Cocaine Cocaine problem..

[Needhelpfast1]

Hey I've read this forum extensively for a few months and now I feel ready to look for a bit of help or direction with my problem or maybe just someone that can relate to any of my points.. Or maybe some hard truths spoken from somebody other than my inner dialogue..

Since beginning of November I've been a daily user of cocaine (insufflated only) I'm 30 years old female in OK health not over or underweight and prior to this Ive been a recreational user since I was 18, using once or twice a month tops on nights out, slowly went to weekly in last 6 months and now as I said daily for the past 3 months, heard all the stories + never thought it would happen to me. But here I am.

I'd just like to say the idea of smoking or iv hasn't even entered my thoughts and I don't see it ever happening.

So I have no family near me not close to mum or dad, only child, geographically they aren't nearby, I'm in a relationship and living with a very narcissistic Sociopath, sounds stupid already, doesn't it. 'Just get out'.. I wish it was that easy. Last 4 years spent with him I've never found the strength to do so I have code pendency issues I'm gettin help for and he makes it more torture not Bein with him than it is.. Anyway I digress..

I have pretty much unlimited access to this drug, it's right under my nose all the time, I won't go into detail too much but I'm sure you can work out why.
It started out, just a lil boost to get me through the days, and do u know what as I type that now.. I think I'm lying to myself, I think it was out of boredom and the fact that I know the value of it yet its free to me was exciting, and It just passed the time, I know I need a hobby. I kept sayin yeah I'll stop end of the week, that old chestnut.. Now here I am.. I feel so stuck in a rut and nobody knows!
I have a 2 year old and use daily while he's at nursery between 9 and 4pm ish. This is why Im too scared to see a doctor. After a couple of weeks of daily use , I'd be gettin into bed and my nose started hurting badddd. That's when I found this forum looking for nose care so I started doing saline rinses and at the end of each night I'd take a couple paracetamol, rinse with himalayan saltwater and some bicarb and then mineral oil which has kept my nose OK ish and I see no septum damage (yet) or blood just soreness still when I'm finished for the day for a couple hours. I also eat well before and after, and take fish oils, magnesium turmeric n other supplements to reduce harm although I know full well that's impossible with this chronic use and I'm playing with fire now.

The reason I know this is the past few weeks I've started having quite bad anxiety while on it, had a couple panic attacks too, have felt a tingly numbness in my lower leg and sometimes near my elbow, dizziness and I know these sensations are mostly my anxiety because I feel one tiny sensation and think straight away I'm havin a stroke or heart attack and it makes everything 20x more intense. anyway I had a bit of a mental breakdown one morning last week, so went to see an osteomyolegist, I didn't tell him about the drug use but told him about my anxiety and my leg tingling. He clicked me back into place and gave me acupuncture and told me about how we have the central and parasympathetic nervous system, and how the 'casing' of one of mine I think he said central has worn away due to a mineral deficiency and the stress and anxiety and that I'm just running in a fight or flight mode, gave me little micro needle in my ear to squeeze now and then which helps the nervous system apparently and some magnesium and b vitamins to take. But I just feel stupid, I know the truth.

Sorry about the rambling I'm all over the place

So I don't know what I'm looking for in the way of responses, but basically it's at a point now where it doesn't even feel good when I take it, it helps me keep my house clean that's the only benefit, and gives me a lil energy boost, then come afternoon I feel anxious sick and weak and scared. Yet I can't stop doing it!? When I do have the odd day off, I feel fine, tired and grumpy at first but then happy and connected to those around me but then there it is again and I take it because WHY! and ruin my own day.. Surely I'm not getting dopamine from it now, I don't feel euphoric on it at all! I feel like it's more a habit now, the habit of sniffing something I seem to enjoy maybe?? And I know it's destroying me inside.. I need to stop I'm ready to stop but I can't tell Anybody close to me about this, and I've made steps to stop having it in my reach but it's still around so hence why I'm here, I know everyone says to remove the triggers but Im being honest and saying if that was possible I'd be fine, I can't afford a daily drug habit so i wouldn't if it wasn't near, I need to find the inner strength. I'd like to be able to see it and not want to, I have done a couple of times.. I know I can I have to! I gave up smoking cold turkey before, that was a habit, after I ate something had a fag, get in the car had a fag etc etc..

