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coffee [deconstructed]

vurtomatic

vurtomatic

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 14, 2001
Messages
2,927
Location
New York
i sat by the bar
on a wobbly stool
threatening to topple over
                             anytime
                                        now.
[voices [music [surrounded by cacophony] utensils] metal clinking]
static()
{
st... atic a..lm..st but n... ot quite
t  h       e         r                 e
}
a badly tuned radio station
chest hammeringtoofastwhhy?idontknowitalwaysseemtothesedays
frantic heart
at odds
at one
with the static()
bestill!
         k
music s i s
            p
to a
[sh][sh][der][der][ing]
HALT
but not the static()
continue[GO]
          h
           a   t     e
signal       t   e     d
        s          r
i blew on my too-hot latte
[[frantic heart trying to escape]this living cage]
i sip my coffee
wincing
bitter life
my heart continues its charade
but i gotta say
this coffee sucks!
[edit: thanx to jakoz for helping me with the white spaces :) :) ]
[ 30 August 2002: Message edited by: vurtomatic ]
 
Brilliant! It's not everyday that you see wordplay not only in the linguistic sense but visually as well. Truly the mark of a great word-smith!
 
That's the most interesting and orginal thing I've read here! Hugely entertaining to read! :D
 
i like i like i like!!!!!
i love playing with stuff like this, and youve done a great job of it.
in life sometimes its not so much what you say, but more how you say it, and that really suffers on the internet, so its cool to see someone exploring how to say things and not just what they can say.
nice work vurt :)
 
It's so nice when a good dose of true talent injects itself into this forum.
This piece was excellent.
 
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