EveryStar
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 23, 2007
- Messages
- 922
To everyone who says I've made up my mind/already shot the shit: no, I haven't. I'm going to wait a good, long while, maybe even a few days until I really decide whether or not to do it. I want to have as much input as possible before making my decision. If / when I do shoot it, I'll update on here.
And I know it probably seems stupid to make such a big deal out of something like this, but really it seems like a really big decision to me, as it could certainly be the worst decision I could take.
Cliffnotes at the bottom.
All right, well, after 2 long months of abstinence (due to the fact I lost my connect), today, out of nowhere, I managed to score some yay again.
During the time I was going without it, I thought a lot about shooting it the next time I'd get it, so I went out and scored some needles.
Now, I just prepared a shot, the solution is in the rig, and I just have to make the final choice... I've heard a lot of horror stories about how after you IV, you'll never go back to snorting, etc etc, which was kind of why I've been wary about shooting it. I keep hearing it's the worst and more addicting thing ever, how you never forget the rush once you experience it, how it's far worse than crack, among other stuff. I've also heard (all this from browsing BL), on the contrary, that it's really not as bad as people make it out to be, how it's perfectly controllable and such, and how it's better than sex or anything else in the world, how it provides the greatest euphoria you could ever experience (which is why I thought about shooting it in the first place...I'll try anything twice).
I loved snorting it, and did it daily (so that probably says something about me), and even though it's given me some great times (and some bad times), it seems to be, for me, the most addictive thing. Once you go a week or two without it, it doesn't seem so bad anymore, but, even after doing opiates daily (while on my somewhat forced break from blow), which a lot of people find to be the most addictive thing, I have no problem going a while without opiates, like, I don't have intense psychological cravings for them, even though I find them quite nice, and overall better than coke in some areas (no real comedown, no real fiending, lasts longer, is more relaxed, etc (except if you start getting withdrawal symptoms, which I've never seemed to get (except diarrhea)), I never got badly psychologically addicted to them, like I did to coke (I just loved the smell, the taste, the numbness, the ritual of cutting a line (that's probably like half the high for me), unexplicably, even though the high isn't really that great overall (for example I like MDMA much more, it's my favorite drug, yet isn't addictive at all)).
Yet, I really, really want to experience the intense rush and euphoria I've heard people talk about, but at the same time, since I did get addicted to just snorting it, I'm scared if I get into IVing it, it could be the worse decision I've ever done, and I'd end up stabbing the shit out of my arms every day and night (although I don't really like IVing, like just the whole process of sticking a needle in my arm and all, even though I don't find it a real hassle, I've missed shots before, and sometimes I'd get real scared about getting an abscess, or getting a collapsed vein and such, so the risk of IVing could probably keep me away from doing it too often (especially since none of the people I frequent approve of IVing at all, I wouldn't want to be walking around with trackmarks everywhere all the time)).
So basically...should I take the risk, and maybe IV a very small dose of coke (like a bump), to see what the hype is all about (since I've read here on BL that if you only IV once in a "session" you can go relatively easily the rest of the night without craving it badly...but if you IV it another time after that during the night, you'll end up for sure finishing all your stash within a couple of hours, and you'll be hopelessly poking your arms every 2 minutes), or should I really, really stay away from it (you're better off not knowing what you're missing it on), as it could be the biggest mistake I'll ever make?
Could I possible ever go back to snorting after IVing even just once, or is that completely out of the question?
I mean I keep hearing most people who start IVing coke, after a few times they really just do it solely for the rush and nothing else, the high doesn't matter at all anymore and such (even though I enjoy the high just from snorting it quite a lot), the rush gets to be the only thing on your mind all the time. It seems from what I've heard the rush is the scariest, but most euphoric thing you could ever experience (I've heard it described as falling off a cliff).
So...the needle is sitting in front of me, the shot is prepped, all I need to do now is push the plunger...
It seems like one of the biggest decisions I could ever make, so I really want to think about it...
By the way, just for your information, the blow is pretty pure, doing a couple of medium lines gets me going real good for around 45 minutes, it's real mellow and talkative like good coke is (I've gotten pretty damn good at knowing instantly whether or not the coke is bad, I've gotten some of the worst shit ever, as well as some of the best shit ever), without any paranoia or anxiety whatsoever.
Oh, and the amount I loaded is really quite small, just about like a big bump (a line a couple of inches long), I don't want to risk anything at all, healthwise, so I loaded what seems like a pretty small amount (since apparently, when IVing, you should use about half the amount of a regular line you do ; so I used even less than that, just to be completely safe). And most of it completely dissolved in water, so I know it's pretty pure (and I confirmed that by doing a line...great stuff).
And as you probably noticed, I'm very, very coked up right now. Ahhh, seriously, that first line in two months feels like heaven, especially since I've been thinking about it all the fucking time lately.
Sorry for all the rambling. Seriously. In about an hour, when I'll be re-reading this, I'll feel like a complete retard.
Cliffnotes: got shot all prepped up ; small amount ; great shit ; I loved snorting it, I'd do it all the time ; apparently IV cocaine is one of the worst decisions you could ever make, and easily among the most addicting (if not the most) things ever (seems like a bunch of people say you'll be stabbing your arms all day and night, just stay locked up all the time, be poking your arms every 2 minutes, etc) ; most intense rush you could ever experience ; apparently you'll never go back to snorting after IVing even once.