Also I've noticed I find it harder to reach orgasm now! Even when I've come down and not on it, It just takes forever if at all to get there!

Sorry for the long post, feels good to get all this out of my head,

Sorry if I've put anything I wasn't supposed to happy to edit if I need to

Xxx

 

[Meth novice 79]

Wait. Coke kills orgasms long term? Shit.
That there be enough to put me off

It’s easy to see you know what you want to do already

 

[Needhelpfast1]

Ive read it burns out your dopamine receptors but when I stop it should return to normal. I'm so ready to stop now this shit is taking over my days I'm so miserable!! Its so weird it's not even fun.

Also just a thought I'm prescribed quetiapine 25mg tablets they give them out like sweets here in the UK, because of the death of my grandmother early last year I wasn't coping, I don't take them though as I didn't like how sleepy they made me and groggy in the mornings, however I've read that quetiapine can assist in cocaine withdrawals, I'm thinking if I use my willpower and get my mindset right and ride out a period of time using the quetiapine with cocaine abstinence could this help?

 

[KS78]

I suspect that you are living with the dealer or heavy user and that's why you have unlimited access to it. If so, it's quite a vicious cycle. You need to leave the guy but he has cocaine and you keep on using which makes it not possible for you to leave. Bad situation.

 

[Meth novice 79]

Ive read it burns out your dopamine receptors but when I stop it should return to normal. I'm so ready to stop now this shit is taking over my days I'm so miserable!! Its so weird it's not even fun.

Also just a thought I'm prescribed quetiapine 25mg tablets they give them out like sweets here in the UK, because of the death of my grandmother early last year I wasn't coping, I don't take them though as I didn't like how sleepy they made me and groggy in the mornings, however I've read that quetiapine can assist in cocaine withdrawals, I'm thinking if I use my willpower and get my mindset right and ride out a period of time using the quetiapine with cocaine abstinence could this help?

I was actually wondering what would be effective for coming off coke.
I guess you say that you use it for motivation though don’t you?
Gets you up and cleaning and busy over your day.
A downer like the serys would help with some of the anxiety you’re likely to suffer. And in larger doses it’s a killer sedative.
But it wouldn’t really solve your issue, since your attraction to the drug is the motivation it gives you.

I don’t know where you are, and certainly here it’s still not something they’re willing to trial very much, but aderal, Ritalin and the like COULD be your answer, if you’re willing to try and convince a doctor?
I know it’s not coke, it’s more similar to meth of course, but it’s still an upper?

 

[Meth novice 79]

I suspect that you are living with the dealer or heavy user and that's why you have unlimited access to it. If so, it's quite a vicious cycle. You need to leave the guy but he has cocaine and you keep on using which makes it not possible for you to leave. Bad situation.

You suspect do you?
Very intuitive
It’s why she’s here.
He’s likely a self glorified pig who got her in this mess intentionally to control her.
Lucky she has a mind of her own

 

[Needhelpfast1]

You suspect do you?
Very intuitive
It’s why she’s here.
He’s likely a self glorified pig who got her in this mess intentionally to control her.
Lucky she has a mind of her own

He is a self glorified pig yes, but he doesn't know the extent, he knows I do it here n there when I see friends, he is so dumb and oblivious, I'm fully aware he uses most days due to the obvious signs, but he has no clue about me, its a complete secret which makes this so much harder. Before it was around me all the time I never even thought about it, but cause I know it's there, it's so easy to just break a lil rock off for the day and nobody would know, I hate it. The obvious thing is to remove the source but that's not Completely possible at this moment in time.. I need to be able to say no to myself.

 

[Needhelpfast1]

I was actually wondering what would be effective for coming off coke.
I guess you say that you use it for motivation though don’t you?
Gets you up and cleaning and busy over your day.
A downer like the serys would help with some of the anxiety you’re likely to suffer. And in larger doses it’s a killer sedative.
But it wouldn’t really solve your issue, since your attraction to the drug is the motivation it gives you.

