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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

C'mon lads n lasses, tell us about yer most disastrous fuck!

Me and my friend-with-benefits railed up some MDMA while home, began fooling around, and we soon are naked and I'm eating her.
Usually she cums in like 5 mins or so, after 10 still nothing and she grabs my head and pulls me up and tells me to put it in so I do, I fuck her from the top a bit, then she rides me as she usually does to come and boy is she trying, but nothing, then rolls over and asks me to do her from behind so here I go, doing my best until my heartbeat is worryingly high and I'm exhausted and my glutes are cramping, at which point she says that when high on MDMA she's only into quickies and she is not in the mood anymore, so basically we shagged till boredom and exhaustion, we didn't come or even get close, and I was stuck with a rock hard boner for a bit, my balls where hurting into the early hours of the next day. :(
 
Some bloke who doesn't exist anymore, let's call him Simon -- no, Peter, definitely not Simon -- was at a pop festival in Belgium, in 1996 (Why was he at a pop festival in Belgium, in 1996? Because there wasn't a pop festival in Glastonbury in 1996, is why .....) It was the Dour Festival, somewhere near St Ghislain (that was the station with the festival shuttle bus) in the French-speaking part of Belgium.

As he was preparing to get back into his tent for the night, an attractive young woman asked him some innocent question, in French. Due no doubt in part to the several litres of beer he had consumed that day, he failed to notice the full significance of the fact that he was able to understand her French first time, without requests for repetition. He responded in French, and a conversation soon struck up. He could sense her gaze taking him in. Her nostrils flared slightly. He responded likewise. Was there some chemistry between them? Some potential energy about to fulfil its long-held dream of becoming kinetic energy?

And then, in a single moment, two dreams of some hot Continental-style action dispersed in fragments, as sudden realisation burst in. She said to SimonPeter, and at the exact same time he said to her, Hey -- You're English, aren't you?

And the hot couple went off the boil quicker than a kettle with a mechanism rigged to dump a couple of litres of liquid nitrogen over it as soon as the switch trips off.

You can't really get more disastrous than no fuck at all, now, can you?
 
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