Biggest decision I could ever make, could possibly ruin my life. The shot is all prepped up, all I have to do is stick the needle in my arm. Yes or no?
And I know it probably seems stupid to make such a big deal out of something like this, but really it seems like a really big decision to me, as it could certainly be the worst decision I could take.
Cliffnotes at the bottom.
All right, well, after 2 long months of abstinence (due to the fact I lost my connect), today, out of nowhere, I managed to score some yay again.
During the time I was going without it, I thought a lot about shooting it the next time I'd get it, so I went out and scored some needles.
Now, I just prepared a shot, the solution is in the rig, and I just have to make the final choice... I've heard a lot of horror stories about how after you IV, you'll never go back to snorting, etc etc, which was kind of why I've been wary about shooting it. I keep hearing it's the worst and more addicting thing ever, how you never forget the rush once you experience it, how it's far worse than crack, among other stuff. I've also heard (all this from browsing BL), on the contrary, that it's really not as bad as people make it out to be, how it's perfectly controllable and such, and how it's better than sex or anything else in the world, how it provides the greatest euphoria you could ever experience (which is why I thought about shooting it in the first place...I'll try anything twice).
I loved snorting it, and did it daily (so that probably says something about me), and even though it's given me some great times (and some bad times), it seems to be, for me, the most addictive thing. Once you go a week or two without it, it doesn't seem so bad anymore, but, even after doing opiates daily (while on my somewhat forced break from blow), which a lot of people find to be the most addictive thing, I have no problem going a while without opiates, like, I don't have intense psychological cravings for them, even though I find them quite nice, and overall better than coke in some areas (no real comedown, no real fiending, lasts longer, is more relaxed, etc (except if you start getting withdrawal symptoms, which I've never seemed to get (except diarrhea)), I never got badly psychologically addicted to them, like I did to coke (I just loved the smell, the taste, the numbness, the ritual of cutting a line (that's probably like half the high for me), unexplicably, even though the high isn't really that great overall (for example I like MDMA much more, it's my favorite drug, yet isn't addictive at all)).
Yet, I really, really want to experience the intense rush and euphoria I've heard people talk about, but at the same time, since I did get addicted to just snorting it, I'm scared if I get into IVing it, it could be the worse decision I've ever done, and I'd end up stabbing the shit out of my arms every day and night (although I don't really like IVing, like just the whole process of sticking a needle in my arm and all, even though I don't find it a real hassle, I've missed shots before, and sometimes I'd get real scared about getting an abscess, or getting a collapsed vein and such, so the risk of IVing could probably keep me away from doing it too often (especially since none of the people I frequent approve of IVing at all, I wouldn't want to be walking around with trackmarks everywhere all the time)).
So basically...should I take the risk, and maybe IV a very small dose of coke (like a bump), to see what the hype is all about (since I've read here on BL that if you only IV once in a "session" you can go relatively easily the rest of the night without craving it badly...but if you IV it another time after that during the night, you'll end up for sure finishing all your stash within a couple of hours, and you'll be hopelessly poking your arms every 2 minutes), or should I really, really stay away from it (you're better off not knowing what you're missing it on), as it could be the biggest mistake I'll ever make?
Could I possible ever go back to snorting after IVing even just once, or is that completely out of the question?
I mean I keep hearing most people who start IVing coke, after a few times they really just do it solely for the rush and nothing else, the high doesn't matter at all anymore and such (even though I enjoy the high just from snorting it quite a lot), the rush gets to be the only thing on your mind all the time. It seems from what I've heard the rush is the scariest, but most euphoric thing you could ever experience (I've heard it described as falling off a cliff).
So...the needle is sitting in front of me, the shot is prepped, all I need to do now is push the plunger...
It seems like one of the biggest decisions I could ever make, so I really want to think about it...
By the way, just for your information, the blow is pretty pure, doing a couple of medium lines gets me going real good for around 45 minutes, it's real mellow and talkative like good coke is (I've gotten pretty damn good at knowing instantly whether or not the coke is bad, I've gotten some of the worst shit ever, as well as some of the best shit ever), without any paranoia or anxiety whatsoever.
Oh, and the amount I loaded is really quite small, just about like a big bump (a line a couple of inches long), I don't want to risk anything at all, healthwise, so I loaded what seems like a pretty small amount (since apparently, when IVing, you should use about half the amount of a regular line you do ; so I used even less than that, just to be completely safe). And most of it completely dissolved in water, so I know it's pretty pure (and I confirmed that by doing a line...great stuff).
And as you probably noticed, I'm very, very coked up right now. Ahhh, seriously, that first line in two months feels like heaven, especially since I've been thinking about it all the fucking time lately.
Sorry for all the rambling. Seriously. In about an hour, when I'll be re-reading this, I'll feel like a complete retard.
Cliffnotes: got shot all prepped up ; small amount ; great shit ; I loved snorting it, I'd do it all the time ; apparently IV cocaine is one of the worst decisions you could ever make, and easily among the most addicting (if not the most) things ever (seems like a bunch of people say you'll be stabbing your arms all day and night, just stay locked up all the time, be poking your arms every 2 minutes, etc) ; most intense rush you could ever experience ; apparently you'll never go back to snorting after IVing even once.
Biggest decision I could ever make, could possibly ruin my life. The shot is all prepped up, all I have to do is stick the needle in my arm. Yes or no?
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