Combined Bupe/Citalopram Detox

[Captain.Heroin]

Just want to say that, although I initially made this thread with the intention of cold-turkey-ing subs n failed, thus comtinuing on a taper, I do not regret anything n here's why.

I want this thread to help others going through this. So many people try to go the 'cold turkey' route n they feel bad, feel like it sets them back im their recovery. I want people to realise that just because one option doesn't work for you doesn't mean you're a failure, just means that the optima you decided wasn't the one for you. There's a quote n it goes "different strokes for different folks." When I get through this I really want this thread to be a journey that's honest n sincere as how can it possibly help others if it is not? I remember saying to someone, "as a lot of people disagree with this decision I cannot mention any negatives points for fear of people saying they told me so." However, this reflects reality so the negatives n positives are mentioned here. Lastly, I chose to document this im thread-form rather than blog-form because only Bluelighters can view blogs - I want this to help
People n thus most people seeking help do some by using Google.

It's just a normal recovery thread, but in my opinion, all this is worth it if it helps other people going through the same stuff.

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Today too 0.8 as attempted to take the subutex throughout the day, but I felt feverish n lethargic, n as I had voluntary work to do, I took the other two tablets 0.8 mg). I also took a small dose of 3-FPM. I was not really advised to do this but feeling so fatigued I needed something that would give me energu to carry out responsibilities. Kratom came n seems to have done nothing. Inam able to do some cleaning n feel normal at mo so I am getting things dome while I can

Talked to my key worker n she has given me a script for an additional 0.4 for next week as I told her that I cannot go down to 1.2 mg from 1.6 mg, within a fortnight of dropping from 2 mg to 1.6 mg. i also have the psychological aspect of dealing with cing off subs. The other night I sobbed at the idea of no suns the same way I did when I was giving up codeine. So basically I'm realising that I wasn't just depend on subs the way ome is on antidepressants, but I am addicted to subs so as well as tapering I need to deal with that also.

Anyway that's enough for now.

Evey

You've come a long way hun, I'm really glad to hear you're taking low-ish doses of subutex. It's a really addictive drug. It's not like heroin or methamphetamine but it's still so addictive, at least it was for me.

I'm also really sorry to hear your family isn't talking to you. Just give it time and they'll either come around, or they won't. Just be the best person you can be Evey, and be there for your daughter.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Thanks. You seem to be the only one who has acknowledged that. I was initially on 8 mg then went to 12 mg been on it three years now finally on1.6 mg
It's nice to see you're a mod now x hope you're doing ok

Edit: also I've not forhot all the support I received here from the recovery forums when I first came to Bluelight. People like NSA, stardust.hero, spork, CT, caseface (where's he gone?), Captain.heroin etc (sorry if I missed anyone). You all helped me at a difficult time; got me to see things in myself. I had actually forgooten what Ingot from the recovery section so thank you to you all I never forget things like that xxxxx


Evey

 

[bonomoopiojo55]

Hey Evey, so are you down to 1.6mg daily? That's pretty cool if you are, I was wondering if you have cravings? I am down to 2mg trying to wean off, I am not craving as bad as I was, so I am just curious?? I am sorry about your family situation, I remembered last December you posted in TDC in The Vent thread, it was around Dec 31 about your family, I responded but guess you never saw it. Anyway, you sound like got a good outlook, keep up the good work, bono

 

[Eveleivibe]

Hey Evey, so are you down to 1.6mg daily? That's pretty cool if you are, I was wondering if you have cravings? I am down to 2mg trying to wean off, I am not craving as bad as I was, so I am just curious?? I am sorry about your family situation, I remembered last December you posted in TDC in The Vent thread, it was around Dec 31 about your family, I responded but guess you never saw it. Anyway, you sound like got a good outlook, keep up the good work, bono

Yes I saw your post n apoologize - I kept meaning to get bacj to you but never got round to it. I hope you're doing ok. Well dome on getting down to 2 mg. can I ask how long have you been on subs for n what was your highest dose? Reason I'm asking it apparemtly it's more difficult the longer you've been on them (I wouldn't know as this is my first n hopefully only time of being on them. If you've been on a while I suggest taking it slower n more gradually under 2 mg - I'm not trying to scare you or put you off, just saying as I want you to succeed

Evey

 

[bonomoopiojo55]

Well I started them last year, Jan 2015 got good 6 months always at 4mg, then in may my mom had stroke right in front of me, since then it has been a struggle, I can't seem to get a day clean of oxys, so around Oct I started cleaning up my act when bam I had get new insurance that doesn't cover subs, right now I seem to be ok at 2mg, have a doc appt tommorrow, I have 58 subs left, I am also scripted neurontin but I don't like them but figured I'd save them for withdrawl at some point, you know, before I signed up here, I read a lot and reading about your struggles prompted me to join, thanks, for sharing, seriously, you have made me want to ask for help and for that I am grateful. i started at 8mg that lasted about a week, that was one time and highest i was ever at. J

 

[Eveleivibe]

Well I started them last year, Jan 2015 got good 6 months always at 4mg, then in may my mom had stroke right in front of me, since then it has been a struggle, I can't seem to get a day clean of oxys, so around Oct I started cleaning up my act when bam I had get new insurance that doesn't cover subs, right now I seem to be ok at 2mg, have a doc appt tommorrow, I have 58 subs left, I am also scripted neurontin but I don't like them but figured I'd save them for withdrawl at some point, you know, before I signed up here, I read a lot and reading about your struggles prompted me to join, thanks, for sharing, seriously, you have made me want to ask for help and for that I am grateful. i started at 8mg that lasted about a week, that was one time and highest i was ever at. J

It's good that you haven'r been on more than a year as should be easier to come off. Sorry to hear that your imsurance will no longer cover subs but naybe it's a blessing in disguise. Have you tools in place for not using? Do you feel that you're able to keep from using compared to how you were before going subs? Have you dome any counselling or anything to work on the underlying issues of your addictioms n think of ways to prevent yourself from going back down that road? You habe the support of BL for one. Do you do 12 step approaches? Smart recovery? Have comtacts for times yrbtempted to use?

Evey

 

[bonomoopiojo55]

Wow quite the question list, I appreciate it though. I was in therapy but opted out for financial reasons, but it did a world of good for me. I just need to stay vigilant about triggers. I take care of my mom now and we are on limited income due to selfish sibling stuff, but that is another story, initself. I learnt alot but most important to me is every time an addict puts a pill in their mouth, they want to feel something, I have come far in the past year, but have far to go. I had a sponsor, use to go to meetings, but just felt people were high and mighty, very uncomfortable for me. I carry my one day at time coins on me, I cherish them. Thanks.