I don’t know where you are, and certainly here it’s still not something they’re willing to trial very much, but aderal, Ritalin and the like COULD be your answer, if you’re willing to try and convince a doctor?
I know it’s not coke, it’s more similar to meth of course, but it’s still an upper?

Thanks for the reply, im in the UK. I don't really want to start a cycle of another medication I've always been very health conscious, I've done naturopathy courses and have always looked after myself up until I got stuck in this rut. I was just thinkin a few weeks of the quetiapine alongside serious willpower to get me out of the cycle and reset myself. I definitely feel ready.. I read quetiapine can block something that causes the cravings.. A few weeks of feeling like a zombie, some councelling maybe and as I said willpower because the lows are outweighing the highs now.. To save my life.. Could be worth a try? Anyone got clean of coke before if so how?

 

[Meth novice 79]

Thanks for the reply, im in the UK. I don't really want to start a cycle of another medication I've always been very health conscious, I've done naturopathy courses and have always looked after myself up until I got stuck in this rut. I was just thinkin a few weeks of the quetiapine alongside serious willpower to get me out of the cycle and reset myself. I definitely feel ready.. I read quetiapine can block something that causes the cravings.. A few weeks of feeling like a zombie, some councelling maybe and as I said willpower because the lows are outweighing the highs now.. To save my life.. Could be worth a try? Anyone got clean of coke before if so how?

Definitely worth a try!
And my ex husband just suggested dexis If it does become too much for you in the meantime.
They’re low dose but will pep you up.
They got him clean 2.5 years ago and I think he only filled the script twice.

I’ve only tried coke twice, and tbh it reminded me a lot of low quality meth.
All I got was a sore nose and insomnia for 6 hours. Meanwhile my partner wanted to fuck but I kept pissing off outside for a smoke lol

But uppers don’t really do a lot for me in general. I like drugs that relax me as I’m naturally 100 mile an hour

 

[Meth novice 79]

He is a self glorified pig yes, but he doesn't know the extent, he knows I do it here n there when I see friends, he is so dumb and oblivious, I'm fully aware he uses most days due to the obvious signs, but he has no clue about me, its a complete secret which makes this so much harder. Before it was around me all the time I never even thought about it, but cause I know it's there, it's so easy to just break a lil rock off for the day and nobody would know, I hate it. The obvious thing is to remove the source but that's not Completely possible at this moment in time.. I need to be able to say no to myself.

Ohhhh well done girl! You have kept the upper hand here
He’s going to be so blind sided when you walk

I do the same with meth hey?
I don’t like how it makes me feel, I miss my sleep so much, I’m a cranky asshole for 2 days after and to top it off after all that, I’m broker too.
It’s almost inexplicable why we keep doing it isn’t it?

 

[Needhelpfast1]

Ohhhh well done girl! You have kept the upper hand here
He’s going to be so blind sided when you walk

I do the same with meth hey?
I don’t like how it makes me feel, I miss my sleep so much, I’m a cranky asshole for 2 days after and to top it off after all that, I’m broker too.
It’s almost inexplicable why we keep doing it isn’t it?

Thankfully yes, i think no I KNOW I need to throw the whole person out to get the whole thing out of my space, toxic in MANY ways, I'm booked in for some hypnotherapy with a really nice guy the first week of Feb, I'm gonna tell him everything and hopefully he can plant some stuff into my subconcious. Until then I'm working extremely hard on my self esteem, giving Satan no emotional reactions and making a plan. I think I need to heal all the other stuff to help me or I'll just look for another crutch.. This is the most negative crutch I've leant on though

 

[Meth novice 79]

oh gosh.
I used to think that way too,
That I attracted bad men because I lacked something. Like I deserved it.
Until I met my Satan
Worked out pretty fast I was an angel by comparison
Now I enjoy single life, no one to answer to, no one gas lighting me, no smelly men’s undies to wash!!

You don’t need anything planted, you have written it all out beautifully

Read it again?

