine too..I have very little fear of anything anymore besides the common sense type stuff, I chose to fight back hard with everything I fucken got, everything in my power if I can..sometimes it's hard and I don't get too much done,
 
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@Dre87 im sorry to hear that you lost your job. I really respect your optimism and drive and hope things will turn out well at your new one.

Because of my husband we were able to retain possession of our house near Tacoma WA through all this experience. We sold it in July to move back to the midwest where he's from. Real estate in WA is ridiculous so we were able to get a very nice home compared to what we had previously. I think that it's been very good for me to disconnect from my family through this process. One of the reasons I quit therapy in 2021 was because I was tired of the subject always going back to my mother. When my brother passed away in 2017 I was sort of forced to take the role of family catalyst to hold our formerly close unit together. This created a large amount of emotional weight- when I had my first break with reality in September 2018, I was expected to not only play catalyst but also scapegoat, taking and holding the blame for every negative aspect in the family dynamic. My mother encouraged my brother and sister to sever from me and at the same time shamed me for causing that severance through my mental break. Freeing myself from this shame and weight will , I hope, have a cathartic effect on me and hoepfully free me from some persecution complex style feelings i seem to have developed to cope with this dynamic. I feel hopeful for the future here in IL and still hold out that I'll never experience another psychotic break. I have one year left on the GI bill that I received in my 2015 divorce. I think I'll use it to study art - I completed my junior year for my business BA with decent grades but I really hated the program. Before my brother passed away my goal was to do art professionally after my divorce. I had taken a lot of classes, networked and did a few cons. I'm going to try to continue this in an urban area instead of the isolated rural area I previously lived in.
Yeah, but I wasn't working for 7 months before that and was also a bit weird, talking to myself out loud and stuff..but yeah it looks like the staffing agency I was working with found me another job really fast, it's this packing or packaging company that pays $15 an hour, less that I had before but should still be like a living wage. I start there at 6am tomorrow it looks like.
 
'I hated every minute of training, but I said don't quit, suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'
- Muhammad Ali
 
It's really difficult who you let know - I made a lot of new friends in the two years before my last psychosis , one of them I even started a homeschooling organization with where we team taught & she set me up with a job at the private school where she worked. I only told my closest friend about my mental past before my last break & she's the only one who forgave me and understood. Everyone else didn't want anything to do with me anymore & were just wondering why I cut myself off so suddenly from them when I was breaking. How the hell do you tell your "normal" mom friends that you whack out & believe shit like their kids are possessing your kids' bodies once every two years? I choose to hide it too.

They can change you from voluntary to involuntary whenever they please. I hate being in the hospital and even when I'm voluntary I'm a bitch to all the staff, so they treat me like shit. Is it REALLY the best for your h3alth to go to a place where all you're able to do is sit and chew crayons, everyone hates you, people are violent around you, you get no vitamin D or personal autonomy? Best to go into the woods. We need better holistic options. I preferred the ER I was at for 5 days this last time to the mental ward, where you have to pretend to be friends with people & stay occupied in order for people to think you're "well".

It's a travesty that people act like therapy is possible while taking medication that completely suppresses your ability to feel, think and speak. How in the hell are you supposed to reach any form of personal transformation when in that numbed state?
Hey Kaatrina, I thought you had 100% recovery. How are things going for you?
 
Hey Kaatrina, I thought you had 100% recovery. How are things going for you?
I do have 100% recovery from the effects of invega. I was injected with Invega in October 2018 and had my last dose in January 2019. I havent dealt with the negative effects of invega for at least two years now. But I have had to deal with psychosis two more times since I've been off of it. My happiness and abilities are back, but sometimes it's hard to deal with the social fallout from delusional episodes. I hope that others who recover from invega don't have recurrent psychosis. It sucks because when I first came off invega I hoped that I would go back to "normal: in the sense that I was entirely my old self before invega hit - or even before my first psychotic state hit me at 29 years old. I'm 34 now and although I'm happy to have gotten over what invega did to me within 2 - 2.5 years the harder and longer journey is solving the underlying mental issues that got me on invega in the first place - I think it's important for us to be thinking about that since many who have recovered like to not think about the possibility of relapse and some of us end up injected with invega again after that .
 
To be clear, I am happy, healthy and successful - I'm at home right now & spending time getting ready for our move and watching our 1.5 year old. My 9 and 11 year old get great grades & are good looking & well cared for. We are with my inlaws until we close on thr 4th. We got a great custom MCM home with 3k sq ft and a pool. Matt & I are going to do some counseling to deal with feelings & plans in case I break again. I end up being really resentful at him for committing me & getting my family involved in my past breaks. I talk about relapsing here just because there's no one I know who has dealt with it or understands where I'm coming from in the entirety of recovering, not just from invega but in living after it too
 
I don't wish to make anyone nervous about their recovery by sharing negative feelings or attitudes but I also want to share my story about how things have gone long-term post invega. I know that when I was recovering I wish that there had been more long term stories available instead of seeing so many people just dissappear, which always made me worry that relapse was inevitable. If you'd like to see more about how my life is going, my FB profile is here, though I don't update it much anymore.
 
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I don't wish to make anyone nervous about their recovery by sharing negative feelings or attitudes but I also want to share my story about how things have gone long-term post invega. I know that when I was recovering I wish that there had been more long term stories available instead of seeing so many people just dissappear, which always made me worry that relapse was inevitable. If you'd like to see more about how my life is going, my FB profile is here, though I don't update it much anymore. https://m.facebook.com/650505780/
I thought your real name is Katrina 😅.
I'm happy you're recovered 100%, it also gives me hope so thank you for sharing.
 
I've also did alot of learning about working out and fitness, self improvement stuff, self help, and 'pickup artist' stuff over the years before I got on the injections. Now I guess it looks like it's really time for me to test my skills..
 
I thought your real name is Katrina 😅.
I'm happy you're recovered 100%, it also gives me hope so thank you for sharing.
Haha I studied law & I never wanted anyone to be able to search me on this forum because mental health issues are really detrimental in that field.
 
Maybe you're right. I've spent very short amounts of time in city and county jails. Mainly just waiting to be bailed out.

How much time have you ever spent in jail or prison?
Never been in jail but invega shrinks the brain. When they give invega to mice the mice stop eating and starves to death, but maybe invega is better.
 
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Maybe you're right. I've spent very short amounts of time in city and county jails. Mainly just waiting to be bailed out.

How much time have you ever spent in jail or prison?
Dont know if u have ever read Harry Potter but getting invega is essentially the dementor kiss.
 
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It appears he is a mod here so he has to take a socially correct stance and shovel down his opinion that psych wards are not so bad. It’s thinking like his that will allow thousands more people to get injected with this specific poison. He hasn’t been devastated personally by psychiatry so he will use mental gymnastics and fallacies to defend them.
He have no idea so we cant blame him really. He has a funny nick here though.
 
I had a nightmare. I heard voices when I was sleeping. It was scary. I think I had a nightmare because of the lunar eclipse.
 
thats not fair ive seen plenty of his posts that show he knows what hes talking about hes got a lot of real life experiences and knows a lot but just cos he hasnt had invega doesnt mean that he doesnt know anything
Yes but invega is not real life
 
thats not fair ive seen plenty of his posts that show he knows what hes talking about hes got a lot of real life experiences and knows a lot but just cos he hasnt had invega doesnt mean that he doesnt know anything
I'd rather have a gun pulled on me or get hit with a 2x4 than be shot with invega to be perfectly honest with you
 
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