That sounds like a quote from the NA big book.
Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment. But for real though, I was doing so fucking good, and not even wanting to get high, now Im back caught in the grip.
Its like I was doing so good and I wish I could get back there, but Im gettign high again and its seems so hard to stop and get back on track, feels like theres no way out. Alot of days I fantasize about coppin enough for just one bag, the body bag. And I think back "how the fuck did I end up back here again? doing the things I said I'd never do again" You know? Its like you make it out of that life, and then for whatever reason you choose to go back in welcoming the shit with open arms.
But thats my shit, and maybe this isnt the propper place to post this shit, just needed to say it.
Today I was able to hustle up 100 bucks and copped 12 of em, and its just fucking garbage. I did like 5 already, took my sick off, but barely even nodding. Its like fuck, why even bother then, you know? Not satisfied with the shit, and not satisfied without. And the few times like this when its garbage Ill try to drive to the city to cop, but I don't know the spots and got no connect in the city, so I go the areas where I figure the spots are, but I either don't get served or I get robbed, or I get sold some whoop. Even the times when Ive tried to pick up some local bitch walkin the track and offer to get her one if she'll show me where to cop, I've still been sold whoop. Maybe I'm too white
man this dope game. so my usual phone connect usually give me a deal and he did not the other day so i text him seeing if he could hook it up today if i come thru and he like freaking went off on me saying like all i do is complain etc... it is like dude i am spending X every X days damn right i am going to ask for a freaking deal. so he was like go find someone else then. i guarentee i can take my $ elsewhere and he would be calling. anyways, just felt like bitching about my d boy.... so yeah i am not sure want to do. i guess look for a new connect that will gladly take my X every X days.... right?
Fuck yeah, if you can take your business elsewhere, do so. I get so fed up with my guys BS, I wish I had the luxury of a few more connects or an open air market in my city.