gingervitus
Bluelighter
I've never done cocaine, only time I ever tried to get it my girlfriend read the text my friend sent and then I was single.
Feel free to skip the next two paragraphs, they're just speed written background info..
But, recently (April-June and September to today) I've been given 60mg doses of Vyvanse (lisdextroamfetamine -> metabolizes into d-amp in stomach so no way to break time release like with Adderal) quiet regularly. It used to be every Monday, it became five days a week for a couple of months straight, and now it's about two or three times a week. And I love the shit out of it. It made me passionate about things I would never care about sober, it made me euphorically focused -- I found the most euphoric feels originally came when I would focus on a single assignment, book, school or personal home project (Vyvanse made me start a garden, get back into reading/writing, etc.) --, vyvanse made me confident when I was previously one of the most awkward people to talk to (I couldn't even have small talk, it just didn't work and I was too withheld to have any good conversations or discuss during class but now I can speak my opinion without irrational anxious delusions about people not like me, and it just made me come alive, become the extroverted person that I never could be with my old withdrawn introversion. I feel like it has made me assume these traits when I'm sober and even when I'm a week clean I'm in the happiest time of my life and completely real with myself and in love with nature. The thing I like best about it is the way it helps introspective thoughts and writing, which is what I am interested in experimenting with.
Today, I took my first recreational dose of Concerta (slow-releasing Ritalin/Methylphenidate, too tough to crush through simple methods). My first touch with Concerta was a single 36mg pill and it just knocked me out on my feet. Today, I tripled that dose (108mg) that got incredible focus which turned into restlessness (feeling like everything I did wasn't important enough, which happened every now and then with Vyvanse) but it lacked the slight euphoria that comes with Vyvanse which made the restlessness slightly worse -- the tiny euphoria of Vyvanse turned my focus into passion and interest --, worsened side effects (bruxism, fucked up speech, tangential thoughts, etc. all of which I experienced early on with Vyvanse but perhaps my tolerance -- physical or physiological -- has lessened these effects or made me not notice them), and very analytical as opposed to the emotional/abstract thoughts that Vyvanse helps me with which in turn has led me to begin enjoying literature and writing poetry for the first time in years. I'm not a huge fan of this aspect, lis-damp makes me think in French fluently and makes me think poetically, where as Concerta has made me extremely un-introverted, it's tough to think about deep emotional matters (inspiration for that South Park episode?).
My research (mostly done while speeding
) has led me to understand that Methylphenidate is almost identical (but less potent) in pharmo-mechanics to cocaine, both of which are similar to amphetamine as far as the neurotransmitters/neurological systems they involve, thus d-amp and Methylphenidate both being used for treating ADHD. I'm very curious about cocaines use for writing and introspection, but after today's experience I'm also worried that it'll be too extroverting for what I want. Does anyone have any experience/opinions about cocaine's use for this sort of thing or it's relation to amphetamine?
Also, any other drugs that are useful for introspection? Weed has always been too heady to even read a full sentence in a book, yet alone have philosophical thoughts or write so I imagine that strong doses of psychedelics would be the same if not worse (I've only had mild doses, probably around 1/16 of shrooms twice.
My apologies for being so tangential, it was not meant to be this off topic but I thought I'd include it still rather delete it and have wasted the time.

But, recently (April-June and September to today) I've been given 60mg doses of Vyvanse (lisdextroamfetamine -> metabolizes into d-amp in stomach so no way to break time release like with Adderal) quiet regularly. It used to be every Monday, it became five days a week for a couple of months straight, and now it's about two or three times a week. And I love the shit out of it. It made me passionate about things I would never care about sober, it made me euphorically focused -- I found the most euphoric feels originally came when I would focus on a single assignment, book, school or personal home project (Vyvanse made me start a garden, get back into reading/writing, etc.) --, vyvanse made me confident when I was previously one of the most awkward people to talk to (I couldn't even have small talk, it just didn't work and I was too withheld to have any good conversations or discuss during class but now I can speak my opinion without irrational anxious delusions about people not like me, and it just made me come alive, become the extroverted person that I never could be with my old withdrawn introversion. I feel like it has made me assume these traits when I'm sober and even when I'm a week clean I'm in the happiest time of my life and completely real with myself and in love with nature. The thing I like best about it is the way it helps introspective thoughts and writing, which is what I am interested in experimenting with.
Today, I took my first recreational dose of Concerta (slow-releasing Ritalin/Methylphenidate, too tough to crush through simple methods). My first touch with Concerta was a single 36mg pill and it just knocked me out on my feet. Today, I tripled that dose (108mg) that got incredible focus which turned into restlessness (feeling like everything I did wasn't important enough, which happened every now and then with Vyvanse) but it lacked the slight euphoria that comes with Vyvanse which made the restlessness slightly worse -- the tiny euphoria of Vyvanse turned my focus into passion and interest --, worsened side effects (bruxism, fucked up speech, tangential thoughts, etc. all of which I experienced early on with Vyvanse but perhaps my tolerance -- physical or physiological -- has lessened these effects or made me not notice them), and very analytical as opposed to the emotional/abstract thoughts that Vyvanse helps me with which in turn has led me to begin enjoying literature and writing poetry for the first time in years. I'm not a huge fan of this aspect, lis-damp makes me think in French fluently and makes me think poetically, where as Concerta has made me extremely un-introverted, it's tough to think about deep emotional matters (inspiration for that South Park episode?).
My research (mostly done while speeding

Also, any other drugs that are useful for introspection? Weed has always been too heady to even read a full sentence in a book, yet alone have philosophical thoughts or write so I imagine that strong doses of psychedelics would be the same if not worse (I've only had mild doses, probably around 1/16 of shrooms twice.
My apologies for being so tangential, it was not meant to be this off topic but I thought I'd include it still rather delete it and have wasted the time.