Chocolate and wool socks = conspiracy?

[Mr.Hankey]

For eternity I have been wondering and pondering this phenomenon. Seems like every xmas everyone and their guinea pig's nephew is getting a box or 2 of chocolate and of course a pair of fucking wool socks. Yet nobody nevers adds them to their wish list for Santa. Now something here smells fishy to me and this time it ain't my...preciousss. Gotta be a conspiracy, probably to cover up something big happening in the backgrounds, but I haven't been able to figure it out yet. Any thoughts?

 

[JahSEEuS]

I actually ask for wool socks on the reg.

Good wool socks are simply the best.

Retaining up to 90% of heat even while wet? Breathable? What more could you want?

 

[Mr.Hankey]

Ah, you're one of them.
Stop spreading your filthy lies.
Wool socks are governmaent made cancer.

 

[herbavore]

Chocolate and wool socks are code words. You've been getting them all these years and you haven't figured out what they are trying to recruit you for?

 

[Mr.Hankey]

Who, me?
I have no idea what you are talking about.
I've never even tasted wool socks.

 

[spacejunk]

That's what they all say...as they squelch around with chocolate in their shoes.

 

[Mr.Hankey]

I proudly, yet innocently, squelch around in my socks and sandals.

 

[herbavore]

^You must be from my town! We once had a nationally known comedian come here and do a stand up gig and the first thing she said after she looked at a guy in the front row wearing sandals (Birkenstocks!) and socks was, "Wow, you must be the Mayor here."

 

[Mr.Hankey]

Well well well, guess what I got for xmas.
Wool Fucking Socks.
Illuminati never forgets.