And then maybe make a list.
What are 5 things you want to do?
Just for you.
Focus on those while quitting, helps to keep you busy and any small achievement Spurs you on

 

[KS78]

Methylphenidate (Ritalin) is used often for becoming cocaine free. People say good things about it. I think that if you can get Concerta (extended release Ritalin), it would be great for your situation. You could take one pill which would hold you for quite some time.

 

[Meth novice 79]

T

Methylphenidate (Ritalin) is used often for becoming cocaine free. People say good things about it. I think that if you can get Concerta (extended release Ritalin), it would be great for your situation. You could take one pill which would hold you for quite some time.

They totally need to start prescribing these types of drugs for meth withdrawal.
Everyone I know who has been able to get their hands on Ritalin or dexies (illegally of course cos doctors suck) has successfully quit meth.
I think I know about 5 people now who used it, and maybe one still uses meth on occasion, but none have gone back to full addiction.
It’s really the same basic principle as methadone. While not ideal, it’s still so much less stress on the mind than meth and better than nothing at all.

 

[Needhelpfast1]

Methylphenidate (Ritalin) is used often for becoming cocaine free. People say good things about it. I think that if you can get Concerta (extended release Ritalin), it would be great for your situation. You could take one pill which would hold you for quite some time.

Can anybody explain the science behind the ritalin helping? I thought it was used to treat adhd, how does it help and how does it make you feel and is it safe? Xx is it addictive too?

 

[Meth novice 79]

Can anybody explain the science behind the ritalin helping? I thought it was used to treat adhd, how does it help and how does it make you feel and is it safe? Xx is it addictive too?

For the people I know who use it, it’s about the ‘upper’ factor.
Ritalin used in a child with ADHD has the effect that it allows them to slow down a bit and concentrate more, which I guess is one of the things meth, or speed is known for.
Uni kids used it to study for exams.
And in a person who doesn’t have ADHD tendencies it has the upper, motivating factor with the added bonus of speeding the metabolism at the same time. A lot of ex meth users struggle with weight gain sadly so Ritalin helps them keep it down.

While I don’t believe Ritalin or aderal are amphetamines as such, they just act in a similar way. And can give a similar buzz tho not as strong as meth.
Dexies (dexamphetamine) on the other hand is almost chemically the same as meth.

 

[Needhelpfast1]

Just a lil update, I'm now 24hours clean, not taking any other meds just supplements. i feel completely fine so far.. little bit snappy but no cravings? Will they come? Also Im finally feeling the actual pain in my nose as its not been numbed for the first day in ages. Dreading seeing what comes out of there in days to come? So I asked the source to keep his stuff out of the house from now on and to keep it in the car or anywhere but here, didn't say why just said anxiety about the legality, and he stayed out last night so there's been nothing around me. The real test will come when he's home and he either disregards what I say as usual or I know it's just out in the car but I'm just creating a scenario that hasn't happened yet.

Anybody gone through cocaine wd with any tips most welcome.. Bluelight is the only place that knows my lil secret. Im ridin this solo xx

 

[Jabberwocky]

I quit a 6-month IV coke binge by taking 50 mg of seroquel a day, swimming laps at the pool, and avoiding all triggers and people associated with my use. There was a fair amount of willpower involved as well - but it seems like you have the desire and determination to quit so that should be no problem. Good luck.

 

[mr peabody]

Sorry for your troubles. Maybe have a look here:

News - COCAINE | "The public needs to know that today's cocaine contains fentanyl" ->

The evidence for ibogaine: What new studies tell us about ibogaine for addiction treatment Over twenty years ago, former heroin addict and scientist Howard Lotsof filed a series of patents for something he called Endabuse, which he saw as a universal, accessible addiction treatment. This...

www.bluelight.org

 

[jose ribas da silva]

Your problem is related more to your life, other aspects, than with the drug... 3 months of use will not generate significant withdrawal symptoms as I have already said to you... irritability and craving will be the main ones

Being close to the drug all the time and in a toxic environment, however, seem like the final pavement necessary to go further into the drug.